magic and mayhem 01 - switching hour (12 page)

Speaking of nuts, Fabio was on my bed doing his business.

I'd spent last night after the picnic and the entire day today on Fabio's laptop studying honey badgers and hyenas. There were secret sites that pertained to Shifters and witches. Mortals thought these were jokes, but they weren't. Hiding in plain sight was the way most magical beings lived. As to why Fabio had a top of the line computer, I had no clue and decided it was in my best interest not to pursue any line of questioning.

The late afternoon sun poured through the window and I sighed with contentment. Fabio and I had attacked the leftovers from yesterday's picnic for both breakfast and lunch. I shut the computer and grinned at the thought of a
date
with Mac. What to wear? Hmmmmmm.

"Iiiiiii think I should accompaaany you on your oouuuting," Fabio said as he took a break.

"And why would you think that?" I asked.

I went through my outfit choices with materialistic glee.

"So youuuuuu don't loooose your dignitttty with that hairy baaastard."

"Too late. Been there. Done that," I said.

Fabio moaned and slapped his little furry head with his paw.

"I'm a grownup and you are my cat. My sex life is not your concern. I want to have some fun before I get turned into a mortal."

"Baabaaa Yaaaaaga will not take your poweeeeers," he said with confidence.

"Um… I have no clue who killed Hildy and I'm sure that's what I'm supposed to do here."

"Areeee you suuure that's your task?" he asked as he pushed a pair of chocolate thigh high boots with stiletto heels at me.

"Oh my hell, those are awesome. Did you go back to Paris?"

"Miiilan."

"Nice. And no, I'm not sure that's my task, but solving the problems with the Shifters means staying and I don't stay. Anywhere. Ever."

"That breeeaaaks my heart."

"Well, get over it. You're going to have to find another witch unless I figure this clusterfuck out."

"You're myyyyyy witch. I will go mortal with youuuuuu."

"Is that possible?" I asked. What was wrong with him? Why would he do such a thing?

"I willllllll make it soooooo."

I shook my head and grinned. The little bastard was growing on me. At night he cuddled up and purred as I fell asleep. I was almost used to waking up and seeing his nut sack cleansing ritual every morning. Almost.

"You are making it more difficult for me to mow you down with a car or put you in the pound." I scratched his furry head and then finished dressing. "How do I look?" I was rocking a super short mini and an off the shoulder fitted top.

"Like my princessssssssss." he declared. "I juuust wish you were dating a waaarlock, not a wolf. Maaaaybe you should show a litttttle lesss cleavage."

"Warlocks are losers. I wouldn't date a magic dude ever. Too self-absorbed in the bedroom," I told him as I touched up my makeup and lowed the neckline of my shirt a bit more just to piss him off.

"TMI," Fabio grunted with disgust. "TMIIIIIIIII."

"You started it."

"Truuuuue."

"Anyhoo, I guess I've got about a week till Halloween and I'm going to…"

"Ummmmm, Zeeelda," Fabio cut me off.

"Yes?"

"Toooooooday is October thirty-first."

"Right." I laughed and slipped into my boots as I readjusted my shirt. Too much boob was not my style. I was going for sexy, not hookery. "Good one, Fab."

"It issssssssss," he hissed.

I froze and felt the leftover cookies, hamburgers and coleslaw creep up my esophagus. This was not happening. "I was passed out for two weeks," I yelled. “You all told me two weeks! It can't be the thirty-first. I have another week."

"I guessssss we were kind of off on the timing. Weeeee were worried."

"Holy shit Fabio, why didn't you say anything?"

I was two seconds away from a total freak out. The kind where lots of stuff got broken and I lost my voice for a week.

"I thought youuuuuu kneeeew." He was getting as freaked as I was.

"Clearly I did not," I shrieked. "I don't want to be a mortal."

"I willll come with youuuu. I promise."

My break down stopped for a brief moment and I looked at my cat. "Can you really do that?"

"It's never been done successfully, buuuuut I willlll try," he promised.

"Wait. You could die?" Oh my Goddess, I did not deserve this stupid cat.

"Possssssibly."

"Then no. Absolutely not. I will not allow that. Maybe I could get some kind of visitation rights or something."

I crossed my arms over my chest and stomped my foot so he would know I was serious.

"Youuuuu like meeeee." He was positively ecstatic.

"No, I don't."

"Yessssss, you dooooooo!"

He was such a pain in my ass.

"Fine," I grumbled. "I like you. Are you happy now?"

"Dooooo you loooove me?" he asked quietly.

"Don't push your luck, cat. All of this is totally unacceptable. All of you stupid idiots are making me feel things. And I
don't
feel things. It's not good for me."

"Assssssbuckle, West Viiirginia agrees with youuuuuuuuu."

"No, it does not," I snapped. "I have to find the badgers. I think they killed Hildy."

"I thiiiink you're riiiight."

"You do?"

"Yesssss, but you will not gooooo alone. I will come wiiith you. You willll need my magic toooooo."

"I was supposed to ride on a motorcycle and have sex by the river." I sat down on my bed and mourned the life I couldn't have.

"Youuuuu will have sex tomorroooooww," Fabio assured me.

"You approve of that?"

"Nooooo, but I want youuu to be happpppy."

"As nice as that sounds, I'm not sure I'll be around tomorrow to do anything."

"Yessssss, Zelda. Youuuuuu willllll."

Chapter 13

"No. Not happening," Mac spat angrily as he paced my kitchen. He looked good enough to eat in his jeans, faded t-shirt and shit kickers, and he was pissed.

