As she moved around on the makeshift bed on the floor, because the room was used for Shirley’s clothes and shoes, she wished she were back at home.
“I wish she were dead! I wish she were dead! I wish she were dead!” Harmony chanted over and over. She wanted nothing more than to laugh over her mother’s grave and she prayed for the day her wish would come true.
“Harmony! What you doin’ in here?” Estelle asked entering the room. She wiped the sweat from her brow and held the door open.
“Oh…uh…nothin’, mama.” Harmony shot up straight.
Estelle knew something else was on her mind so she walked into the room and sat on Harmony’s makeshift bed. What she was really trying to do was catch her breath from all the running around Shirley had her doing.
“Sit down with me.” Harmony sat. “You’re still mad at me, aren’t you?” Tears welled up in Harmony’s eyes but she didn’t want to admit to her feelings. “Don’t worry. You can tell me the truth.” She said softly. “You blame me for what happened to your father…don’t you?”
Harmony nodded and whispered, “Yes…I’m still mad.”
An angry disposition took over Estelle and she slapped Harmony in the face. She already knew how Harmony felt but wanted her to lie. She wanted somebody, anybody to be on her side and she hated Harmony for not choosing to be that person.
“Well come out here with me!” Estelle stood up and Harmony rose too. “I done told everybody how pretty you are and they can’t even see you.”
“Here comes the fake shit,” Harmony said under her breath, following behind her mother.
“What you say?” Estelle asked turning around.
Harmony stopped in her tracks, wondering if she could have heard her over Diana Ross’ song, “Do You Know Where You’re Going”, blasting over the speakers in the living room.
“Nothin’, mama. I didn’t say nothin’.” She said still stewing over the slap.
“Well come on then, I need you to help me put the snacks on the table. Them niggas done damn near ate us out of house and home! What kind of shit is that anyway? Half of them bastards ain’t even bring shit.”
Harmony didn’t know what her mother wanted from her, but she had no intentions of chiming in on her complaints. She had problems of her own and they all involved Estelle.
Harmony followed Estelle to the kitchen and they each grabbed a plate filled with cheeses and crackers, when the doorbell rang.
“Somebody gonna get the door?!” Yelled Estelle. Her hands were full and she wasn’t in the mood to be running to the door, and trying to replenish the food table at the same time.
“Yeah, you!” Shirley yelled, half drunk. “Now hurry up for who ever out there leaves! And bring me some more gin!” A cigarette burned in an ashtray next to her and the leather bound phonebook she carried everywhere sat on her lap.
“Fuck.” She said under her breath.
“You want me to put the stuff on the table, mama?” Harmony asked standing behind her with the platter directly below her chin. The smells of cheese wafted in her nose and stank.
“No! Follow me to this door first. I wanna show you where I want everything to go before you fuck shit up.” Harmony looked at her with an evil glare on her face.
Estelle walked slowly to the door trying not to drop the food. Balancing the tray in one hand, she opened the door with the other. Outside there was a beautiful Spanish woman standing before her with hate in her eyes. Estelle recognized her, immediately.
“What…are you doing here?”
“You ruined his life, you jealous bitch!” Wearing gloves, Irma Cruz raised the .45 she was carrying and blasted half of Estelle’s face off.
When her body dropped, Irma saw Harmony standing behind her, brain matter all about her face and fluffy green dress. Hearing the gun blast, Harmony’s face held an evil stare, one that Irma would never forget.
“
I...I…I’m sorry, Harmony! Please forgive me.” Irma dropped the gun and took off running.
The Promise
6 Months Later
Six-year-old Harmony lay on the floor with the door closed. Her favorite large teddy bear lie under her body. Using its nose, the largest and firmest part of the teddy, she rubbed her vagina over and over on the stuffed animal’s face. Like many young children, she had already discovered masturbation. And felt all kinds of chills run through her body before her uncle Charles came into the room and ruined it all.
