Never Without Hope (Sacred Vows Book 1) (31 page)

Then it was like the story of what happened in our marriage just poured out of me. I couldn
’t write fast enough. I’d relived every moment in order to write the book, but through the words the Lord had given me I saw how God had His hand on me the whole time. Even when I’d forsaken Him, He’d never forsaken me.

Sometimes I wonder if James had sensed that he might die and that
’s why he gave me permission to write this book. I’m certain the fact that’d he’d started having sexual difficulties again contributed to his decision. He sensed my frustration, but this time I knew that his physical problem wasn’t about me. We kept our marriage bathed in prayer, and I made sure to flee temptation before it had a chance to take root in my heart.

I
’m just glad he made it through surgery, and James is standing beside me today as I’m preparing to speak at a marriage retreat about the miracle God had worked in our lives. I never thought God could make a ministry from something so obviously wrong. But that’s just like God to use the refuse from our broken lives and turn it into good.

Copies of my book were neatly stacked on a white table by the door. Jimmy had come home for the weekend to help sell them. Our son beamed at us, like he was proud of the mother I was, and of the mother I
’d become. I wish I could say I was proud of me, too, but the truth was that it was all God. He saw me through the greatest trial of my life. I just thank God James gave me permission to write this book, or I wouldn’t be sharing my story with you today.

I approached the podium, my damp hands shaking, and I clutched
it to keep my body upright. So many couples waited, gazing at me with expectation, and I felt so inadequate for the task. James nodded, giving me the encouragement I needed to begin my speech. I spoke slowly and deliberately for the added effect…

“
I know I’ve been forgiven. But I’ll never forget what I've done. I'm here today to tell you that if you put God first in your life, you're never without hope.”

The End