Resurrecting Harry (26 page)

Her words stabbed at his chest like a pointed dagger. He wasn’t sure what hurt worse, the idea that she was no more than a game to him, or the fact that in the end, Martin held more trust than he did? “Listen. I exist for one reason. You! Only you.”

She dug her heel deeper into the soft grass and said, “How is this possible?” Pivoting away, she started toward the park entrance, but stopped after only a few steps. With her back still to him, she continued, “Harry didn’t believe in an afterlife. So, if one exists, he would be denied it. This is what I
know
in my heart, but I still hoped. I wanted to believe that the stupid coded message was more than a means to an end.”

“Bess.” No matter how he tried, keeping the tears from his voice was impossible. “What do I have to say for you to believe he loved you above all else?”

She spun back to him. “Cease this shill! You can’t work over a master. Harry taught me well the art of illusion and the game of the con. I may be a pitiful, heartbroken widow, but I’m no one’s fool.”

“I never said you were. Never thought it. Not for one single moment. You are smart, sophisticated and intuitive. I need you to look in my eyes right now and just believe.”
He spun his fingers around the silver band, and he then handed it to her. “The inside of yours is engraved with Roseabelle. Harry chose that — because like the message in your safe — it was a code. Remember?”

“There is nothing to believe in. It has to be some kind of fairytale. How can you be Harry resurrected?”

“You had faith in the two of you, trusted your love when there was barely enough money to put food in your stomachs or a roof over your heads. When far away cities called asking the Houdinis to perform, you never once lost confidence that the two of you could — and would — succeed. You never lost that devotion to you and him, no matter how bumpy the road got. Look in my eyes. I know you see his soul. You know it’s true, but you’re just afraid to accept it.”

Bess bowed her head, pinching the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. Her body slumped; she looked broken. “I’m losing my mind, every last bit of it.”

“No. You’re not.”

“It’s true,” she whispered, crossing her arms in front of her chest. She may be accepting the truth, but that didn’t mean she was ready to welcome him home with open arms. “His spark, his soul, lives and breathes inside you, maddening me and stealing my heart.” She paused. He waited for joy to fill her eyes, for her to embrace him and kiss him, but she stumbled back. “So the great Harry Houdini has escaped death. Bravo!” She waved her arms as if she were announcing him to the stage.

Was shock stealing her joy? Surely she understood the truth. “We have another chance at life and happiness.”

“By whose definition? I’m too old to go back on the road and perform for my supper, and I’m just too broken to stand stage-side every night and wait for the reaper to steal Harry from me again. My heart couldn’t bear mourning him a second time.”

What was she doing? Now that she knew the truth, she was breaking up with him?
“No, Bess. No more spotlight. No more quest for glory. Just you and me, a second chance at the happiness he promised and failed to keep.”

“Not failed. I loved that life while we lived it. Yes, every night you tempted the gods to rip you from my arms—”

“It was never that dangerous. An illusion, baby.”

“To the crowds it was a show, but it was my reality. Death broke our bond and not even the great Houdini can repair that.”

He stepped closer to her, reached out, but she swayed to the right, avoiding his touch. “In this body Harry’s soul has learned how much pain he’s caused. I started this journey thinking of Harry and I as one and the same, but I have grown as Erich. And my touch has begun to heal your pain.”

A smile curved her lips, and her body softened. “It has. You’ve shown me that no matter how beautiful the past was, Harry’s dead and I need to live for tomorrow. The irony is with you, I would be living for yesterday.” She stepped closer to him, touched his cheek with a trembling hand and lightly brushed her lips against his. “Thank you for the guidance, but I can’t go back to Harry, and with his soul that’s who you’ll always be.” She looked deep in his eyes. Was she looking for one last glimpse of Harry or memorizing Erich’s face for her dreams? “Good bye.”

No.
They hadn’t come this far for her to just give up now. She tried to walk by him, but Erich took her elbow and guided her back. Gliding that hand up her arm and over her shoulder, he pulled her body to his and left a chaste kiss on her cheek. “Before you walk away from what we could be, think about these last couple of weeks. Haven’t I been good for you?”

She laid her head against his shoulder. This wasn’t easy for her; he could see the pain of her choices clearly etched on her face. “For years I watched you flirting with the Angel of Death. No! Not flirting. You two were caught in a torrid love affair, sharing passionate kisses right in front of my eyes. The whole world watched you make love to her night after night in the bright, white spotlight of the stage. In the end, you chose her over me.”

