Authors: Amy Johnson
“We heard it on the scanner,” Josie explained to a perplexed Megan and Jack. The entire group made it to the door and Jack burst out laughing as soon as he entered the kitchen.
Sprawled out on the floor was Angelo Madrino
;
obviously unconscious, his arms and legs duct taped sloppily. Beside him was Sal Madrino
;
also duct taped, including his mouth, his eyes wide focused unflinchingly at his crotch, where Granny held a steaming hot pot of coffee half a foot above it. In her other hand was a small electronic devise that Jack recognized as a stun gun or a
Taser
. Granny wore only a robe, curlers in her hair
,
and green gunk on her face.
“I juiced the big guy, and kicked the little on
e
in the nuts,” she was explaining while the two uniformed officers were trying to get her to surrender the coffee pot. They would make a move for it and she would jerk it back and the hot coffee would slosh around and Sal Madrino would try to move to miss it, all the while squealing like a baby.
Jack made a mental note. Do not piss off the Johnson women.
“What happened?” Megan asked
,
pretty sure she had it figured out. “And what are you doing here? You are supposed to be at Mickey’s.” Jack took the coffee pot away from Granny and Granny pressed her foot to Sal’s crotch to emphasize she still had control of the situation.
“Well I was at Mickey’s and then I remembered my date with Steve. He’s taking me to the Bingo Hall again tonight and then maybe out for a night cap.” Her expression became wistful. “Such a sweet boy
,
that Steve.”
“Granny, focus.” The officers took out their notebooks and everyone else listened amused, intrigued, and, probably for Sal, a little uncomfortable.
“Yeah, O
K
. So I told Mickey to drop me off here so I could get all prettied up
,
you know
,
for my big date.”
Josie clapped her hands. “Granny’s getting her groove back.”
Ali snorted. “Granny never lost it.”
Megan shot them both looks to shut them up.
“So I showered, shaved my legs,” Jack and Dr. Ross exchanged amused looks, “and had just put my mask on when I heard these two yahoos come through the pantry window. So I hid in the kitchen under the table and when the big guy came by I zapped him in the butt.” She started laughing as did most of the crowd. “Big lug went down like a ton of bricks. Then the short guy came to check on his buddy and I tried to zap him too, but my zapper didn’t have enough juice left so he pulled me out from under the table by my hair and when he saw I was just a helpless little o
l’
lady he let go of me. He asked me if I was OK, and I nodded then asked him for a hug because I was just so scared.”
“Wait a minute
,
m
a’am,” the young cop asked
.
“You asked a burglar for a hug.”
“Well I didn’t think, ‘Come closer so I can knee you in the nuts would work.”
The officer tried to hide his laughter, Jack didn’t. “You went for that
,
you idiot?” Jack said and Sal shook his head but then quickly changed it to a nod when Granny applied a little force with her foot to his lower region.
“So continue from the hug,” the older, balding, officer instructed.
“So
,
he hesitated for a minute and then I turned on the charm.” Several eyes were rolling
.
“And then when he came close enough I kneed him in the gonads and while he was nursing those I clobbered him with my crystal ball.” She gave a devious grin baring her false teeth. “I predict pain and a boyfriend named Bubba in his near future.”
“And then you called me?” Jack asked.
“Nope, first I taped up the little guy and then plugged in my zapper, just in case I needed it again. Then I taped up the fat guy best I could, put on some coffee and ate a bagel.” She turned to Megan. “You have really got to go grocery shopping, dear. I just about starved to death.”
“Then you called me?”
“No not yet. First, I had a good long talk with the little guy and told him if he ever messed with my granddaughter again I’d hunt him down and give him something in common with John Wayne Bobbit. You know the guy whose wife cut off his thingy.” Everyone nodded through their laughter and she continued
.
“Then I gave him a wedgie, just because he messed up my plans for my date
,
and then I called you.”
“You go Granny,” Josie said and she and Granny did some secret diva handshake.
“Yeah, I must say you kick butt, Granny,” Ali said and gave Granny a high five.
Megan said nothing. She crossed the room and embraced the old woman and began to cry. Granny started laughing and made a show of flexing her wrinkled muscles.
“Where did you get a stun gun?” Megan asked her
.
Granny smiled and said, “EBay. I would have gotten a grenade or something like that but I guess you have to have a permit or something and Mickey wouldn’t help me get one.”
Thank God for that,
Megan thought
.
At least he used his brain once this century.
“Well I hate to be a party pooper, but I gotta get ready for my date.” She bowed for her audience, gave Jack a quick peck on the cheek, admired the young officers behind
,
and went upstairs.
Jack talked with the officers and told them about Ted, the drugs, the money, all the previous mishaps with the Madrino’s. Dr. Ross offered to check out the Madrino brothers before the police carted them off while the officers questioned Megan on Ted’s whereabouts to which she told them the truth, that she had no clue. After the officers, the burglars and Granny and Steve had left Megan, Jack, Ali, Josie and Dr. Ross sat at the kitchen table and discussed the evening’s events over beer and iced tea for Jack.
“I think you should load up your stuff and stay at my place for a while,” Ali told Megan and Megan shook her head.
“No need,” Megan said, “I have my own bodyguard.”
“Granny?” Josie asked and Megan pointed to Jack. “Oh,” Josie said, “I see.”
“No it’s not like that. He chooses to sleep in his truck at the curb or in my driveway.” She locked eyes with Jack before going on
.
“No matter what I do I can’t coerce him to come inside.”
Jack stood abruptly and surveyed the group. “Anyone hungry
?
