Once Forgotten Twice Loved (4 page)

Nash knew Ash was fixing to bolt, and you never run from a wolf. They loved the chase. Nash pushed Ash behind him slowly. As he did, Larken growled even louder. Nash held his hands up trying to let Larken, his Alpha, know he wasn’t hurting Ash. Larken moved over so he could keep his eyes on Ash.

She didn’t like the look in his eyes. The look of possession was staring back at her. Ash started getting angry. “You. Back off.”

Nash looked over at Ash, whispering for her not to anger the wolf. “You don’t know how powerful he is, Ash, just calm down.”

“He doesn’t know what I’m capable of either, Nash, so you might want to think about that.” Nash looked conflicted at what to do. Ash made it easy. She turned and slowly walked away from the Alpha. As she turned around, Larken looked as if he was going to change and give chase. Nash knew if that happened, Ash would try to hurt him out of fear. Larken didn’t know how powerful she was, and if she felt threatened then she would protect herself.

Jonas Glenn watched everything take place, and knew that Larken’s wolf was close to the surface, looking like he was going to chase the woman. He came up beside Larken very slowly. “Larken, she is a human. I take it she's your mate?”

Larken shook his head ‘yes’ while tracking with his eyes where Ash was walking to. Larken was already in a semi-crouched position getting ready to chase Ash. “Yes, she is my mate,” Larken growled, his wolf peering out through his eyes.

“It looks like she is already taken with one of your men. Get control of yourself, Larken, people are watching. Some are human.” Jonas put his hand on Larken’s shoulder.

Larken stood and inhaled her scent. She smelled like fresh cut apples.

Nash walked up to Larken with a worried expression on his face. “Alpha! What’s wrong?”

“Who is that woman, is she your friend, Nash, or your girlfriend?”

“Ashland is my family,” answered Nash.

Larken looked down toward the ground, blowing the air he was holding out of his lungs, thankful she wasn’t Nash’s lover. That would put a strain on their relationship.

“I told you she was coming, Alpha. That woman is Ashland Peters from the orphanage. She is my best friend. We grew up together.” Nash looked at his Alpha, worried that Ash had done something to upset the Alpha. Nash knew Larken wouldn’t hurt Ash, but something was wrong.

“I’m sorry, cousin, but Ashland is my mate. You put your hands on her. I can’t control it. It’s just the need to control her, to protect her.”

Nash put his hand to his face trying not to get sick. Ashland couldn’t be his mate. He said control her. She would freak out and blame him for bringing her here.

“No, she can’t be.” Nash bent down to the floor. His head was spinning. Ashland couldn’t be his mate. She would fight him, and he would chase her until she submitted. Larken didn’t know her strengths or fears. He needed to find Ash before Larken did. Ash was going to be here for one week. They had planned so much around this trip. He knew now this would only cause trouble. Ash would not accept Larken—the control part would be a problem for her, especially. Her heart was big, but she hid it from everyone except him—sometimes she even hid it from him.

“Nash, I must find her and tell her that she is my mate. Explain to her that she is who I’ve been looking for my whole life.” Larken could see the anguish on Nash’s face. He reached out, putting his hand on Nash’s shoulder. “What’s wrong, Nash?” Larken asked.

“You don’t know her, Larken. She may be your mate, but she isn’t yours. She is human, and she has been through a lot growing up. In the orphanage, Ash had it rougher than all of us did. Her beauty attracted predators. She was strong-willed, which they tried to beat out of her. She was beaten a lot as a child and young adult in the Atlanta orphanage. Then we were sent to the orphanage in New York. We stuck together, and we ran away when we were sixteen. She doesn’t date much unless she is in control, Alpha. You think you are a control freak; well, your mate is ten times worse. She knows no other way. If you push her too far, she will bolt or worse.”

“What could be worse than my mate leaving me?”

Nash brushed his hand through his hair trying to think of a way to get Larken to back off until he could find Ash. “Alpha, you must give me time to talk to Ash. If you go to her now, then she will run.”

Larken agreed but told Nash he had to hurry because his wolf was fighting him, wanting his mate. “Okay, Nash, but you must make her understand.”

