Read Real Vampires Don't Diet Online

Authors: Gerry Bartlett

Tags: #Horror & Ghost Stories

Real Vampires Don't Diet (11 page)

"Thanks for the rescue. I'll see who's been calling." Obviously Randy was not
her
significant other. I got up and headed for the front door, pushing past three other women and two of the band members, including Dex. He managed to cop a feel before Valdez showed some teeth and encouraged him to forget it. I sent a mental message for Valdez to quit growling and come with me. This might be a good time to check outside for blood donors. I found my purse on the marble-topped table near the front door.

Valdez looked over his shoulder to make sure none of the band or their women were nearby. Fortunately they were all back in front of the wide-screen with the surround sound turned up full blast.

"Bet it's Blade calling from Europe. Hope he got there all right."
Valdez stood with his back to me, to make sure no one came up to within listening range. As far as the band was concerned, I was Ray's girlfriend. We'd planned to stage a breakup as soon as Ray felt comfortable going vampire on his own. Neither one of us had any idea when that would be. This latest incident was certainly a setback.

I checked my messages. Two from my former roommate, Florence da Vinci.

First message: "Glory, I've been robbed." Sounds of sobbing. "I must talk to my best friend. Call me." I hit speed dial. No answer. Damn. I hurriedly listened to her second message.

"Ricardo has calmed me down. He says to tell you I am fine, which I'm not. But at least my body is fine. Anyway, he is making me feel a little better by taking me on a short honeymoon to an island in the middle of one of the lakes near here. So he can be sweet when he isn't a bullying" I heard sounds of a scuffle and some Italian curses.

"Glory, Florence is being her usual dramatic self. She needs to talk to you, but we'll be gone a couple of nights. She'll call you when we get back. Trust me, this is not an emergency." Richard, Flo's husband, obviously knew how to handle my former roomie. Amazing. I heard her giggle in the background. Then the call ended. Hmm. Well at least she was okay. Now to check on the calls from Jerry. There were three messages from him. He'd made
it
across the Atlantic, thank God. And had spent the day in Paris. With Mara? He left out that tiny detail. Not that he would want to be with her. I knew better, in my head, at least. But there was this stupid knee-jerk jealousy thing I had where the woman was concerned. She was so obvious in her pursuit of my guy. I hated her.

Hearing his voice made me realize how much I missed him. Sure he could be overprotective, but right now, with the Aggie threat and Ray still flat on his back and depending on me, I felt the weight of all that responsibility, big-time. Even with an ocean between us, he was still taking care of me.

"Watch your back, Gloriana. I've heard that Westwood's jet left Europe yesterday heading for Texas. I don't know if he was on it, but keep Valdez with you." Brent Westwood. A vamp hunter with me at the top of his "get" list. Swell, that's all I needed right now.

I replayed Jerry's messages twice, just to hear his voice, then realized he might still be awake over there. No luck. I bet I sounded as frustrated as he had.

"Jerry, I'm okay, but I miss you already. I'm sorry I was crabby about your leaving. I hope you find Lily and bring her back so I can get to know her. I'll figure out this time-difference thing and try to call you again later. Love you." I ended the call then dropped the phone back in my purse. I picked up the leash I carried for show and turned to Valdez.

"Now we need to go out and find a nice clean source for me to drink from."

"Are you kidding me?"
Valdez looked shocked as he faced me.
"Since when do you drink from mortals? First Nathan,
now you're going hunting for
strangers?"

"Ray needs to be fed again. His voice is still wonky." I knew I sounded defensive, but it was only the truth. Unfortunately, it was also the truth that I'd made a big deal out of never drinking from mortals. Had looked down on those vampires who hunted humans instead of drinking synthetics like I did. It's kind of the vampire version of going green. I threw up a block so Valdez couldn't read my mind. Forget green. Right now I couldn't think of anything but red. The taste of Nathan's real, warm, human blood lingered on my tongue and in my system, as delicious and addictive in its way as Ray's Jack Daniel's probably was to him. I wanted more, more of the real deal. And had a feeling that even if Ray had suddenly burst into full-throated song upstairs, I might have manufactured an excuse to hunt anyway.

