Once Forgotten Twice Loved (5 page)

“For the first time in my life, I don’t know what to do or say to someone. I’ve never had a problem with women. I guess I thought it would be simple. I always thought that my mate would be a wolf.”

Nash looked at his Alpha with sympathy in his eyes. “Let’s go downstairs and let her sleep a little bit. I know Ash, she needs to think about this.”

Nash stood and held his hand down to Larken. He reached out and allowed Nash to pull him up. He needed Nash’s support at the moment. Finding his mate had rocked him to his core. Larken thought about how strong he thought he was, but his mate could bring him to his knees. They walked to the elevator and went down to the conference room where everyone was still registering for the conference.

Chapter Four

Jonas Glenn walked up to Larken and Nash. “Is everything alright with your mate?”

Larken smiled, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Let’s go to the bar and get drunk.”

Jonas smiled. “That bad?”

Larken, Nash, and Jonas walked down to the bar that was part of the dining room. They sat down at a table in the corner so prying ears couldn’t hear the conversation. A few of Larken’s Protectors were in the room when he had first seen Ash, so he wasn’t worried about the pack or his family finding out until he knew what to tell them
.
Larken thought about what he was going to say to his pack.
Hey, everyone, I’ve found my mate, Ash, who doesn’t want to be my mate. She wants the right to choose for herself who she will be mated to. So will everyone welcome her to the pack? Yeah, that was going to go over great with the pack.
He may not have a mate to tell them about. He didn’t want any of the jealous females trying to scare Ash away when they did find out. She was human and would need to be protected.
Dammit, Larken, your mate is a human, and she will have to be protected from the women you have been having sex with in the pack. The fact that she isn’t a wolf is not going to sit well with the pack.
Larken knew he had a lot of women in his pack that would take care of Ash. His sisters wouldn’t let any harm come to his mate.

Larken ordered the good stuff that shifters drank because their metabolism burned the alcohol off too quickly. At first, nobody said anything. Jonas sat back in his chair, waiting for his friend to tell him what had happened. Jonas tried to wait patiently, but the suspense was getting the best of him.

“Well?” Jonas asked as he looked back at Larken and Nash.

“Let’s put it this way. She wants a choice to choose her own mate. She is devastated. I guess that is the right word. Right, Nash?”

Larken and Jonas both were looking at Nash as he drank his liquor. “Yep. I mean, yes, sir.”

Jonas smiled then took another drink.

Larken poured the liquor in the shot glass then drank it. He didn’t even let the liquor go down before he poured another shot and drank that one down. Nash watched as his Alpha tried to drink his troubles away.

“Alpha, I have known Ash since I was six years old. She has been beaten down by a lot of people who shouldn’t be on this earth much less taking care of kids. She, well, we grew up together without anything. No family, no possessions of our own. It was a very hard life. Ash hardened her heart a long time ago, vowing never to let anyone hurt her again. I count my lucky stars every day that she allowed me in her life. She has and always will be my best friend. I will protect her to the very end. I wish she would change her mind, but—”

“But she won’t give me a chance,” Larken muttered.

“I don’t know. I feel like with time maybe. Alpha…” Larken looked at Nash, who looked like he held the weight on his shoulders of someone who was conflicted with what to do next. “I don’t know what to tell you. Ash has always been the one to keep us together. She took beatings that should have been mine. She worked two jobs when we ran away so we could eat and live in the shack we rented. She always put herself in the path of danger so I wouldn’t be touched. She looked after me, and I looked after her. Now I feel like I just kicked my best friend in the mouth and told her to suck it up, because if she didn't, then you wouldn’t have a mate. I never gave her feelings a second thought. I understand because I’m a shifter and know how a mating works. Ash isn’t, she only knows about some of it because I told her about mates. Now her choice has been taken away from her. She doesn’t get a say whether or not she wants to spend the rest of her life with you. That choice has been taken away.”

Larken bowed his head. He heard Nash put the guilt trip on Ash. The table fell silent.

“Jonas, if you were me, what would you do?”

