Once in a Lifetime (32 page)

"Matthew Dane. The director." But there was a look of regret in her eyes, as though she were sorry Justin had answered the phone. And suddenly he laughed at her and sat on the edge of the tub.

"Don't tell me that my little vestal virgin had an affair with the headmaster at her kid's school." The idea seemed to amuse him and she looked annoyed.

"No, I won't tell you that, Justin, because it's not true. We happen to be friends."

"What kind of friends?"

"Talking friends. Like you and I would have been if you had had any sense." Her voice softened. "He's a nice man and he's been a big help to Andrew."

"Oh, Christ, all those guys in boarding school are fruits, Daff. Don't you know that? He's probably in love with your kid's ass."

There was suddenly fury in her eyes as she looked at him. "That's a disgusting thing to say, and you don't know anything about this. This is a special school, and the people there are absolutely wonderful to those children."

"I'll bet they are." He did not look convinced, and then he glanced at her with an unspoken question. "What do you mean it's a 'special' school? Does he have some kind of a problem?" He remembered suddenly her saying that she had had to leave Andrew there, that she had no choice. A feeling of horror swept over him as he wondered if her son was retarded and she was watching his eyes, as though measuring how much she could trust him. There was a long pause and she nodded.

"Yes, he does. Andrew was born deaf. He's in a school for the deaf in New Hampshire."

"Jesus Christ. You never told me that."

"I don't usually talk about it." She looked sad as she sat in the tub.

"Why not, Daff?"

"Because it's my business and no one else's." She looked almost defiant as she sat there.

"That must be a bitch having a deaf kid."

"It isn't," and as she watched his eyes she knew that he didn't understand, but if he cared about her, he would learn to. "He's a wonderful child, and he's learning all the things he needs to know to function in a normal world."

"That's nice." But he didn't seem to want to know more about it. He bent to kiss her, and then walked back into their bedroom to continue reading his lines.

Daphne got out of the tub, dried herself off, and went to call Matthew from the den. When he answered, he apologized profusely for having called.

"Don't be silly, Matt. I would have called myself, but I've been so damn busy." She didn't explain Justin and she wasn't sure how to, but it was embarrassing to have him find out that he had been there. And Justin had told her that he had said she was in the tub, which she didn't consider an appropriate way of handling her phone calls. What if the press called? But Justin didn't seem to worry particularly about that. He was a lot more accustomed to their harassment than she was, and a lot less worried about his reputation. He already had tarnished that years before. "How's Andrew?"

"He's fine." Matthew gave her all the latest news, but there was a strange awkwardness between them, and the conversation gave neither of them what they had shared before. She wondered if she had talked to him so much because she was lonely, and she felt suddenly guilty for using him to fill her empty nights on the West Coast. And now there was Justin and things were different, but she felt a sense of loss when she hung up.

"Did you call your friend?" Justin teased her when she came back to the bedroom.

"Yes. Andrew's fine." And her eyes told him not to pursue the subject further, and he very wisely did not. Instead he gently unraveled the towel she held around her, and ran a hand slowly up her leg and drifted it to her inner thigh. He pulled her gently toward him then, and they both forgot about her phone call as he pulled her slowly on top of his hungry body and they became one. But after they had made love, and he had gone to sleep, snoring softly beside her, she lay there and thought of Matthew.

The making of Apache moved relentlessly on for the next two months, with no break in sight, and at last Howard gave them all four days off to rest.

"Hallelujah, baby!" Justin was thrilled. "Let's go to Mexico for a few days." But Daphne had other plans.

"I can't. I have to see Andrew. I haven't seen him in almost three months."

"Andrew? Oh, for chrissake. The kid can wait. Can't he?" Daphne looked shocked.

