On This Day (16 page)

A
pasted-on smile across my face, I watch as the wedding party parades back down the aisle. Jenny and Michael look truly happy as they lead the procession, and the way he’s holding on to her hand makes me wonder if he’ll ever let go. They really are a handsome couple. Catherine must be so pleased. So proud. And I’m happy for all of them. Jenny seems sweet, and she’ll probably make a wonderful sister-in-law. Of course, I’m sure Catherine will always be comparing the two of us from now on. And I have no doubt about which one of us is going to end up looking bad.

More than anything I hope to catch David’s eye now that the ceremony is over. I’m hoping he’ll look right at me and give me that incredible smile—the smile that originally won my heart back in college. But just when he is only a few feet away, the bridesmaid he’s escorting, Ingrid, says something, and he throws back his head
and laughs. It’s just a little thing. And I’m sure they’re relieved to be done with the wedding, but it pricks my heart like a thorn. And for some unexplainable reason, it seems to confirm that David did choose wrong. He is so handsome, so witty, so charming. He really does belong with these people—the beautiful people. Not dowdy little me.

Of course, I keep smiling. And I chitchat with David’s relatives as we’re excused by rows. David’s great-aunt Gladys asks me how Amy’s doing, and I tell her I’m about to go check on her now.

“Will you bring her down later?” she asks hopefully. “I haven’t even seen the little darling yet.”

I nod. “Yes, I promised Grandpa Alex that he could dance with her tonight.”

“Oh, good!”

As we walk down the aisle together, she chatters on about what a lovely ceremony it was, how she can’t remember ever attending an outdoor wedding like this before. “And that little Jennifer.” She sighs happily. “Why, I’ve never seen a more beautiful bride.”

“Nor have I,” I say a bit stiffly, remembering that Aunt Gladys came to our wedding too. “Catherine and Alex must be so thrilled.” Naturally, I don’t add,
Especially considering what a loser their other daughter-in-law has turned out to be
. But it’s what I’m thinking.

“Oh, they are thrilled, dear. They truly are.”

Finally we go through the last arbor out to the lawn beyond. Aunt Gladys waves to someone else and hurries over to rave, I’m sure, about what a treasure Jenny is to their family. I know it’s not
Jennys fault, and I really do think she’s a good person. I just so want to get out of here.

Guests congregate in small huddles now. And I hear bits and pieces of people’s comments on what a lovely wedding, what a beautiful bride … But I’m only looking for David, hoping he’ll join me now that his responsibilities to Michael and the wedding are pretty much over. And maybe everything can start returning to normal at last. I stand on the sidelines and observe as the wedding party gathers back near the lodge. I’m sure they’re congratulating themselves for a job well done. Then suddenly Michael and Jenny take off running across the lawn and straight toward the lake. I can’t imagine what they plan to do. Jump in perhaps?

I move over to where I can see them better, then notice the rest of the wedding party chasing after them, yelling and hollering like my second graders playing tag at recess. David is with them, actually leading the pack, taking long strides to catch up with the newly-weds. I make my way down to the shoreline in time to see Michael gracefully depositing Jenny into a canoe.

And it hits me—it is
so beautiful
Not just the scene, although it’s amazing with the lake’s surface now reflecting the mountains, but the caring gesture of Michael’s reaching down to make sure Jenny’s gown isn’t in the water and the way he looks into her eyes as he carefully gets into the canoe, as if to assure her that he won’t tip the whole thing over.

For some reason this totally gets to me. So romantic, so perfect, so incredibly sweet. And as Michael rows them across the peaceful
lake, I feel a huge lump lodge itself in my throat, and I’m afraid I’m about to cry. It’s possible that my baby hormones are still on the rampage, but I think there’s something more as well. Some sort of deep regret or unspoken worry or something I can’t even put my finger on at the moment. I feel as if someone’s tied a huge stone around my neck and tossed me into the lake where I am going down, down, down.

“Hey, Laura,” calls David when he sees me. “Wasn’t that awesome?”

I nod without speaking.

“You okay, hon?”

“Yeah,” I manage to say “I just wanted to tell you that I’m going to our room now. It’s time to feed Amy.”

“Great. And then you’ll bring her down for the dinner?”

“Yeah,” I say, turning away so he won’t see the tears welling up in my eyes. I know I can’t explain what’s wrong with me when I don’t even know for sure myself. “See you in a bit,” I say lightly.