Nash never responded and retreated in the direction that Ash ran. Nash headed to the reception area but didn’t see her anywhere. He knew she was on the third floor in a suite so Nash rode the elevator, hoping to find her in her room. When he got off the elevator, he could smell Ash. He ran to her room and knocked on the door. He could smell her inside and heard her walk to the door. She didn’t immediately open the door, so Nash suspected she was checking to see who was at the door before she opened it. The door flew open and Ash threw herself into Nash’s arm. He could feel her shaking. She was very upset with what the man said.

“Who was that?” Ash asked as she tried to calm down. Nash held her as he came into the room and pushed the door closed.

“Calm down, baby. Listen, come sit on the bed. I have a lot to tell you. Can you sit on the bed and listen to me?” Picking her up, he walked to the bed. Nash reached over, grabbed the box of tissues off the table, and told her to wipe her eyes and blow her nose.

She knew this wasn’t going to be good.

“Okay, that man was my Alpha—Larken Wilder. Remember, Ash, Larken is my cousin.”

“Yes, I remember that, but why was he growling at us like that. He looked like he was going to attack us, or me.”

Nash laughed, but the laugh wasn’t meant to be funny. “Well, he didn’t like the fact that I had my hands on you.”

Ash’s face turned as red as a beet. “He doesn’t decide who can touch me. Who does he think he is?”

“Well, baby, he says that you are his mate.” Nash worriedly watched for Ash’s reaction.

“What the fu—?” Before Ash could finish, Nash put his finger over her mouth, silencing her.

“Ash, listen to me before you go off, okay?” Ash blew out the breath of frustration and looked at Nash, rolling her eyes. “Ash, I have told you about how we meet our mates and what happens when we do. Just listen to me before you ask any questions.” Nash started rubbing circles on Ash’s wrists, trying to calm her down so she would actually listen. “When we find our mate, it’s like the world around us stops. We only see our mate. We worship that person. Nobody exists to us but our mate. We will never look at another woman or flirt with one. We take care of our mate. We make sure all her needs are met. But...”

Shit, she knew it. There is always a BUT.

“But, Ash, we are very possessive of our mate. Our wolf doesn’t want our mate to be touched by another male or even looked at. It’s a control thing for us.”

Ash could see how sad this made Nash. It tore her heart out because she knew how much Nash wanted a mate. He had talked about it since he was little. He would walk down the streets in New York with Ash asking: is that your mate, do you feel anything for her, or don’t you think she is pretty? Nash never got mad for kidding with him, but she knew it hurt because he really didn’t know if he would ever find his mate.

“I may never find my mate, Ash, and it will be a real tragedy. I will never know real love and friendship with that person. The Alpha has found his, and it is you, Ash. He will love you and give you a family. We never had a family, Ash. I know you want one, just like me. I have found family here in Freedom. You can too, Ash, and we all can be a true family. I know this comes as a shock, but will you please just hear him out and get to know him. Larken is a great man. He is very well liked here and in the wolf community.” Before Nash could finish talking, Ash was up pacing the floor.

She went straight to the mini-bar and pulled out the little bottles of tequila. She took out two shot glasses and started pouring the clear liquid into the glasses. After handing one to Nash, Ash picked up her glass of liquid courage and poured it down her throat. The liquid burned going down to her stomach and she coughed then immediately poured herself another shot. She clicked her glass with Nash’s glass then poured the second shot down her throat. So much was going through her head.
What is going on? I don’t want to be somebody’s mate. This is a man who can’t handle my relationship with Nash.
The man growled at me for God’s sake. Mate? What have I gotten myself into? I just got here and now Nash’s Alpha is saying that I’m his mate. Well, I hate to tell him, but I’m nobody’s mate. Maybe he does this with all the ladies.

Nash stood, watching Ash closely. He felt terrible bringing her here. He didn’t know if she would be able to handle being Alpha female to the pack. Nash knew she could handle any danger, but it was the emotional baggage Ash had that worried him.

“I don’t know what you want from me, Nash,” Ash asked as she poured Nash and her another shot.

“Just know that this is Larken’s only chance to find a mate. Get to know him. Can you do that?”

Ash looked up at him and turned her head sideways. “You don’t make it easy on a girl. The guilt trip you are putting on me is beneath you, Nash.” Ash looked away and continued to pour shots.