“Harmony, what are you doing?” He said softly, closing the door behind him.
Charles was a handsome man with deep-set eyes and dark chocolate skin. Yet his winning smile hid his sly and cunning ways. He had gotten out of prison for raping and killing his baby girl and already he was up to his usual tricks while staying with his mother.
“Oh…uh…nothing, uncle Charles. I was just…uh…just.” Harmony jumped up.
Charles smiled and walked deeper into the room. “I know what you were doing, and it’s okay.”
“You not going to tell nana are you?” Harmony asked with wide eyes.
“No. I’m not. It’ll be our little secret. But I want you to do something for me, too.” He paused. “And I’ll teach you everything you need to know.
Harmony didn’t have a positive woman in her life, to talk to about what was happening. She was young, vulnerable and afraid and Charles preyed on every minute. After a while, he managed to convince her that it was okay to explore her body, just as long as she explored it with him.
Many days later, Harmony sat still in the room, with her nose pressed firmly against the cold dirty window, staring at Jace. Life at Shirley’s had become unbearable. Charles had just left her room and molested her again, telling her had she not explored her body on her own, he would not be doing those things to her. And that it was all her fault. She believed him. She could still feel his hot breath against her ear, and his rough calloused hands all over her young body. If only she could befriend Jace, who her uncle forbade her to speak to, life might be worth living.
"Harmony! Come here!" Her nana yelled from the bathroom. Harmony stole one last look at Jace before seeing what Shirley wanted. Ever since Estelle went and got herself killed, a blessing Harmony was grateful for, Shirley treated her like a slave and it pissed her off. "Harmony, don’t make me call you again!"
She looked at the bathroom door where Shirley was and thought about ignoring her. But the last time she did that, Shirley punished her for the entire weekend by making her stay in her room. Charles took full advantage of that time, too by fondling her every day of her punishment.
“You got your welfare check already, Lola?” Shirley said in the bathroom on the phone to her friend. “Well let me see if mine here, too.”
"Yes, nana." Harmony said, standing at the open bathroom door. Steam crept from the tub and carried with it the smell of soap, dirty pussy and cigarettes.
"Bitch, what took you so long to answer me?" She asked.
"I didn’t hear you." She lied.
"I see you gonna make me start puttin’ my hands on you. Where is Charles?”
“
He went to the store.”
“
Well go outside and get my mail. I’m expectin’ my welfare check. Lola already done got hers.”
"Okay, nana." She said in a sweet voice, although rolling her eyes when she wasn’t looking.
With a chance to see Jace's honey colored skin, curly hair and cool disposition, she grabbed her coat, bolted out of the door and ran down the steps. The cold air attacked her body because it was the middle of December. Out of the corner of her eyes she could see the way Jace’s wavy hair shined under the winter sun and couldn’t get over how cute he was. Kali, the neighborhood menace was out there, too. Jace Sherrod was cut from the same cloth as Harmony, they both grew up in lavish homes headed by notorious drug dealers. He was speaking to Brittany, the neighborhood freaky girl. Harmony wondered if Brittany was doing all of the things to Jace her uncle had taught her to do to him. She felt if she could be friends with Jace, she could make him feel good like she did her uncle, and maybe he would like her more.
After grabbing the mail, she slowly walked back up the steps with her back-faced to Jace. She was hoping he'd see her and call her name, before she was forced to speak first. Maybe the kiss they shared, when their fathers gambled one night, would reenter his mind like it did hers. But when he remained silent, giving Brittany his undivided attention, she knew she'd have to speak first.
Turning toward him, her back faced the door, she said, "Hey, Jace." And waved. Jace waved back but his swag wouldn’t allow him to do much else. He was a boy of few words and that both confused and appealed to Harmony. "You gonna be out all day?" Harmony continued. Brittany rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips.
"Maybe." He said hunching his shoulders.
"Can I bounce the ball with you later?"
"Where your uncle at? I thought you couldn’t talk to boys."
