Authors: Lindsay McKenna
Pepper sat very still, absorbing the huskiness of Jim's voice, the seeming sincerity behind his words. This was not the place, with all the locals who knew her around, to start a highly emotional, personal conversation with Jim. It would have to wait, she realized sadly. When they were done with dinner, she would suggest they go back to her office and talk. It was all they had left between them, she realized lamely. Honest talk. Forcing a pain-filled smile, she made herself look at him. Inevitably, her heart melted, and a little more of her fear with it. Jim's gaze was so direct—fearlessly burning with
a warmth
that left her breathless and feeling incredibly beautiful.
"I—they were nice. I mean, they were more than nice. I was so surprised," she stammered, opening her hands. "That was only the third time in my life I ever got roses, and I've never gotten that many." She touched her brow and smiled apologetically. "They really were beautiful, Jim. I was just overwhelmed by them, by your gesture."
"I hoped," he said in a low voice, leaning slightly forward, "that it would act as a door to forgiveness."
Tilting her head, Pepper said, "Forgiveness?" She shrugged. "What do you mean?"
"In my letter," Jim said, holding her startled look, "I said how I'd neglected you when we got off the island. Looking back on it, Pepper, I realize I really screwed up. I was overly focused on Laura and her problems."
Shaking her head, Pepper whispered, "Listen, Laura stopped breathing. I'd say you should be concerned. I know I was. I felt helpless. It was a terrible feeling to be sitting on the deck of that chopper, knowing I couldn't do a thing." Frustration ate at her. "I've done CPR before, and I knew how you were feeling. Laura means…a lot to you. I know that." Without thinking, she reached out and briefly touched the hand wrapped around his coffee cup. "And I don't blame you, Jim. Even if you didn't know Laura, you'd probably have reacted the same way. I'm aware of how deeply you care for people."
Pepper was internally aghast that she'd touched Jim, and she quickly withdrew her hand. What on earth was she thinking? Right now she was reacting without thinking—the worst possible thing she could do. Not only that, but in touching him she'd discovered, to her dismay, that she only wanted to touch him more. She wanted to lay her hand on his arm, slide it up beneath the sleeve of his shirt and feel the wiry quality of his dark, springy hair. Wanted to feel the latent strength of his muscles leap and harden beneath her exploration.
The briefest touch of her hand sent a tingle of need flying through Jim, igniting the fire deep within him to a flame that burned with a powerful hunger he couldn't fulfill except with Pepper. "A fault of mine at times," he murmured wryly, holding her warm gaze.
Pepper's fingertips still tingled from her imprudent touch. How strong Jim was, in ways she presently was not. "Never a fault," she
rattled,
her emotions very close to the surface. "There aren't a whole lot of people out there who take commitment for what it really means anymore—for sticking with a person through thick and thin." With a shake of her head, she rasped, "No, I like your loyalty to people.
Your commitment to them, no matter what."
"I wanted to get out here to see you much sooner," Jim admitted, "but I couldn't. Part of it was that Laura needed me, and I was damn well determined to hunt down some or the rest of her family before I left
Washington
."
"I would have expected nothing less of you, Jim. In some ways, we're alike," she murmured as the waitress brought their salads and a small loaf of hot bread. Pepper was absolutely not hungry for the usually appetizing food. The only hunger she had was for Jim—to love him, hold him and become one with him. Forcing her mind away from her unruly yearning, she whispered unsteadily, "People count with me. I want to make a difference in their lives as much as I do in my own."
"It's called unselfishness—a commodity too long lost in our society, particularly in the past decade," he said wryly. Jim didn't want to eat; he wanted to talk, to explore Pepper—to spend the rest of his life discovering all her wonderful facets. But he forced himself to pick at the salad, occasionally glancing at her. Pepper wasn't eating very much, either, and he struggled to contain his impatience. Timing was everything. He would have to wait until later.
After dinner, Jim knew it was time to get down to serious business with Pepper. Now or never, he thought. Neither of them had eaten very much. As they approached Pepper's Jeep, he reached out, wrapping his fingers around her arm and gently drawing her to a halt. She turned, startled, her eyes searching his.
"We need some privacy so we can have a talk, Pepper."
Gulping, Pepper was wildly aware of his monitored strength on her arm. He was so close—inches away. His breath came out in white wisps as he spoke in a low tone to her. The shadows and light carved his face, accenting its strength as well as its tenderness, from the way the corners of his mouth were flexed to the burning quality in the depth of his serious eyes.
"Okay," she said, a little breathless.
"How about my office?"
That was safe, neutral territory, she thought.
Jim forced himself to withdraw his hand from her arm. "How about your home, if that's okay with you?" He didn't want to risk interruption once they started to discuss everything. Her silence told him a great deal. She didn't want him there.
Pepper's pulse was fluttering wildly at Jim's softly spoken request.
The desire to reach up and slide her arms around his shoulders, to melt against him and feel that strong mouth on her own was nearly her undoing.
Home.
Her home.
Her empty, lifeless home, where she'd felt so alone since returning from the mission. Her hands fluttering over the knapsack as she dug for her keys, she said, "Just follow me. It isn't far from town."
Jim nodded. He ached to touch her fiery red cheek, to smooth a strand of precocious hair away from her brow. Pepper was shaken by his request, he could see. But no more shaken than he was by fear over what was to come.
Pepper's cabin was warm, the fire in the stove sending an
orangy
glow through the living room. Jim fought himself—his need to reach out and touch Pepper. They had gone directly from the garage into the warmth of her living quarters. Pepper stood apart from him, nervously tugging the knit cap off her glorious hair, which tumbled in a shiny cascade about her tense features. Her hands were trembling, he noticed. As she tried to undo the buttons on her coat, his mouth went dry.