Jonas stared at Larken, not knowing what to say. He shook his head. “I don’t know, my friend. I know that I have waited a long time for a mate, and I hope like hell she is a wolf because then she would understand.” Larken snorted at Jonas.

“Yeah, for your sake, buddy, I hope she is a wolf, too.” Larken snorted again, shaking his head.

“Alpha, just give her some time. I trust Ash with my life, and I think she will come around.” Nash smiled at Larken, not knowing if what he said was truthful or not, but hoping that she would at least give it a try.

They sat at the table drinking, trying not to talk about Ash or mates. Larken made the decision that he would try to give Ash some space and allow her to get to know him.

***

Ash lay on the bed, praying that when she opened her eyes again this would be a bad dream. She opened her eyes, stared at the ceiling, and knew it wasn’t a dream or nightmare. This was reality at its worst. The alcohol didn’t help except to give her a headache. Ash got up from the bed, and looked in her bag for something to take for the headache.

“Nothing. Dammit. Why does shit always find me?” Ash muttered aloud. Ash picked up the phone and called downstairs to the reception desk. Everyone was so nice and polite. Gail, at the front desk, said that someone would be up shortly with something.
Was everyone who worked here a werewolf
? They were all beautiful and sweet.

***

Gail dialed her Alpha’s phone number.

“Hello.”

“Alpha, Ms. Peters called just now, wanting something for a headache. Do you want one of the bellboys to take it up or get someone else?” Gail knew the answer before her Alpha told her he would come by and take it up to her. Gail liked her Alpha. She knew he was a good leader as Alpha to her pack. He provided jobs for anybody in the pack who needed one, paid great wages, and gave extravagant bonuses. Gail knew that other packs didn’t do that for its members. Larken and his family were different. She knew other packs didn’t have an Alpha like Larken Wilder.

Larken had instructed the reception desk that if Ms. Peters in room 314 needed anything to tell him first, and he would take care of it. She was considered an elite guest. This meant she was important to the pack or better yet, to the Alpha.

***

Ash stood in front of the mirror looking at her face. She had just washed the mascara off her eyes. She looked like she had raccoon eyes or had been in a boxing match where her opponent used her face as a punching bag. Her face and neck were blotchy and red. She knew she needed to get a grip with this and figure out what to do. She knew she didn’t want the man to never have a mate. He was good-looking and yes, his body was to die for, with all the muscles pushing out of the nice shirt he had on. He was more than good-looking. He was her fantasy man. The one she dreamed of at night. She loved his dark hair and the fact he was tall and would look down at her. He made her toes curl, which nobody had ever done. She only fantasized about him but never actually believed he existed. But that wasn’t enough.

Now what? I mean it’s not like he was hard on the eyes
.
What has happened to you, Ash? You are letting yourself fall for this man. He isn’t a man. Dammit, that doesn’t matter for God’s sake. Your best friend is a wolf, and you love him with all your heart.
Ash felt heat between her legs and all through her body just thinking about the man. She never let anyone get close to her, never wanted to be disappointed again. Ash wanted that control, and it was always her choice. If she let that go, then he would take over completely, and the choice would never be hers again.
Okay, I have made the decision. I will not let this man run me over and make decisions for me. I will stick with the plan I have always had. Stay in control. Stay in control. You can do this.

Ash was about to take her clothes off and take a shower when she heard a knock at the door.

***

Larken stood on the other side of his mate’s door, dreading the look on her face. He hoped she would be smiling at him, but in his case, she would probably slam the door in his face. He knew he couldn’t stay away long. Before he had time to think about what he was doing, the door opened. She had been crying, but she was still beautiful. He said it out loud before he realized it, “You can’t hide true beauty.”

Ash couldn’t help it, but she smiled. Larken took that as a good sign and smiled back. He held up the bottle of Advil. “I brought up the medicine for you.” Ash reached out to get it, but Larken put his hand down quickly before she could take it. “It has a safety lock on it. You know, adult proof. Do you mind if I come in, and I will take it off for you?”

