Lucca's Lust: The Luminara Series Book 3 (53 page)

It fucking tears me up and shreds my soul. I wish I could make all this go away. Lexi needs to concentrate on her health and happiness, on our future and taking care of our little one. I do not want her paying attention to the gossip, scandalous absurdities, or slander in the press associated with her years of abuse, Grace’s abduction, and her Stockholm syndrome revelations. All because of Kimberley fucking Franks!

We all thought Kimberley seemed to be so composed at work … a little flirty and adventurous outside of work. It seemed innocent enough, but I never realised how fucked-up and twisted she actually is. I cannot believe she was doing drugs and mixed up with all those debts.

She played me. She played us all and because of her stupidity, we now need to be very careful about who we talk to, where we go, and always make sure we cover our tracks. I am trying to protect and hide my dolcezza, but it has been difficult at times when the press continually tries to hound us.

Thankfully, they have not discovered our location in Italy and have been unable to link my parents and grandparents whereabouts either. This has been a blessing and a godsend. Cleverly, when my Uncle Genaro, my papa’s brother, helped me source the vineyards and farmhouse here, he helped me guard my assets and ensure ultimate privacy, so this land will never be linked to my own name.

I think about him a lot. For what he did for me. Uncle Genaro had my back, dug me out on more occasions than I care to admit, and kicked started me into gear when I was a young man. He opened doors, taught and showed me things that made me the man I am in business, and I will forever be eternally grateful. I would have given my life for him, but I could not. I was too late. I cannot change it, but fuck, it still hurts.

My uncle Genaro was not a conventional businessman. The stir it caused in the region when I secured the land and property could have caused an exceptional amount of trouble and grief if Uncle Genaro never sorted it out and cleaned it up.

Being in the know, he had the good sense to protect me, and with the right contacts and enough money, he demonstrated that anything is possible. Although I prefer to execute a more honest and professional work ethic, I did learn a lot from Uncle Genaro. He was a very wise man.

Looking at the time on my watch, rubbing my jaw and massaging my throbbing temple, I contemplate and plan for the next few weeks. Normally, I am so organised that I could tell you where and what I will be doing on the first Saturday of June three years from now, but now in light of everything that has happened, I need to take each day as it comes.

It has been challenging at times to adapt to changing our plans sporadically and living on the edge of reason. I make it work, I make things happen, and I ensure that every decision I make, I put my girl first. Always. Anything for my girl.

Searching the top drawer of my desk, I find some painkillers and throw two back with some flavoured water. I lift up one of the black and white photographs sitting on my desk to admire my beautiful dolcezza.

This is one of my favourite photographs of her. Hazel took this picture of her at the surprise birthday party I threw for her, here in Tuscany. Lexi looks so happy and carefree, wearing little denim shorts and a white linen vest.

This was the outfit she had on because she had no idea that I was bringing her family and friends over from Scotland to surprise her. Later she changed into the sexy designer dress I picked for her, which she was also stunning in. She is stunning in anything she wears. Most of all … she is stunning completely naked and underneath me.

I smile, appreciating Lexi’s natural pose, setting the photograph down next to the others I have of her, of us together. In this picture she is bending down to play with Antonia, our baby niece, the strap of her vest falling off her shoulder and her hair all sexy and mused. It is such a simple photograph, and I love how sweet and happy she looks in this image.

After I gave her the photograph book I had made up for her with the help of Giovanni Costanzo, she relaxed and became more appreciative of seeing herself in photographs.

Jesus, I am so proud of her, the way she overcame one of her darkest fears and now is more tolerant and accepting of being photographed. That was a massive step for her. I need Lexi to see how beautiful she actually is and not to be afraid of seeing herself, the real her.

The Leica camera I bought her was also a smart move and a great idea. She absolutely loves it. She was excited taking photographs of everyone at the party using her new gift, and because she trusts Hazel so much, she did not mind her snapping some photographs of us.