“It’s fine,” she said feeling bolder.
"I’ma give my nana the mail and I’ll be right back so we can play. Okay?"
“Aight.” Jace smiled.
Harmony made a decision that no matter what, she would do whatever she could to see him. She was tired of being bored, lonely and scared. She needed some fun and was willing to take the chance. Even if it meant making her uncle, “smile again”. Which was the phrase he gave his molestation. Already she was
learning the power of seduction.
With a plan hatched in her mind, s
he was preparing to give Shirley the mail when she was met with jab so strong that she was knocked down the steps. The blow caused her to fall face first into a pile of Dingo’s dog shit. Who as of yesterday was nowhere to be found.
"You okay?" Kalive asked. He had a crush on her, but she never noticed him. Kali’s large body and stern look told her he would knock Shirley on her back if he could.
"Get your fat ass from out in front of my house!" Shirley told the boy who hadn't budged an inch. "And Harmony, get up these stairs!" She yelled from the top of the steps wearing only a towel, which partially exposed her stomach that was ripped to shreds because of her pregnancies.
When Shirley was gone, Kali helped her off the ground. "Thank you." Harmony said once on her feet. “I ‘ppreciate it, Kali.” She was panicky not knowing what Shirley would do to her once inside.
“You aight? You want me to go inside with you?”
“Yeah, I mean no, I’ll be fine.” She said rubbing her face.
“Is it true, what your uncle makes you do in there?” Kali asked from nowhere. Just like most kids, he could be uncouth.
“What you mean? My uncle is real nice to me.”
“Oh…okay. I won’t say nothin’. Just askin’.”
She hadn’t told anybody about what Charles did to her and she was nervous. Harmony was unaware that since Charles, a known sex offender had come back to live with his mother Shirley, that the neighborhood had been buzzing about the things he may be doing to her. But none of them, not one of them, cared enough to call the police.
Tasting the blood in her mouth, she grabbed the mail and walked up the stairs. When she looked to see if Jace was still there, her heart broke when she saw he wasn’t, however, Kalive was. With the mail in her hands, Harmony walked inside. Now the bathroom door was closed and she knocked softly.
"Come in!" she screamed. Once inside Shirley said, "I should've known what was taken you so damn long! You just like your mother, a whore in the makin’. Now put the mail on the back of the toilet bowl, and get over here and wash my back!"
Harmony placed the mail down, walked deeper into the small yellow space and knelt to her knees. The funky, fishy smell inside the bathroom caused her stomach to churn. She saw the red washcloth floating around in the tub, and witnessed the water turning from a grungy grey to dirty yellow. The bitch had pissed in the tub.
"Why you takin’ so long? Wash my back!"
Harmony grabbed the washcloth and dunked it into the toilet-bath-water like she was told. It took everything in her power not to throw up on her back.
“
That’s enough of that.” She turned and looked at her. “What you been in here doin’ with my son?”
Harmony’s eyes widened. “Nothin’, nana.”
“
I don’t believe you!” She said wagging her finger in her face. “Now you tell me the truth, or I’ma call the police and have you locked up. And you won’t neva be able to see that little boyfriend of yours across the street.”
Harmony didn’t know what to do, part of her wanted to tell the truth. If she did, maybe his sexual abuse would stop.
“
He…he makes me kiss his thing and he puts his hands between my legs and stuff.”
“
So you in here havin’ sex with my son?”
“
No, no, nana! He made me do it.”
All of a sudden, Shirley eased out of the water like a Loch Ness monster. Water dripped from her body as she placed one foot outside of the tub, followed by the other. Harmony backed up against the door before Shirley sat down on the edge of the tub with her legs wide open. The lips on her vagina hung like two slabs of brown chitterlings.
“
Get over here,” she said. “Now!”
“
What?”
“
Harmony Phillips, you heard me. Now get over here right now. I want you to lick it for me.” Looking at the large woman before her, Harmony felt faint.