Noble Hearts 03 - The Courageous Heart (29 page)

Simon nodded to the driver of the carriage and turned
towards
Ethan.
His face was crisscrossed with thick scars, distorting the corner of his nose
and mouth.
He blinked in recognition, eyes narrowing.

“Where is the Lady Madeline?” he
demanded
in a voice that was every bit as cool as
Ethan
remembered.
He
stepped
away from the carriage
with a pronounced limp, a reminder of his wounds
.

The urgency of the situation rushed back to
Ethan
. He checked up and down the street to be sure that no one was watching them. “Come this way,” he said, hurrying Simon out of the street and into the courtyard in back of the inn.

“Simon!” Madeline’s cry was loud enough to be heard from the street. It set Ethan’s nerves on edge. Madeline didn’t seem to care about revealing herself. She dropped the sewing in her hands and leapt from her seat to run across the garden and into Simon’s arms. “Oh Simon, it’s been a nightmare!” she bawled against his shoulder.

“There, there, my lady,” Simon soothed her. “I’m here now.”

Rebecca rose from where she had been sitting next to Madeline, baby Meg in her arms. Wulfric brightened at the new arrival and imitated Madeline, running with outstretched arms. But it was Ethan’s leg that he grabbed onto and hugged.

“Jack
and Crispin
a
re
prisoner
s
in the Tower and I’ve been ill and
the letters Joanna
has
written to Aubrey aren’t
being delivered
,” Madeline spilled out their story in huge sobs as Ethan instinctively picked Wulfric up.
The boy hugged him as
Ethan
searched the garden for any sign of Joanna.

“I am here to help you, my lady,” Simon silenced Madeline’s weeping with an embrace that was more fatherly than subservient. Madeline clung to him like a frightened child. The scene raised a lump in Ethan’s throat.

“Where is Joanna?” he interrupted.

Madeline was beyond answering and
Simon had just arrived. Ethan turned to Rebecca.

“I thought she was at the Tower,” Rebecca shrugged, bouncing Meg as the baby began to fuss.

The only answer Ethan could give was to shake his head. Wulfric tapped hard on his shoulder. “Not now, little man,” Ethan ignored him.

“She’s in there,” Wulfric answered, pointing.

Heart leaping, Ethan turned to the stable where Wulfric pointed. “In the stable?”

Wulfric nodded. “She was crying,” he whispered.

Ethan put the boy down, forgetting everything and everyo
ne as he rushed to the stable.

Chapter
Seventeen

Ethan
strode up the length
of the stable
and down again, searching each of the stalls.
Joanna was hiding there somewhere.
His body itched
with the memory of what could have happened to both of them if her mad plan at the Tower had been a success.

When he didn’t find
Joanna
in the stalls
he scrambled up the steep, narrow stairs to the cramped loft that served as his room.
The sight that met him made his legs weak with relief.

Joanna
lay on the lumpy
wool
-filled mattress that served as his bed. She was curled in a tight ball and wore a faded, patched cloak around
her
shoulders. Toby’s cloak.

“Joanna,” he spoke, heart thumping against his chest.
She was safe. She was alive.

She gasped, jerking and twisting to stare at him with wide eyes. “
Ethan!
What are you doing here?
”

His relief flared to anger
.

“Of all the foolhardy
… dangerous ….
”
E
motion tangled the words in his mouth as he lunged to the side of the bed, ready to snatch her and shake her
.
“
Of all the
treasonous
things to do! Poison the king? Joanna,
what were you thinking
?”

She rolled to her feet and stood, but instead of the tirade of excuses
and
accusations
Ethan expected
,
she tossed her arms ar
ound him and burst into tears.

“You’re alive,” she sobbed.

A wave of
longing
smashed into him with her
.
H
e
squeezed her tight against his chest
,
rest
ing
the side of his head against hers. His anger melted as
she shook
in his arms. The force of his relief left him short of breath and lightheaded.
His only purpose in existing was to hold her and keep her safe.

