Redemption: Alchemy Series Book #4 (26 page)

He didn't speak, just stared at the ground.

"That's what he was freaked out about?" he said when he finally looked up as if he didn't understand.

"Didn't you just hear what I said?"

"Every word. What did he think was going on?"

"Are you telling me you already thought I had something to do with the rippers?"

"I didn't know
, but I'm not surprised after the other day when you called a horde of them." He leaned a hip against the arm of the sofa.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"You didn't look like you were ready to talk about it."

I couldn't fault him there. I'd practically
run from the crowd with hands over my ears, screaming "Nah, nah, nah."

"It doesn't bother you?" I stared hard now, looking for some sign of disgust or unease, but there was nothing. It baffled me. 

"I'm not thrilled by it, but it doesn't change anything between us. The way I feel about you doesn't come with a set of restrictions. There are no rules that say if you do this or you don't do that, I won't care anymore. This is just an aspect of who you are and I love you for the entirety of you, not for different pieces I can pull out."

I stood staring at this man, who accepted me fully, and it dawned on me for the very first time, he might be a better person than I was. I'd picked apart every action he'd ever made and weighed it by my scale of correct and incorrect, while he simply accepted me for everything I was.

I'd laid bare something to him that made Burrom squeamish. Something I myself didn't know if I would be able to handle, and he'd let it roll off his shoulders as easily as if I said it might look like rain today.

This was love. It wasn't what I had been expecting or had offered in return, but what he was giving me now.

I watched as he stood up straight and crossed the distance to me.

“What?” he asked as if trying to read my thoughts.

“I just didn't see it.”

He reached out and caressed my face, waiting for me to continue. 

“I don’t think I ever really understood until this moment.”

"You get it now?" he asked with a longing in his eyes that threatened to tear me apart.

I nodded. His hands reached down and gripped my ass, pulling me snug against him and I could feel his erection.

His lips covered mine, his tongue plunging into my mouth before he pulled back.

"Tell me," he said, both of us winded.

I pulled his mouth down to mine again as he pressed me against the wall. He pulled back, yanking my pants off and ripping them in his haste. I felt the swollen head of his penis barely breach my entrance then pull back.

"Tell me."

"Cormac, please." I squirmed closer to him but to no avail.

He pushed up my shirt and yanked down my bra, and then he took a nipple into his mouth. His fingers toyed with me but wouldn't give me what I truly wanted.

"Say the words."

"You know." I pulled at his hair in frustration.

"I want to hear it." The ridge of his penis ran back and forth
, just barely entering.

"I love you."

He thrust forward and filled me completely, pinning my hips against the wall with his. It was as frenzied, as I knew it would be after so long. He pumped into me harder and harder and I gripped at him, wanting more.

My world exploded as I was gripped in an orgasm. He joined me with a final deep thrust. We both collapsed right there on the floor, and I laid
my head on the crook of his shoulder.

Reality started to nip in again, all the more painful now that I had more to lose.

"What are we going to do?" I rubbed my hand over his chest.

"Right now," he rolled on top of me, thrusting into me at the same time, "more of this."

Chapter Twenty-Four

The Truth Doesn't Always Set You Free

"Jo..."

I bolted up in bed, a cold sweat on my skin, expecting to find the Earth King.

"Jo." It was the senator's voice.

I looked around the bedroom. I was alone. Cormac must have gone to do whatever it was he did while the rest of us who actually needed to sleep did just that.

I grabbed a pair of jeans and yanked a sweatshirt over my head. My hand pulled the door open slowly, peering out to see if someone was waiting in the living room. It was empty. I made my way out of the penthouse, and then the castle, without too many people taking notice. It was unfittingly sunny, almost cheery, in contrast to the company I sought out in front of the ruins he was partial to.

The senator was in front of the crumbled building, just as I'd expected to find him. He didn't turn toward me until I was nearly on top of him.

"I didn't think you'd come."

I didn't give him an explanation. What could I say? That I was grasping at straws, hoping somehow he had a change of heart?

"I've been told you know?" he asked.

I turned to stare at the ruins as well. I could still make out a couple pieces of roller coaster tracks.

"Yes. I'm aware of your plans."

"It doesn't need to come to this."

"I agree. I thought we had a truce."

"It didn't include him."

"I'm presuming you mean Cormac."

"I can smell him on you now." His facial expressions left no doubt of his feelings on the subject.

"What does he have to do with anything?"

"If you kill him, I'll stand my army down."

"Absolutely not."

"Then so be it." He didn't move though. "I loved your mother."

"I thought you hated her?"

"She was a pathetically flawed person, and yet I loved her. The wolves that botched your kidnapping, her killers, they would've died the moment they delivered you."

"Why are you telling me this now?"

He shrugged. "I would've told you long before
, if you had asked. Your pride was the only thing in between you and knowledge."

"Then tell me now. I deserve to know. What happened all those years ago and what the hell am I?"

He took a few steps away from me and I stared at his back, knowing the past would die with him; or, more likely, I'd die ignorant of it.

Then he stopped walking and turned back toward me.

