"Yeah, yeah. Dylan slipped the poison into my food. I knew I was eating it. That's why I started hurling it up so quick."
"Are you crazy! What did you do that for?" Stasha asked hotly."And why the hell didn't you tell us? We thought you were really dying."
"Gee, I'm sorry to disappoint you," Drew hissed back, growing more tired of her sister's misplaced anger as the day progressed."I didn't tell you because you would have blown it. As to why I did it—three reasons, actually. First, it got me the hell out of the cell. Second, no one's going to expect someone whose just been poisoned to stage a prison break. Third, and this is my favorite one, the guilt factor. Zarco put me in jail, therefore he put me in danger. He has purposely hired guards that hate me, so now they're all suspect, and it pits them against him. Everyone's walking on eggshells, afraid of being accused. We need to get our happy asses in gear and get the hell out of here. I'm thinking we tie a shit load of sheets together and go out one of the second story windows which open onto the city streets. Out there in the streets, that's where our allies are."
"Drew, you're in no condition to make a climb like that," Arcadia reminded.
"We can lower her down first," Dylan said as he worked with Margot tying sheets together.
When they had their make-shift rope, they made their way down the hall and up to the second story with both Drewcila and Arcadia shoved into a laundry cart which they pushed along.
Looking like palace guards, and with no alarm having yet been sounded, they were able to walk through the halls and use the elevator with no one giving them a second look, much less stopping to question why guards were handling the laundry. No doubt they thought it was some new war-time thing that called for the palace staff to do more "double tasking."
Their luck didn't hold. As they exited the elevator on the second floor, the alarm bell was sounded. Dylan looked at his watch. The guards must have gotten back from lunch and noticed that they had a jail full of . . . well, nothing. They started to move a little faster.
Three guards rounded the corner in front of them.
"You there! What have you got in that cart?" Then they all started to run, no doubt having recognized Facto and Stasha, whose faces would have been well known in the castle and to the nobility.
"A pissed-off Valtarian lizard woman," Dylan screamed, raising his laser and firing.
Arcadia erupted from the laundry cart, sending the sheet ropes that had been concealing them all over, and opened fire on the guards
All three fell.
Arcadia and Facto helped Drewcila from the laundry cart as Margot and Dylan gathered up their rope.
They started running again, but when they turned the corner, there blocking the hall was a large troop of guards. When they turned to retrace their steps there was another troop closing behind them.
"Surrender!" a familiar voice said as Zarco waded out of the sea of guards."You're ill, Drewcila, and you're badly out numbered. Put your weapons down." Feeling cocky, he moved still closer to the escapees.
Drewcila glared back at him defiantly."You killed Pristin," she accused.
Zarco looked confused, and Atario moved through the crowd to whisper to the king.
The king nodded, and then said, "You actually expected me to take orders from an ugly blue dwarf with three legs?"
"That wasn't a third leg, you dumb ass!" Drew hissed. She flung her head wildly.
"I'm giving you one chance to surrender, then I'm going to order my men to open fire."
"You shouldn't threaten me, Zarco. You should never threaten me. NOW!"
She fired her weapon, putting a bolt through the nearest guard's head as Arcadia slapped out with her tail, taking Zarco's feet out and sending him falling right into Dylan's waiting arms. Dylan quickly twisted the king's arm behind his back with one hand, and held a blaster to his head with the other.
Drew laughed maniacally."Now who's winning? Back the fuck up, all you flunky-nobility pieces of shit! The common folks will always kick your asses, and do you know why?" she asked Atario, who only shook his head silently."Because the poor have nothing to do to pass the time but fuck, so there are always going to be more of them. And because they're always going to be trying to get all the cool shit you have."
Zarco glared at Drew."Drewcila, I demand . . ."
"Zarco, darling," Drewcila drawled, "you really should have gone for the flowers. We are way past the point of you demanding anything from me. Gee! You give a guy the best years of your life and a big chunk of your brain, and how does he repay you? By locking you up." She looked at the guards as a group again."Now I'm going to tell you one more time.
Back the fuck off!
"
They did then. As a group they ran down the hall in the opposite direction.
"Pick a door, any door on the right side of the hall," Drew said. Her vision was blurred, and she was having trouble keeping up, even with Facto and Arcadia all but carrying her.
Jurak swung a door open on the right side of the hall, and they ran in, slamming it behind them and locking it. Then Jurak, Stasha and Margot moved a huge dresser in front of it just for good measure.
Dylan set the king roughly in a chair."Don't move." He picked up another chair and slung it into the window. It bounced off and started careening around the room.
"What the hell!" Dylan screamed, barely jumping out of the way in time.
"The windows are made of bullet proof glass," Facto said.
"You might try just opening it, moron," Drew said in disbelief. She swung her head around to look at Facto."I feel like a bad death warmed up. How do I look?"
"Not much better, I'm afraid," Facto said, smiling at her fondly.
"Listen, all of you!" Zarco screamed.
"Screw him and get that fucking window open now," Drew ordered. Then turned to Zarco, "You just shut up and look pretty. We wouldn't be in this mess right now if you'd remembered that in the first place. Everything was just fine as long as I did all the thinking, and you did all the sitting around looking pretty crap."
When Dylan couldn't seem to get the window open, Jurak went to help him. It wasn't budging.
"People, this is high treason. If you release me at once . . ."
"Actually, it would be high treason," Facto walked away from Drew, leaving Arcadia to hold her up alone, "if we were defying
both
the king and the queen, or if we were doing something to destroy the country. But the only one who has defied the queen and done anything to destroy this country lately has been you." Facto's voice had risen in volume and in pitch."So indeed I say that when the history books are written, and they talk of this day, it shall be
you
who is remembered as a traitor."