Lexi copes better now when addressing her photography fear, because now we can take lots of photographs of our little one. Images of our bambino to always cherish … just like the ones of Lexi that I admire and cherish all around the farmhouse.

The party was the best thing to lift Lexi’s spirits not long after we first returned to the farmhouse. She was ill and suffering so much with acute morning sickness, missing her friends, and living on her nerves. I wanted to do something special for her. I wanted to see that spark, that beautiful aura and light surrounding her, and I needed her to feel loved and cherished by all her loved ones.

God, the weeks running up to her birthday she seemed so depressed, weak, and fragile. I was so worried about her health, both physically and mentally, and needed to lift her spirits. I have a sudden flashback in my mind about last night. Casey had suggested I bring her friends over and for me to spend time with my mates. It does sound appealing.

I told Casey it did not bother me, but the truth is I saw how much it helped Lexi being with her friends, and maybe a game of football or a beer with the boys would actually do a world of good. Of course Lexi would need to be close by. It appears I have another project to work on and make possible.

My girl was adamant she did not want to do anything to celebrate her birthday, and she dismissed any suggestions I made. If I am honest, I actually enjoyed seeing the fire and feistiness back in her because I find it sexy as hell. I will confess it always arouses me and drives me wild for her. She is too fucking adorable when she tries to appear mad, and I love our making up … I relish in it.

I do hate to see her upset, but I can tell when she is really pissed at me so I do not provoke her. I give her time and space and show her patience. But in situations when she is trying to be fiery, forcing herself to appear mad, I know she will soften very quickly and it will pass. It is cute as fuck.

And these are the times I know exactly how to melt my adorable sweet girl. I calm her by showering her in lust and love for both our pleasure. Except last night, fuck, I was a man down.

As much as Lexi protested and fussed regarding her birthday, I know her, and I know that she missed being with her friends. I thought she was becoming closed off and distant, so by bringing them here to spend time with her, I got my Lexi back as well. Just seeing her smile again filled my heart, and it was breathtaking to see that sparkle and enthusiasm return.

Her birthday was before the tabloid scandal so the press was not hounding our family and friends at the time. Lexi was already vulnerable and sick every day, losing too much weight, and Michael Parks consumed our thoughts, but things were a little easier without the press or tabloid scandal.

It is a whole new ball game now trying to organise anything. I send a quick email to Suzanne and Marco telling them my plans before sitting back in my chair once more. I think this could really help us both the more I think about it.

I watched Lexi for hours, laughing, weeping with joy, smiling and dancing with her grandpa. It was such a special day and moment for her. After the party, I arranged for everyone to stay between both my parents’ and grandparents’ villas so Lexi and I could spend her birthday night alone and together.

We both needed it and what a night it was … making love all night long. Perfetto. We had amazing, romantic sex outside under the stars and by candlelight. We fucked in the pool and on the deck, and then the next morning we had intimate bathtub sex, and made love in bed, lazing between the sheets until late in the afternoon.

Occasionally, when I think Lexi needs special TLC and my undivided attention to centre her, and when I crave her all to myself, I arrange for us to be alone here at the farmhouse. It takes some work but I make it happen, and I make it worth our while.

I need to arrange some privacy for us soon, before we both explode. Casey is right; I need to find what relaxes me. Alone with Lexi. It will help me as much as it helps Lexi. God, I need it right now.

We have had the luxury of renting out private hotel suites when we need to travel for business. Security is normally stationed outside the suite after thorough checks have been done, and because we are able to travel on my own private jet, my pilots, Claude and Eric, erase all flight plans and manifests.

It is nice to make use of the stately and beautiful hotel suites we use. I take her on every fucking surface I can within the luxurious suites. I worship her, caress her, fuck her like crazy, and then make sweet tender love to her all night.

We both look forward to our hotel stays. There is nothing like sharing intimacy in a luxurious and private suite. I love a change of scenery. First-class service and making my girl feel special. It is heavenly, especially after a hectic day of business negotiations. Sometimes it is just nice to spend time together here in the farmhouse alone. Do normal things.

