Redemption: Alchemy Series Book #4 (11 page)

"Where are you driving?" I asked in an accusatory tone as he put the truck in gear. I'd become completely disoriented and with the snow whipping around, I didn't know if he was driving toward the castle or away from it. He might be willing to abandon everyone, but I wouldn't.

He looked at me. This was the first time I'd seen his face in months. I don't know why I expected to see something different there, but it was the same deep set pale eyes that had always been able to undo me.

"To the casino." He looked back toward the road, or what could be seen of it underneath the snow.

"I hope you don't plan on staying."

"I do."

"You're not welcome there anymore." And I don't think I could see you every day and hold it together. I'd thought I'd locked you away in a nice and neat compartment in my brain, and here you are, rattling the chains so easily. I could already feel myself being torn apart. As much as I hate you, I want to reach over and cling to you for dear life, begging you not to leave again.

"Well, that's unfortunate for whoever objects
, since it's still my casino." He was smiling as he said it, as if the idea of someone telling him to get out of his place made him want to laugh.

"I object." The idea of him strolling back into our lives enraged me. Or maybe it was because I felt like a bundle of raw emotions and he was acting blasé.

The smile fell from his face and he stared back at me.

"I didn't want to leave. I had to."

"For such a dire need, you seem quite unchanged." I made a show of eyeing him from the top of his thick black hair to the rugged boots on his feet.

"I needed to go." His voice was strained as he said the words.

"I don't believe you." I stared straight ahead.

"Why? When have I ever lied to you?"

"I don't want to hear the bullshit. Obviously you worked out whatever little problem it was. It must have been horrible."

"So that's how it's going to be? I don't know why I thought you might have grown up."

"Did you think it would be anything else, after you walked out? Did you think I'd be one of your little girlies, just thrilled to have you back paying attention to me? Why am I being like this? Because I
have
'grown up.' I've been taking care of things while you were gone."

"I told you. I had to."

"So, what horrible things happened? Did you go on some murdering rampage?"

"No." His jaw was tense and he wasn't looking at me either now.

"Did the magic make you rape and pillage entire villages or some other equally evil deed?" I arched a sardonic brow.

"No, but that doesn't mean
…"

"Then like I said, save it."

I turned my face toward the window, signaling that I was done speaking to him, but he kept going anyway.

"I know you. You're upset but you'll get over it."

I wasn't sure if he said it for me or himself. I didn't respond. I wasn't interested in talking this out with him. He'd made his choice.

When we finally pulled up as close as we could to the castle, my hand paused on the truck door handle and I felt a burning need to disabuse him of his conclusions. "You're wrong on both points. You don't know me, not anymore, not who I am now. And I won't just 'get over it.
’"

I didn't wait for a response but hopped down out of the truck. Partly I rushed because I was dying to get away from him and clear my head. But mostly, I was afraid if he pushed me, I'd collapse into his arms and beg him to stay.

I ran ahead, but he wasn't too far behind. He was close enough, in fact, that I could hear the warm welcome of cheers that went through the castle at his entrance. I didn't stick around long enough to listen to the hoorays and happiness as his presence churned up muddier waters within me.

When I stepped into the penthouse moments later, I saw Dark and Dodd there. I told them their boy was back, with an extra added reminder to keep to the storyline. Even knowing the truth of what I considered his betrayal, they practically trampled me to get out the door and get to Cormac as quickly as they could.

The king was home, and apparently, I was the only person who wasn't overjoyed.

Chapter Eight

Long Live the K
ing

"Someone just dropped this off for you," Kever thrust a note at me and rushed past on his way to seek out Cormac.

"Wait! Have you seen Chip and Colleen?"

"Yeah, they're with the Fae doctor. They showed up unconscious on the stoop a few hours ago babbling about giants. She had to sedate them."

"Are they okay?"

"She said they'd be fine." His eyes kept darting down the hallway in the direction of where everyone was heading.

I grabbed the note and told him
, a bit impatiently, to go. He was off before I got another word out.

I fingered the thick paper with a wax seal. Pocketing the note, I hurried back to the penthouse. I'd have some privacy
, since it would take a while for Cormac to make his way through the throng of admirers. I broke the seal but already knew who had written it.

I need to speak with you. Meet me at two a.m. in front of the ruins of New York.

I didn't need a signature, not that he'd bothered. It was from the senator. I also understood he meant the ruins of the casino, not the city. Besides not having any possible way of getting to the east coast in twenty minutes, there were no ruins to mourn the loss of that historic place.

I threw the note into the fireplace, wondering who was to thank for the blazing flames. I grabbed my jacket and left the penthouse without a word to anyone and headed back out into the frigid weather.

When I got there, the senator was standing alone in front of the ruins of a casino that used to be one of the main attractions on the Vegas strip. Wrapped in a black mink, his blond hair cascaded down his back as his gaze wandered over what was left of the building.

"You summoned me?" It wasn't a question so much as a sarcastic statement.

"You know, I didn't want it to be like this." He motioned toward the destruction. "I didn't have a choice." His voice, always cultured, sounded softer than usual. As if he really did regret the chaos he'd wrought, and disliked caring about it even more. "I wouldn't have done it if they'd given me any other choice. But no. There was no speaking to them."

