"You . . . you don't remember anything!" Zarco accused.
"No wait, wait," she turned and snuffed her cigar out on the bedside table."I'm remembering something," she turned back around to face him."You've always been an egotistical, pompous little ass, haven't you?"
"I swear to the gods, Drewcila, you have gone too far this time." Zarco jumped from his bed, grabbed his robe, and slung it on.
"Yeah, all the way. I figure you owe me . . ."
"Did this mean nothing to you?"
"Now I need a bath," she said with a shrug."Come on baby, there's no sense in getting all tense now, sit down and let mama rub your shoulders." He sat down, obviously against his better judgment, and she started to rub his shoulders."Now listen . . . I have something you want," she licked the side of his neck, "don't I?"
"Yes," he said shuddering.
"And you have the power to give me what I want."
"Drewcila . . . I thought I made myself very clear. I am not going to trade my kingdom for sex with my own wife," Zarco said.
"Come on . . . why the hell not? You're screwing the country now. You could stop screwing them, and start screwing me. Seems like more than a fair trade."
"Why must you be so crude? Why must everything be attached to some sort of deal? Is it impossible for you to even try to embrace the idea that I love you? That you once loved me? Must everything with you be made into a commodity?"
"In order: because no one respects a polite salvager; all of life is a deal; you simply aren't my type; I tend to go for exotics; and yes."
He moved out of her grasp, stood up, and turned to look at her."I thought the worst day of my life was when the Lockhedes stole you away from me, but now I realize that the worst day of my life was when I brought you back. You have destroyed me and brought the kingdom into an age of shame and degradation."
"Yay, me!" Drewcila got out of bed then, and started putting on her clothes.
"Where do you think you're going?" Zarco demanded.
"To the kitchen to get something to eat. I could stroll down the hall buck-naked if you like . . ."
"You aren't going anywhere. Nowhere, until I have undone what those Lockhede bastards did to you . . ."
"See . . . that ordering me around like I'm one of the servants thing that you're doing? That's not a big turn on for me." She finished pulling her coveralls on, but didn't Velcro them shut."Now . . . I'm going to go to the kitchen to get something to eat, and when I get back, if you've been a good boy, we can do it again." Drewcila turned on her heel and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind her.
Drew quickly went to the kitchen and made herself a sandwich. Then, carefully checking to make sure she wasn't being followed, she made her way to Zarco's office and entered easily. She munched on the sandwich as she started to hack into his computer.
"Drewcila!"
Startled, she turned to see Zarco standing in the doorway.
"Where is the trust?" she asked in mock despair.
"Just what do you think you're doing?"
"What the hell do you think I think I'm doing? I'm trying to find out how I can undermine all your plans and take over the country again." She stood up and slunk across the room towards him."But, as long as you're here foiling my plans . . ." Before she could reach him, two guards entered the room.
"Grab her," Zarco ordered.
"Kinky," Drewcila cooed. The guards rushed her. She dodged them half a dozen times before they finally grabbed her. Her evasion had been mostly for her own amusement. There was no sense in putting up a fight. She couldn't beat every guard in the palace."I overplayed my hand, didn't I? You know what the problem is? I'm fairly good with bullshit, but when it comes to being as disgustingly nice as I need to be to have you eating out of my hand . . . Well, I just flat can't stomach it."
"Search her. Unless I'm mistaken, she's armed."
"Well of course I am! I'd look silly with four legs."
They found the small laser she had hidden in the cuff of her pants. Then they pulled her hat from her pocket and held it up.
"Keep it. God only knows what it is," Zarco ordered.
"For shit's sake, it's a stupid hat, and I need it," she cried in mock anguish."Take my weapon if you must, but please, please don't take my stupid hat!"
"Take her to the dungeon and throw her into a cell . . . alone."
They started dragging her away, and she made them
drag
her, too. She turned to glare at Zarco as they hauled her away."You know, Zarco, honey, flowers would have been more appropriate."
They pulled her down to the dungeon, threw her into a cell, and locked the door."How quaint," she said looking at the metal bars in front of her. The guards started walking away, seeming to pay little if any attention to her remark."Yeah, well! Expect to hear from my lawyer, Jacko!" She yelled at their backs."Stupid bastards have no respect for my royal ass. Well, they'll be sorry."
"Drewcila?" a familiar voice called out from the shadows.
"Is that you, God?" Drew answered back, looking up and around.
"It's Drew, all right," Stasha's voice said.
Drew's eyes adjusted to the dim light, and she could make out her sister, Facto, and Margot in the cell across from her.
"Are we ever glad to see you," Facto said.
"Because you think I deserve to be behind bars?" Drew asked sarcastically.
"We were afraid . . . Well, that they might kill you outright," Facto said."Zarco has gone quite mad."
"Yeah, and he's pissed off, too."
"Are you all right?" Facto asked.
"Let's see . . . I'm locked in an antiquated dungeon, and across from me are the only people on this planet who might have actually helped me. Wait, and let me think . . . Do you know what 'well duh' means?"
"I meant are you physically injured?" Facto asked with concern.
"No. Apart from the effects of the aftermath of really horrible sex, I'm physically fine."
Stasha heard what she said, knew what Drew had proposed, and jumped to all the right conclusions. She ran to the bars and glared at her sister.
"Did you sleep with Zarco?"
"Gee, and all I had to say was lousy sex . . ."
"You had sex with Zarco!" Stasha hissed.