“That’s not true.”

“Don’t you see? If I stay, I know how this story ends. With Harry’s soul it would only be a matter of time before you would be called back to danger’s arms. I can’t stick around for the encore, my love. It would be too damn painful.” Her body tightened as she pulled away and walked toward the street, never once looking back.

For Erich, it was as if she took Harry’s soul with her, leaving him an empty shell. His flesh went cold, and his knees weak. He’d anticipated anger or tears, but for her to walk away?
That
was unthinkable.

Theirs was a love for the ages, one that couldn’t be broken. Or so he’d thought. Bess said she was leaving him now, because she couldn’t relive that past. Harry had lived a fantasy. While painting illusions for the rest of the world, he’d thought his wife was happy and their love for each other was enough to conquer the worst, but it hadn’t been. No, love hadn’t eased her fear. And trepidation kept her from his arms now.

He stumbled to the park bench and sat, focusing on the gentle breeze pushing around the leaves on the California Oak Trees. He locked his gaze, knowing if he allowed his heart control of his emotions, he’d dissolve. Living without Bess was unthinkable.

“You did it, Erich. You saved her.” Jaden’s voice rang in his ear with none of the pompous flare or righteousness Erich was used to. Quiet, sullen, as if Jaden mourned too.

“From Harry,” Erich whispered, realizing now that he’d been the real demon in her life.

“From drowning in the memory. From clinging to a past that was dead and buried.”

“I might have won the bet, but in the end I’ve lost.” Erich looked to Jaden, who was dressed appropriately for the time period, his hair braided and tucked beneath his shirt. He almost looked normal as he approached the bench and sat next to Erich.

“I can’t imagine a life without her.” There was no containing his pain. His voice cracked, and his hands shook with it.

“Why don’t you go to her?”

“Because the last thing she wants is to relive a life with Harry. I know you don’t believe me, but it was always for her. She was all that ever mattered to him. And she’s all that ever mattered to me. What good is winning our wager if in the process I lost her?”

“Then why do you sit here mourning the loss when there is still fight in your body and soul?”

“She won’t take me back as long as I carry Harry’s soul.” Saying the words sparked an idea, and Erich slowly turned his gaze to Jaden’s icy eyes he often tried to avoid. “But there is something you can do about that. Take back Harry’s soul, it’s no longer a part of me anyway.”

Jaden shook off the confusion and twisted his body toward Erich. “If I did that, you, Erich would cease to exist.”

“No! I don’t believe that. At first, maybe it was true, but something happened in my time here. I’m completely separate from him.  You controlled this game, moved us around like pawns for your amusement. You say I won, reward me with my own life.”

The large man shook his head slowly. “You are right that things have changed. I had the power over Harry’s soul in the beginning, but that changed along with your transformation. It doesn’t belong to me anymore. Harry and Erich may have started this journey one and the same, but you — Erich — have taken his past and created a new future. One that you control. You’ve become a man that has learned the value of putting other’s needs before one’s own.”

Was he still doing that? “What’s better for her, Jaden? A life with or without me?”

“What do you think? Does she deserve a life with an unconditional and all-consuming love or one that she lives alone?”

How could I turn Harry away?
Yet, she stopped short of following her heart and running back to the park and his arms. She couldn’t. Erich had taught her not to live in the past, just before asking her to reclaim it.

That was Harry all right. A living, breathing dichotomy.

But now, the crossroads had made her stop. What she was running from...and to? She could go to the hotel, but he’d come looking for her there. Same for the deli, but she needed to talk to someone. Martin and Gail were biased against Erich. How could she tell them about Harry?

She couldn’t tell Will about that either, but she could think out loud and express to him the jumbled mess of emotions twisting her stomach into knots. He would give her honest, evenhanded advice. He’d also toss Erich out on his ear if he showed up and she asked.

Given it was late morning, it didn’t surprise Bess to find the deli empty. Will ambled into the dining room, wiping his hands on his apron.

Her strong facade crumbled.

“Bess, what wrong?” He rounded the counter’s corner and took her elbow, leading her to the booth and helping her sit. “Coffee?”

She nodded. Will’s heavy steps sounded as he rushed back, but she focused on the torn upholstery of the seat across from her and gripped the table with both hands. She shoved the brewing tears back down; too many had already been shed. Will grabbed her attention by dropping the coffee mug and small plate with a flakey pastry to the table in front of her. He slid into the booth and covered the tear she been studying to keep from dissolving to a puddle of tears. Reaching across the table, he laid his hand on top of hers. “What happened?”

