Over (6 page)

"We can't keep going on like this anymore."

"Like what?" he demanded.

"My point exactly."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You don't get it."

Anger ran through him. "There's nothing to
get
, Alyssa. Our daughter is missing and we don't agree on where she's at."

"Exactly. That's a major obstacle, and not one I'm willing to live with."

"So, basically you're going to threaten me with moving out if I don't agree with you? Nice. Really nice."

She narrowed her eyes. "It's not about choosing sides. It's about facing reality—and you refuse to do that. You're going to hang onto this forever. I can see it, twenty years from now, me begging to give our little girl a funeral and you putting your foot down, saying no, she's going to come back. Just wait. It's the beginning of March, Chad. I've done nothing but wait since the middle of November. When those test results finally come, you'll see who's right."

"Then wait for them to come in. Want me to call Fleshman right now? I can, and I'll probably wake him. You know what he'll tell us? He doesn't know. Don't you think if that body was Macy's, someone would be able to figure it out by now?"

"I bet if they would have let us look at it, we could have told them months ago," Alyssa said. "We could have moved on a long time ago."

"They don't want us dealing with the emotional trauma if it is her. The body is so messed up they couldn't identify her face or any markings."

"Yeah, and it has enough similarities to give reasonable doubt. Similar height, weight, and hair color. For whatever reason, they can't get those test results right. Why is that?" She stared him down.

"I don't know, but you need to put my clothes back on the hangers. I don't want them getting wrinkled."

"Hang them yourself when you get wherever you're going." Alyssa narrowed her eyes.

Chad went over to the bed and dumped out the closest luggage and then tossed the suitcase on the floor. "I'm not going anywhere."

"You're not staying here."

"Look. If you need space, that's fine. I'll sleep in the bonus room or even down in my office, but you're not kicking me out of my house. I've done nothing wrong."

"Not good enough." Alyssa folded her arms.

"You're right. I should have a bed. I'll take Macy's, because that's probably empty."

Alyssa glared at him. "I made sure they went to bed in the proper rooms."

"And I'm sure they stayed there, too," Chad said sarcastically. He dumped out the other suitcase. "Put those back on their hangers or I'm sending them all to the dry cleaner to get pressed. I'm not going to wear wrinkled clothes."

"Then don't dump them on the bed. I had them all nicely folded."

"Put them in the closet, then."

"Chad, I'm done arguing about your clothes. In fact, I'm done arguing, period."

"Good. Put my stuff away while I get ready for bed. You're going to have to deal with me snoring next to you, because I'm not going anywhere."

"Yes, you are."

He stepped closer to her. "I'm not going anywhere. I was willing to sleep in a different room, but now I'm not."

"You have to. I'm kicking you out."

Chad laughed bitterly. "Really? Out of my own house? The house that I paid for? Tell me, how are you going to pay for everything? Not just the house payment, but the utilities. Everything costs money, and you don't make anything. Not that you couldn't. You could make more than I could. But you don't. You like being a domestic engineer and I'm happy to provide that for you. But not if you try kicking me out of the house I've worked so hard for."

Her lips formed a straight line and her face reddened. "Have you heard of child support and alimony?"

"Don't threaten it unless you mean it. Do you hear me? Don't even go there unless you're prepared. And just to let you know, the state of Washington doesn't do alimony. You could get child support, but not spousal. And believe me, since I'm the one with the money, I could afford a much better attorney than you. Like I said, don't go there unless you're serious."

She looked shaken. Good. How dare she throw this at him? Attempting to kick him out and then throw divorce at him. What had gotten into her?

"How do you know so much about that?" she asked.

"I haven't looked into it, if that's what you're implying. Half the people we know are split. Men gossip in the office too, you know. So, have you changed your mind?"

"You won't go?" she asked.

"I think I've made myself clear. If you need to get away from me, take some time and visit your parents. I'll even pay for a first class plane ticket. Even when you're threatening me with divorce and alimony."

"You think going to my parents' house is going to help?"

Maybe they could talk some sense into her. "It would get you away from me, and since you obviously don't want to be anywhere near me it might help."

"Chad, this isn't a joke."

"I'm not kidding around, Lyss."

"Well, if we're going to make this work, we have to get on the same page," she said.

"Then we either have to agree to disagree or you're going to have to agree to wait for actual proof before planning a memorial service. And let me tell you something. Even if you leave me and keep planning it, I'm going to fight you every step of the way. No one should have a funeral unless they're actually dead. I won't let that happen to Macy."

She stepped closer to him. "And when someone is dead, they deserve a memorial."

"We have no proof. Wait until the results come in. Then we'll know who's right and what to do."

"Or we'll just find out that particular girl isn't her. Then we'll be back to knowing nothing. We may never find a body. Then what?"

"Why are you doing this? How can you give up?"

"Give up? You think I'm giving up?"

"What else would you call it?"

"You're impossible. Really, you won't just leave?"

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Only me."

"Only you what?"

"Anyone else kicks their husband out and they go. Not me."

"You know what I think? I think a good night's rest is in order. It's late and we're tired. Let's talk about this in the morning."

"If you won't go, then I will."

"Where are you going? Flights are much more expensive when you purchase them at the airport."

Alyssa's face flushed red. "My parents aren't the only people I know. Do you think I'm that much of a loser?"

"Of course not. Are you going to stay at a friend's house? How long?"

