Authors: Kristin Wallace
“Would you make me wear a skirt so wide I'd have to turn sideways to get through the door at your wedding?”
A shudder threaded down Julia's spine and a cold sweat broke out. “Don't mention a wedding yet. I'm still working up to the relationship part, but to answer your question, there would be no hoops or corsets.”
“There you have my reason. Not to mention the fact that I think you and Seth make sense.”
“Why?”
“
You complete him.
”
“I'm hanging up now.”
Meredith let out a delighted laugh. “Call and let me know what happens. I'll be looking at wedding songs for you guys.”
Julia hung up.
Despite her casual tone on the phone, Julia ended up breaking a few speed limits on the way to the church. Once there, she barely got the key out of the ignition before jumping from her car. Her mind raced. Where would Seth choose to propose? His office seemed way too formal.
Outside somewhere?
She wasted a few precious minutes circling the grounds, but the happy couple wasn't in the picturesque gardens or in the playground near the Sunday school rooms.
Sunday school. There was an idea. Amy was the director after all.
Julia slipped inside the building, paused to adjust to the darkness, and started off down the hallway. As she passed the open doors of the sanctuary, a flash of pink caught her eye. She skidded to a halt. Search over. Amy had dressed well for the occasion. Clad in a flowing, cotton candy-colored sundress, with a pink ribbon tied in her hair, she looked like a young 1950s starlet.
Julia took a step, ready to call out and stop the proposal, when it registered that Seth didn't look like a man who'd just declared his undying love. Furthermore, Amy definitely didn't look like undying love has been declared to her.
Amy's golden tresses swayed as she shook her head. “I don't understand. Everything was so perfect. We could be happy.
I
could make you happy.”
Oh, bless the marvelous acoustics! Julia could hear every word loud and clear. She slipped into a pew in the back, careful to stay in the shadows.
“Amy, I didn't mean to lead you on,” Seth said. “I never should have asked you out in the first place.”
“It's your wife, isn't it? You can't get over her,” Amy said. “I can help you do that. I can make you forget her.”
“No one could ever make me forget Beth.”
Amy must have sensed the rebuke and wisely backed off. “Of course not. I didn't mean it that way. I only meantâ”
“Beth isn't the issue.”
There was a moment of silence. “It's
her
, isn't it?”
Julia couldn't see it from the pew, but she somehow knew Amy's burn-your-face-off laser gaze had returned. Julia knew who “her” was too, and she sank lower in the pew in case there was another set of laser eyes in the back of Amy's head.
“Do you love her?” Amy asked.
Yeah, do you?
Seth didn't answer.
Come on. Answer her.
“She isn't worthy of you,” Amy said. “She'll never make you happy the way Beth did. The way I can. She doesn't understand you and what you need.”
“Actually, she does, probably better than anyone ever has,” Seth said.
Okay, that wasn't exactly a passionate declaration, but it was a start.
“She's not like us, Seth,” Amy said. “She doesn't believe the things we do.”
Seth rubbed the back of his neck. “I never said it made sense. In any case, I don't know what God will do with her heart.”
“What about your position here?” Amy asked. “Do you think the leaders of our church will approve?”
“I don't care.”
Julia gasped.
“What was that?” Amy cried.
Julia ducked down in the pew as their heads turned. Her heart started pounding. Seth didn't care if people objected? If he faced criticism or even lost his position in the church because of her? Okay, so maybe it wasn't a big romantic gesture like a room full of roses or skywriting, but the declaration worked for her. A hot flush enveloped her whole body.
“I didn't hear anything,” Seth said.
“Seth pleaseâ”
He held out a hand. “Amy, it's no good. I'm so sorry.”
“She'll only hurt youâ” Her voice cracked.
“I'm sorry.”
Seth kissed her cheek, and Julia could tell by the stiffness in Amy's shoulders that she was trying to hold it together. Then she twirled around and hurried from the sanctuary. Julia barely had time to duck out of sight again, but Amy was in such a hurry she didn't even glance around.