“How much am I supposed to bear, Will? At what point is okay to just give up and crawl in some hole?”

“Never, sweetie. You always have to keep moving forward. Even with all the bad things, life is still worth living. I think you’ll see that when Erich takes you back east to your family. Things will look a lot brighter.”

Just the mention of Erich caused a thumping in her temples. She took the grief and did the only thing she knew to do: held it at bay with anger. “You won’t catch me crossing the street with that reprobate.”

Will’s posture softened, and a smirk played across his face, only escalating her anger. “So when did you realize you were falling in love with him?”

She hated being transparent as glass. She’d worked so hard for so many years to learn how to shield her emotions from the crowds and the fans, and she had fallen out of practice so fast. “Love him? I can’t stand him. He’s done nothing but manipulate me since the moment he stepped foot in this town.”

“Funny thing about love and hate, they’re both rooted in passion. It’s pretty hard to feel one without the other. Whatever he’s done now wouldn’t have irritated you so much if you didn’t care.” The smile evolved into a hearty laugh that poked at her, stirring the flames, forcing her to ask the question: what had Erich done that was so wrong? Admitted that Harry’s soul was trapped in his body?

When he said that was something she already knew, he’d been dead on. Maybe it was that he knew her so well that upset her the most. Explaining to Will that being with Erich was impossible because of Harry’s soul would earn her a one-way ticket to the funny farm.

The facts? The idea of starting a new life that would become the same as the old not only frightened but enraged her. “He insinuated that we might have a future together.”

“That scoundrel!”

Will’s mock shock did nothing to soothe her anger. She wasn’t being silly, even if he saw it that way. “I can’t do it, Will! He has this spark, this light, just like Harry. He thinks the world is his to own, and I’m just too tired to be chasing grandiose dreams. I should be settling in to rock grandbabies, but because of the life I led with Harry, I don’t even have a child to care for me in old age.”

“Have you seen the way he looks at you? I was with him when he thought you may have been caught in that fire. He loves you.”

“It’s Harry’s old life that he’s wanted all along.”

Will simply shook his head. “I can see where you think there are similarities, Bess, but I don’t believe he wants to be with you for any amount of fame or fortune. His heart is in the right place.”

“He says that now, but in time that would fade.”

“Hmf,” Will muttered and cocked his head to the right as if he were studying the words she’s said. “Is it time that worries you? Are you afraid of what ten or twenty years will bring you? On one hand is a man who says he loves you and wants to stand by your side, accompany you down whatever road you want to walk, but instead you’d rather go it all alone because you fear what might happen? How he
might
change?”

“What do you want me to do? Believe in him?”

“If you love him, you have to. That’s what love is: giving another person blind faith, trusting that they will keep their word and never leave you behind. It wasn’t Harry’s choice to do that. Despite the fact he took risks every day, he didn’t want to die. He didn’t mean to leave you alone. You need to forgive him for that so your heart can heal. And you can’t hold Erich accountable for Harry’s mistakes. Just because Erich has the same hunger for living a full life, doesn’t mean he’ll fulfill it in exactly the same way Harry did.”

Was it really that simple? If she only believed in Erich, it would all be okay? Will’s words were gospel; she knew that leaving her alone wasn’t Harry’s intent, but still she blamed him. And what did she do after learning he defied the laws of life and death? She’d refused him again. Opening her billfold, she dropped two dimes to the table as she stood.

Will asked, “Where you going?”

“To find Erich.”

On the street, she repositioned her purse on her arm and pointed herself toward the hotel. Coming across the street, waving an arm to get her attention, was Edwin with his wife on his arm and their three children in tow.

Her life had been so full in the past week plus, that she hadn’t much thought of her favorite patient at the hospital. Part of her was disappointed in herself.  She painted on a smile and greeted the couple with a cheerful hello.

“Mrs. Houdini,” Edwin said after they’d closed the distance. “I’m so glad we ran into you. I’d been meaning to come by your place since I was released from the hospital—”

His wife elbowed his ribcage sharply. “Edwin! We were so sorry to hear about your home and the fire, Mrs. Houdini. Is there anything you need?”

The kind offering from the couple who barely had enough to make their own ends meet touched her. “The damage to the house and its contents was complete, but I’ll be just fine. Possessions can be replaced. I’m lucky that my friend Erich and I were not injured or worse.”

