“This body…” His hands were everywhere, squeezing my nipples, rubbing my clit, gripping the side of my cheek. His fingers moved fast, making sure their presence was known, striking the smallest bit of pain before rubbing it out. “How did you keep it away from me for so long?”
There was no way I could answer that question. So, I flattened my palms against his chest, arched my back, and got lost in the movement. The muscles in his chest tightened, and it caused me to tilt my head forward and look at him.
“You’re milking my cock.”
“I’m close.”
His abs contracted, rippling down his stomach, and my fingers followed their trail. The lightest coating of sweat mixed in with the dark hairs. I lifted my hand to my mouth, so I could have his salty taste on my tongue.
His thumb was back on my clit, rubbing circles over the small bead, while his parted lips and hooded eyes took me in. “Fuck, Kyle. You’re tightening more.”
“Garin…”
“I know…” he hissed. “You’re dripping over my cock, and it’s begging for my cum.”
I moaned so loud that I feared Beard would come in. But, even if he did, there was no way I could stop. Not at this point. I was too far gone to care if he dragged me off Garin’s dick and put me on that freezing chair with Breath’s nasty tongue on my face.
Some things were worth the punishment. Garin was one.
He angled his hips upward, which gave me even more access to him. I took it all—the rubbing of his thumb and the fullness of his wide, thick cock—and I let my body work through that familiar tingle.
“Even tighter,” he moaned. “Suck it right out of me, baby.”
I crashed my lips against his. I wanted to feel those filthy words vibrate across my mouth. Then, I tightened one last time, knowing this was the final second I’d be able to hold it in. Garin’s sounds told me he felt it. He clamped his hands on my waist and completely took over the movements. Keeping me on top, my fingers holding his shoulders for leverage, he rocked into me as hard as he could. In and out.
In…and deliciously out.
My clit was exploding with pleasure. My stomach was shuddering. My body was numb, except for the spasms that pulsed through each limb and muscle. When I opened my mouth, his tongue filled it.
“You’re mine, Kyle. You’ve always been mine.”
Always yours
.
I was his.
“Yes, Garin, I’m yours.”
That must have been what he needed to hear because his abs tightened, his hips rocked against mine, and he moaned my name over and over as he filled me with streams of his hot, thick cum.
When we both finally calmed, he rested my head on top of his shoulder, and I wrapped my arms around him. He was still inside me, my legs still straddled him, and I breathed in his scent. It was warmth. More warmth than I’d had since we’d been put in our cell.
The cell.
It only took seconds before I was brought right back to the cement and the bars and the reason I thought we were in here.
“What if this is the last time?” I whispered.
He tilted my face up, so he could look at me. “Nothing is going to happen to us.”
“I’m envious of your optimism.” I broke our eye contact and squeezed my thighs over the sides of his stomach. “I hope you’re not just saying that because you’re still inside me.”
He gave my bottom lip a small nibble and moved me to where he’d been sitting. Then, he went over to the sink, dampening a clump of toilet paper. I thought he would hand it to me when he returned, but he rubbed it over my pussy instead. It was an intimate moment. His gentle hand held the wet paper against my opening, cleaning the cum as it dripped out of me. His touch was so fragile, so different than he had been several minutes before. The compassionate side of him was as sexy as the feral one.
After he flushed the clump, he handed my clothes back to me and joined me under the blanket. “I’m going to keep you safe.” The clothes stayed where he had set them because he gripped my face, making it impossible for me to move. “If they want to torture someone, they’re going to torture me.”
He’d kept me so fogged that I’d forgotten about his bruises, cuts, and scrapes. But, now, they all stared at me. Taunted me. Reminded me of Breath and Beard, the power they had, what they were capable of…how badly they could hurt us.
“Garin, no.”
His lips were so close to mine, and I breathed in his exhale. It didn’t matter how tightly he held my face. He wasn’t squeezing a
yes
out of me.
“The decision is up to me,” he said. “It’s what I choose, and as long as I can help it, nothing is going to happen to you.”
