Play Me to Infinity (The Broken Men Chronicles Book 3) (8 page)

I made it back to the office by myself.  As to where Nicole had headed after she left the bistro, I had no clue.  One thing was for sure, she never chased me.

Part of me was glad that she’d done what I’d asked of her, and the other felt upset that she hadn’t followed me to discuss what had happened.

My mind was reeling with Dean’s insinuations.

Was Nicole promiscuous in nature?  I highly doubted it.

Had she been with as many guys as Dean had alluded to?  Her reaction to the man’s words told me that she wasn’t as innocent as I’d presumed her to be.

But that doesn’t make her a slut.

The more I deliberated things, the less I believed Dean’s claims.

Nicole and I weren’t all that different really.  If anyone understood how weak a person could make another, I could.  Part of my leaving Austin was so I could make sure I wouldn’t fall prey to Tracey’s clutches.

Like me, maybe she sought out men to quench certain urges, not always sexual, without forming attachments.

As I sat at my desk, I saved the final version of Nicole’s and my presentation and sat back, my mind still muddled with so many questions.

With a hand scrubbing down my face, I wondered why Nicole hadn’t tried to defend herself against Dean’s words.  I felt like a heel for coming to her rescue, yet not being man enough to stick around to hear her side of things.

Then there was the fact that she hadn’t even tried to disprove anything.

Maybe she was embarrassed?

Was her attraction genuine?  Maybe she was out for a good time, and because Dean had called her out on it, she’d given up because she knew I didn’t like games?  I doubted the latter, but then again, I’d been wrong where women were concerned before.

One thing was certain.  We needed to talk it out.

I reached for my phone and dialed.  Nicole’s voice-mail kicked on and I ended the call without leaving a message.

Finding my resolve, I gathered my briefcase and headed down to the parking garage, peeling out onto the road.

Fifteen minutes later, I was parked in front of Nicole’s house.  Her car was there, but the lights were off.  My stomach sank and then I caught the flickering of what seemed like candlelight from the picture window.

Hope restored, I stepped out of my car, locked up and walked to her front door.  That’s when I heard the sultry sound of a voice I hadn’t heard in years.  The words, the guitar, the song…

It’s her?

I knocked, but the answer never came, only the continuous playing.  I tried the doorknob and it turned, granting me access to her home.  I let myself in and followed the melody.

She was in the front room which looked like some kind of library-den turned into a very comfortable music-slash-sitting room of sorts with a desk, laptop and some other equipment I couldn’t discern.

Nicole’s back was to me as she sat on a piano bench, facing her wall of floor to ceiling library shelves, her singing flawless in accompaniment to her strumming tune.  She transported me to the past…

“Tracey, I was thinking about our wedding song.”

“I thought we’d decided on Tony Bennett’s
The Way You Look Tonight
?”

“I know, but I stumbled onto this today.” I waved the CD.  “I forgot that I had it.”

“What song?  Who sings it?”

“You wouldn’t know her.  I don’t even know who it is, but the song is perfect.”  I walked to the stereo and popped the disk in.  Maybe she’d think it was foolish, but I pressed the
play
button anyway.  “Listen.”

“Where’d you get this?” she asked after I’d powered down the stereo.

“Back in high school.  Ben and I used to play pranks on my sister.  I found it under her bed and thought she’d taken off with one of my mixes like always, so I took it back.”

The CD, as it turned out, wasn’t mine, but something about that voice, the emotion and the combination of honesty and hope in the words had me keeping it for myself.  Days, weeks, months went by, and the disk was left unclaimed, and I continued to enjoy it.

“I didn’t peg you as someone to barge into people’s houses without permission,” Nicole said.

I hadn’t heard her stop playing, caught up in my daydream.  “How’d you know I was in here?” Her back was still turned to me.

“I heard the knock.  What do you want?”

“The way you play…”
It’s better than your CD
.  “That was beautiful, Nic.”

She bowed her head and sighed.  “What do you want, Michael?”

“I wanted to apologize for earlier.”

“Don’t you mean you wanted to hear an apology from me?”  She sounded hurt and
bitter.

“No.  Like I said, I came to apologize.”

I heard her knuckles rap on the laminated wood of her guitar and then watched as she got up and set the instrument down beside five others that were lined up against the wall on their stands.

“Whatever it is, your apology is accepted.”  She moved to lean against the wall and stared out the window. “You can go now.”

“Can we talk?”

“I think enough was said tonight.”

“I rather hear your side than that jackass’.”

Her short laugh held no humor, but at least she looked at me when she spoke next.  “What’s it matter?”