“We really do want to help, in any way we can,” Edwin said. “After all, what you did for us by paying my hospital bill was such a generous blessing.”

Bess stepped closer to Edwin and gave him a loose hug. “I don’t want you to mention it again. I was glad to help. What’s important is that you are back with your family.” She turned to the three kids, looked into each of the round faces. “You have such a lovely family, Edwin. Take good care of them.”

“I will ma’am.”

As she watched them continue up the street, Bess’s decision to go back to Erich reaffirmed itself. Whether it was because of Harry’s soul or despite it, she was in love with him, and it was worth any risk to have him by her side.

***

Erich stopped in front of the hotel and questioned his choice again. Who was he doing this for? And why? Bess didn’t think she could live with him, and Jaden – and his previous views on love – almost convinced him that it caused far more pain than pleasure. Still, Jaden orchestrated this whole journey and had just declared the only future in which Bess found real happiness included Erich.

With a new found courage, he entered the lobby and started for the elevator. When the doors opened, he moved forward, but a strong hand grabbed his shoulder and spun him back, bringing him eye to eye with Martin.

His brows were furrowed and his jaw locked. “Me? That’s what you told the police to save your own sorry skin? That I started Bess’s house on fire? Forget the fact I can’t be two places at one time, I’d never do such a thing.”

“I didn’t say you did.”

“That’s not what Stanley Fisher said. He came out to my place and said you accused me and Gail of trying to poison you and starting the fire.”

Erich could hear the elevator door close again behind him. Harry wanted to lash out, shove Martin away and continue on his search for Bess, but Erich resisted. It’d do nothing except anger Bess, and she was mad enough at him.

“Look, all I said to Stanley was that you were upset with Bess because she canceled the séance.”

“And you told him that I gave her homemade brandy? He could have arrested me for that alone.” Martin lowered his gaze. “I don’t understand what I ever did to make you hate me so.”

Erich’s jaw dropped. “You threatened to make me disappear!”

Martin slid his hand through his cropped hair. “Not one of my finer moments.”

“You admitted to me you had laid seeds and were waiting for them to take root.”

“To help my wife! Not burn down Bess’s home.” He exhaled and looked to the ceiling for a moment. His angular chin quivered a bit as he leveled his gaze. “Rumors and speculation about what
really
happened between Gail and I while Louise was still alive have ruined her reputation. That’s on me, but Harry gave the gossips more fodder, and they pushed her down the social rungs of the spiritualist community. I had hoped that through this stupid séance, she might regain some respect from them. Not that it matters all that much to me, but it’s very important to her. I’ve worked very hard to mend the bridges with Bess that Harry had burned.”

All of Martin’s guilt and pain lay open on his face. And he had a point. Harry had lashed out in anger and set part of this wheel in motion long before his death. “Bess’s house is gone along with every possession that was in it. I had to tell the police what was happening.”

“Stan was pretty hard on Gail before he turned his investigation on me, but that isn’t anything new in this town. After all I’ve done for this community, all my years of service to the hospital, in their eyes I’m nothing more than a womanizer, and she’s no more than a home wrecker.”

How was that Erich’s fault? He’d only been in Martin’s life for a little more than a week, and he couldn’t be held accountable for Harry’s actions. “What am I supposed to do about it?”

Martin shrugged. “Feel a little guilty maybe.”

Erich sighed. “I don’t have time for this right now. I need to find Bess.”

“Well, that’s why I’m really here. Gail was pretty upset after being questioned. She took off in her car. I don’t know anyone she’d go to except for Bess.”

Erich pivoted and pushed the button to recall the elevator. “Bess and I had words at the park, and she’s in a bad mood. I bet the two of them are up in the hotel room, cursing me.”

As the doors closed, Erich stood alone with Martin in the small compartment. In some ways it felt so familiar; in others it was damn awkward. Despite his protests, Martin might be responsible for burning down Bess’s home and trying to poison him, but the piece of Harry who considered Martin a good friend missed the kinship. Erich had become good at squelching Harry’s voice recently, but he found himself listening to the longing in Erich’s soul and hearing the pain over Gail’s actions that Harry buried.

Sometimes anger isn’t a mask for other things, he realized.

The doors opened, and Erich led Martin down the narrow hall. In the room, he called out Bess’s name.

“They’re not here?” Martin asked. “Maybe they went to the deli for some coffee?”

“I looked there before I came here. Will said I’d just missed her.”