Shoot,
Julia thought, now she was stuck. It was one thing to stop a proposal, but to be caught listening in on a dumping was so immature.
An important question flashed through Julia's mind. How long would she have to wait for Seth to leave? Unless she could sneak out before he saw her?
Yeah. Apparently not happening, because when Julia glanced up Seth stood right⦠by⦠the⦠pew!
“Hide and seek?” he ventured.
Gathering her dignity, Julia sat up. “If it matters I didn't mean to eavesdrop.”
“How much of that did you catch?”
“Some.”
Seth's eyes narrowed. “Define some.”
“I heard you.”
A dispirited sigh escaped as he lowered himself onto the pew next to her. “What are you doing here anyway?”
“Meredith called me.”
The answer brought forth a bemused glance. “Meredith?”
“She called to tell me Amy was in a state because you had asked her to come here.”
A shake of his head indicated Seth still didn't understand. Julia didn't blame him. She wasn't making any sense.
“Amy seemed to believe you were about to propose, and Meredith said I should get over here,” Julia continued. “Meredith sort of knows about us.”
A light seemed to dawn, and Seth turned more fully in the pew. “And you came to do what?” he asked, eyes growing sharper and more focused.
“To stop you.”
“Why?”
His eyes twinkled, and Julia fought the urge to slug him. “Why what?”
Seth crowded closer. “Why did you want to stop me from proposing?”
Looking him in the eye was impossible right now. Instead, Julia covered her face. “You're going to make me say it, aren't you?”
“I'd like to hear it, yes. I did pour my heart out to you.”
Such a bald statement earned a glare. “You poured your heart out to Amy.”
The teasing disappeared, replaced with tenderness. “Is it so hard for you to say?”
“You know it is,” she whispered.
“Were you going to race over here and
not
say it?”
Julia let out frustrated groan. “I don't know. I only wanted to tell you I ran because I was scared.”
“I know that.”
“No, you don't understand.” Explaining seemed so hard. “I was afraid I was going to screw everything up and hurt you, and then I'd lose everyone. Grace, Sarah, baby Mary. Mostly, I couldn't hurt you.”
“You could have let me make that choice.”
“I know that now. That's why I ran over here. I wanted to tell you how I felt before you proposed to Amy, so you could choose. I didn't want you to marry her because I told you to.”
“I wouldn't marry anyone because you told me to.”
“You dated her because I told you to.” Yes, the observation came out huffy, but she couldn't help it. Weeks of watching Amy and Seth coo at each other like a couple of morning doves had left her cranky.
“Because I was hopingâ” he broke off.
This time Julia leaned closer. “Hoping what?”
“That what I was feeling was only a general need to love someone again. When Beth died, I thought that part of me died, too.”
“Was it? A general thing I mean?”
“No. I missed you,” he said, a smile playing about his lips. “I missed your sass and fire. Your sarcasm and your prickliness.”
“What a romantic.” Two fingers tapped against her chest. “Be still my heart.”
Seth reached out and touched a strand of her hair. Wrapped it around his finger. “I missed this hair. The way it seems to sizzle like you do. I missed the way your eyes see right through me. I missed looking at you.”
The man did have a way with words. Drawing in a shaky breath, Julia took his hand. “If we weren't in a church, I'd jump you right now.”
The evil man chuckled and swooped closer. “Jump away.”
“Forget it.” She shoved a hand against his chest. “If I'm going to be dating the minister, I have to act like a proper lady. Making out in a church pew is not ladylike.”
“Guess what?” Seth asked, hooking a hand behind her neck. “I don't feel very ministerial right now.”
Okay, one kissâ¦
****
Didn't she say only one kiss? Julia gasped out a strangled “enough” and shoved away from him. Strangled laughter bubbled up.
“What?” Seth asked, trailing a hand down her hair.
Catching his hand, Julia studied the grooves in his palm as if seeking an answer. “I'm wondering how we got here, that's all. There couldn't possibly be two more opposite people in the world. How did you know? I only figured it out last night.”