"If you won't help me I'll find them on my own," I informed him in a brook-no-bullshit tone. It was a stand off and it wasn't pretty. Fabio sat on the table and watched with fascination.

"You are not going after the honey badgers," he snarled.

Mac was furious and the veins on his neck stood out. He was even hotter when he was angry and I considered asking for a quickie before I died later this evening. However, I didn't think he would go for that right now.

"I don't know which part of 'I get turned into a mortal tomorrow' you don't understand, but I have to find Aunt Hildy's killer. I've never seen the hyenas around here and I highly doubt another witch killed her so I'm starting with the fucking honey badgers."

"Why don't you think it was another witch?" he demanded.

"Because they wouldn't have left a bloody mess," I yelled and then froze as something unfamiliar clicked into place in my brain.

Believe in myself
. The thoughts formed and flew from my startled lips.

"Hyenas would have left bones, but the honey badgers would have eaten her. That's why there was no body," I insisted.

Oh my Goddess. My stomach lurched and my magic ramped up to a level that made me feel high. I was right. I hadn't bothered to put any pieces together until now. And now might be too late.

"Fine. I'm going with you," Mac said tightly.

"Soooo am I," Fabio added.

"Of course you are." Mac laughed without humor and glared at Fabio.

"What is your problem with my cat?" I demanded. "That mangy bastard loves me."

"Do you love him?" Mac asked.

Fabio's ears perked up and they both watched me carefully.

"Oh my hell," I sputtered. "I don't even know what love means. I don't want anyone to ask me that question again today. I have some honey badgers to destroy."

"Go change unless you can sprint in those boots," Mac instructed as he eyed my four inch heels.

"Honey, I could run a marathon in these boots. Plus, the heel alone could put an eye out."

He grinned despite himself and ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "You are definitely my girl."

"Whatever you say." I used his own ambiguous phrase on him as I headed for the door. "Let's go pop some badgers."

***

Apparently the honey badgers met at their lair at eleven every night so we had a few hours to kill. Mac insisted we do something fun before we ruined my outfit and I agreed. Fabio was bizarrely quiet, but he rarely spoke when we weren't alone.

Two people and a cat on a motorcycle was a challenge, but we made it work. Mac drove fast and I squealed with joy as the crisp night air hit my face. Fabio, on the other hand, just dug his claws into Mac's back and hissed the entire ride into town.

Main Street was deserted, but Mac was hell bent on taking me somewhere fun.

"Mac, if this is your idea of fun we're going to have some problems," I said as I dismounted the Harley and slid Fabio into my purse.

"Hush," he said as took my hand in his.

We entered the empty hardware store and made our way to the back. I was certain I heard music, but where in the hell was it coming from?

"Are you having fun yet?” he asked with a smirk.

"Um… am I supposed to be?"

"I have fun simply staring at you," he said as he ran his thumb along my jaw.

Fabio pretended to puke in my purse.

"Well, you're weird," I said as I tried to bite back my grin of delight.

"You got that right," he replied with a chuckle.

Mac opened a rusted-out door and gently pushed me through.

No freakin' way
.

There was a back room to the hardware store and it housed a huge bar—with a jukebox and a buttload of happy, dancing Shifters.

I turned and squeezed Mac's hand with a giggle. "You guys really are weird."

"Again. You are correct," he said as he pulled me into the party.

"Zelda," Simon yelled as he two-stepped up a storm with a pretty skunk girl. "So happy you're here!"

I spotted Wanda, Kurt, Chuck, DeeDee, Bob and Roger and a bunch of other Shifters whose names I couldn't remember. Most sported costumes further convincing me it really was Halloween. Little Bo and several other small cuties were next to a metal tub filled with water and apples. They were bobbing and shrieking with laughter.

Depression suddenly rolled through me at the thought of leaving them, but I needed to think about it later. First I had to live through the night.

"Dance with me," Mac said as he pulled me out on the floor. The sea of Shifters parted for us and DeeDee violently banged the jukebox with her head. The fast song was immediately replaced with a slow sexy beat. Very sneaky.

Mac nodded his approval to DeeDee, who bowed her head to him, as did the rest of the crowd.

"So I hear you're the king," I said as he pulled me into his arms and began to move to the music.

"I heard that too," Mac answered as his lips grazed my ear.

I shuddered and leaned in closer. What was it about him? Was the mating bullcrap true?

"You wanna be my queen?" he whispered in my ear.

Happy chills ran down my spine and straight to my girly bits. Time to get down to business.

"Which end do you squeeze the toothpaste from?" I asked as I copped a feel of his fine ass.

"Is this a trick question?" he inquired as he returned the favor to the delight of the crowd.

"No, I'm serious."

"The bottom," he said as he pressed his very happy camper into my stomach.

I bit my lip to keep from licking him. "You passed that one. Toilet seat. Up or down?"

"We'll have two. Mine and yours."

I was sure our dance moves were getting slightly pornographic, but my brain was getting addled with lust. As far as I was concerned we were the only two people in the bar.

"Nice answer, Wolf Boy. Do you have brothers and sisters?"

"One brother. Jacob. You healed him the other day. And thank you, by the way."

“You're welcome." The sense of pride I felt was absurd, but I refused to process that nugget. "Mom and dad?"

"They passed years ago. They were wonderful."

I had nothing to add to that one. My mother had no discernable maternal instincts and my father who apparently loved me to bits was still a complete no show.

"You're lucky," I murmured, a little less horny and a little more sad.

"Your Aunt Hildy was a wonderful person. She was like a mother to Jacob and me. I think you're right about her death. We haven't been able to avenge her because her magic is gone. It's all we can do to survive at the moment."