Paper Airplanes (37 page)

“That’s a great story, Dad,” I said, thinking it was sweet, but I wasn’t sure how it pertained to my situation. 

“Cass, my point is that when you find the right person, you do what you have to. If Jared’s the one, and he can’t leave here until next year, then you stay. It’s simple.”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “Are you serious? Aren’t you
the guy who told me that school comes first and going to a good college is everything?”

I was kind of at a loss for how to process what was happening.

“Are you giving up school?” he asked.

I shook my head. “No, I’m not.”

“Then it doesn’t matter. As long as you graduate from somewhere credible, you’ll be alright, but if you give up someone you love, you might never get him back. I see how Jared makes you smile. He makes you light up, and to tell you the truth, kid, there were a few months when I wasn’t sure I’d ever see your face light up again. He made you shine again.”

“Dad,” I said, blushing as he said something so cheesy. Even if he was right.

He threw his hands up. “Hey, I’m just saying, I like the guy. Go to Boston for him.”

I sighed. “Yeah?”

He shrugged. “Or don’t. It’s your decision, but just know that if you decide you want something different, I had lunch with Rob McGregor last week.”

That would have sounded complet
ely random had I not known who Rob McGregor was, but since I was well-acquainted with the fact that he was my father’s fraternity brother at Northwestern and also a professor at the University of Illinois, I wasn’t surprised that he’d interjected that factoid into our conversation.

“Oh yeah? What did Rob
have to say?”

He shrugged innocently, although I knew it was all for show. “I was telling him how you were doing after everything that
happened and how you might be looking at alternative options for next year. He just said that if you happened to want to live somewhere in the vicinity of the University of Illinois next year, he could make it happen. I know the start of school is only a few weeks away, but we could find you an apartment near campus if you wanted to do that.”

I knew he couldn’t have been so calm about me giving up a four year school in favor of a community college. He’d played it cool, probably because he didn’t want to push me if I wasn’t ready to leave home, but I knew what he really wanted me to do. It was written all over his face.

“Dad, I just told you I want to stay here,” I reminded him.

“I know. I know
. But if you change your mind, you have another option. I’m just saying. You have an excellent GPA. The school would be lucky to have you, and I know how much you love the campus.”

I sighed. He was getting crafty on me. I’d actually considered going to Illinois for undergrad, and we’d visited the campus. I’d thought it was beautiful, but
I’d had my heart set on Coleman.

“I’m staying
here,” I told him firmly, and he just shook his head as he consented to what I wanted.

“I guess you wouldn’t be my daughter if you weren’t so decisive.”

I shrugged. “Genetics, Dad. They’re a crazy thing.”

He laughed. “You’re so right.”

He got up from the table, leaving me sitting there pondering how easy the conversation had been. I’d been dreading telling my parents my plan to stay in town for another year out of fear that they wouldn’t be okay with it. It felt like a weight I hadn’t realized was sitting on my shoulders had been lifted, and I smiled to myself as I took another sip of my coffee and thought about Jared. It felt like we had all the time in the world to be together, and it was exactly what I wanted.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Jared

Coleman College.

Just seeing the name on the signs heading into town and then at the edge of campus gave me chills. I couldn’t believe I was back there, back in the place where I’d almost died the last time I visited. It was incredibly surreal. The last time I’d gone up to visit Evan I’d had big plans of finally shaking off what had happened with Brooke. It had been six weeks since she’d dumped me, so I figured it was time.

It was funny to think that at that point in my life, my biggest issue was being pissed and hurt that my girlfriend had cheated on me. So much had changed since then.

Evan and I had gone to a party at his frat house, and I’d hooked up with a girl at his insistence, hoping it would take my mind off of my ex, and it had worked – until the next morning. I’d drank too much, I’d been hung over and throwing up in the frat house bathroom, and by dinner time I finally felt ready to put food in my stomach, so Evan suggested the dining hall because they had killer mashed potatoes. I couldn’t think of anything that sounded better, so we headed over there. He called his girlfriend, Tiffany, to meet us and had gone outside to wait for her. The next thing I knew I was on the ground, bleeding and terrified.

It had been eight months, but in an instant I could be back on the floor of that dining hall whenever the memory struck. I wished my memories had faded over time, but I hadn’t been that lucky.

And now we were within a hundred yards of where the shooting had taken place. Cassie and I had gone to Evan’s frat house to say hi and drop Austin off since he was staying in Evan’s room, and then we were going to Cassie’s apartment to stay the night. On Monday, the movers were coming to take her stuff to her parents’ house, and she was turning the apartment back over to the leasing office, but for now it was going to be a place for us to stay in lieu of a hotel room that was out of my price range or the second couch in Evan’s frat house room. I’d never make Cassie stay in a place like that. It was kind of a craphole.