"Wow! Ol' Fucktoe's really pissed," Drew whispered to Arcadia, who just nodded.
"It's stuck," Dylan announced.
"Then blast it. Come on, we're running out of time," Drew ordered.
"It's bullet proof. I'm assuming that means laser proof," Dylan said looking at her like she was a moron.
"The fucking window seals are wood. Try blasting those, dumb ass."
"Oh, yeah." Dylan started firing his laser at the wood frame as someone started pounding on the door.
"We will give you exactly five minute to release the king, and then we will break the door down," Atario said from outside.
"Oh, God! Please don't do that! I love that door. Please, father, pray for the door," Drew whined back."Gee! All we have is your king, and you have our door. Whatever shall we do?"
"The doors are also bullet proof, and the locks are made of Taligite steel. They can stand against anything," Facto reported.
Then they heard Atario scream."Get a battering ram and knock it down!"
"Except maybe that," Facto said.
"Battering ram. That's a damn good idea," Drew said thoughtfully as she looked around the room. Her eyes landed on a large trunk."Dylan. Jurak. Grab that trunk and use it to batter the window. Maybe now that you have weakened the sill it will bust out."
They grabbed the trunk and started pounding on the window at the same time as the guards started pounding on the door.
Stasha, Margot and Facto worked at moving still more furniture in front of the door.
"Stasha, surely you . . ." Zarco started.
Stasha looked at him and shook her head no."After what you did to me and with my sister, the Whore of the Spaceways . . ."
"Wow! I've got another title," Drew said, letting her head bob up and down.
Stasha more or less ignored Drewcila as she continued glaring at Zarco."I'm the last person you ought to be asking for any kind of help."
Zarco moved as if to get up, and Arcadia's laser leveled on him, "Ugh," she said. He sat back down.
The window popped out just as the door made a cracking sound.
"Tie the sheets to the footboard of the bed, and let's go," Drew ordered.
Dylan tied off the sheets, and threw the end of their rope out the window."Man, like we made way too much rope, dudes."
"Better too much than not enough I always say," Drew said with a smile, looking at Zarco with meaning.
"Drewcila . . . you had better listen to me . . ."
"Don't bother me right now, Zarco, I'm trying to remember something important. One last thing I have to do before I go. Now what was it? Oh, yeah! I remember." She turned to glare at Zarco."Kill you." She leveled her blaster on him."You killed my friend, cheated on my sister, and had me thrown into jail. I can't just let it slide."
"Drewcila, no!" Stasha screamed. The bolt hit Zarco in the leg instead of the chest, and he let out a scream of pain.
"Damn! My aim must be off," Drew started to re-aim, and Stasha grabbed her arm.
"Drew, don't kill him," Stasha pleaded with tears in her eyes.
"Damn! There is just no pleasing some people. First it's don't screw him, and now it's don't kill him. I wish you'd make up your mind what it is you want." Drew watched him writhing around the floor in pain, and decided it was good enough for now. Stasha ran to his side and tried to help him."All right, I'll let him live, but don't ask me for any favors for awhile."
The door made another cracking noise."Drew, we have to go," Arcadia said. Margot and Dylan were already on the ground, and Facto was well on his way.
"You next, Stasha," Drew said.
"Don't you dare order me around," Stasha screamed up at Drew, tears streaming down her face.
"Go out the fucking window on our little sheet rope that Margot and Dylan worked so hard on, or I'm going to throw you out the window and use you as a landing pad for my fat ass. Now go!"
"You'll be all right, Zarco," Stasha promised. Then she got up, ran to the window, and with Jurak's help started down the rope.
"Drewcila . . . I'll make you pay for this!" Zarco screamed.
"You're pushing it, Zarco," Drew hissed back."My sister's gone now, and there is nothing at all to stop me burning a hole right through your freaked out brain. Then I'll be queen." She laughed maniacally. Arcadia dragged her to where Jurak had hauled the rope back up. They tied it around her, just under her shoulders, and then quickly lowered her to the ground. By the time they had done this, the guards were almost through the door.
"You go," Arcadia ordered abruptly.
"No, you . . . I'll be fine."
Arcadia didn't argue with him. As the door and its barricade started to move, she shimmied over the sill and down the rope.
They had determined that the rope probably wouldn't hold more than one of them at a time, so Jurak reached quickly into his pocket, pulled out his silly hat, and stuck it on his head. Then just as the door and barricade noisily gave way, almost drowning the din of his monarch's cries of agony, he went out the window and down the rope only a few feet behind Arcadia. The rope gave a little, but didn't break. As they both reached the ground safely, Dylan hurried them away from the rope and shot the top of it with his laser. The rope fell in flames to the ground. Jurak and Arcadia helped Drewcila, and together they ran as fast and as far into the city as they could get.
The door broke, and there was enough room for one man to squeeze past. From inside they could hear someone screaming in pain, and while they'd heard the argument between the queen and her sister and knew Zarco had been wounded, they couldn't be sure that he was alone.
Atario pulled his laser and looked at the others."Stay here. We don't know what we might face. I may be able to negotiate."
The guards all nodded. Though it was no doubt more because they were glad to be staying out here away from danger than because they thought Atario had a good idea—or even that they understood. There was something that Atario hadn't considered when he had talked the king into changing members of the palace guard for members of the nobility. The nobility were a bunch of out of shape desk slugs who had no training or natural ability for the job. They were ready to pull a trigger, but they weren't really ready to actually get hurt, and now that several of them had easily been killed by the queen and her rabble, they were less and less willing to put themselves in the actual line of fire.