“You could have been killed,” he murmured, stroking her hair.

“There was no poison in the vial,” she gulped
, shaking
. “He said it was a test, to see if he could trust me to go through with it.
And you … and you…
for me
.
I thought the king would punish you.
”

Ethan’s relief darkened. “Who made you do this?”
He already knew the answer. He wanted her to deny it.

He could feel her reluctance as she pulled away, guilty eyes avoid
ing
his. “Pennington.”

Ethan took a step away from her, running his hand through his hair. “Why would you ever give that man a second look let alone attempt to poison King Richard for him?”

A spark of Joanna’s usual anger cut through the terror in her eyes. “He threatened t
o hurt Aubrey, to take her away!
”

“I know!” Ethan answered her fears. “I overheard him threatening her. But she won’t give in
to him.
That’s no reason to kill the king.
”

Joanna
shook her head
, deflating when he thought she would rage on
. “You don’t understand, Ethan. Pennington has already separated Crispin and Jack and I have no idea where he’s taken Crispin.
”

The full story of the day began to fit together in pieces in Ethan’s mind.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“What would you have done about it?” she panted. “You want to see them dead!”

“I do not want to see them-”

“It wouldn’t have mattered anyhow,” she interrupted him. “Pennington controls the Tower.
The guards answer to him above anyone else.”

“The guards and everyone else in the Tower answer to King Richard
,
one way or another. Pennington can only go so
far.” He reached out for her.

“You’re wrong.” Before he could respond
,
she went on.
“What am
I supposed to do?” A
nger and fear
battled
in
her
eyes so
that Ethan didn’t know what she was feeling anymore. “I can’t just sit idly by and watch everyone I love disappear. Not this time.”

Ethan brushed her arms.
“
If you can’t save them then you can’t save them.
”

“Of course you would say that! You don’t care about
any of this!
”

“I care about you!
”

“You don’t care about me,” she choked. “You just feel guilty.”

Her words held the truth he struggled against. “Joanna,
I can’t bear the thought of Pennington putting you in harm’s way again.
Now promise me that you won’t go back there, that you’ll stay here where
I
-”

“No!” Joanna barked and pulled away from him. She didn’t have far to go in the cramped loft. “Pennington offered to help me have Crispin and Aubrey and Jack released!”

“I have no doubt in my mind that he was lying to you.” Ethan shook his head.

His words caused Joanna’s anger to flare. “Why? Because I’m a woman? A servant?”

“No,
because
he-”

“Because I’m unimportant? Does he think he can get me to dance to his tune and then drop me like a hot brick when some other fancy strikes him?”

Ethan opened his mouth to argue but nothing came out. The conversation had shifted under his feet with a lurch that tied his stomach in knots.
“Joanna….”

“It’s not just Crispin and Aubrey and King Richard and Pennington,” she gulped, balling her hands into fists. “You’ve never wanted me to do anything, be a part of things.
You just want
me
to
bow to
your plans and stop me from
doing what’s right
.
Our whole lives that’s all you thought of me.
”

“Because I don’t want you to be hurt!” he argued.
“I love you!”

“You don’t
love me, you just
want me
! Y
ou don’t even know the difference.”
In a flash her fury was directed at him full force.
The pain in her eyes went far beyond the insanity of
London
.
“Aubrey can take up a sword and fight like a man. Madeline can move mountains to win Jack’s love. But you just want me to
stay
at home and
adore you
while you
steal my brother and fly off on some crusade for your own glory!”

Ethan raised his hands. “I know what war is, Joanna.
I learned that lesson and many others the hard way.
That is what Pennin
gton is trying to involve you in
, a royal war
.
I would give anything to
take you home and
keep you away from that kind of hell.”

“I don’t want to be kept away from it!” She charged at him and pummeled his chest. “I want to fight for what I believe in! I want to see the people I love safe and happy!” With every demand she pounded her forearms against him. “I want to see the people that love each other reunited. I don’t want them to ever feel so alone again!”

