My Once and Future Love (14 page)

“Listening helps. They don’t want to talk
about it. I don’t even know if they’ve told my brother.” I sighed.
“What did you do today?”

“Slept late, thought about you in the
shower--”

“Oh my god…”

“You asked,” he said, and chuckled.

“You are so dirty.”

“And you like it.” His voice dropped to that
tone that made my knees weak. Hello, wet panties.

“When it’s…appropriate,” I said. He laughed
again.

“Got you to smile, didn’t I?”

“Yeah… Did you do anything out of the house
today?”

“Nope, except for picking up takeout. Been
writin’.”

I liked the sound of that. “A new song?”

“Parts. Spent more time on course work--”

“You’re not in classes right now.”

“—so I won’t get buried this term.”

“You…were studying
ahead
?” It didn’t
compute in my brain.

“
Yeah
. If I’m gonna have time to talk
to you, I can’t slack off like usual, can I?”

“No…well, I…I’m impressed.” And touched.

“Advantage of makin’ friends ahead of me—I
know what profs always assign the same crap every year. Between
jobs right now, so I got the time.”

“It’s a good plan.”

“Thank you.” He dropped the defensive edge to
his tone. “What are your plans until moving day?”

Summer plans? I hadn’t thought about it since
coming home. “I don’t know…depends on Mom’s diagnosis, I guess. If
she needs…if there are needs, I want to help.”
Had
to.
“Well, I shouldn’t run up the phone bill…”

“Alright, love. Call me whenever you want to,
though, okay? I miss you.”

“Miss you, too, Jacob. Bye.” I hung up,
though it hurt to do so.

It sucked more than ever to be on opposite
sides of an ocean. I craved him physically, and not just his kisses
or his touch. There was a place he filled in my soul I hadn’t known
was empty.

****

When the house phone rang at eight the next
morning, I
knew
it was the doctor. Sure, it could’ve been a
telemarketer or something, but I just knew—this was it. I stared at
the phone next to my bed and waited for someone to pick it up. It
stopped after two rings.

A door opened and shut down the hall. Dad
left for work at seven, so it had to be Mom unless he called in
sick. I waited with the sheet kicked off my legs, staring at the
ceiling.

Ten minutes later, a soft knock on my
door.

“I’m awake,” I said.

Mom came in, still holding the phone.

“It was bad news, wasn’t it?” I asked without
looking at her face.

“Yes, honey. My doctor has some time this
afternoon, so I’ll be going by the office and hearing my options.”
She sat on my bed. “Beth, just because it’s cancer, that doesn’t
mean we’re looking at dire circumstances, okay?”

I nodded. “Yeah, Mom. I know,” I said for her
sake. She patted my leg and left the room.

But I
didn’t
know. There were too many
variables and I didn’t like that one bit.

Mom went into her dark room. I got up to get
ready for the day and cried in the shower so she wouldn’t hear me.
After dressing, I called Jacob. His voice mail picked up, so I left
a short message and dialed Vivian’s. When she was unavailable, too,
I left a note on the refrigerator saying I had an errand to run,
and walked to the park.

It was a small park, with only a swing set
and a jungle gym to climb on, surrounded by a bit of grass. Jacob
and I used to come here when he needed to burn off energy to focus.
I’d drill him on test questions while he pumped on the swing high
enough to be parallel with the ground.

Always feared he’d screw up and crack his
head open going so high. I sat on a swing—my usual middle-right
position—and swayed for a while. It wasn’t the same without
him.

Dad wasn’t home, yet, when Mom needed to
leave for her appointment, so I went along. The doctor didn’t mind
me being there, so I took notes. Writing everything down gave me
something to focus on other than the word
cancer
echoing in
my head. They were going to do further testing, she said, to find
out exactly what type Mom had, and schedule surgery to remove the
tumor.

“Depending on the size and aggressiveness of
the tumor, we’ll discuss whether a lumpectomy or more significant
removal of tissue is appropriate.” She slid some pamphlets across
the desk to my mother. “These can answer some basic questions, and
there’s some info in there about local support groups.”

“Alright. Thank you, doctor,” Mom said.

