Authors: Sky Winters
As the miles flew passed, the landscape changed from the buildings of the city and the suburbs to the gradual progression into the countryside and onwards as they approached the Sierra Nevada and the more isolated places in the mountains.
She had waited for more than three hours for the delayed Pony Express to take her on the final leg of her journey. Now she felt much more confident mingling with the strangers she met in the new places she found herself. In the coach she travelled alongside a respectable middle aged woman and her child, introducing herself as Millie Jane Evans and creating a whole new history. Lucy had been surprised and rather guilty at the ease with which she could lie. Reinventing herself hadn't been too difficult so far. She had told Mrs. Adams that she was visiting her old father, a retired gold miner in the mountains; it had an element of truth and she was sure that God would forgive her the small white lie. Anyhow, it was a necessity. If she told the truth no respectable man nor woman would speak to her, she would be shunned from society and Gus would never have agreed to marry her.
When Mrs. Adams and her daughter left the coach, she was the only passenger remaining. With only an hour or so to travel before she reached her final destination Lucy began to fret. What if he hadn't received her letter and wasn't waiting for her? What if he had changed his mind about marrying her? It had all happened in such a haste, in her hurry to be away from the brothel and to start her new life as a good Christian woman. But they were not her biggest fears. It was not a Christian thought but what if she did not like him, and did not or could not love him, what then? She would have to put her trust into Gods hands.
The light had started to dim and the air chill. Lucy was cold and emptiness gnawed at her stomach. Her eyes were heavy and weary yet she could not sleep. After hours of sitting on a wooden seat, the carriage had become uncomfortable and she longed to stretch her legs. All she could do was to gaze out of the small compartment window at the white orb of the moon hanging above the approaching mountains, and wonder at her fate.
The horses slowed to a juddering halt at their final destination. They were over three hours late from the scheduled time and she doubted that there would be anyone to greet her. Her life to date had taught her to be resourceful, and she had a little money put away for an emergency and the carriage driver had told her there was a small respectable hotel where a single young woman could stay if needed to at the end of the street.
As she stepped down the carriage steps she could hear a piano tinkling from within the local saloon. The street was deserted except for a stray mangy dog skulking about in the shadows. Looking up the street to her left there stood a general store, all locked up and shuttered for the night and several other wooden clad buildings, similarly all in darkness.
To her right she could see a large building towards the end of the street. She could see that several lights were lit in many of the rooms and she guessed it to be the hotel. The coach driver confirmed her opinion and she set off slowly down the muddy track of road, eager for a good night’s sleep.
As she wandered down the dirty street, careful to avoid the patches of mud and horse dung, a voice sounded out across the cold night air.
“Miss.”
Lucy’s heart skipped a beat. The voice was male, low and rich, and it rang out clearly, even though she was certain that she had been alone.
“Miss, wait”.
The voice sounded nearer and she could hear the soft pad of footsteps approaching.
Turning round her hands flew to her chest in fright. A tall, dark figure had moved out of the shadows and was almost upon her and she stepped back in fear.
The figure stopped and removed his hat. She could focus on his features now, quite handsome with dark hair and clean shaven. His eyes looked kindly upon her as he bowed his head apologetically.
“I’m sorry to run up at you like that Miss, but I was afraid that you didn’t hear me. You see, I’ve been waiting here for most of the day and I’m wondering if you might be Miss Evans? “
Lucy’s heart beat even faster. Her nerve started to fail and she looked embarrassedly at the ground. She hadn’t expected to meet him like this, in the street, in the dark. She had imaging tidying herself up, perhaps adding a new ribbon to her hair, polishing her shoes and a hundred and one things that she might have done before they met. Now he was here, standing in front of her.
In the silence he began to hop from one foot to the other, her awkwardness rubbing off on him, leaving them both feeling like embarrassed school children.
“Millie Jane?”
His voice now sounded anxious, no longer confident.
She looked up at him, eyes large and bright, unsure of what to say or do. Her voice was quiet, like a mouse. The name had sounded unusual on his lips and she was still getting used to it.
“Gus?”
At the sound of his name he stood straight, an inch taller as he swept back the dark unruly hair with his hand.
“At your service Ma’am.”
Lucy couldn’t help but smile at his words. She had been so used to being treated badly by men, that it was a refreshing change to hear him being so polite, so gentleman like.
Her smile immediately broke the ice. Gus had been worried that she was having second thoughts about him and had already changed her mind about staying. He was painfully aware of the differences in their ages and he wondered what she thought upon seeing him for the first time.
Unable to think of anything else to do, Lucy held out her tiny, gloved hand which Gus eagerly grasped, nearly crushing her fingers in his large, rough miners hands. The relief on his face was plain to see and he started to laugh as he relaxed.
“I’m sure glad it is you Miss Evans. I would be feeling mighty stupid right now if you had been someone else. Now what am I thinking about, you must be tired and hungry? My horse and wagon are just a little way down here, now come along and I’ll take you home”.
The word ‘Home’ made Lucy’s heart ache in her breast. She had never known a real home, not since she was a small girl. Gus seemed so kind; it almost seemed too good to be true. Picking up her small bag she followed the tall figure back down the street.
“Hey, where are my manners – let me take that bag from you. That’s what I’m here for Miss Evans, to look after you right and proper from now on.”
His cabin was a little way out of town and the journey back took a little over half an hour. Lucy did not mind, and sat up on the front of the coach close to Gus. Her heart lifted as they travelled through the open country. She couldn’t see much in the darkness, but the air smelled fresh and sweet of pine, and she felt free for the first time in years. It was a cold night yet she did not feel it, her heart already aglow with a new sense of belonging.