I could go for a steak myself.”
“You got a grill?” Dr. Ross asked Megan and she nodded. “Okay, how bout us boys go get the grub and you girls, well
,
just do what you do. We’ll cook and ya’ll can clean.”
“Sounds good,” Ali said.
Megan nodded and Josie said, “I don’t know about the cleaning part but everything else sounds fine.”
Jack pulled Megan aside and then took her outside with him while Dr. Ross was kissing Josie goodbye. He leaned her up against the side of the house and looked her dead in the eye and spoke in a deliberate, delicious voice. “I’m staying here tonight, inside, without coercion and you and I are going to have a long talk.” She nodded. “I’ll be back in a few minutes. You go inside, lock the door and do not open it until I get back. Got that?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll have my cell phone with me. You call if you need me.”
“Okay,” she said
,
taken aback by his sudden serious tone. He then dipped his head and kissed her with a passion that made her aware of nothing but Jack, his strong musky masculine scent, his thigh pressing between hers, his hands on her back and in her hair. When he broke the kiss he rested his head on her shoulder and muttered, “My God, Megan,” just as Dr. Ross stepped outside. Jack held her hand for a moment, turned it palm up
,
and kissed it in the center and then left without another word. Megan stood stunned for a moment then regained her strength and went inside, locking the door behind her as instructed.
***
Jack sat in the passenger seat while Dr. Ross drove Josie’s car to the store. He kept up the small talk with Jon, but his mind was focused on Megan and the talk he planned to have with her. He was just going to come out with it and find out what the hell she wanted from him. She was sending all the right signals and if he could just drop his guard he’d have been able to read them loud and clear, but he’d been wrong before and he didn’t
w
ant
to get hurt or take advantage of her.
He was going to tell her about how he’d duped her on their search and then confess the way he felt about her
—
the way he’d always felt
—
and see how she reacted. If she didn’t feel the same or didn’t wish to explore things between them he’d resign from their business arrangement and leave without looking back. If things went differently then he’d be a very happy man and he’d spend the rest of the night making her a very happy woman. Then they could see where it went from there. He knew one thing, the games were over and all bets were off. It was time to come clean.
***
Megan had replayed the last couple day’s events to the girls who listened excitedly at the humorous situations she and Jack had gotten into. She’d told them about Chase and Aaron and the ridiculous lengths she’d agreed to go to find the bums.
“Know what I think?” Ali asked while taking a sip of her beer. “I think Jack is leading you on a wild goose chase.”
Megan blinked. She’d had the same thought. “Why would he do that though?” Megan asked.
Josie patted her hand. “Because he’s in love with you silly.” Megan and Ali both froze. Josie never said the L-O-V-E- word.
Josie nodded and tilted her head up, a wistful sparkle in her brown eyes. “I know, I know, I never say the L-word. I never really believed in it until now.” When the shock subsided smiles emerged.
“You and Jon?” Ali asked and Josie nodded
,
barely able to control her excitement.
Good for them. “Have you told him you love him?”
“Not yet, and he hasn’t told me, but we both know it
’
s there.”
“Take it slow,” Ali advised, then remembered she was talking to Josie
.
“Well, you know what I mean.”
Josie nodded. “But enough about us, let’s talk Jack and Megan.”
“Jack and Megan is too confusing,” Megan said
.
“How bout we talk politics or religion, something a little less complicated.” Ali gave her a wry look.
“Megan, it’s not that complicated. I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. There’s enough electricity between you too to light up The Empire State Building on Christmas. You’re just in denial.”
“I’m not, he is. I know I want him. I just don’t know if it’s more than lust.”
Josie raised her eyebrows
.
“Only one way to find out.”
Megan looked miserable. “I know, but I’m not sure he’s interested. I mean I’ve done everything
b
ut say ‘Do me big daddy’ and he hasn’t gotten the hint yet. He sends all these messed up signals. One day he’s all over me, then the next he ignores me like I don’t exist.” She took a long pull of Jack’s ice tea. She’d abandoned her beer earlier. “Take today for instance
.
H
e pretty much ignored me all day. And don’t think I didn’t try to get his attention. Before Granny called I had asked him to come over tonight because I wanted to…you know
,
get to know him better but before I could get the words out he said no, he had an appointment. I asked about after that and he still said no and we both know he would have been here tonight patrolling my driveway anyway. Then just before he and Jon left to go to the store he freaking kissed me like there was no tomorrow. I just don’t get it.”
“Maybe you’re sending mixed signals too. Maybe you guys just need to tune your radios to the same station.” Ali suggested.
“Like how? I mean what do I say?”
“How about ‘Do me big daddy.’ I think that’ll get the point across
,
” Josie said.
“I can’t say that.” Megan put her head in her hands
.
“After that fiasco with Ted my
self-esteem
is on the floor. What if he shoots me down like Ted did.”
“He wouldn’t
,
” Josie said
.
A
t the same time Ali said, “Then you’d know.”
“You know what? You guys are right. I’m just going to go for it. I know what I want.”
“Go get it!” Josie hollered.
“And get some for me. Bill’s been on a job for a week straight
,
” Ali said.
“I can help,” Josie said. “Here’s what we’ll do.”
Josie called the boys and told them there’d been a change of plans. Instead of throwing steaks on the grill, the girls were going out. She explained the plans to Jon who
,
being love struck himself
,
was happy to fulfill his part of the plan. Josie, Megan
,
and Ali had headed over to ‘Makeover Headquarters’
,
AKA Josie’s apartment, where the magic would begin.