"Because there's nothing to fight for," I said as I got up from my seat.
I looked at my mom and sighed.
"I'm sorry if you feel like I've changed, but I'm tired of pretending. I'm tired of always putting up a front when things are bad. Today, all I want to do is go to school so I can come back here and sulk some more," I said while heading to the door.
My mom went over to the front door and stepped in front of me.
"Charlie, I know what you going through is terrible, but you need to realize that you are a strong person. You can overcome this just like any other situation you face. Just remember that you are a Perry, and a Perry never gives up. They never back down and they never submit to adversity."
I knew what my mom was saying was true, but my heart just wouldn't allow it. Right now I didn't feel strong. I feel like I've been defeated in every way possible.
I smiled at my mom as I went up to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
"I know Mom. I know," I said silently as I walked past her and out the door, leaving my mom shaking her head as if she didn't believe a word I said.
While driving to Belmont, all I could think about was the rough day I was about to experience. All the rumors, the whispers, and the pointing. The mean looks people were going to give me. And the worst part of all, seeing Michael for the first time since our altercation in front of his loft. As I approached Belmont's parking lot, Rebecca Ferguson "Nothing's Real but Love" started to play on the radio. I put my car in park and lay the back of my head on the headrest. A tear started to roll down my cheek as I remembered when Michael and I first kissed. As I closed my eyes for a brief second, I knew that I couldn't stay in my car forever. I had to face the student body. And most of all, I had to face Michael.
"Here I go," I said as I got out of my Mustang.
As I stepped into the familiar halls of Belmont High, I got a taste of what I was up against for the whole day. Practically everyone stopped what they were doing and landed their eyes directly on me. I felt like the whole school became isolated as I started to walk down the hall. The hallway was so still, I swear a pack of wild dogs could have run through there and no one would have noticed. Some people were pointing and talking, while others just gave me evil stares as I walked toward my locker. As I tried to remember my combination, all the memories of Michael and me flashed through my mind. We shared some pretty good memories near my locker. As I opened it, the first thing I noticed was a picture of me and Michael taken at the homecoming game. As I stared at it, I wanted to cry, but I didn't think I had any tears left. As I took out my English book, the thought hit me that I had English first period.
"Damn," I said to myself as I closed my locker.
I didn't think about seeing Brandy and Danielle this early in the morning. Or any time for that matter.
Time to face the music,
I thought as I headed down the hallway.
When I reached Mrs. Waters' English class, I felt like all my energy was starting to drain from me. I didn't know how much I could take of the constant stares and the whispering. But when I saw Brandy's face and the expression she was giving me, I knew it was just the beginning.
I gave Brandy a mean glance as I went to my seat and sat down. I don't know why Brandy is upset with me. I should be the one pissed at her after what she did to me.
As I took out my English book from my tote bag, Brandy looked over at me and started to rant and rave at me as if I was her child with my hand caught in the cookie jar.
"How could you just sit there and draw dirty looks at me after what you've done to Michael. And to think that we were friends. I should have known what you were all about since you came from Parker."
I looked at Brandy with a surprised look on my face. I couldn't believe she was upset with me! What right did she have to lash out at me after keeping a secret like a child from the guy she supposed to be in love with.
I started to laugh at Brandy's rude remark.
"What the hell so funny?"
"You and your behavior. What were you smoking before you came to school? Yeah I admit I did some pretty foul stuff to Michael, but what you've done to him was ten times worse than what I ever could. How could you not tell him that he had a child, Brandy?"
"Don't even go there with me about Michael and my child. That is my business over why I didn't tell him, so leave my child out of this."
"But how could you not tell your child who his father is?"
Brandy jumped up from her seat and came over to me with an angry look on her face.
"I told you to keep my son out of your mouth. Just because you're living a miserable life right now, doesn't mean you can keep talking about my son to make yourself feel better."
"It not even like that Brandy and you know it."
I smiled at Brandy.
"You're glad Michael and I broke up, are you? You probably never wanted us to be together because you wanted him all along. So what's your strategy now that Michael is single? You're going to try to be the good friend and console him during his time of need, or are you going to give him space before you prance on him like a horny female."
Brandy looked at me and smiled.
"Why do you care? I thought you were with your ex-boyfriend. Besides, no matter whom Michael chooses to be with, she will be a whole lot better than you would ever be for him."
"Please Brandy; you don't want Michael to be with anyone else."
"You're right Charlie. I do want Michael, and I will have him. And this time, I'm not letting him go," Brandy said as she went back to her seat.
I sighed as I opened my English book.
Brandy is the least of my problems
, I thought as I turned my head toward the book. Danielle walked in with a huge smile on her face. I assumed the smile she had was due to my expense.
She came over to me and shook her head.
"Who would have thought that you had the guts to come to school today? I guess you are tougher than I thought."
Usually I would have a smart remark to come back on, but today, I didn't have the strength to argue with Danielle.
"Leave me alone, Danielle," I said quietly.
Danielle looked at me as if I told her outfit was on point today. She was actually taken aback by my reaction.
"What's wrong, Charlie? You feel distraught because no one likes you. Well get over it. No one is going to be sympathetic toward you over what happened. Not only are you a cheater, but a criminal too. What a perfect combination for you. I knew what you were all about when I first laid eyes on you. And for that, I think there are some actions that need to be addressed."
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
"Even though I'm not a cheerleader anymore, I still want to see what the future holds for the squad. Since you failed to mention to anyone that you have a criminal record due to assaulting one of your fellow teammates, I believe Brandy should address this to Coach Catchings and have you banned from the squad immediately."