“Your
brother’s nice,” Cassie said as we walked back to my truck.

I watched her glance to her right, her gaze lingering on a frat house up the row from Evan’s.

“Yeah, he’s good guy,” I told her.

“
You guys don’t really look alike,” Cassie said then. “I mean, I’ve always been able to tell that you and Austin are related, but Evan looks completely different than you two. Except for the eyes. He has the same blue eyes as you.”

I nodded,
but my attention was more focused on watching her gaze as it zeroed in on the frat house up the row. I could make out the words Alpha Pi Beta above the door.

“
Evan and I have our mom’s eyes, but other than that feature, we don’t really look related. For the longest time, I didn’t think I looked like anyone in my family. I truthfully wondered if I was adopted, but I know that’s not true. Austin and I have started to look more alike as we’ve both gotten older. We both take after our mom.”

Cassie
nodded. “Yeah, you guys do look alike,” she said distractedly. Then she took a deep breath. “Can we walk up there?”

“Sure,” I said, not sure why she wanted to do that, but b
ased on the look in her eyes, I wasn’t going to tell her no.

“Thanks,” she said as we set off up Frat Row.

We turned down the walk that led to Alpha Pi Beta, and Cassie took my hand in hers. I followed her to the front door, and she knocked hesitantly.

“It’s weird,” she said, turning to me. “I’ve never knocked on this door before. I’ve always just walked in.”

A few seconds later a guy came to the door holding a slice of pizza. “Cassie?” he said, recognizing her as he pulled her into a hug. “Holy shit. How the hell are you?”

“Hi Noel. I’m good. How are you?”
she said, and I could hear the forced cheer in her voice. Noel didn’t seem to notice it.

“Can’t complain,” he said
jovially, taking a step back to let us into the house. “I was just grabbing pizza with Maxwell before we head out to the bars. Man, I haven’t seen you in forever. Are you still living at home?”

She nodded. “Yeah, we just came up for graduation. Noel, this is my boyfriend, Jared.
His brother’s graduating tomorrow.” She turned to me. “Jared, this is Noel. He was Will’s little brother.”

Will. Will Stephens. Her ex.
This was his brother?

“Fraternity little brother,” Noel clarified as he shook my hand. “Although it would have been cool to be related to Will. He was
such an awesome guy. Come on inside, you guys.”

We stepped across the threshold and into a large common area that looked a lot like Evan’s frat house – kind of dingy, industrial looking furniture, big-ass TV and in need of a good cleaning.
It made my little pool house look like a palace.

“Oh,” Cassie said, stopping short in front of two framed pictures.

We’d been following Noel into the house but something had caught her eye. I realized they were pictures of Aiden Keller and Will Stephens with the dates of their births and death beneath them. Seeing that date in print made my stomach twist.

“Yeah, we did that as a memorial after what happened,” Noel said, shaking his head. “Sick, fucking bastard. I’m glad he got what he deserved.”

Cassie squeezed my hand as he said that. We were thinking the same thing. Nothing that happened to the gunman had been fair retribution for what he’d done to all of us. His life for the lives of fourteen others and the emotional stress that the survivors and the families of the victims would carry around for the rest of their lives, no way was it even.

“So what have you been up to?” Noel asked Cassie then, and I let them talk, figuring it would be good for her to catch up with old friends.

I met several other brothers, and Cassie stayed to talk with them for half an hour before she turned to me and said we should go. I knew the guys were anxious to start their night, and I wanted to get to Cassie’s apartment and as far away from campus as I could. As we left the house, she stopped by the memorial again.

“They were
such good guys,” she said, shaking her head as she put her arm around my waist and leaned into me.

“I know they were.”

I didn’t know Will or Aiden, but I knew enough to know what she said was true.

“It just sucks,” Cassie said softly. “
Will would have been graduating tomorrow. It’s so unfair.”

It was unfair. The whole situation was unfair, and it did suck. But there was one good thing that came out of that day, and w
e both knew what it was – us. I knew that had the shooting never happened, I wouldn’t be with Cassie. I probably wouldn’t have even known what I was missing out on, but now that I knew, I considered it to be a bright spot in a day of terror.

It was
literally the only bright spot. I don’t think either of us realized it while it was happening, but being together helped us put the pieces of our lives back together faster. When you had someone to share your pain and to lean on when things got tough, getting past them became a whole lot easier. And now, when I could see Cassie was hurting, missing her friends and revisiting the injustice of what happened that day, I wanted to be there for her, hold her in my arms and take away some of her pain. It was the least I could do.