“You can’t protect me in here. You said it yourself.”
He pulled me onto his lap, my naked body straddling his. “Stop,” he growled.
I opened my mouth, and his finger pressed between my lips.
“You’re going to work yourself up until you can’t breathe. Don’t do it, Kyle. Let me do the worrying. Let me carry the anxiety. I just want you to take a deep breath, get dressed, and get into bed, so I can hold you until you fall asleep.”
Instead of giving me a chance to respond, he lifted me off his lap and set me on my feet. He clasped the bra behind my back and helped me slide into my pants. He even dropped my tank top over my head.
Once he was dressed, he climbed into bed behind me, holding me so close to his body. I felt every inhale. Every exhale. Every beat inside his chest.
“My soul mate,” I whispered.
He turned my cheek, so I looked at him over my shoulder. “What did you call me?”
“You’re my soul mate, Garin. For some reason, we were put in this cell together and given a second chance.”
“You believe in that?”
I nodded. “I believe our soul mate is revealed only once during our life. Maybe it’s a glimpse of a stranger. Maybe it’s our best friend. The timing may not always be right. But, when they’re shown to us, we know it’s them. Then, life happens. We grow. We age. We develop scars. And we remember that glimpse. Some are lucky enough to spend the rest of their lives with that person. Some, like me, have only memories.”
“Now, you have more than just memories.”
He released my face, and I turned around, cozying into his chest.
This was another moment. One that I wanted to hold, that I wanted to live in for as long as I could. One that I’d use to put me in a painless place. There were other moments from my past. All of them included Garin. They shone the brightest in my mind, so I wouldn’t ever forget them.
But my past had taught me something. After each of these moments, the moment that followed usually wasn’t good. It was tragic. Dark. It had the capability of changing my life for the worse.
I feared that would happen the next time I opened my eyes. That, after this moment, the next would sear us permanently. I needed to prepare myself for that.
So, in my mind, I moved the light. Now, it shone on this. And on us.
Fifteen
Garin
Present Day
I stared at her face while her eyes were closed. She looked the same as she did all those years ago. So fucking beautiful but healthy. With all her makeup washed off, she had a softness to her skin that women from The Heart didn’t usually have. Kyle always had it. Hell, she looked more gorgeous now than she had when she graduated high school.
Kyle Lang, after all this time, how the hell did you come back into my life?
And, now, we were here, together, in the most fucked up place. In the most fucked up situation.
When I saw her in the back row at the funeral, I wanted to wrap my hands around her goddamn neck and squeeze every bit of air out of her lungs. But, once I heard all the pain in her voice and saw how much was in her eyes, I knew it wasn’t just from Billy’s OD. It went deeper than that.
Much deeper.
So, I took her to a place where there wasn’t a casket staring her right in the face, where her brother wasn’t breathing down her fucking neck. I thought it would help her open up.
It had.
By her second cocktail, some of the old Kyle had started to come out. She was chewing the end of her straw, teasing her tongue around its rim. She had no idea how sexy she was. She didn’t when we were kids, and she hadn’t been able to handle her booze back then either. One cocktail at Mario’s house, and I could get anything I wanted out of her. That was why I’d never let her drink with anyone but me and why I’d put her to bed before she did something she’d regret in the morning.
My plan didn’t fail me this time.
Once the liquor began revealing more of her guilt, I sent the text message. Things were set in motion…and they were going to stay in motion.
Fucking guilt
.
I knew what it looked like; the same shit was rotting inside me. But that had been the first time I’d seen it in Kyle’s eyes. I had to give her credit. She hid it well. Too goddamn well. She shouldn’t have drunk anything. The booze had broken down her walls and shown me things I should have seen before. Had I seen it, things would have played out differently.
I would have brought her to Vegas. I would have gotten her into school. I would have taken care of her. I would have made her mine.
And I would have protected her.
But now…
Now, we were here.
Having feelings for her hadn’t been part of my plan. I didn’t know when the fuck that had happened, but I had to keep those feelings separate.