"No, he can't. I wanted him to come out here." Her voice was both hurt and hard. Nothing was going to come between her and Andrew. Not even Justin. And by now she expected him to take an interest in her son, but he didn't. There were some things that mattered to him not at all, and children were one of them. He had no interest in anyone's kids, not even hers. And yet their loving was lavish and there were times when they would talk into the wee hours and she felt certain that she was in love. But she had the feeling sometimes that he was only in love with part of her, and there were other parts that he didn't know at all. Most especially Andrew, who was the major part of her life. "Justin, what do you think? Would you like to meet him?" Maybe if she made him part of her plans he would begin to respond.

"Maybe. But to tell you the truth, babe, I need the rest and in my experience, kids aren't very restful." He sounded neither apologetic or enthused. And she herself wasn't sure if it was wise to fly Andrew out. It was a big trip for four days. In the end she called Matt and asked him what he thought.

"Honestly, Daff. I think that's a long way for him to come just for four days. For any kid his age." Daphne had thought the same thing. She had just wanted him to meet Justin, but maybe it was too soon. Maybe neither he nor Justin was ready. Maybe it would be best to let Justin go his own way for the four days. They could live without each other for four days,-and she could have Andrew to herself. The prospect of that didn't displease her, but she was still disappointed in Justin.

"I think you're right, Matt. I'll fly to New York and drive up."

"That's dumb." She was stunned. She hadn't seen him in almost three months. But he instantly understood her silence and laughed. "I don't mean flying East. I mean flying to New York and driving up. Fly to Boston, and I'll pick you up."

"I can't do that to you. You've got enough to do up there without chauffeuring me around."

"And you've been working almost nonstop for the last five months. Can't I do a favor for a friend?" She had to admit that it would make life easier for her, but it didn't seem fair. Matthew was always thinking about her. "I'm serious. It's no trouble at all." She knew it was, but the offer touched her.

"Then I accept." She checked the schedule she had gotten from the airline in advance, told him what flight she'd be on the next day, and went into the bedroom to pack. She was suddenly excited to see them both, and she could hardly wait to get her hands on Andrew again. She was smiling from ear to ear when she went into the bedroom, and Justin looked at her with his sexy boyish grin.

"You're really crazy about that kid, aren't you, Daff?"

"Yes, I am." She sat down on the bed next to him and planted a soft kiss in the palm of his hand before looking up. "I'd like you to meet him too."

"One of these days," and then after a pause, "Can he talk?"

She nodded. "Yes. Not always clearly, but most of the time." There was an expression in Justin's eyes that troubled her, but somehow she had to ask. "Are you afraid of that? Of dealing with a deaf child, I mean?"

"Not afraid. I'm just not much into kids, normal or abnormal, I guess."

"He's not abnormal. He's deaf."

"Same thing." She wanted to lash out at him then, but she restrained herself.

"I'm going to have him come out in the fall, when we finish the film. You'll meet him then."

"That sounds fine." Because it was three months off? She didn't like his reactions about her child, but there were so many other things about him she did like. And once he knew Andrew, she suspected that his reluctance would be overcome. Andrew was hard to resist, deaf or not.

"What are you going to do while I'm gone?" They all needed the rest, he most of all, and she looked at him with a warm smile.

"I don't know. I wanted to go to Mexico with you." He touched the inside of her thigh. "Sure I can't change your mind?" She smiled. He really didn't understand, and she shook her head.

"Nope, not a chance. Not even like that."

"He must be some kid."

"He is."

"Well, tell him I'm crazy about his mom."

"I will." But she knew she wouldn't tell him about Justin yet. He wouldn't understand that. And in Andrew's eyes she belonged to him, always had and always would. "Are you going to stay here, love?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'll go to San Francisco for a few days to stay with friends."

"Well, let me know where you are, so I can call." They hadn't been apart for a day or an hour in almost three months, and suddenly the thought of being so far away from him made her feel sad. "I'm going to miss you, sir."

"I'll miss you too, Daff." He took her in his arms then and they made love until almost dawn, and then she got a few hours' sleep before she had to get up and catch her plane.

Daphne went to the airport alone in the limousine, Barbara was with Tom and there was no reason for her to go, and Justin said he had things to do. Everyone in the cast and crew was using each precious hour of the four days. She boarded the plane at ten o'clock, and expected to arrive in Boston at seven o'clock in the evening, East Coast time.