This was bad. I've known for decades that I have an addictive personality. Sessions with Gamblers Anonymous had taught me that. But right now I couldn't just slip back into the kitchen and twist the top off a bottle of one of Ray's specially marked bottles of "Health Drink." Will had to keep them locked in a special minifridge in the walk-in pantry next to the bar because anything offlimits in this house was like a magnet to Ray's band members. They were convinced Ray had some kind of special drug in his private label brew. I'd be jumped if I walked out with a bottle. And I didn't want it anyway. I turned the dead bolt on the front door. "Come on. Do your bodyguard thing. I need to find someone who's not polluted like these people inside." We reached the end of the driveway and I pushed the button to open the iron gate. Lights flashed and a reporter came at me.

"Glory! Why are you leaving? Did you and Ray have a fight? Give me the scoop." The man took another picture. "What's with the dog? Are you walking him? How about a picture of the two of you together? What's his name? Can you spell it for me? Is he named after a former lover?"

I looked into the man's eyes and put him under the whammy, then took a whiff. Ordinary blood type but something off there, smoker with bad lungs. Didn't want his blood. Not good enough for Ray. I gave him a mental suggestion that he needed to leave and write an article for
Dog Fancy
magazine. It would be about celebrities' girlfriends and their dogs. He could use this picture of me and my cute Labradoodle. I even spelled Valdez's name for him. Then I snapped the photographer out of it and watched him take off.

I was hoping I'd run into that AB-negative granny, but there wasn't a single woman waiting outside the house tonight. Hmm. Was Ray losing his touch? Maybe the Sienna Star thing
had
been a smart move.

And speaking of I almost bumped into two men waiting for what they hoped was a chance to see the sexy Miss Star. Internet blogs claimed she was arriving at Ray's tonight. I put them under the whammy, sniffed them both and decided the cutest one would do for Ray's blood donor. I dragged them into the bushes out of sight of the street while Valdez kept watch. My dog paced impatiently until I took what I needed. Then I gave the guys the name of the hotel I knew Nathan used for visitors to Austin and sent them on their way.

"Feel better now?"
Valdez trotted ahead of me as we headed back to the house.
"The way you were goin' at it, I'm
surprised you left the guy able to walk to his car."

"I"

"There she is, Wilson. Hit her with both barrels, and watch out for that dog." A blast of water almost knocked me off my feet. "Listen, if you're trying to get a picture for one of those gossip rags, you just blew it big-time." I wiped wet hair out of my eyes and felt Valdez press against my legs, his body vibrating as he growled.

"I thought vampires couldn't stand holy water. She didn't even fall down. Blast her again, Wilson." A tall man stepped out of the shadows, his water gun, a high-powered one, aimed at my face. Before I could cover my eyes, he hit me a hard one right between the eyes.

"Throw the net, Sam."

"Now I'm pissed. Except for a shower or bath, I hate water and I've been nothing but wet since I got here. Back off." I felt the glide of my fangs as they extended. These guys had picked the wrong lady to mess with. I was about to leap when the guy named Sam tried to toss a silver-mesh net over my wet head.

I caught it in midair. "I swear to God I'm going to write a book
How
Not
to Catch a Vampire"
I held the heavy net in front of me. "But this is cool." I admired the way the silver links glittered in the moonlight. Valdez snarled and the men jumped back a foot, both of them giving him short blasts with what seemed to be state-of-the-art water cannons, complete with holsters. I decided I'd have to confiscate both of them. Flo and I could have some fun with those. Just let Jerry or Richard complain if we took too long getting dressed to go out.

"Hey, Valdez, this is a nice piece, sterling links. It'll look cute with my black leather mini." I tied it around my hips.

"Uh. Glory, I think they got one thing right. "

"Hmm?" I looked up from trying to knot my new accessory and saw Wilson and Sam coming at me armed with ugly-looking stakes. "Well, what are you waiting for, Valdez? Let's kick some butt."

"My pleasure."
Valdez turned and leaped, a blur of fur as he landed on one of the men. This wasn't going to be easy. Both guys had on body armor withcan you believe it?Kevlar turtlenecks. The way Sam was waving that stake around, I wished I had on my own Kevlar, though my wet T-shirt was proving a nifty distraction. I knocked Sam back with a sharp kick to the stomach. He hit a black SUV, then went down hard but jumped back up again. We circled each other, me dodging that stake until I managed to pop him a good one with my right foot. This time when he hit the ground, I threw my arm across his well-padded neck. "Who are you? What do you want?"