An answering laugh rumbled up from his chest. “Then last night was one for discoveries. I was driving home from the Session meeting andâ”
For a moment, all thoughts of their relationship disappeared. “The one about Meredith? What happened? Did you do what I said and knock some heads together?”
“Yeah. One of the guys said he'd never seen me so inspired. Meredith's job is safe.”
Letting out a scream of joy, she wrapped her arms around his neck. “My hero. Tell me what you said. I hope you used the stones verse.”
“Yes on that, too.”
How could he keep information like that from her? Irritated, she socked him in the arm.
“Ow,” he complained. “What was that for?”
“Why didn't you call me last night?” she asked, brows pulling down in a ferocious frown.
“I wanted to. I'd planned to come over and tell you in person.”
“Did you get lost on the way home?”
A finger traced across the furrow between her brows. “No, I found myself,” Seth said. “When I realized you were the first person I wanted to tell, I knew I'd been denying the truth for a long time. So, I had to make another stop.”
“Where?”
“I went to Beth's grave.”
Every fiber in her being froze at the mention of his wife. “Why?”
“To tell her about you⦠and to say goodbye.”
A lump rose in her throat. She pictured Seth standing in front of a grave marker that hadn't yet become discolored and aged by time. She knew how hard it must have been for him to take that final step and let go.
“I wonder if she'd be happy? I'm sure she wouldn't think anyone was good enough for you.”
Seth's smile was full of relaxed confidence. “Beth would have liked you.”
“Are you absolutely sure you want to get mixed up with me?” Julia asked, ready to give him one more out.
He waggled his eyebrows. “Didn't I just prove that a few minutes ago?”
“That could be a biological thing. Pheromones.”
“I'm all for pheromones.”
“Wicked, wicked man,” Julia scolded. “But seriously. Amy probably is better suitedâ”
“Amy is like kudzu,” Seth said.
“Huh?”
“It's a vine, like ivy, and it slowly engulfs everything in its path. Ends up killing all the other trees from lack of sunlight.”
“Amy was engulfing you?”
“She was smothering me.”
“Meredith said Amy had all these childhood hero-worship expectations.”
“She had them all right. I could feel the weight of them every time she looked at me. She even took me to this house she'd fallen in love with as a child. The one she's always wanted to live in.”
“One guess who she pictured as her husband in this fantasy.”
A grimace twisted his mouth. “It took me a while to pick up on the clues. Then, when she showed up here today in that dress, I knew it was going to end badly.”
“I think she picked it out because it would complement a ring.”
“That's right. Shove the knife in deeper,” Seth said, closing his eyes as if in pain. “I feel like I pulled the wings off a butterfly.”
“If it helps, I don't think Amy's a butterfly,” Julia said. “Far from it, actually. Would you have broken up with her anyway?”
“Yes.”
“I wasn't a convenient excuse, was I?”
A look of great offense came her way. “There you go again. I thought I did a pretty fantastic job of convincing you.”
“Pheromones.”
He put his hands over his chest. “My heart. And body and soul.”
Okay, that was awesome, but keep it together, Julia.
“Did you mean what you said? The part about not caring what people thought here?”
“Amazing, isn't it?” he said, a smile returning to his lips.
“What about the faith part? What if I can't believe what you do?”
“I'll have to pray for you.
A lot,
and with great passion.” He brushed her hair out of the way and nuzzled behind her ear. “Or I could come up with other enjoyable ways to convince you.”
How was she supposed to concentrate when he was doing marvelous such things with his lips? “Is this an accepted method of persuasion?”
Hot puffs of air sent shivers down her neck as he laughed. “I don't know, but I'm seriously considering adopting it as a new form of conversion.”
“Sethâ”
“Julia, you talk too much,” he said, as his lips covered hers.
Did she say only one kiss?
“Umm⦠Reverend Graham?”
The tentative question came from a discreetly dressed woman in her early fifties who seemed to have magically appeared by the pew.
The scream came from Julia.
Seth turned his head. “Hi, Gladys. Have you met Julia?”
If Gladys found anything unusual in finding the minister necking in a church pew, she didn't show it. “I haven't had the pleasure, no.”