And her body. I tried to only touch her when she stirred, but my hands didn’t want to stay off her.
I had to forget I felt anything at all. I had to forget I’d touched her.
Really
touched her.
And I had to focus on getting what I wanted.
Kyle knew something. Whatever that something was…it was going to be mine.
Sixteen
Kyle
I sat on edge, waiting for Breath to burst into our cell or for Beard to pluck me from Garin’s arms. Whenever I opened my eyes, I expected to be on the icy chair again, the ropes burning my wrists, a revolting tongue resting on my earlobe, sticky residue drying somewhere on my body. The only time I’d relaxed was when Garin was inside me.
But as the hours ticked on, Beard eventually returned. He threw down two trays, flashed us his gun, and left with a grunt.
The next day was the same, and so was the one after that.
I knew I wouldn’t be kept in the dark forever. There was a reason Garin and I were here, and it would be explained soon. But it felt like the more time I spent in our cell, the further I was from that answer. I began getting a little more comfortable in there. There was someone responsible for that.
Garin.
Kyle
.
He was doting, caring. He made me laugh so hard that tears streamed from my eyes and my stomach cramped. He made me remember the times we’d shared in The Heart.
He made me feel every emotion.
I didn’t know how a cell like ours could feel tolerable, but somehow, Garin made that happen. He made the food taste good by taking my mind to a place where everything was delicious. He made the floor seem less filthy and the sink less rusted. He made the colors less drab and the air not as damp.
He made me feel loved. It had always been there. It had never once weakened. But being here with him brought it back even stronger.
“There’s something on your mind, Kyle. Tell me what it is.”
My empty dinner tray sat in front of me. My fingers dripped from the buttery sauce the noodles had soaked in and the pineapple juice that I’d searched through to find the chunks.
I tried to stand, but he stopped me.
“Say it.” He looked down at my hands and drew one of my fingers into his mouth, sucking off the juice. He didn’t rush through the others. He took his time, his tongue swirling around the knuckles and nails.
“That feels better than it should,” I said.
He shook his head, like a tiger that had a small animal in its mouth. It showed dominance. And it showed how much he owned me because, even if his teeth were piercing my skin, I wouldn’t pull my hand away.
“Everything I do to you is going to feel good.” He surrounded my pinkie with his lips, the only finger he hadn’t sucked yet. “But you weren’t about to tell me how good I made you feel. You were about to say something much more serious than that.”
When I looked down at my feet, I felt his hand on my chin, stopping it from dropping any farther.
“No. I want you to look at me.”
He wasn’t going to let me get out of this. I didn’t just have to confess. I had to look at him while I was doing it.
Just a few days ago, I’d told him I’d loved him since I was a kid. I’d told him I still did. But saying
I love you
felt different.
“I need a minute.”
“I’m not giving you a minute,” he said. “I want the answer now.”
I finally met his eyes. “My feelings were coming to the surface.”
“Tell me what they are.”
“You know already.”
“Tell me again.”
How could I tell him I loved him when I was lying to him at the same time? Lying about something that really mattered. Lying about something that would change everything between us.
What we had was based on a lie.
The lie was woven into my answers, in my thoughts, in what had happened between us…what would continue happening, I was sure. It would affect the way he felt about me.
It
should
affect the way he felt.
Breathe, Kyle
.
So, the only thing that made sense was to lie more. I couldn’t drag him into this any further. He was already in far enough. He knew he had my body; I couldn’t lie about that. But my heart? I could push him away emotionally. I could make sure his feelings didn’t deepen, like mine had. It would be too late if that happened.
Breathe, Kyle
.
Then, he would really hate me once he found out I wasn’t who he thought I was.
Then…
Kyle.
“I think it was a good thing that I left all those years ago.” My stare deepened as I tried to read him, something I hadn’t been successful at since we’d been locked in here. “We’re too different. Not just our lifestyles, but also our personalities. You were crazy about women back then. From what you’ve told me, it sounds like that hasn’t changed at all.”