My eyes refused to let hers go.  “It matters.”

“You want to hear the whole sordid story?”  I didn’t answer.  “You want to know about the part that Dean and I used to be engaged?  How about the part that he was fucking his PA, Lisa, behind my back?  How about the other women I suspected him of being with, but chose to forgive?  Oh… but I never forgot, Mike.  Do you want to hear about me turning into one of those women after we broke it off and he was seeing Lisa?”

She turned her entire body to face me and assessed my reaction, but I gave her nothing.  “Do you really want to hear about how weak I was?  That no matter how many men I ended up with, that I always went crawling back to him?”  She wiped at the tears, furiously.  “I bet you’re pretty proud of yourself aren’t you?  Finding out that Little Nikki was no better than you with getting around.  It doesn’t matter that I didn’t like it, but
for however long the connection lasted, the dark thoughts of the past would disappear and I was convinced that I had moved on to something better.”

“Nic-”

She held up her hand to stop me.  “I’m a hypocrite, a slut, a weakling…” she listed.

Her self-deprecation was too much for me.

I walked up to her and stopped to stand about a foot away.  “I don’t think that,” I pulled her into my chest, “but what I do think is that you need a hug.”

She released a sobbing laugh into my chest and with the way my shirt was getting soaked, I gathered that she had more tears than laughs needing to be let out.  This woman was hurt beyond measure, just like me, but she had never been able to get away.  No wonder she’d despised me before knowing my story.

“I stopped… a month ago, I stopped.  I came close to breaking down a few weeks back.  And then I found out he was engaged to her.  I can’t do it anymore.  I turned into someone I hate and I can’t do that to Lisa, despite all that she’s done to me.”

“Is that when…” I began, but she knew where I was going with my words.

I felt her head bob in a nod.  “When I ran into you at Dani’s, yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Please don’t say that.  You make me feel like I’m being pitied.  I don’t deserve anything from anyone, least of all you.”

“You deserve better than what you got with Dean, Nic, that’s for sure,” I whispered into her hair.

“But I was unfair.”

“You had your
reasons.”
I buffed my cheek on her tresses.  “Now, answer me this… since when do you play guitar?”  That gained me a laugh, then, she looked up and gave me a crooked smile that had me smiling right back.  “I figured a subject change was in order.”

“I’ve been playing for as long as I can remember.  My dad used to play, he taught me.”

“How come I’ve never heard you play before?  I mean, I know I wasn’t around unless it was to annoy you and
Dani, but she never mentioned that you played either.”

“I never told her much until I took Dad’s and my dream and turned it into something we’d always wanted.”

“Ah, that elusive business.” She nodded.  “What was it?”

“A music store.  I sold instruments, taught lessons, and even ran a small recording studio in the back for people who wanted to record.  It was a lot of fun.”  Her smile was infectious.

“You loved it.”

“I did.” Her face darkened.

“Should I ask you what happened?”

“No, but it comes with the whole story, so I’ll tell you.”  She sighed and led me to the couch where we sat.  “Dean took me for one hell of a loop when he left me.  What was worse was that Mom got sick around the same time.  It took a long time for the doctors to figure out what was going on with her.  After a while, we’d run through all of hers and my father’s savings, Dad’s life insurance, everything.”

I listened on.

“It wasn’t a good time in my life.  Because music made me feel, the combination of my failed relationship with Dean and my mother’s failing health was too much.  I couldn’t be around music, I wasn’t able to concentrate on the business like I should have been, and things just fell apart.”

“Oh, honey.”  I squeezed her hand.

“I’d still have the shop had Mom not needed so many treatments.  I had no choice but to end my lease and liquidate everything.

“Mom wasn’t happy with my decision.  As retaliation, she deeded me this house and made me promise that I keep some of the money I made from my liquidating the store’s assets for myself.  So I paid off the mortgage with my chunk, and all of her various treatments with the other.  I saved the rest for a rainy day.”

I nodded in understanding.  “Is your mom okay?”

“No.”  She looked down.  “The cancer caused a clot to form and she had a stroke right before Danica moved back here.  She died.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Needless to say, I’ve taken up odd administrative jobs, thinking that the monotonous busy work would keep my mind busy enough from all things Dean, and Mom, and where I wanted to be, and no longer could be.”  She let out a long breath.  “It worked, and Business Administration is something I’m good at.  At least I think I am.  I haven’t heard a word about my work ethics being less than stellar yet.”

“But it’s not who you are.” Her lips tightened in a flat line in response.  “You deserve a lot more.  You deserve to be happy, to have your shop again, and give those lessons you love giving.”