The cabin was small yet comfortable. Gus had built it many years ago with his own hands and though it was simple, she could see that it had been made with love and care and built to last. The walls were thick to insulate against the winters cold and the windows and doors tightly fitting against the chill winds. Leading her through the front door he set down her things, opening the door wide for her to step into the main room. He had made an effort for her; there were flowers in a small jar on the heavy and scrubbed table, and the stove was lit creating a rosy glow that brought a cheer to the place. Gus stood back, watching her eyes. He knew it was simple by city standards but he was proud of his handy work. Again, he wondered what she would make of the sparse and simplistic living quarters. Lucy had to stop herself from smiling too much, her heart was so full. She started imagining what she could do to the place, perhaps some curtains and a few cushions would add a feminine touch.
Seeing the happiness in her eyes he felt content and started to light the lamps in the room.
“Come this way, I’ll show you where I sleep.”
Opening a door at the far left of the room, he led her into a large and airy room. There was a large window at one end, covered with a wooden blind and in one corner a cupboard for clothes. A large and comfortable bed covered with a huge patchwork quilt stood in the middle.
“This is where you will sleep Miss Evans.”
As soon as he had finished speaking he looked embarrassed, a red color flushing through his cheeks.
“Of course, I will sleep on the couch, until we are wed good and proper, I didn’t mean, I didn’t...”
Gus stopped speaking suddenly, not sure where the conversation was leading to and not thinking it proper for a ladies ears.
Lucy had to stop herself from rushing to his aid. She almost wanted to tell him that it was OK, she was more than happy to sleep with him from the first evening, but she held back. That was the old Lucy, the old days. It would not be fitting for a young lady to say such things. Gus would expect her to be chaste, a virgin and she must act that way.
She lowered her head and feigned a maiden’s blush. It was an honest piece of woman’s trickery but it seemed to work and Gus stepped out of the room.
“I’ll get your things and let you get yourself settled. I’ll bring you some hot water too so you can wash and tidy yourself up a little. Not that I think you look untidy, no Ma’am I think you look just swell, I just meant for you own comfort.”
She smiled up at him, his face anxious that he had said the wrong thing again.
“That would be appreciated Gus.”
The water was hot and she splashed it onto her hands and face to freshen herself. She could have easily fallen into the large and welcoming bed, she was so tired, but Gus had prepared her supper, a pot of simmering chicken broth was waiting for her when she emerged from the bedroom. Gus had placed a large bible on the table next to his supper; God had definitely guided her to the right man.
He waited until she had sat down before he joined her at the table, and lowering his head solemnly he said a short grace before they started eating.
The broth was delicious and Lucy ate quickly, regaining her appetite.
“This is good Gus; you’re obviously a good cook?”
Gus looked sheepish and lowered his head.
“I’ve got to admit Miss Evans that my neighbour’s wife made this for me. I’m afraid I’m not very good at this sort of thing. It would be bread and cheese it if had been left to me.”
Lucy laughed.
Gus looked serious. “I shouldn’t have lied to you, mislead you like that, I’m sorry”
“It was only a little white lie Gus, I forgive you, and it doesn’t matter.”
Gus placed his hand on the bible. “A little white lie is the start of the slippery slope Miss Evans. God see’s all. In the book of Psalms it states ‘
No one who practices deceit shall dwell in my house; no one who utters lies shall continue before my eyes’
. And you can’t argue with Gods words Miss Evans.”
For a moment she felt cold. All the warmth of the cabin, the cosiness, the lights, seemed to have been sucked out into the dark night. A cold shiver of fear rippled through her backbone, and she felt a heaviness in her heart. For a few brief hours she had forgotten her past, who she really was and where she had come from. Here she sat breaking bread with a good, honest, and Christian man and she had no right to be here, no right at all. Dropping her spoon into the broth she sat back into her chair, nauseas with anxiety.
Gus was soon at her side looking concerned.
“I’m sorry Miss Evans; I can ramble on so sometimes, I didn’t mean to sound so stern. My dear departed mother always said I should have been a preacher. I get carried away sometimes. I have lived on my own for too long and forget my manners. Forgive me but I am not used to feminine company. You must be tired, here let me help me to your room, you will feel much better after a sleep in the morning.”
Lucy let him talk. Her sudden weariness had left her unable to do so. The words from the bible had struck her down like a sword and she felt weak and afraid. She would make her excuses in the morning and leave this place. It was the only decent thing to do.
Once she was alone she knelt down at the side of the bed in prayer. She had come too far since Denver, physically as well as emotionally for it all to end so abruptly. Gus was a good man and she could not lie to him, but then again she could not tell him the truth or he would surely despise her; and that would be the worst thing in this case; hurting a good, Christian man like Gus.
She didn’t sleep well. Her conscience kept her awake during the long dark hours. She had been so certain that it had been God’s will to lead her out here, but now she wasn’t so sure and wondered if God had abandoned her, or had really forgiven her after all? Perhaps the Preacher had been wrong all along.
It was only as the grey light of dawn started to filter through the wooden blind that she finally fell into a deep sleep through sheer exhaustion.
A sound woke her and she wondered where she was. There it was again, the distinct sound of someone chopping wood outside. Opening her eyes she looked around the strange room, taking a few seconds to realise where she was and remember the events of the night before. Her stomach lurched as she recalled Gus’s words at the table and lay quietly in bed wondering what she should do. The room was cosy and homely and Lucy could feel the tears start to well up in her eyes and start to spread in large drops down her cheeks. This could have so easily been her home, she could have been happy here; very happy.