Lumberjack Werebear (Saw Bears Book 1) (10 page)

The last three months had been hell.

Tagan shouldered a log and tossed it up onto the trailer. He didn’t usually show his strength this close to the log buyer, who was human and would be here any minute to check the lumber, but dammit, if he didn’t work out some of his frustration, he wouldn’t sleep tonight. Again.

Kellen leaned against a tree, head canted as he watched him with the same worried expression he’d worn since the day Brooke left.

Sweat dripped down Tagan’s face and into his eyes, and he rubbed it clean with the sleeve of his shirt. “What, Second?” he asked, hefting another log.

“Nothing at all,” Kellen said.

“Say it and be done with it. I’m tired of you staring at me all the damned time.”

“You’re going to end up like Jed.”

“Fuck, man.” Tagan gripped his hips and glared at him. “You think that’s the way to fix this? Compare me to the last asshole alpha?”

“Not like that, T. Jed was broken because his mate left him to live in town, and he was splitting his time between his crew, and his life with her. Dominants can’t do that. The people your bear needs to protect have to be in one place.”

“That, and he was an old-timer determined to bury our crew into the ground,” Tagan muttered. “And what do you want me to do about it? Brooke’s gone. Not my choice.”

“You could bring her back.”

Tagan pulled his work gloves off and chucked them against the tail-light of the lumber truck. “Kellen, you don’t understand this. She wasn’t my mate. Everything got fucked up before I could ask her.”

“You mean before you could claim her.”

“She has to claim me back, man.” The words came out sounding strangled.

She hadn’t picked him back. Not when it counted. Not when he needed her to tell him it was okay, and that she forgave him. The guilt over Turning her was black water he drowned in every day. And every night, he lay awake, staring at the ceiling of his trailer, wondering how he could’ve done it different.

Fucking Jed. Fucking Connor. Fucking him for not being strong enough to challenge Jed for alpha when it mattered—when he could’ve saved Brooke from being Turned.

“I miss her, too,” Kellen said quietly. He approached and placed a white envelope on the end of a log hanging from the truck. “We all do.”

Tagan watched him lumber away. Kellen had disappeared around a bend in the dirt road before he dared to look at the envelope again.

There was no name on the return address, but it was from Boulder. With trembling hands, he opened the flap. The paper was thick and elegant, and it seemed almost a shame that his dirty fingers smudged the fine linen stock inside.

You’re cordially invited to view Stars of Ashe

Art Show by Renowned Artist Brooke Belle

June Third from 7 – 10

It had the address of a studio and a website at the bottom, and across the top were four thin panels with sneak peeks of different paintings. Recognition zinged through him. In the very last panel, a bear stood with his back to the viewer, painted in thick blacks and outlined in neon green chaotic strokes. It looked over its shoulder at the viewer. Tagan staggered backward at the rendered picture of himself on canvas.

The invitation fell into the dirt in front of him as he knelt down and scrubbed his hands over his face to stifle the pain in his heart. To stifle the joy at the idea that she still thought of him, and the hope that she’d sent him this invitation because she wanted to see him again. His mixed emotions crashed over him like an avalanche.

Two days. He had two days to get his shit together and get his mate back. To do whatever she needed. He’d beg her forgiveness if she’d give him the time.

Tagan inhaled a long, shaky breath and looked over at his reflection in the dusty hubcap of the truck. The three month beard would have to go, and even he could see the sadness in his eyes now, but maybe she’d understand.

He tore his gaze away from the reflection of his broken self. This could hurt him. If this was just an invitation to see her for an hour, then say goodbye forever, going to Boulder could destroy him. He’d be a worse alpha than Jed when he returned to his crew. It was a risk.

He drew his gaze to where Kellen had disappeared behind the trees. They deserved better than this.

His crew was broken without her.

He was a broken alpha without her.

Tagan owed it to his men, and to himself, to try to bring Brooke home.

****

“I’m nervous,” Brooke admitted to Meredith as her mentor pulled her toward another group looking at her painting titled
Cut
. All of the paintings were darker than she used to do, built up with blacks and dark grays until the canvases were thick with paint and chaotic brush strokes, but her starscapes had come back. Now, her wooded areas just had a few extras. This painting had the processor Connor had worked, with a full moon above and the bright stars she was known for smattered across the top half of the oversize painting.

“Why are you nervous? All of your paintings have already sold. And if it’s the critics you’re worried about—”

“No, it’s not that. I’m worried Tagan won’t come.”

Meredith pulled her to a stop and hugged her tight. She smelled like perfume and animal, though the humans around them would never smell or suspect the latter. Brooke’s heightened sense of smell had been an adjustment.

“I know my boy, and I know how he feels about you. He’ll be here,” Meredith promised.

Her words should’ve settled Brooke’s pounding heart, but the show was halfway over, the paintings all sold, and he still wasn’t here. Maybe she’d hurt him too badly and ruined any shot they ever had.

“Your eyes, dear,” Meredith said as she eased back. “Deep breath. Good girl. Those eyes can’t pass for human right now. You need to settle down. Here,” she said, snatching a wine glass half-f of red from a passing server’s tray. “Sip this.” Meredith had become another type of mentor now. She coached her in blending in with the humans in the city, despite the bear that lived just under her skin.

Brooke downed it like a shot of whiskey and steadied her breathing. Already, she felt more in control. “Better?”

Meredith gave her a smile that crinkled the corners of her blue eyes—eyes the same shade as her son’s. “Much. And look.” She turned Brooke’s shoulders slowly until she faced the door.