“And I’ll have that again… someday.”  She smiled up at me as if knowing a secret I had yet to discover.  “The salary you’re giving me at
Withers
is so much that if my projections are right, I’ll be able to get started on building my stock in the next six months.”

“Are you saying that you’re leaving?”  I felt bereft despite knowing where her heart lay.

She smirked.  “You knew I would all along.”

I groaned.  “I know, but how in the hell am I going to replace you?”

She giggled.  “I’m not that good.”

“No, you’re better.”

When my head hit the pillow tonight, something felt as if it was missing.

I tossed and turned, paced, and sat in the dark.

I even tested out the heated milk trick.  I spat that shit straight out, and wished I had an espresso maker so as to turn it into a macchiato or something of that sort.  As girly as the drink was, it would have tasted better.

Morning came and I found myself at work, tired and on the verge of falling asleep on my feet.  I had ended up using an old trick, but remembered it only too late – Nicole’s CD.

Yeah, I still have it.  Her melodic voice soothed me, her words lulled me into a fitful sleep that lasted an hour before it was time to get up and go, thanks to my trusty alarm clock.

By lunchtime, our disgruntled client was more than ecstatic with our new look for their campaign and the numbers we’d projected.  Suffice to say, the account was secure.

Nicole had been quiet and kept to herself throughout the morning.  She looked about as tired as I felt, which was saying something, since I’d left her place before midnight.

Getting up, I went to her.  “What do you say we get out of here?”

She did a double-take.  “What?”

“Let’s get out of here.  I’m eager to start the weekend and I can use some sleep and it looks like I’m not the only one.”

She smirked.  “Stud, are you trying to get me to go home with you?”

“That’s an idea.”  I grinned.  “Let’s discuss this in my office, away from prying ears.”

“Should I be afraid?”

I gave her a mock mischievous laugh.  “Very.”

“About me going home with you,” she began after my office door closed behind us, “I thought we were done playing games?”

“Yeah, we are, but I get a kick out of your reactions.”  What can I say?  Some games are fun to play, and flirting doesn’t hurt anyone.

“I know what you mean.”  She smiled and leaned against my desk, her legs looking fabulous in another one of her pencil skirts.

Did I mention how much I love her skirts?

I stood, mere feet from her.

“I especially like it when your eyes go wide,” she
said, running a finger over her collarbone and down between her breasts.  My jaw went slack.  “Yeah, just like that.”

I cleared my throat.  “You’ve got a mean streak in you, Nic.”  I got up and faced off with her.  “So, what do you say, you up for an afternoon veg-fest?”

“I don’t know if it’s wise.”  There was no doubt she was flirting as she looked up through her lashes, “my boss might have something against me with spending time with a colleague outside of work.”

“Fuck your boss!” I said, carrying on with our play on words.  Seeing how far she would take it was too much fun.

“That’s an idea.”  Mischief shone in her eyes.  She wrapped her fingers around my belt loops and pulled my torso into hers.

I groaned.  Okay, so maybe we were taking this too far now.  “Nic, this isn’t smart.”

“I know, yet, it’s brilliant at the same time.”  I knew where she was coming from with that statement.  No matter how much I’d been resisting her, there was always that unseen force that pulled me back in.  “Tell me something, Mike, why is it that every time we’ve kissed, that I can barely stay under control?  Why is it that even though we’ve called it quits on our game, that I still feel the need to tease you?”  She continued.  “How is it that I can’t seem to sleep at night without waking up…” she leaned up, pressing her chest into mine as my head inched down toward hers, “wet?”

God, help me!

Her lips met mine in a brief kiss – a teaser.

“Nicole…”  My voice croaked.

“The way you say my name,” she purred, “it makes me want to make you say it again.”

“Fuck!”  I felt what was left of my resolve break.

Grabbing the back of her head, I crashed my mouth to hers.  I pulled away and watched her face, her eyes, and looked down at her lips.

“I hope you’re ready for this, because once I start, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop.”

She gave me a vigorous nod and pulled me back down to her lips.  I picked her up, sat her on my desk and ran my hands up her legs, pushing her skirt up inch by inch.

Her hands slid from my nape and I felt her fussing with my tie while I cradled and supported her back, our mouths fused to each other.

Her fingers were popping the buttons of my shirt out of their eyelets, her lips found the skin of my chest, and then she pulled back enough to look up at me.

I took her mouth.

A trail of fiery kisses was passed down from her mouth, over her cheek and jaw.  She arched her neck, pushing her body into mine as I moved further down and nipped her collarbone.  Her tiny hands were busy undoing my belt, and I ached to be freed from the confines of my slacks.