Ash knew what he was doing, but she needed to get to know the man. She owed Nash that much.

Ash stepped back and held the door open wider for Larken to step into her room. She could smell Larken when he walked in—and he smelled divine. He had black hair with the bluest eyes she had ever seen. His eyes almost glowed when he smiled—they were beautiful. He had two dimples in his cheeks, one on each side. She wanted to stick her tongue inside them. Basically, Ash wanted to lick him all over. He had on some type of cologne she didn’t recognize but whatever it was, smelled great. Plus she could tell he smelled good even without the cologne on. He had his own unique scent; the kind that smelled like fresh snow and the outdoors.
What a combination
, Ash thought.

You can do this, Ash. Hold your breath and don’t inhale his scent. God, he smells good. Better than good. I want to lick him all over. Don’t look at him and shut up, Ash, and close the door.

Larken walked in quickly before she changed her mind. He walked over to the mini-bar, reached down, grabbed a bottle of water, and held out two pills for her take. Ash reached down and picked the two pills up out of his hand. When her fingers met his hand, she could feel the soft current flow up her hand.
Now what. Did he feel that current? When I really touch him, will it feel like a bolt of lightning hitting me?
She looked up at Larken when she felt the current, and he was staring at her. It looked like an ocean was storming inside of his eyes, he had so much emotion in them. He was gorgeous. She had to look away for fear of reaching out and touching him. Ash took the pills and walked over to the two chairs that sat to the side of her bed.
Just sit down, Ash, and don’t touch him for God’s sake.

Ash sat down in one of the chairs, feeling like it hugged her body. She loved the way the chairs felt when she sat down. Both chairs were a tan color with different color designs on them. She reached down and ran her hands up and down the arms of the chair, feeling the soft texture they were made of. She didn’t know what to say so she said the first thing that came to her mind. “I love these chairs. Did someone around here make them?”

Larken smiled, walked over, and sat in the other chair across from her. “Yes. Rod and Jana Tracy make them here in Freedom. They are part of my pack. They have a great business and make all kinds of furniture. I could take you sometime this week to see what all they have. They have a warehouse down the mountain in town.”

“I would like that.” Ash smiled then looked down at the chair.

A few moments passed without any conversation.

“I don’t know what to do or say,” Ash whispered.

Larken leaned forward in his chair. He was about to touch her leg but kept his hand down beside him. He wanted to sit on them, so he didn’t reach out to her.

“I know. Me either. For the first time in my life, I don’t know what to do or how to act. I’m afraid I will run you off. Maybe we can just take it slow and get to know each other. How about that?” Larken knew he didn’t want to push her, so he would ease into it and let her get to know him and his family. Larken wasn’t afraid to use all his wolfie skills to win her over. He knew he would be crazy after all the seduction he planned to use, but looking at her, Larken knew this was the right move.

Stay strong, Ash, just tell him no, that you think it would be best if you just went home. That’s what you want,
right?
“Yes, I would like that,” Ash said as she blew out her breath. She looked up at Larken because it was loud when she did it.

Larken smiled and chuckled. “Feel better?”

“Yes.” Ash giggled.
Now you have done it. You let your guard down and look at yourself, smiling and giggling at him. But boy, he smells good and looks good.

“Now that that is over and decided, would you like to go to dinner with me?”

Ash looked conflicted at what to do because she had already told Nash she would go with him.

Here is your way out, Ash, tell him no.
“Umm, I would like to, but I told Nash that I would go to dinner with him.”

“Well, if it’s okay with Nash, maybe we could all go together, then it won’t be so awkward and we could get to know each other better.” Larken knew Nash would bow out if he asked him to, but this would be better. Maybe this would help her relax and get to know him.

“I would like to take a shower first, if you could give me an hour.” Ash stood, putting her bottle of water on the table.

“Sure. I can wait.” Larken never got up, which made Ash feel funny. She didn’t want to be rude and ask him to leave, but she would. Before she could tell him, Larken stood and walked to the door.