Julia studied the older woman, looking for outrage or scorn, but it was impossible to read anything in the other woman's expression.
“I'm so sorry to disturb you, but Ethan Thomas is here,” Gladys said.
A reluctant sigh escaped Seth before he answered. “I'll be there in a minute.”
Gladys nodded, and as she turned she caught Julia's eye and discreetly lowered one eyelid.
Julia gasped in surprise. “I think she just winked at me.”
“She's probably thrilled to see me with another woman,” Seth said. “Gladys has made no secret of the fact that she thinks I shouldn't be alone anymore.”
“Who is she anyway?”
“My secretary and all around general of operations around here.”
“Great, so I've already made a fine first impression on your staff.”
He stroked her hair again. “I'm sorry to run off before we've talked.”
“Whose fault is that?”
“Mine entirely,” Seth said, with a smug grin. “The thing is, I do need to meet with Ethan.”
“Who is he?”
“Old friend from school, but we meet every week. We both lost our wives around the same time, and we sort of formed our own support group.”
“Did she have cancer, too?”
“No, her death was sudden. An aneurism. Went to bed one night and never woke up.”
Julia's heart clenched. “That's awful. At least you had time to say goodbye to Beth.”
“Right. Now he's raising his two boys alone.”
“That should be a comfort, though. At least he has a piece of his wife with him.”
“I know,” Seth said. “I envied him that for a long time.”
An image popped into her mind, and Julia couldn't help but smile. “I can picture a dark-haired little boy with your eyes.”
“Would you have cared? If I already had children?”
The thought made her heart flutter. “They'd be a part of you. How could I not love them?”
A hard stirring of emotion passed over his eyes. “You realize you almost used the âL' word in reference to me?”
Julia's eyes closed, and she swallowed as sudden panic rose up. “I'm working up to it. I'll have to take baby steps, okay?”
“I'll hold your hand,” he said, taking her hand and kissing each finger.
Laughing, she shoved against his chest. “Down boy. You have to go. I have to go.”
With an exaggerated sigh, Seth held up his hands in surrender. “Okay, okay.”
Seth helped Julia to her feet, and without breaking their hold they walked out to the foyer. Julia stared down at their joined hands, wondering how on earth she'd ever ended up in this situation.
“What are you thinking?” Seth asked, though she suspected he knew.
“I was wondering if we're crazy to think this could work.”
“I'd say we'd be crazy not to even try.”
“What if I screw it up?”
In answer, he reached up and cradled her face with his hands. “You're worth taking a chance on. Who knows, you might decide I'm the one who's screwed up.”
Okay. That deserved one more kiss.
“Whoa! Sorry!” a deep, male voice rang out.
This time the interrupter was a tall, blond man with devilish, green eyes. He was wearing dress slacks, a white shirt, and a blue tie.
“Gladys said I should make sure you hadn't gotten lost,” the stranger said. He didn't bother to hide his curiosity as he looked at Julia.
Seth made the introductions. “Ethan Thomas, this is Julia Richardson.”
A huge grin broke out across the newcomer's face, and Julia swore if she wasn't already hooked on Seth, she'd seriously think about attacking his friend.
“So, you're Julia,” Ethan said. “It's nice to finally meet you.”
Julia arched a brow in Seth's direction. “Finally?”
“Poor Seth has been out of sorts for weeks now,” Ethan explained. “Mostly because of you. We considered dropping him from our weekly two-on-two basketball game, but in the end we were glad to see him coming back to the land of the living again.”
Amazement filled her as Seth's cheeks turned ruddy. “My friends have no discretion,” he said.
The thought that he'd been discussing their situation with his friends set her heart beating like the flutter of a hummingbird's wings. That still didn't completely erase her embarrassment at having been caught necking with the minister⦠twice.
“I'll let you two talk,” she said, kissing Seth's cheek. “See you.”
“Julia,” Seth called.
The way he said her name made goose bumps race up her arm. She turned around. Seth smiled, and little fizzles of sensation streaked through her body. And for once, the sensation didn't frighten her.