She was quiet through most of the meeting,
listening to the doctor explain technical terms and procedures. If
I hadn’t been there, I’m not sure she would have asked any
questions at all.

“You okay, Mom?” I asked as we were
leaving.

She smiled for me. “Just a lot to take in,
honey. Would you mind driving home? Think they took enough blood
for a donation.”

I took the keys. “What was all that for,
anyway?”

“She said she likes to give the patient a
physical before starting treatment.”

“Hm. Better than going in blind, I guess.” I
pressed the button for remote unlocking the car.

“Yep.”

When we got home, I made her eat something.
Dad came back from work at his usual time—didn’t she call him with
the diagnosis?—and they disappeared in their room for a while.
Dinner was another awkward event.

****

Unless you went through cancer before or knew
someone that did, you didn’t know about the waiting. I wanted that
damn lump out of my mother yesterday, but apparently operating
rooms didn’t sit around empty and waiting, and tests results didn’t
magically reveal themselves.

Friday night, I lay awake staring at the
ceiling again, trying to fall asleep. It was well past midnight
when I finally dozed off.

Tap, tap, tap-tap tap
…

Two bits.

Wait…

I rolled toward the sound and opened my eyes.
A dark shape was outside my window. I sat up and bolted out of bed,
ready to call for my father.

“Beth, open the window,” the man said in a
hushed voice. He stepped back a foot and the moon illuminated his
outline.

Oh my god…
I pushed up the window,
careful not to make a sound. “Jacob, what are you doing here?” We
reached for each other and kissed over the windowsill.
Oh my
god…

He climbed inside without breaking contact.
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I tilted my head to deepen the
kiss, my tongue dancing with his. His scent enveloped me, an
essence of home just as much as my bedspread or my father’s old
recliner in the den.

“How?”

“Mum sent me to pack up the house, though I
think she was just sick of me mopin’ all week,” he said around
kissing my neck. His hands slid under my tank top.

“You were moping?” God, he was the sweetest
boyfriend…

He thumbed my nipples. “Needed to be
here.”

Our lips met again and I felt my skin flush
with heated anticipation. When he started to lift my top, though, I
broke away.

“Not here. My parents,” I whispered.

“Come home with me.”

I nodded. He climbed out my window while I
put on a tee and shorts over my PJs and slipped my feet into a pair
of Keds. I placed a pencil under the window once I was outside so I
could open it later and followed him over the fence. He caught me
when I dropped down off the cement wall.

We barely made it inside before starting to
shed clothes. My tee and tank hit the floor together.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” I said, lifting
his shirt over his head.

He cupped my breasts and bent his knees to
kiss the tips, then yanked my bottoms down. My shoes slid off with
my shorts, leaving me naked in his kitchen. I needed him too much
to feel shy, and took his face in my hands and kissed him again. He
picked me up.

When I landed on a bed, it was in his room.
He unfastened his jeans and dropped them to the floor. Aside from
in the shower the morning I left England, it was the first time we
were naked with a light on. He crawled onto the bed into my open
arms.

It didn’t occur to me something was missing
until I felt him start to slide in me. “Condom!” I blurted out.

That
oh shit
look crossed his face and
he pulled away. “Right!” He rummaged in the main compartment of his
suitcase on the floor and came back to bed properly gloved.

“Now, where were we?” he asked, sliding
home.

“Unh… Missed you.” I wrapped my legs around
his hips.

“Missed you more.”

“Did not.”

“Did
too
.”

“Enough talking,” I said, and shut him up
with my mouth. The pace of our coupling picked up as we made up for
five days apart.

He didn’t last long, at least for us, and
collapsed on top of me, panting on my neck. I whimpered and wiggled
my hips, close to release but not close enough.

“Need something, baby?” he asked, though his
hand was already snaking between us to rub my clit.

My body tensed, then released wave after wave
of pleasure. I bit his shoulder to keep from crying out in his ear.
Warmth flooded through me and I felt the week’s tension fade away.
If he let me, I could finally fall asleep.

Jacob had other plans.

Chapter Twelve

Bright light hit Jacob’s face. He squeezed
his eyes shut tighter and rolled over to hide from the sun. Long
hair tickled his nose. What the…?