"I'm not your child! I don't have to tell you what I'm doing. In fact, I don't have to tell you anything."

Sadness ran through Chad, replacing the anger. "Are you sure you want to go, Lyss? Really, I'll sleep in another room and we can talk about this again in the morning. Or we can talk tomorrow night. I'll give you all the space you need."

She gave him an exasperated look. "You really don't get it."

"Clearly."

They stared at each other. Chad tried to express with his eyes where his mouth had failed. They needed each other more than ever. Separating, even for a short time, wasn't going to make anything better.

Finally he said, "I hope you won't go."

"Since you won't, you leave me no choice."

"Please, Alyssa. Think about all the tough times we've gone through. Being together is what helped us. We need each other now more than ever. You say you want to be here for Alex—do you really think that taking off is going to help him? His sister is missing and—"

"You don't need to explain what's going on in my son's life. He's old enough and smart enough to know this isn't about him."

"Let me brush my teeth and then you can have the bedroom." Chad let out a slow breath as he walked to their bathroom. Tears were threatening, but he had to hold it together. What had gotten into her? Was it the grief talking? Did she have her own hormonal issues? She was too young for the female life change, wasn't she?

He took his time brushing and going to the bathroom, hoping that a strike of brilliance would hit him. That way when he came out of the bathroom, he could say the right thing and she would change her mind so they could fall asleep in each other's arms.

By the time he was done, he had no such strike of luck. He looked around the empty bedroom. Had she gone to check on the kids? He went down the hall, finding it empty. He went through the rest of the house, still not finding her.

Heart sinking, he looked outside to where her car had been for the last couple of days.

It wasn't there. Knowing it wouldn't be in the garage, he looked anyway. His car sat there, looking lonely and dejected.

Or was that Chad?

Sorrows

Alyssa pulled into the same parking spot she had the last time she was at the bar. Drinking hadn't solved any problems then, but at least she had been able to forget her troubles for a little while. She looked around the parking lot, relieved to see Rusty's tow truck missing.

The last thing she needed was a lecture from him again. She wasn't going to drink and drive, so there was nothing to feel guilty about. She had packed a pillow and blankets so she would sleep in the back of her car. If Rusty did show up, insisting to tow her again, this time she had cash to pay him and for the hotel he would drop her off at.

She fixed her hat, making sure it covered her eyes. Her family was practically at celebrity status between being on the news for Macy's disappearance and Chad's blog. Over the last month, he had had them making videos and uploading them to the blog since the news hadn't been talking about the case as much.

Her face was everywhere and the last thing she wanted was to be recognized. She only wanted to drink as many fishbowls of alcohol as she could without passing out. Not that losing consciousness sounded so bad. Anything to take her away from her life and the constant reminders of what a failure she was. One kid missing and the other ready to become a parent. They would certainly skip over her when handing out the Mother of Year award.

Walking into the bar, she was glad to see it was busy. No one paid any attention to her.

There was only one available table way in the back. She couldn't have asked for anything more. She sat down and watched everyone while she waited for the waitress. There were several lively games of pool going on as well as plenty of TVs with different sports to choose from. There were also quite a few loud conversations, with people who had already had too much to drink. It was no wonder that Rusty came to this bar. He probably made a fine living towing drunks home.

The same waitress from months earlier made her way to Alyssa's table, again chewing a big wad of gum. She listed off the specials for the night, holding a pad of paper and a pen. Alyssa noticed her name tag said Sela.

"Do you still have the fishbowl drinks?"

"Yeah, but they're not on special. Have you tried—?"

"I'll take a fishbowl. I don't care what it costs."

"Fishbowl it is." She wrote on the paper. "Anything else?"

Alyssa remembered the nachos not going over so well. "Surprise me with your favorite appetizer."

The waitress smiled and nodding, writing. "Sure thing." She walked away.

Yawning, Alyssa hoped the food and drink would help to wake her up. It was late and she hadn't slept well since Macy disappeared. Hopefully tonight she could forget all about everything and finally get the sleep she needed. She watched the nearest game of pool, trying to convince herself it was interesting.

Sela brought over a fishbowl and set it on the table. "The food's still cooking."

"Thanks, Sela." She grabbed the straw and drank as fast as she could. Feeling warm, Alyssa took her coat off. She wanted to take the itchy hat off, but she didn't want anyone to recognize her. Especially Rusty. Maybe she would be lucky and he was driving drunks home from a different bar that night.

Just as she emptied the fishbowl, Sela came with a steaming plate. From Alyssa's angle, she couldn't see what was on it.

Sela's eyes widened. "Ready for another bowl already?"

Alyssa pushed it toward her, nodding.

"I'll get that for you right away." She set the food in front of Alyssa. It looked like a combo platter. It had cheese sticks, onion rings, tiny baked potatoes, egg rolls, quesadilla slices, and little chicken wings. It was enough for two or three, but Alyssa didn't care. Her mouth watered as she tried to decide what to eat first.

She looked up to say thank you, but Sela had already disappeared. Alyssa picked up an egg roll and bit down. It melted in her mouth. It was even better than the food at her favorite Chinese restaurant.

When she had a mouth full of a baked potato, Sela arrived with another fishbowl. Not wanting to be rude by not thanking her twice in a row, Alyssa gave her thumbs-up.

"No problem. Enjoy."