Cassie sighed once more and then turned away from the pictu
res. We headed back outside, her leaning against me as we walked, my arm around her doing what I could to protect her and keep her safe from the demons we both knew could be lurking anywhere in the dark night.

We drove to
her apartment in silence, her directing me where to turn and park, and then me following her to the second floor. The apartment smelled stale and dusty when we walked in and turned on the lights, but it looked equally lived in. Magazines from January were littered on the coffee table, a textbook was on the kitchen counter, and a pair of rain boots were by the front door.

Cassie picked them up and smiled. “I’ve been missing these.”

She set them back down and started to walk around the living room. I watched her looking at pictures and books and framed art on the walls, giving her the time and space she needed as I set our overnight bags down by the front door.

“It looks the same,” she commented as she ran her hand over the fireplace mantle. “But I feel like I haven’t been here in ages.”

She was looking at the pictures that lined the mantle. I could make out some of her and Marley, but there were also ones of her or Marley with people I didn’t recognize. Cassie looked happy and so beautiful in all of them. She looked like my girl living a different life than the one I’d known, and more than ever I wanted her to have that life back.

Cassie turned to me and yawned. Then she smiled. “You’re the first b
oy I’ve had sleep in my bed,” she said, her hands on her hips.

“I am?”

She nodded. “Yeah, I never brought guys back here. Congratulations on making it over the threshold.”

“I can sleep in the car,” I offered playfully. “I wouldn’t want to de-
virginize your apartment.”

She smiled. “No way,” she said, crossing the room to me. “You’re sleeping with me. Besides, this place saw enough action from Marley and Aiden that it won’t be surprised.”

She took my hand and led me down a short hallway to a room that was purple and cream. I barely had time to look around after she flipped on the light since she was dragging me to the bed. She pulled me down next to her and wove her arms around my neck.

“
Welcome to my old life,” she said as she looked up at me.

I looked around the room and then back at her. “I like it.”

She smiled. “It’s better now that you’re in it,” she said, and then she kissed me.

* * *

The sunlight filtered through the blinds waking me up the next morning. Cassie was tucked into my arms and still asleep. A glance at the clock told me we had three hours before we had to be at the auditorium for the start of graduation. It was a morning ceremony, and we were going to lunch with Austin and Evan afterward. I had no idea if either of my parents were attending. If they were, my brother hadn’t told me, and I was kind of hoping they’d both just skip it, which was a strong possibility.

As I slid out of bed, I realized how tense I felt and figured I had time for a run before I had to jump in the shower. I’d let Cassie sleep while I went to the gym. We’d driven by the clubhouse the night before, and I’d seen a small workout room that would suffice.  Pounding out a few miles on the treadmill would make sure I wasn’t a ball of stress for the ceremony.

When I got back an hour later, Cassie was in the bathroom in her room. She poked her head out and smiled at me.

“Damn, you look hot and sexy after a workout,” she said, as I kicked off my shoes.

“Sorry, I had to relieve some stress.”

“Baby, I could have done that for you,” she offered
in a low, sexy voice, waking things up below my waist.

I glanced
at the clock. “I’m actually still kind of stressed,” I said in mock sheepishness.

She laughed and dropped the make-up brush she had in her hand. “
I can help,” she offered as she stalked toward me and wrapped her arms around my waist. “Ugh, you’re all sweaty.” She tried to pull away, so I pulled her down onto the bed with me.

“You love it,” I said, wrapping her up in my arms.

She squealed. “Eww, get off,” she said, pushing against my chest.

I released her and settled down next to her
, rolling my head to the left so I could look at her. She mirrored my action and met my gaze. Then she froze, the smile fading from her face as it slowly morphed into a look of horror and confusion.

“Oh, my God!” she said then, and I wasn’t sure what was happening.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, as she bolted up in bed and pushed away from me. I sat up and looked at her, afraid to move any more.

Her hand was covering her mouth, and she was looking at me as if she was afraid. “Oh, my God!” she said again, her breath coming in short bursts.

“Cassie, what’s wrong? Talk to me.”

I looked beh
ind me, afraid that there was a snake or something else that I’d have to kill, but there wasn’t anything there. I looked back at Cassie to see her still staring at me in disbelief. She was shaking her head back and forth, her eyes never leaving mine.

“The blue eyes,” she said, and I wasn’t sure what she was talking about.

“What?”

“Blue eyes,” she said again
.

“Cassie, I don’t understand,” I pleaded with her, not sure what was happening.

She was starting to scare me. I was honestly afraid this was some delayed reaction to her getting shot in the head. Could brain damage be delayed eight months? I didn’t think so, but now I wasn’t so sure.

“You have blue eyes,” she said then.