“Need any help up there?” he offers as I walk away, but I suspect by the way he says it that he hopes I don’t. I can tell he’d rather stay down here, down where the action is. And that’s probably for the best, anyway.

“No thanks,” I call back. “It’s pretty much a one-woman job.”

I can hear him laughing as I go, as if I’ve said something terribly clever.

I see Margaret making her way back to the lodge too. She is walking so slowly that I feel concerned for her. It’s as if she can
barely move her feet up the gently sloped trail that leads to the lodge. I’m worried that she’s worn herself out today. And that worry instantly turns to guilt as I realize how I allowed the poor woman to watch my Amy this afternoon while I slept. I hurry to catch up with her. “Hello, Margaret,” I say as I take her arm in mine and slow my pace to match hers. “Wasn’t the wedding beautiful?”

“Oh, hello, Laura dear. Yes, it was truly lovely.”

“You must be so proud of your granddaughter,” I say quickly. She sounds a bit out of breath, and I decide to carry the conversation so she can focus her energy on walking. “Jenny was so beautiful. And the way Michael looked at her when she went down the aisle … Well, I thought the poor man was going to fall over.” I chatter on and on, reminding myself of Great-Aunt Gladys. But by the time we reach the lodge, Margaret is smiling.

“Thank you for escorting me up here, dear,” she says as I hold the door open for her and follow her in.

“Hey, Mom,” calls Jenny’s father. “Did you see that crazy getaway in the canoe?”

She nods and smiles. “Wasn’t that sweet?”

“I’ll see you later,” I tell her. At least she’s in safe hands now. I’m sure her son will look after her.

I feel slightly cheered as I go up the stairs. I’m not sure if it’s the result of putting Margaret’s needs above my silly emotions or if it’s because I finally get to escape the wedding crowd and see my sweet little angel.

By the time I reach the hallway, several doors from our room,
I can hear her screaming. She’s crying so loudly I’m sure she must be hurt. With pounding heart and images of bleeding, broken bones, and a concussion from a fall, I run as I fumble through my purse for my room key. Oh, why did I leave her with a baby-sitter?

A
re you okay?” Jason asks me suddenly, breaking through the hurricane noise in my head.

Am I okay?
Okay?
Jason is breaking our engagement. He’s found “someone else.” Someone he loves more than he loves me. And he wants to know if I’m okay? How stupid is this guy? And as crazy as it seems, despite my earlier doubts—my almost certainty that I was through with him—I cannot believe he’s the one dumping me. Did I hear him right? Is it true that
Jason is actually dumping met

“I’m sorry, Ingrid,” he’s saying now. I try to make myself focus on him, to make sure I’m really getting this right. “I know this must hurt a lot. And I feel rotten to break it to you like this today. But I just couldn’t go on pretending any longer. I’m sorry to hurt you. But this just happened, you know. I couldn’t help it.” He runs
his hands through his hair in that desperate way I find slightly irritating. “I’m going to leave right now,” he says in a firm voice, as if he’s the parent and I’m the child. “I’ve got to get back to the city. But I just had to talk to you before I went back. Do you understand?”

“Do I understand?”
I stare at him as if he’s a complete stranger. Like, who is this guy? Studying his features, I try to remember exactly what attracted me to him in the first place. Because right now, at this very moment, I totally hate his guts.

“Ingrid? Can’t you understand? These things just happen…”

Now I explode. “You show up at my best friend’s wedding and then casually tell me that you’re breaking our engagement, that you’ve found ‘someone else,’ and I’m
supposed to understand!”
I stand up now, feeling seriously enraged. “What kind of jerk are you, anyway?”

“I’m really sorry, Ingrid.” He stands up and looks over his shoulder to see if anyone else can hear us. I follow his gaze and see Jenny’s aunt and uncle walking nearby. Oh how I don’t want to be seen by anyone right now. But Elizabeth’s eyes meet mine, and I can tell she knows something is wrong.

“I wanted to tell you about this all last week,” he’s saying, “but you were so obsessed with this wedding stuff, it’s like you were checked out. Anyway, I just never got the chance to really talk to you.”

“I cannot believe you!” I yell, forgetting my concerns about being overheard. “I cannot believe your nerve, Jason! How long
has this been going on? How long have you been cheating on me with someone else?”

He looks down at his feet now. “I really should go, Ingrid. This is a bad scene. And like I said, I’m really sorry. I hope you’ll be okay.”