Tagan stood there in a suit, hands in his pockets as he watched her.

She couldn’t help the slow grin that took her face or the emotion that stole her heart. Her Tagan. He’d come for her. Even after everything, he’d come.

She’d worn a strapless dress tonight, owning her scars like he’d taught her. No one was ever rude enough to ask her where they’d come from, and she felt empowered to be exposed like this.

His eyes followed the line of her neck, and a smile crooked the side of his lips when he saw the mark he’d left on her shoulder. He blinked slowly, then brought his gaze back to hers.

There he was, her beautiful Tagan. Confident, intense, strong, able.

Brooke took a step forward and nearly rolled her ankle on her high heel. With a low, feral-sounding snarl in her throat, she yanked her shoes off and bolted barefoot toward him.

He jogged toward her and caught her in a back-cracking hug, as if he never wanted to let go. God, she’d lived and breathed for this moment. “I put in the work,” she whispered, as a warm tear slipped down her cheek. “I wanted to make you proud, so I put in the work.”

“You always made me proud, Brooke.”

“I Change.” She eased back and cupped his face—the face that visited her dreams—the face she adored. “I Change a couple of times a week at least. Out in the woods beyond the city. Your mom taught me how.”

Tagan looked at her with such wonder in his eyes. Jerking his gaze to the crowd, who were now clapping quietly, he ducked his head in a greeting to Meredith and set Brooke on her feet. Tugging her hand, he searched the paintings in the alcoves along the wall, then pulled her toward a painting she’d done called
Him and Me
. It was the one Meredith had put on the last panel on the invitations. In it, Tagan’s bear had his back to hers in the moonlight, but he was looking at her over his shoulder. It was of both of them in their animal forms, up on the landing amongst the felled trees. Out of all the paintings she’d done, the stars were brightest in this one.

Pulling her close, he whispered against her ear, “Tell me more.”

“The nightmares are gone. I only dream of you.”

“Bad dreams?” His eyes were worried as he brushed his thumb across her cheek.

“I don’t dream of when you Turned me. I never did. I guess it wasn’t as scary as what Markus did to me. I dream of your face. Of you sitting in the corner of my room, watching me. And you look so sad, and it makes my heart break with how much I’ve missed you. But I wanted to be strong for you, Tagan. I needed time to fix the ugly places inside of me.”

Her favorite rumbling noise emanated from his chest, and she settled it with her hand.

“You were always strong to me, you beautiful, complicated, sweet woman.” He leaned down and pecked her lips. “If I pay double for this painting, would you deliver it to my house in person?” he asked, his eyes serious.

“Oh.” She frowned at the painting. “Someone already bought this one. It was the first one that sold before the show even began.”

A slow smile spread across his lips, and he kissed her again, longer this time. He brushed his tongue against the closed seam of her lips, and she opened for him, tasting him.

“You bought it, didn’t you?” she asked as he pulled away.

He nodded once. “So will you deliver it in person?”

“Tagan,” she said, clenching the sleeves of his suit in her fists. God she loved him. “I was already coming home.”

A warm chuckle filled his throat as he rested his forehead against hers. “Home,” he repeated.

Relief nearly hummed from his body as he nipped her neck. “Trailer Park Princess is coming home. The boys will lose their shit when they see you. We’ve had a hard time with you away.”

“What about Jed?” she asked, her lingering fear tainting the moment.

The smile faded from his lips. “Jed is banished. I’m alpha now. No one will ever hurt you again.”

A server walked by and offered them wine.

“We should toast,” she suggested, pulling two glasses and giving him one. She looked around at the guests in their tuxedos and formal dresses and lowered her voice. “It’s boxed wine.”

Tagan let out a surprised, booming laugh. “That’s my girl. What are we toasting to?”

“I asked your mother lots of questions about what we are and our traditions. Someday, I’m going to make you my mate.”

Tagan’s eyes went wide. “Wait, what?”

“I’m going to work really hard at being the partner you deserve, and then someday, you’re going to ask me to be your mate,” she said matter-of-factly with a nod of her chin.

An uncertain smile crooked his lips, then disappeared. “Does that mean you forgive me?”

“No.” His face fell, but she lifted his chin until he looked into her eyes. “It means I never had anything to forgive. You saved me. I don’t need to forgive you, Tagan. I need to thank you.”

“Thank me?” He looked utterly baffled now.

“You helped me heal my muse. All of this,” she said, gesturing at the room of people, dressed up and standing in groups, talking in front of her paintings. “All of this started with you and your Ashe Crew. My crew now, too. And then you went one step further and saved me at risk to your own life. You killed one of your own who was trying to hurt me. You went head to head with your alpha, and I understand now how hard that is for a Second to do. You banished him, Tagan, for me. And then you gave me the greatest gift of all.” She placed her hand on her chest. “You gave me her—my bear.”

He touched her cheek softly, just under her eye, which she knew was blazing blue with how emotional she was. She didn’t have much control over her shifting eyes. Not yet.

“I can see her,” he whispered.

“She might be the strongest part about me now. I didn’t think so when I first Turned, but she’s tough. My bear makes me braver. I don’t fear people anymore. I don’t get scared and have panic attacks in stairwells anymore because I know I can defend myself now.”

“Yes, I imagine you can.”

“I love you, Tagan. I want to come home.”

He lifted his chin and looked at her with such fierce adoration in his eyes. “When?” he asked, just like he had those months ago when she’d left him.

Her happiness was so potent she couldn’t contain her grin if she tried. “Today.”

Woodcutter Werebear (Coming March 2015)

Timberman Werebear (Coming April 2015)