“Oh God!” she whispered when she pulled me out of my underwear, my pants down by my ankles, yet my skivvies were still wrapped around my thighs.  Smirking up at me, she licked her lips. “I hope my boss will be holding it against me for inter-office relations.”

“Honey,” I smirked at her slyness, “I’ll do more than hold it against you.”

Her hand pumped me once.  “Promise?”
she asked, and a moan pushed past my lips when her thumb traced the slit of my cock.

I gripped her hand to stop her actions and her eyes came up to meet mine as if expecting an answer.  I delivered it without words.

With the lacy barrier of her underwear pushed off to the side, Nicole guided me to her heated folds.  The moment our sexes met, it took everything in me not to thrust into her with the urgency that consumed me.

I groaned into her neck.  “Condom.”

Giving her a sheepish look as I leaned over the desk and reached into the top drawer, I pulled out the foil packet.

Nicole snapped the package from me, tore into it with her teeth and proceeded to roll the rubber on.

“I’ll die if you don’t hurry this up.”

She nipped my ear, her cheek nuzzling against mine and its scruff.  “I need you inside me,” she whispered before leaning back.

Lifting her hips, I thrust myself to the hilt, Nicole’s cry muffled by my shoulder.

Damn, she was tight.  I lowered her ass onto my desk, scattering the few items that were in the way.  She wrapped her thighs around my hips and my hands rubbed up her legs, luxuriating in the feel of her.  “I’ve dreamt about how you’d feel wrapped around me like this.”  I pulled out, leaving the tip, and pushed in fast and hard, feeling her cervix as I bottomed out, loving the sight of me disappearing into her slick pussy.  “You feel amazing.”

“Mmm…”

I found a rhythm that seemed to satisfy us both, but I needed more.  I craved her closeness.

Leaning over her, I picked her up and sat in one of the visitor’s chairs that faced my desk.  She straddled my thighs.  The grinding of her pelvis against mine sent spots flittering across my vision and her rhythmic clenching threatened to throw me over the edge.

When her internal spasms began to take over and her body shook, I clamped my mouth over hers to muffle her erotic sounds.  The inappropriateness of our act combined with the possibility of getting caught was a surefire thrill.

When her hips bucked over mine, her body seized.  I gave her an upward thrust and slammed her hips down over mine.  Heat sizzled up from my balls as I came hard and fast, crying my release in Nicole’s mouth as she had with me.  Fuck, I had never come like that before.

“Wow!” I said against her mouth.

“Uh-huh.”  She started to giggle.  “Mike?”  She pulled back to see my face.

“Yeah?”

“Do you think that my boss will forgive me for this indiscretion?”  She smirked.

“Only if you promise to do it again.”  I laughed.

She looked at me with a confused look.  “You mean not to do it again, right?”

“No.”  I pecked her lips. “I meant what I said, exactly as I said it.”  I tucked the hair from her face behind her ear and kept my hand on her cheek.  “Now that I’ve had you once, I’m going to need you again, Nicole.”

“But we’re not playing.”

“No, we’re not.” I was serious.  Her body stiffened.  She tried to back off of me, but I kept her right where she was.  “And never do I intend on playing you.”  My words were firm, my intentions honest.

“I should go.”  She gave me a chaste kiss.  “Thanks for the early weekend.”  She got up and began straightening her appearance.

“Nicole,” I started, confused at her sudden distant behavior, “you never answered about spending the rest of the day with me.”

She stopped dead in her tracks but didn’t look at me.  “You got what you wanted out of it, so is the rest really necessary?”

I finished buckling my belt, seeing that she was vexed.

Before she could run off, I grabbed her arm and pulled her into my chest.  “The rest is necessary.”  I looked down at her.  “A player would fuck and run, Nicole.  Is that what you are?  Because it’s not what I am, or what I do after I’ve been with a woman.”

I released her and gave her the opportunity to decide.  She looked conflicted.  For what felt like an eternity, I knew fear prevented her from saying anything, but my anger got the better of me, and so did my mouth.  “I guess I have my answer.”  I grabbed my briefcase and headed for the hallway.  “Have a good weekend.  See you Monday and don’t forget to lock my office door on your way out.”

I was watching the elevator doors close when a tiny hand stopped their progress, their sensors being prompted to open once again.

“So where are we heading?”  She gave me a shy smile as she walked into the elevator, her purse in hand.

“I’m heading home,” I told her, “as for you, I don’t know.”

“I’m sorry.  It’s just… I’m scared.”

Me too.