Nash knew it would take four to five bottles for the alcohol to make him tipsy, but Ash was human to a degree, and she was well on her way to being drunk and face down on the floor. “I’m sorry, Ash. I know I am. I just don’t want Larken or you to miss out. You may learn to love him. I know you don’t truly understand how the wolf feels when they find their mate, but the emotions are heightened and they want to be around their mate all the time.”

Ash laughed, but her laugh wasn’t meant to be funny. Ash was starting to become hysterical. She shook her head and continued to get more bottles of alcohol out of the mini-bar.

“Love… What are you talking about? I don’t have time for love and what comes with it. Being someone’s mate isn’t in me, Nash. You of all people should know this. You’re acting as if this is a done deal. What about what I want, Nash? Did you or this Alpha think about that? Why hell no. Me man you woman. You do as I say.” Ash was walking around the room, beating her chest while she held her shot glass. She continued to pace, becoming more pissed off as she went.

“Ash, believe me, baby, when I say I understand your point. I know this is hard, but if you don’t become his mate, then he will go through life without one. If we are lucky enough we get one in our lifetime, and that’s only if.”

“Again you are putting the guilt all on me, Nash. I don’t get a say in this. I might as well just lie down and let him fuck me. You see, I really don’t get a choice in this. If I don’t mate with him, then your Alpha will never have a mate, and you will never forgive me for that and you...” Ash couldn’t finish. Nash was all she had in life. All the emotions she had bottled up had just dropped out of her. She slumped to the floor crying. She couldn’t catch her breath. She was starting to have a panic attack. Nash rushed to grab her before she fell to the ground. Her crying turned into sobbing.

It tore his heart out. He knew he was putting the guilt trip on her pretty thick.
She didn’t deserve this
, he thought, as he rushed to her side, pulling her into his lap.

“Oh, Ash, my beautiful girl. I’m so sorry.” Nash sat on the floor, rocking Ash back and forth. “You are right this isn’t fair to you or to Larken. Everybody deserves a chance at love and the right to pick that person. But, Ash, I have to believe you were chosen for him for a reason. That maybe he is what you have been looking for. You will be with me, and we can all be a family. Larken has a big family. This is your chance. I will help you, Ash, every step of the way.” Ash had stopped crying. Nash could tell she was listening to him. He knew he was laying it on thick. He hated himself for doing this to her, but Nash prayed Ash would give in. He always felt Ash should be there with him as a family. He would never feel complete until she was there and part of his family.

Ash pulled her head up, scrambling to get out of Nash’s lap. “Take it easy, Ash. Don’t get mad. Just take all this in. You don’t have to make a decision today. Dinner will be served in the dining hall in about two hours. Let’s you and me go eat, and we can talk about it later. Is that okay with you?”

Ash tensed up. Nash was acting as if this was a done deal. Not having a choice in the matter was starting to piss her off. “I just need to be alone right now. I can’t think right now, my head is hurting. Just leave me alone for a while.”

Ash stood and walked over to the door, opening it. Nash stood and walked slowly to the door. “Ash, I love you…you are my best friend and my family. I’m here for you.”

Ash blew out her breath, trying to control her feelings. “Just go, Nash.” Ash never smiled. The tears continued to fall down her checks. It was as if a dam had opened up and the water kept flowing. Nash reached out to touch Ash’s face, but she pulled back from him. Nash’s heart broke at that moment. He didn’t know if it would ever be right again. He felt like he had just betrayed his best friend.

As soon as Nash was clear of the door, Ash slammed it shut. He could hear the locks turning in the door. He knew that Ash didn’t understand what was going on. She was a human and Larken was a wolf. Of course Larken would move right into the mating. He understood, but Ash didn’t. Nash sighed and pushed his fingers through his hair. Ash would never be the same now.

Nash felt someone behind him. He quickly turned around to see Larken sitting on the floor beside Ash’s door. He looked like a whipped puppy.

“Alpha?”

Larken continued to stare at the ground, defeat showing in his slumped shoulders.

“I take it you heard what she said?” Nash walked over to his Alpha and squatted down in front of him.

Larken looked up at Nash. “You can’t blame her for being mad. She does deserve a choice. We all do. Unfortunately, we know it’s different for us. This is the hand I’m dealt.” Larken blew out a breath trying to rein his wolf in. He wanted to knock on her door and slam her to the wall, bed, or whatever surface he found first. Sex was natural to shifters. This was never going to work.