"I consider sex to be more enjoyable than that. In fact, I consider a root canal to be less tedious."
"Did you have sex with Zarco?" Stasha asked accusingly.
"If that's what you want to call it . . ."
"Yes or no!"
"Hey! Don't think I enjoyed it. I did it to try and save the kingdom . . ."
"You did it to try and save your money," Stasha snapped.
"That, too."
"You know how I feel about him, and you slept with him anyway."
"All right, Stasha. I'm not even going to tell you how insane it is that you're pissed off because I fucked my husband. Who, by the way, apparently had your happy ass thrown into jail!" She screamed the last part.
"He . . . he's distraught. He needs help," Stasha defended.
"He's an inbred mother fucking nut job, who needs serious sexual counseling," Drew said. Then she walked over and flopped on the wooden bed. It had been a long damn day. As if to snuff out yet one more reasonable plan, Jurak was brought into the dungeon and slung into the cell with the others.
"Hey! Hold up there, butt boys," she yelled to the guards, who turned to face her."How come they all get to be together, but I have to be alone in a separate cell?"
"Whore that you are, I imagine the king feels safer if there is no one for you to have sex with."
"My point exactly. How do you expect me to pass the time of day?"
"Shut up, Queen of Whores! The king may still find some worth in you, but the rest of us certainly do not. Your life hangs in the balance."
Drewcila took a good long look at the man's face, but said nothing.
"What?" he demanded.
"Oh, excuse me. Was I staring? I never actually saw a being talk with his sphincter before."
"Why, you!" he rushed forward, but the other guard grabbed his arm.
"Come on, she's purposely trying to make you mad. It's some trick."
The other guard grumbled, but they both left.
"I shall never forgive you for this, Drewcila," Stasha screamed at her."Never!"
"For what? Trying to piss the guards off?"
"You know for what! I swear you are the biggest harlot in the universe." Stasha turned on her heel and walked away, moving to stand in the corner so that she wouldn't have to see her sister.
"It's nice to see you again, too, sis," Drew spat back. She looked at Jurak and shrugged."A clear cut case of sibling rivalry. You have to forgive her. It couldn't be easy to be the younger sister of an overachiever."
They all went about the day's work, seeming to hardly notice the landing of the craft or the arrival of new brothers and sisters as they toiled in the fields moving their loads of rocks. The ship would stay for only a few short hours, then after it had cooled down and re-powered to optimum, it would launch. Except this time it wouldn't be carrying a load of worthless rocks, and it would have a different Captain and crew.
After much thought, they had decided against rushing the ship shortly after landfall, which had been their initial plan. Van Gar had instead decided on a more subtle approach. One with the element of surprise and a lot less risk. They would wait until they were supposed to load the ship. At this point the pilot and crew usually left the ship to stretch their legs and go to the pilots' lounge which was stocked with actual real food and drinks. They knew this because about two days ago they had broken in there and eaten and drunk it all.
Twenty Chitzskies followed the ten man flight crew to the lounge as Van Gar and those who would be going with him made their way to the ship. The twenty Chitzskies descended on the flight crew just as they learned the place had been cleaned out, and before the fighting had stopped Van Gar and the others had boarded the ship.
Van Gar quickly closed the hatches. They all got as secure as the ship would allow them to get, and then without so much as a glance out the port at the planet they were leaving, they lifted off.
As always, reaching escape velocity was less than pleasant, but not any more so than the thought of having to swill down even one more bowl of glop.
As they broke from the planet's gravitational pull, Van Gar felt reborn. He was in space again, piloting a ship. This was where he belonged. Step one of his plan was complete, and they were well on their way to implementing step two. Or would be as soon as he knew what that was.
"You don't understand, Stasha," Drew cried in anguish."My life has been left in tattered ruins. When Van Gar left me . . . he took a little piece of my soul." She covered her face with her hands and just sobbed.
"So . . . are you really upset, or just putting on a show so that I will forgive your atrocious behavior?" Stasha asked without emotion.
"What? What's atrocious mean?" Drew sniffed.
"Very bad," Stasha answered.
"All right, you caught me." Drew removed her hands from her face and straightened herself."Damn! I used to be so good at this shit, too."
"I will never forgive you for this, Drew. Do you hear me? Never!" Stasha hissed at her sister, and through both sets of bars and across the hallway that divided them, Drew still got slapped with little bits of spittle.
She made a great show of wiping the spit from her face."All right, that's like the fifteenth time you've said it, so I'm guessing that you're never going to forgive me . . . So, now it's your turn to listen to me. All this 'Drew-bad-for-sleeping-with-Zarco,'
is really
not the big issue here. The entire castle has been taken over by the nobility, who, by the way, not only hate me, but hate the entire system of government and commerce that I have put into place. They have detonated an anti-communications device and basically blacked us out from the rest of the universe. For how long, I have no idea, but there's basically nothing to stop them from doing it again as soon as the systems fix themselves. Oh, and if that's not bad enough, we are all in jail, and no one but the people who want to keep us here know we're here! So you can quit blowing the whole my-sleeping-with-Zarco thing all out of proportion at any time now. After all, it's not like I'd never screwed him before, and he's possibly the most boring lover I've ever gone to sleep under, so . . ."
"Drewcila, have you learned nothing from what happened with Van Gar?" Stasha demanded.
Drew glared back at her sister and thought about it for a second."Yes, I learned that the people you care about will always let you down, but that Salvage won't."