"After I wouldn't do as the Keepers wanted, they imprisoned me in a different realm, as I told you. But Hammond, proud of what he'd created, would visit me. There was a portal, similar to what you would operate, that linked to the dimensional prison I was in. Sometimes he would show off to your mother, would entertain her by having me do tricks. He would allow me out, here and there, for her amusement, but they'd destroyed the shell of a body which had allowed me to remain in that world so I was weak.

"She wasn't a bright woman but
, typical of a user, she recognized an opportunity. She knew that one of my initial uses was going to be to ferret out diseases in people, because I can invade them with little pieces of me. We realized that we both had needs the other could fulfill. She had been trying to get pregnant with Hammond's child, and I needed a body to host me.

"We struck a deal. She was unaware of the changes I'd planned to set into place. I'm not sure even she would have agreed to that. It took her a while to find a human that I felt fit my specifics. Not every human would be able to sustain my energy. As you know, she eventually found a match.
"

"What did you do to me?"
I asked.

"Much more than I intended, that's for sure
, or none of this would have come to pass.

"She came to me right after she had lain with Hammond. I sent some of my molecular energy into her and imagine my surprise when I realized she had already conceived without my help. She'd tried for nearly a year.

"You might have made it without my help, but that wasn't my plan. I knew even then what I'd need in order to survive in any real form. I needed a Keeper so strong that they'd be able to open up portals, even when no one else could. So I took some of the very material, the magic that helped create this new world, and I infused it into your very genetic matter.

"Then I just waited. I knew it would take a while for you to become strong enough to do what I needed. I also had to place you in the right spot. I had to parade you right beneath Cormac's nose.

"He almost screwed up my plans when he shot you. I thought his lust would overcome his ethics. I was going to kill him for that, and then he protected you in the alley. I knew then that it would work out."

I sat on a broken piece of cement, my legs weak. "So all along this was planned?"

"Most of it. I needed you to think you were fighting against what I wanted, or you might have rethought some of your actions.

"Your father was just a waste. He figured out eventually but
, coward that he was, he killed himself instead of telling you. He thought you would need his strength to close the portals. He didn't want to own up to his part in the destruction, so he handled it the coward's way and thought that would be the end of it."

"But I didn't."

"No, you didn't."

I rubbed my hands on my jeans, feeling numb. Bit by bit, the full picture fell into place.

"Lacey?"

"Yes. I was controlling her for quite a while. I needed to keep tabs on you. I needed to know when you were ready."

"Is she dead?" I'd always figured she'd died during the shattering. At least now I would know for sure.

"Lacey was dead the moment Cormac's man left her."

There was no anger in his voice, just a matter of fact retelling. It meant nothing to him, as it crippled me.

I wanted to curl into a ball but I didn't. I kept my face stalwart and an eye on his position. He would pay, even if it cost me my life. I would see him pay.

Even with the turmoil churning through me, I realized one very important point. "You can't control a Keeper. It would've been much easier to just control me directly. Or Cormac, but you can't."

He looked upward
, toward the sky, as he shook his head. "I tried. Your bodies kill any part of me within seconds."

"So, how much of my life were you responsible for?"

"When your mother left you in the church, I lost track of you for a while, but I knew what to look for. It took some time, but I found you again when you were about ten. Then, when you were sixteen, you fell off the grid. That time was a lot harder, until you fell in with Oslo. I already had someone in his crew watching."

"And Oslo?"

"No. He was pretty crafty. I eventually had to put him down when I found out he was trying to organize a rebellion."

Put him down
, as if Oslo had been a feral animal. I was having a hard time even looking at the senator anymore. My desire for more information warred with every instinct I had to lunge and attack him.

He casually walked along in front to the ruins as I watched him
, and began to speak again. "The only thing I hadn't planned and didn't realize at the time was how intrinsically I was linking you to this new world. When I pulled its magic into you, to strengthen you, I didn't realize you would remain linked to it. I thought I could just take a piece of it. I didn't know it would stay connected."

"Now what? Even if you could, you're afraid to kill me. Why war? What is the point?"

He turned to me.

"Because if I can't get you to be with me willingly, I'll take everything you have left until you no longer care what happens. One by one, you'll watch them fall, and all because of you. Then you will either come with me or I'll take you when you no longer have anything left to fight for."

I've always wondered if anything was ever really all bad or if there was just a different ratio that tipped the scales in opposite directions. I used to believe that everybody had something redeeming about them. Staring into his cold chilling eyes, I knew I'd truly, and maybe for the first time in my life, stared down pure evil.

I couldn't let it happen. If war was coming, if he was set on doing this, I couldn't wait and risk more death.

I stood and opened myself up fully and pulled every ounce of magical energy I had to me with no real idea how I'd use it, just that I needed to end this now.

He knew instantly what I was about. He backed up a few steps and smiled.

"You didn't think it would be that simple, did you?"

Before I could draw any kind of significant power to me, he was gone in a tunnel of wind that blew dust and snow in my face.

I stood there. Alone, I let the tears of sorrow pour down my face. I cried for Lacey, Olso and the other countless deaths I couldn't even being to name.

And I cried to mourn the losses that were still to come.