"The last person you'll ever see, vampire. And I want you dead."

The wooden stake pricked my side and I gasped at the pain. Damn, that hurt. I pressed down, a little padding no match for my vamp strength, especially when I'm aggravated. The man's eyes rolled back in his head, the stake slipped from his fingers and he passed out. I picked up the stake and tossed it about a hundred feet away.

I could hear Valdez snapping and barking and looked over to see the man he'd attacked sprawled on the concrete. He was bleeding and unconscious but still breathing. Valdez looked ready to finish him.

"Stop. Don't kill him. I want to know who these guys are. How they knew I was vampire."

"No mystery there. Check out the SUV over there, Blondie. When you knocked Sam into it, a black film fell down."
Valdez backed up, but never took his eyes off the man in front of him.

They'd come in a WD company vehicle. They'd been sent by my old nemesis, vampire hunter Brent Westwood. He'd made his billions in computers and the SUV had the logo of Westwood Digital, one of his companies. Westwood figured vampires were less than human and stalking and killing them a public service. I was surprised they'd made the feeble attempt to disguise the logo. No need to be secretive about it. A vampire sure couldn't go to local authorities and complain or press charges, now could she?

"I'll bet he thought I'd be weak from that stuff he's been selling me and I'd be an easy get." Because he hates vampires and me in particular, Westwood had taken over the company where I'd ordered my synthetic blood and sent me a substitute that had left me pretty much powerless. Fortunately, I'd figured out what was wrong and switched brands, but I'd let Westwood think I was still drinking his weak swill.

"So he sent his thugs to pick you up. I bet he didn't want either one of them to off you but wanted to do the honors
himself."

"Sure, he always was a hands-on vamp hunter." I saw the man I'd laid out start to stir and jumped on top of him before Valdez could do it. "Listen, a-hole. Tell your boss that Glory St. Clair is not going to die tonight or ever. That if he sends any more of his people after me, they'll be shipped back to him in tiny gift boxes, piece by piece." I snarled and showed my fangs. The guy under me stiffened in horror. I hadn't survived this long without picking up a few intimidation skills. Fortunately, I hadn't had to trot them out in a while.

"Your buddy over there needs to go to the emergency room. Tell them he got tangled up in barbed wire while putting up fence on his ranch."

"But they'll see the dog bites."

"Then he ran into a pack of rabid coyotes on the back forty. He'll have to take some shots, but don't you dare blame pit bulls. We like dogs around here." I glanced at Valdez. "And don't come back. If Westwood is smart, he'll stay the hell away from Austin. You got all that?"

The man nodded frantically.

"And get this. You can wrap your throat." I picked up his wrist. "But I can still drain you here." I glanced down. "Or maybe I'd just rip off your dick and take your blood down there. Believe me, it wouldn't be a pleasure for you." The man was wild-eyed and bucked under me. "But you're not my type." I bit into his wrist, drew enough blood to scare the hell out him, then spit it on the ground.

"You do exactly as I just said with your injured friend or I w
ill
come after you. I've got your taste now. I can find you wherever you go. And my friend here has your buddy's blood on his tongue. You disappoint us and you won't live another twenty-four hours. Now give me those squirt guns, holsters too." I stood and wiped my hands on my shorts. I waited until I had both guns and holsters in front of me, then watched the man scramble to drag his cohort into the SUV. He practically popped a wheelie tearing out of there.

"Good job, Blondie. You okay? He got you with that stake and you're bleeding. How do you feel? "
I lifted up Ray's T-shirt, which now had a jagged tear in it. "It's already healing. Don't worry about it. Did you see me go after that guy? Can I kick butt or what? Hah!" The scrape did hurt. Vamps have almost an allergy to wood when they're poked like that. But when it's not a stake through the heart, no big deal. And I was pumped. I grabbed my new toys and carried them toward the house.

"Yeah, you were awesome. Now wait here while I make sure the pair of paparazzi who're trying to make it down the hill
with the video of both of us kicking butt don't send it to YouTube or MTV."
Valdez pushed me toward the door until I was standing under the front porch light.

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