“Okay?” I say for the umpteenth time. “You hope I’ll be
okay
? You drop a bombshell like this, and you
hope
I’m okay?” I sink back down to the bench and actually start to cry. I’m not even sure why. I should be glad that it’s come to this, that it’s finally over. But I still feel betrayed. I can’t even wrap my mind around the whole thing. Maybe I’m just angry.

He sits down beside me, puts his hand on my back, and says nothing. As I cry, I begin to realize how totally silly I really am. I mean, here I had planned to break up with him, but he beat me to the punch, and now I’m going to pieces. How ridiculous is that? I finally stop crying and look up at him. And when I see his face, the tightness of his jaw, the creased concern of his forehead—like maybe he really does feel like a rotten jerk—I actually begin to laugh.

He looks more puzzled than ever. “What is it?”

I can’t help myself, and I start to laugh even harder, the way you do when you’re not supposed to laugh, like when you’re at a funeral and something sets you off. I can’t control myself, or maybe I’m hysterical. But I just laugh and laugh until my sides begin to hurt.

“Ingrid,”
he persists. “What is it? What on earth is wrong with you? Are you all right?”

I finally manage to get a hold of myself. “I’m sorry, Jason,” I say breathlessly. “It’s just that it is kind of funny.”

“Funny?” He looks totally confused now.

“Well, the truth is, I was considering breaking up with you.” I start to giggle all over again.

“You
were going to break up with me?” Now he’s the one who looks incredulous. “No way!”

I nod. “Way!”

“I don’t believe you. You’re just saying this to get even with me. It’s because of your pride, Ingrid.”

I shrug. “Hey, think what you want, Jason, but it’s the truth. You want to hear what is even worse? I was already nurturing a little crush on one of Jenny’s cousins. Can you believe it? In fact, that’s what really got my attention. I thought, how can I be so obsessed with Patrick when I’m engaged to Jason?”

Now he looks hurt. To be honest, I don’t really care. Or not much, anyway. After all, he asked for it. And he’s the one who brought this on tonight. He’s the one who cheated on me.

“Who’s Patrick?”

“Just a guy”.
Just a really nice guy who is way more thoughtful than you
.

“Are you kidding?”

Okay, now I feel a little guilty. Why am I treating him like this? Why not just consider the fact that he’s doing me a great big favor? “I’m sorry,” I say in a more contrite tone. “No, I’m not kidding. I had planned to break up too. So, really, Jason, you shouldn’t feel
bad.” I sigh and shake my head. “Don’t beat yourself up, okay? I mean, seriously, we just weren’t meant to be. I’m glad we found out now instead of further down the line or even after our own wedding.”

“Yeah, I guess.” But he doesn’t look completely convinced, almost as if he might be having second thoughts. Or maybe it’s just the old “I want what I can’t have” thing.

“Jason, I’m sorry I lashed out at you when you told me. I guess I was a little shocked.”

“You and me both.” He studies me now. “So you’re really into this other guy? More than me?”

“What can I say?” I hold up my hands and give him my most innocent face. “And for what it’s worth, it’s probably just a passing crush. But it was kind of a wake-up call for me too. The truth is, I think I’d gotten caught up in the idea of a wedding more than anything else. Early on it was so exciting to plan this whole thing with Jenny. And I guess I thought it would be fun to have a wedding of my own. Then you asked me to marry you, and I thought, okay, here we go. But I hadn’t really considered the whole marriage part of the deal. Not really, anyway.”

His expression is a mixture of relief and deflation. I have no doubt he’ll get over me. I mean, he was pretty much over me before anyway. Oh, his pride may take a bit longer now. Same as mine. But I think we’ll both be able to move on just fine. I hold out my hand for a handshake. “How about if we part as friends, both equally to blame in all this, okay?”

He pauses, then takes arid shakes my hand. “Yeah, I guess we should be glad that we just avoided what could’ve been the biggest mistake of our lives, huh?”

I nod.

“Not that you’re not a cool girl, Ingrid. You are. But, well, you know …”

I give him a weak smile. “Yeah, I know.”

“Now if you don’t mind, I think I’ll split, okay?”

“No problem.”

I stay on the bench as he walks away, taking a moment to clear my head. Despite what I just said, I am still pretty shocked and more hurt than I care to admit, even to myself. I mean, it’s not every day that a girl gets dumped at her best friend’s wedding. I feel blindsided. Like someone just ripped the rug right out from under me. And it doesn’t feel so good. I know it’s probably all for the best, but it’s still unsettling. The idea that Jason was seeing another girl! And that I didn’t even know it, that I was totally clueless. Well, it’s pretty disturbing.