The plane came in on schedule, and Daphne was among the first off, looking around for Matthew. She didn't see him at first, but then she spotted him standing twenty feet away, his dark eyes combing the crowd. Suddenly their eyes met and held, and she felt a strange little tug at her heart, which she didn't understand. In six short months he had become her friend, mostly over the phone, but she suddenly realized how happy she was to see him. A warm smile lit his eyes, and he walked slowly toward her.

"Hello, Daff. How was the flight?"

"Too long." And then, without knowing why, she reached up and hugged him. "Thanks for coming, Matt." There was a moment of awkwardness between them.

"You look great." He also noticed that she looked very thin. She'd been working too hard and it showed, but she also looked very happy. There was a smile in her eyes, and something more. Something that troubled him now. There was something different about her than there had been, more womanly perhaps, more overtly sexy. And his thoughts went at once to the male voice that had answered the phone. He tried to force it from his mind, but he couldn't as they went to pick up her luggage. "What have you been doing out there, other than work?" She looked prettier than ever, and something inside him wanted to know why, even though he knew he had no right to. And as she looked at him she smiled, realizing how isolated he was in New Hampshire, and how totally wrapped up in his work. There had been a number of items about her and Justin in the paper, but he had apparently seen not a one. Knowing Matthew as well as she did, she knew he wasn't being facetious.

She smiled again as he picked up her bag. Her eyes teased him gently and he stopped and looked down into her face. "You're looking awfully serious, Matt." She didn't want to explain to him about Justin.

"I'm just happy to see you, Daff ... I'm not quite sure what to say...." Her eyes gently touched his face and she nodded.

"Tell me about Andrew." She felt the questions in his eyes, and she didn't want to answer them. Her life in California was totally separate from this. This was a different life for her. A life she shared with her son. The world of Justin Wakefield seemed ten thousand miles away, and in a way this felt like coming home. She had come home alone, and she wanted to enjoy it.

As they left the airport and made their way north, Matthew told her about the changes at the school, the two new people they had hired, the field trips they'd made, and the camping trip they were all going on in July. She desperately wished that she could be there.

She sighed as she sat beside him in the car. "I feel like I've been there forever, Matt." He wanted to tell her that he felt that way too, but it didn't seem right.

"How much longer do you think it will be?"

"I wish I knew. Three more months, maybe six. It's been going pretty smoothly till now. But everyone tells me that you have to expect it to stretch out. Howard doesn't like that to happen, no one does, but it can't be helped, and I guess that sooner or later there will be some kind of problem. I'll be home by Christmas for sure."

He nodded, disappointment in his eyes. "I'll be ready to leave by then. The new director from London is scheduled to take over on January first."

"You don't think you'll stay, Matt?" She looked sad as she asked.

"No. Howarth is a wonderful place, but I want to get back to the New York School"--he grinned at her then--"I'm not sure I'm cut out for country life. Sometimes I think I'll go nuts up there."

She laughed and watched his face. It was such a strong, handsome face, so different from Justin's golden beauty, but Matt had a beauty of his own, a kind of rugged, solid quality about him that made him more man than idol. "I know what you mean. When I stayed up there for a year, there were times when I even missed the dirt and the noise of New York. ..." She thought of John then and her eyes grew vague.

"Well, I'll tell you." He flashed his smile at her. "I miss the resources we have for the kids in New York. The museums, the ballet..." His voice drifted off. "My crazy sister."

"How is she?"

"Martha? She's fine. The twins turned fifteen last week and they both got stereos for their birthdays. She says she's finally truly grateful that she's deaf. She can feel the furniture tremble when they play them and Jack says he's going nuts." Daphne smiled, wishing it was a problem she would one day have with Andrew. "I still want you to meet her when you have time." They both silently wondered when that would be. For the moment it seemed like never.

He told her then that Mrs. Curtis sometimes visited the school, she was well and always asked to be remembered to Daphne.