With one final burst of
energy she slammed his chest then
collapsed against him with a moan. Ethan caught her and held her, heart aching beyond words.

A thick silence fell between them.

“You left me,” she
whispered, the pain of years filling her words
. “You turned my head and made hollow promises, and then you took Toby and left me.”

“I … I had to answer the king’s call,” he mumbled. The purpose that had once seemed so right and just felt like nothing more than a feeble excuse from a brash and immature youth.

“
After you left
I had no one,” Joanna went on. She leaned
back
and stared up at him, eyes red-rimmed, face hot. “I loved you so much. I gave you everything, my heart, my body, my soul, and you threw it all aside and left.”

“I did what I thought was right.”
His excuse made him weak with shame
.

“You didn’t once stop to consider me
.
I had to live with that for years.” She balled her fists in his tunic. “While you were off chasing glory I was trapped at home,
no family, no purpose. Then you came back, but it wasn’t me you wanted. Everyone in Derbyshire knew you’d bed anyone in a dress after Aubrey rejected you. I had to live with that
, Ethan
. Every day I woke up
ashamed of loving someone who turned out to think of me as nothing more than a toy to use and throw away.”

“That’s not true. I never-”

“
It
only
been
days
since the last time you tried to use me for your own ends!
I was ready to give up my life for you,
Ethan,
but you loved King Richard more than me. You loved yourself more than you loved me. And Toby loved you more than he loved me.
You both left me.
”

She broke down once more, flinging her head against his shoulder, tense as a coil in his arms.

“Toby loved you,” he choked, stroking a hand along her back. “He loved you more than anyone, more than me.” She shook her head against his shoulder but he tensed to still her.
He understood her pain all too well now.
“Yes, I know he loved me,” he went on
.
“
He loved me
more than I knew until the very end. But even that was nothing compared to the love he had in his heart for you.”

She whimpered. Her body went limp with grief. His own grief was almost more than he could bear.
His idiocy had lost him everything he’d ever cared about.
He turned his head to kiss
Joanna’s
hair, stroking it away from her face and kissing her hot forehead.

“He spoke of you every day,” he told her. “Every morning he would tell me what he imagined you were doing to start the day. He ended every night by wishing you well and praying to God for your safekeeping.” He took a breath, swallowing at the bittersweet memory of his dearest friend. “He put me to shame,” he admitted, voice cracking. “Every time he said your name, every image of you that he painted in my memory was a punishment for the way I treated you.”

The tickle of his own tear slipping down his face and sinking into Joanna’s hair surprised him. He squeezed his eyes shut, holding Joanna tighter.

“You’re right,” he confessed. “The man that I was charmed you and used you and didn’t care what he was throwing away.” A surge of tension shot through her, but he held her and went on. “He was too stupid to know what he had, in every way, and I’m so sorry. But that man died
when Toby died
.”

“No he didn’t, Ethan,” she said. “
Two days
ago he told me he loved me then tried to
condemn
the people I love.”

“I do love you,” he insisted. He cupped her heated face in his hands. “I love you so m
uch that I don’t know how to do the right thing
.
I just want us to go home.
”

He kissed her
, blinding emotion banishing every other thought from his mind. She surged against him, opening her mouth
to
his and kissing him back with all the passion of her pain and fury. Her ferocity took his breath away,
his heart expanded
to fill his chest to the point of bursting. She filled him. The taste of her, warm and salty and sweet, blurred his senses.

“I love you,” he gasped.
The truth
of it
hit him with all the strength of a memory reborn.
Nothing else mattered. “
I love you so much.”
He poured his emotion into kisses.

She groaned against his mouth,
returning his energy for one beautiful moment
.
Then she pulled away, pressing the back of her hand to her mouth.

“No. You’ll only leave me again. And this time, Ethan, it would kill me.”

“I won’t leave you.” He stepped towards her, sweeping her into his arms. She didn’t try to get away. “I love you.”