I knew "them" was the Keepers. It was horrible to know he and I shared this link, this mutual regret and responsibility for something so horrific. He might have been the designer but I had completed the plans.

"Why did they banish you?" I waited, wondering if he would reveal what had happened so long ago with the original Keepers. It was a history not even Cormac truly knew.

He let out a long sad sigh before he finally spoke. "They couldn't control me. They thought they could create me and then I would do whatever they wanted. They weren't prepared for me to have my own desires. They wanted me to be a slave. When I wouldn't, they banished me to a dimension that is unfathomable to most humans. Imagine a thousand years among creatures like the rippers and worse. I was doomed to living eternity in a living nightmare." He looked at me, lids lowered. "When someone has a child, shouldn't that child be able to become their own person?"

I didn't want to feel for this creature, whatever he truly was, but I found that I suddenly did. He seemed so human right now, in his beautiful form. Then I remembered Rick and his senseless death at the café, the needless murder just to make a point. The senator played the victim, but I knew better. He killed and took without a qualm. He wasn't the victim.

I didn't have a safe answer and didn't want to get dragged further down the rabbit hole, with its morally confusing twists and turns
, so I changed the subject.

"Did you bring the rippers to this world?"

"No, not I." The corner of his mouth twitched and I knew he was holding back some information.

"What did you want to speak with me about?"

"I've heard Cormac has returned." He gave me his full attention then and the look I saw in his face sent a tremor through me before I could get a hold of my reaction.

Why such rage? What did it matter to him?

"Yes." There was no point in lying. I was sure the spies were quite up to speed after Cormac's grand entrance although it was quite unnerving that he'd found out this quickly. We'd barely just returned.

"How did you know?"

"You think you are the only one I watch?"

"Is that going to cause a problem with our agreement?"

"Why should it?"

He was lying. I involuntarily went to move a step back but stopped myself. I didn't want the senator to know I was aware of his true feelings, or worse, that I feared him. When he didn't continue, I asked, "Is that all you wanted?"

"I know he has sway over you." It was a condemnation.

"You're mistaken. I do exactly what I want." I watched him as he took in my reply. For something wholly inhuman, he had very mortal reactions. His brow furrowed and his eyes seemed to sink deeper. I had a strange feeling, that regardless of what he said, this would be the day I'd mark down on my calendar that our truce had ended. 

He didn't speak again but simply walked off. I watched his back retreat, knowing somewhere deep inside, all hope of peace was disappearing with him.

I sat by the ruins after he left, trying to convince myself I was wrong. When I
couldn’t after an hour, I gave up and headed back to the castle, the feeling of impending doom stronger than ever. I'd almost made it back when the lightning bugs appeared.

"Jo." They sang my name out like usual.

"What are you guys doing out here tonight? Don't you have somewhere warm to bed down?"

"We have to talk to you, Jo."

"What's wrong?" I asked, pausing about a half a block before the castle.

"We're hearing strange things."

"Strange how?" I couldn't wait to find out what would seem odd to talking lightning bugs

"He's coming. Gotta go."

I turned to look but I already knew who they meant.

Cormac was walking toward me with a purposeful stride as the bugs were already zipping down the block. I started walking forward, not toward him but to the castle.

It was impossible not to have him in my vision as he approached from the direction I was headed but I probably would've watched him regardless. Everything about him drew me in. The way he moved jarred loose buried memories. The way his body felt, moving over mine. His hands wrapped around me, pulling me still snugger to him as he had relentlessly drove deeper. His desire stripping down everything I was, all my pretenses, until nothing was left but pure need. Claiming. Being surrounded by the unleashed intensity that was him, normally so controlled, it swallowed me whole as I'd bathed in the force of who he truly was on a primal level.

I'd felt the full force of him, had succumbed to his raw appeal. And I'd relinquished everything I was. I'd laid myself bare to him in those moments
, and he'd accepted and relished in everything I offered.

How do you step back from that? How was I supposed to be near him and be less? I'd let him in and now I didn't know how to keep him out.

I felt the flush of my skin even as I told myself to keep my distance. My brain screamed to stay away but my body, maybe even my soul, craved his nearness.

"Where've you been?" he said as we approached each other. He didn't touch me but stood so close, as only someone intimate would. His eyes moved over my face and then seemed to fixate on my lips.

"Out." It was curter than I'd intended but my emotions were throwing my senses into turmoil.

"I can see that."

I went to move past him; I needed distance. I wasn't ready for this, whatever it was.

He stopped me with a hand on my arm when I would've kept going. "With who?"

"I'm not your concern." I yanked roughly away from him and he let it go.

"Whether you care to acknowledge it or not, everything that happens here is my business. I deserve to be told what is going on."

I'd planned on telling him. He did need to know but his demanding, his strolling back in here after months away, sent my temper into a flare.

"That you gave up. I've been the one keeping things together for the last few months while you ran off to deal with your issues." I made a point of looking him up and down as I said this. "Issues that didn't seem to be much of anything
, from the look of things."

"This is still my place."

I threw my hands up. "You're right. It is. And if I do something that concerns this building, I will make sure to consult with you. But I'm not. My business isn't yours. Stay out of my life. Don't have people keeping tabs on me. And don't worry about how I'm doing. I can take care of myself."

"It doesn't have to be like this. You're overreacting."