Beth. As the haze of sleep cleared from his
mind, he remembered the night before, and falling asleep sated and
holding her. She’d rolled onto her side away from him, the sheet
tucked under her chin.

He reached up and pulled the drapes closed
above his bed, shutting out the offending light, and cuddled up to
her back.

“Mmm…what time is it?” she mumbled.

“Don’t know. Sun’s up.”

She squirmed her hips forward an inch. “Quit
poking me.”

“Morning wood. Can’t help it.”

“Geesh.”

He grinned and snuggled closer again. Holding
her was really comfortable; he could get used to this. “Will you be
missed?”

“Nah. It’s Saturday.” She rolled partially
onto her back. “We do our own thing in the morning.”

He kissed her nose. “Good. Rather sleep
in.”

She smiled. “We were up late.”

“Mmm.” He put his head down on his pillow.
“Startin’ to like this weekend trend, Miss Lawson.”

She rolled to face him. “Me, too.”

He’d keep her in bed until their stomachs
made too much noise to ignore if she let him. They’d christened his
bed in a hell of a fashion, only stopping when she couldn’t keep
her eyes open any longer. He pulled the sheet over their bodies,
wrapped his arms around her with her head on his shoulder, and that
was the last thing he remembered. Fell right to sleep for the first
time in days.

Her eyes were closed again.

“You asleep, love?”

“No,” she replied, and yawned. “Sorry.
Probably have morning breath.”

“Nah.”

She opened her eyes. “How long are you
here?”

“Long as it takes to box everything up.”

“Are you going to miss the house?”

A fair question. He’d lived here more years
than he hadn’t. “Some. I’ll miss climbin’ over your wall more.”

She smiled. “A lot of memories in two years.
I’ll miss your mom being next door, too. You’ll both be so far
away.”

He kissed her pout. “I’ll miss comin’ back to
the ol’ place, no question. When I left for uni, I thought I missed
England…and I did, but L.A. might tip the scale of home a bit
more.” He laced their fingers together. “And now there’s you.”

“Jacob…”

He kissed her before she started crying,
before he laid his heart out too soon, and wrapped his arm around
her waist, pulling her closer. She moaned into his mouth, her hand
clutching his shoulder. He loved her soft skin, especially when
there was so much of it available to his fingers, and stroked her
back, over her ass, and down her thigh. She curled her leg over his
hip.

She broke away from the kiss. “Do you have
any more…?” Her brows rose, and he caught her meaning.

“Don’t know.” He grinned. “Last night was
intense.”

She smiled back, but her cheeks turned pink.
“Uh-huh.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Sleepy. And hungry.”

He brushed her hair behind her ear. “Could
see what’s around for breakfast.”

Her nose wrinkled up. “
You
can
move.”

“I spend eleven hours on a plane and you want
to be waited on?” he teased.

“Yup.” She popped the “p” at the end.

Now he was thinking about food, his stomach
started gurgling. “Fine…but don’t think this’ll be a habit, missy.”
He got out of bed and grabbed his jeans.

She watched him pull them on, her hands
propping her head up on the pillow. Though he knew he was a
good-looking bloke, it thrilled him to see her admire him so
blatantly. Put a bit more cock into his walk. He left the jeans
unbuttoned.

The refrigerator was mostly bare, his mother
making sure she didn’t come back to a rotting kitchen. Too bad
there was no milk for cereal…

****

I never thought I’d be naked in
this
bed listening to Jacob hum in the kitchen. Even through all the
years of wanting him to kiss me, I never thought farther than
I’d trust him to be my first.
Now, I was thoroughly
twitterpated, and had sex over
two
nights with my best
friend, the change in our relationship just hours shy of two weeks
old.

Frea-ky
.

But awesome. This week would’ve been a lot
harder without him answering my calls.

My bladder said it was time to get up, so I
found my underwear and his t-shirt and used his bathroom. The girl
in the mirror made me do a double-take. My hair was a rat’s nest
and I had a dark purple hickey on the side of my neck above my
collarbone. There was
no
way of hiding that mark without
wearing a turtleneck.