I love to cook for Lexi and take care of her. One of my favourite things is being able to spoil my girl in bed and then cook for her in our kitchen. My heart almost stops beating when she saunters into the kitchen with her with her hair all mused, wearing one of my shirts, after I have sexually exhausted her.

There is nothing sexier or nicer than my stunning girl padding barefoot in our home wearing very little or no clothes. She takes my breath away, and I thank my goddamn stars that Lexi walked into my life.

Simple things like being able to relax by the pool and make love outside the way we did before, without guests and security being around us, is blissful and I know Lexi misses that too. We love to curl up and watch movies on our own, dine outside on the alfresco area, and enjoy intimacy the way we should be able to do in our own home.

The secluded privacy and stunning panoramic views of the farmhouse are some of the reasons I fell in love with the property. I remember Lexi’s face the first time I brought her here on our first official date. She was awe-inspired by the privacy and beauty outside. It stole her breath, just like she steals mine.

Taking long walks together in the vineyard, lying on a picnic blanket where I shower her in sexual delights, reading her a book, and kissing our little one until Lexi falls off to sleep as the sun sets, no words can describe how much I love that. I admire her sleeping, caressing her luscious skin and growing stomach long after she falls off to sleep. There is nothing nicer than having long baths together after an enjoyable day outdoors … these moments … I cherish them because they are scarce now but precious. Precious to me.

I have worked hard at being able to treat Lexi to these simple things, but I have always considered Grace as well, and I would never do anything to upset her or exclude her from our life at present.

Grace has travelled with us on some business trips, but now she has built a good relationship with my parents and grandparents. Her own parents are also here in Tuscany staying at Villa di Tartufi, Sofia and Franco’s villa. Grace often stays with them, and it pleases Lexi that her mum and grandparents are here together and are safe.

It is reassuring to both Lexi and myself that Grace is comfortable being around her parents, Alexander and Elizabeth, and she is starting to treat Tuscany as her home. It also eases my apprehension regarding her safety because she has her own security agents with her at all times. She is very safe.

Marcario, Marco’s father, has also been a great friend and helped Grace. It has been wonderful to see, actually. Marcario is a great man, extremely talented, and is exceptionally kind and patient. He has been very good for Grace, especially as she has never been too close to or has trusted many men, other than her father, Alexander, Cameron, Jim, her sister Eva’s husband, and myself.

When we first arrived, I got to witness some of Grace’s episodes that Lexi warned me about. It was upsetting to see Grace be so torn while suffering in her own turmoil. Not to mention, it was painfully difficult to see how much it upset and affected Lexi. Christ, it wounded me, like a stab to the heart, when I watched my dolcezza cradle her mum in her arms to calm her down and bring her back to focus. It just made everything seem so real to me. It was a huge eye opener.

Hearing Lexi talk about the reality of their life before, reading her notes in her journal, and supporting Lexi through her anxieties and worst fears still did not prepare me for witnessing her helping Grace through her first episode.

Fuck, I wanted to drink myself senseless in litres of good malt, but I did not. I promised Lexi I would take care of them and be strong and that I would do anything for her. That means refraining from drinking copious amounts of whiskey to numb my pain. I do still drink alcohol and shit, there have been times I have needed it … like last night, but I promised her I would stay away from whiskey. She depends on me and I want to be her everything.

I admit that I saw red witnessing Grace’s first episode. A whole new hatred for Michael Parks singed me, eating away and fucking with my thoughts. An infused fury more intense than any other deep-seated thoughts I already had of him.

It sparked a fire inside me, a flame burning so hot that the only way I can ever extinguish it is to kill the fucker myself. I want revenge, and I want to show that bastard hell. Real hell. I pray that the CID finds the evil fucker before I do because I cannot be responsible for my actions … and that is a
promise
.

The responsibilities and weighty pressures Lexi has had upon her from a very young age became very apparent during Grace’s first episode. Lexi had become the parent, a role reversal.