"Here, let me help…" he murmured thickly, stepping forward, his
hands closing
over hers.
Pepper gasped at his sudden, unexpected move. Jim's hands were strong, warm and cherishing on her cold ones. Her head snapped up. Her heart slammed into her ribs. Lost in the darkness of his predatory gaze, she parted her lips breathlessly beneath his tense, silent scrutiny. In less than a heartbeat, she whispered his name. It came out broken, pleading. The look in his eyes changed, grew narrower.
Intent.
Without thinking, throwing all caution to the wind, Pepper raised her hands and settled them about his strong shoulders. Instantly, she felt Jim's arms wrap about her like tight bands, drawing her hard against him. The air rushed out of her lungs. She tipped her chin upward. He called her name—a low growl that jagged through her like lightning. His mouth claimed hers hotly, conquering her weak protest. The taste of him, the power of him combined to overwhelm her as she opened her lips farther to drink deeply of his offering. Time dissolved and only his sandpapery skin against her cheek, his mouth taking hers, his ragged breath against her face existed.
Pepper's hands ranged awkwardly across his jacket, finding the opening and moving up across his shirt.
She felt the immense breadth of his chest, his muscles bunching and tightening under the skimming touch of her eager, exploring hands. Sagging against him, she returned the raw desire of his mouth against hers, tasting him, sliding her tongue across his. Unable to get enough of him, she pushed the leather jacket off his shoulders, vaguely hearing it drop to the cedar floor at their feet. His hand moved downward, pinning her hips against him in a grinding motion meant to convey his need of her. Instantly, heat exploded within her, and her knees weakened as his fingers curved over her, capturing her even more tightly against him.
Jim tore his mouth from hers. Nothing mattered but now.
Right now.
To hell with all the reasons—the barriers that stood in their way. This was real. This was what they both needed.
Wanted.
His arms tightly holding, he lifted her effortlessly. Looking around, he spotted a hallway and carried her down it until he found her bedroom.
Fragments of light stole into the darkened expanse. It was enough. He took her quickly to the bed and laid her on it, continuing to undress her. Off came her coat, which dropped to the floor beside the old brass bed frame. The sultry look in Pepper's half-closed eyes told him everything he needed to know. Thinking was no longer possible. Driven by something so primal he could no longer control it or himself, he tugged impatiently at the buttons on her blouse until it opened to reveal the pale pink silk of her bra. His eyes narrowed upon her breasts, which were rising and falling in ragged timing with his own harsh breathing. As Pepper's hands moved upward, pushing his shirt off his shoulders, Jim growled. He was more animal than man—and more ravenous than he'd ever been.
Each heartbeat, each
touch
burned like a brand through Pepper's skin as Jim's hands ranged up and down her rib cage. His mouth claimed hers again, and she took his weight as her slacks and panties were pushed aside. Each movement of his mouth drove her deeper and deeper into the fire. The agony in her lower body was like a conflagration. As his fingers tunneled through her hair, her hands slid down to his pants, tugging and pulling at his belt.
Jim froze as Pepper's hand brushed his hardness, his zipper opening easily beneath her trembling fingers. Moving to one side, he pushed his chinos off along with his shorts. He soared inwardly at the sensuous look in her eyes. Never had two people been so meant for each other, he realized as he leaned down, again capturing her soft, glistening mouth.
As he eased down upon her, she arched her hips upward. Air hissed between Jim's clenched teeth as she brazenly brushed against his hardness. She was like velvet, giving and teasing. He slid one hand beneath her hips and felt her breath hitch as he eased his knee between her strong thighs. The look in her eyes was molten, expectant. Her lips parted in a silent welcome. There was such overwhelming urgency that he couldn't wait.
Wouldn't wait.
Neither would she. Just as he tried to counter the flowing forces careening through him, to ease into her, she thrust upward, taking him, consuming him.
A startled cry of joy burst from Pepper's lips as she felt him plunge into her, filling her. Tipping her head back, she closed her eyes, his name an answered prayer on her lips. Unable to catch her breath, she felt his hand center on her lower
back,
bring her up hard against him as he rocked deeply into her. A rippling, melting sensation emanated from her core outward. She was dissolving beneath his capturing motion. Each movement was unrelenting, deeper and more consuming than the last. She gripped his shoulders, her fingers opening and closing spasmodically against his skin. The sense of oneness, of flesh meeting and being forged in the fire of something overwhelmingly beautiful and cleansing, tunneled through her. Each rocking movement brought her higher and higher, closer and closer to that ragged cliff of unequaled sensation. As he molded his mouth to her, drinking of her, the movement of his hips thrusting against her triggered an avalanche of molten lava pulsing through her lower body. Her lashes dropped and she surrendered fully to his hands, his mouth, his exquisite body fused with hers, and an intense pleasure swirled through her.
Jim felt the hot, cascading explosion surround him, and moments later he froze against Pepper, their hips locked in a primal union as he spilled richly into her silken depths. His fists locked on either side of her head, his body straining against hers. With each pulsing release, the heat tripled. He felt as if he
were
being consumed in the white-hot core of a fire, and the only thing that existed in his universe was her.
The moments strung tautly together. Pepper moaned and became limp in Jim's arms. She felt his mouth on her cheek, kissing her lashes, her nose and her parted lips. The
smell of him, the dampness of his strong body sliding against hers, were
all precious to her.
Forgotten sensations from so long ago had been brought to new and vibrant life.
She felt his hand move shakily across her hair and she opened her eyes. Pepper drowned in the darkness of his gaze, gleaming with a fiercely tender light. Even now, spent by the explosiveness of their lovemaking, she began to realize just how deeply she touched him. As his hand skimmed her breast, feathering across her hardening nipple, she gasped with pleasure.