I looked at Danielle and rolled her eyes. No one, especially Danielle, has any authority to have me kick off the squad. The only person who can is Coach Catchings.
"Whatever Danielle. Your threats don't faze me. It's too late in the semester for any changes to occur within the squad. You're not on the squad anymore so your opinions don't matter."
"But mine do," Brandy said abruptly.
I looked at Brandy and shook my head.
"In case you forgot, I am co-captain, so I can try to get you off the squad before the big cheerleading competition next month."
"What if you do? What the hell you're going to do for a captain?"
"I can always get Danielle back on."
I looked at Brandy in disbelief. I couldn't believe she would do this to me? After all I had done to make the team what it is today. The team was nothing before I stepped in and turned everything around!
She can't do this to me. At this point, cheerleading was my life, and if Brandy took that away from me, I'd have nothing left.
"You hate me that much, that you would put Danielle back on the squad?" I asked.
"I'm doing what's best for the team, and right now, you're not it," Brandy said while looking at Danielle.
"Nicely done," Danielle said smiling.
"Thank you for the suggestion."
"You know what; you two can go to hell," I said as I got up from my seat. I grabbed my books and tote bag and started walking toward the door. While going, I knocked into someone coming in, causing him to drop his books on the ground.
"Thanks criminal, for knocking my books down." he said angrily.
I sighed as I rapidly left the room. I had to leave this place before I was actually arrested for assault. I didn't know what else today would bring, but whatever it was, I didn't want to stay and find out. As I was walking toward the exit, I noticed Michael walking in with Chris. I didn't know whether to hold my head high and walk pass him like I didn't know him, or be a coward and walk the other way. I chose my first choice and started to walk past him with my head held high. As I walked toward them, I knew Michael was looking at me. I turned my head toward him and gave him a sad look. But based from his expression, if looks could kill, I would be lying on the floor in an instant. He cut his eyes at me and continued to walk down the hall as if I was nothing to him.
As I watched Michael walking, I realized that coming to school was a huge mistake. I needed to go back to where I belonged. I'm not supposed to be at Parker, but at this point, I didn't even care. At least I knew they wouldn't shun me like everyone at Belmont was doing.
As I was going to my car, I noticed some type of writing plastered on the hood. As I walked closer to the hood, I realized that someone had spray painted the word criminal all over my beautiful car. As tears started to pour from my eyes, I suddenly realized how cruel people could be. It didn't matter if the accusations about me were just that, people were always going to look at me as the girl who came to Belmont with criminal charges and the one who broke Mr. All-American's heart. After a few moments of trying to piece together the recent events that happened in my life, all the hurt and anger that I kept inside of me finally started to release out of me.
"Who did this to my car?" I yelled.
Several people who were still in the parking lot, stopped what they were doing and looked at me with probing looks.
"I said who the hell did this to my car!"
Everyone looked at me for a quick second and continued to go back to what they were doing.
I started to laugh at the lack of attention I was receiving from everybody as I opened my car door and got into the driver's side. Before I did, I looked around at the people walking to class or standing by their cars talking to each other. Just watching the scene unfold in front of me made me think about what I tried to be after walking through the halls of Belmont for the first time. I didn't know it then, but I tried to fit into a scene that I knew I could never be a part of. I wasn't the popular girl that I was when I attended Parker, and the only reason I was for a brief second was because of Michael.
Before I could catch myself, I started to lash out my frustration to anyone that would listen.
"Why do I even bother asking about my car? It not like anyone would tell me anyway. It seems like no matter what I do, you people still look at me as if I'm some sort of alien. I'm sick and tired of trying to fit in with this school and with you people. Sure, I transferred here because of an incident from my other school, and sure, I lied to Michael Collier about my relationship with my ex, but what everyone failed to realize is that I'm human and I tend to make mistakes.
"When everyone found out about Michael's misdeeds, no one jumped to conclusions about him and what he'd done; but as soon as I do something wrong, everyone want to burn me at the stake. But of course no one is going to turn their backs on Michael Collier. Oh no, because Michael is Mr. All-American. He can't do anything wrong. I have learned one thing from this horrible experience, and that is to be true to myself. At first, I didn't want to come to school because I didn't know how people would act toward me, but now, I don't care. I don't need to kiss up to anyone and am certainly not going to. In other words, if no one likes me, then I don't give a damn, because I'm not here to impress anyone."
After I made my impromptu speech, several people looked and nodded their heads in agreement, while others looked at me with smirks on their faces. But the one person I didn't expect to see standing outside was Michael. He looked at me with so much compassion; I thought that maybe he had a place in his heart to forgive me. But instead of coming over to me, he turned around and went back into the building. I sighed and got into my car. I knew I shouldn't run away from my problems, but everyone is entitled to get away from their problems just once in their lives. And that was what I intended on doing.
After several minutes of soul
searching, I finally arrived at Parker High School with a boost of confidence. I felt a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Not only did I feel relaxed, but safe as well. As I parked in the visitor's parking lot, I discreetly got out of the driver's seat and carefully walked away from my car. Hopefully Mr. McCue doesn't catch me walking anywhere on the property, because if he did, I could be arrested. As I was heading toward the student's parking lot, a felt a hand come across my waist and pulled me to the nearest building. Before I could scream, the same hand that grabbed me put his hand across my mouth.
"AHH," I muttered into the person's hand.
"It's me Char."
I looked up and noticed it was Derrick standing beside me.
"What are you doing?" I asked as I threw my arms up to push him away.
"I should be asking you the same thing. I thought you were banned from here."
"I am, sort of. I was having such a bad morning at school, I decided to take my chances and come here."
"You know if Mr. McCue sees you, he might call the police."