Love Unrehearsed (33 page)

Thomas scoffed at me. “You’d risk your life for him?”

“Absolutely. There are always risks when you love someone.”

Ryan’s chin tipped up a bit more, standing taller and more forbidding. He had my heart and I had his and there was no confusion there. I also had his back, knowing I would go after Thomas myself before I allowed him to get one step closer to Ryan.

“Huh. Well, when you get tired of all the people snapping your picture and shit, give me a call. Unless you’ve turned into a spoiled gold-digger, too . . .”

I was so livid, I shoved myself in front of Mike.

I felt Ryan’s arm cinch around my waist, moving me to his side and out of the way in one easy sweep. “Get out!” I ordered around Ryan’s lunging body as Pete and Mike blocked him from making contact.

Ryan was spewing threats dotted with profanity while Pete body-blocked Thomas. As soon as Thomas turned toward the door, Ryan hauled me toward the kitchen and right up the stairs.

I wanted to rant, scream, throw stuff, maybe even throw up, but instead I watched Ryan to see what he was going to do.

“Where are your car keys?” he asked in a furious rush.

I pointed a shaky hand toward the key hook. He shoved them in his jeans pocket and then grasped me by my upper arms.

“Babe, focus. Help me pack an overnight bag for you. We’re getting out of here.”

“Where?” I asked in a daze, feeling as if I’d been peeled apart and slammed back together. I could barely stand, my legs felt so numb. My real birth certificate . . . lies . . . Thomas . . . Ryan riled. It was all too much. Too much.

He tossed his bag near the door and took me by the hand. “I don’t know, but we’ll know when we get there. We just need to go. Change of scenery.”

He tapped on his phone while fetching my small overnight bag from the shelf in the closet. “Andrea, hey, Ryan Christensen. I need a private, restful hotel off the radar within two hours of my home base in Rhode Island.”

Weekend

“Whoever you called to book this needs a raise.”

Ryan opened the French doors to the private deck to let some fresh air in, stretching as he stepped toward the railing. We could see a few boats out on the water. their lights illuminating the darkness.

We ended up in Newport at a breathtaking inn on the coast. I could feel the stress lift as we were guided to an adorable private cottage decorated in soft hues with a wide, wooden plank floor. A wall of windows with billowy white curtains overlooked the ocean.

“Definite raise,” I muttered, taking in the huge soaking tub made for two.

Ryan came back inside and slipped his hand across my shoulder as he leaned to turn the water faucet on. It was when he started to undress me that I felt uneasy. The day had been too mentally taxing for a rousing bout of sex.

“Ryan, I’m not . . .”

He kissed my shoulder and shushed me. “I know, baby. That’s not the point of this.”

He stripped off his clothes and climbed into the tub first, holding out a hand as I stepped in. The hot water felt magnificent and instantly leeched some of the tension from my body. I rested my head on his chest, wishing that moments like these could be norm between us and for the most part, they were.

“You okay?” he murmured as I got comfortable on him.

I nodded. His soapy hands slid up and down my back, over my arms, up through the tenseness of my neck.

“Good. Just relax.”

“You’re so quiet,” I murmured after a while, needing to break the silence.

“I was thinking about something you said to me on the first day we met.” He sluiced more hot water over my arm, warming my exposed skin.

“Oh?”

He dipped us deeper into the water, seeming concerned that my shoulders were cold. They were. “I was sitting at your bar and you were doing your best to ignore me.”

I remembered doing that, but didn’t want to admit it. I chased a few soap bubbles around on his chest with my finger. “I was not.”

Ryan squeezed me. “Yes, you were. Don’t lie.”

“Damn. Okay. Maybe just a little. I was freaked-out that you were even there.”

With his lips on my temple, he said, “I wanted to get you to talk to me and I asked you if you were always this quiet and you said something like ‘I’m sure the silence and peace is refreshing.’” Our gazes met. “I just want you to relax and not worry about things.”

And just like that, he was making my world peaceful. “When I close my eyes, I can almost ignore it all,” I said.

“Then close your eyes.”

“If only it were that easy.”

I felt his chest rise and fall, making the water ripple.

“I’m sorry about the Thomas thing. I—”

Ryan raised my chin with his fingertip, making eye contact. “Do I need to be concerned about it?”

I shook my head and quickly said, “No.”

He let my chin go. “Then I’m not worried about it. I sort of expected it, actually.”

I looked back up at him. “You did?”

His elbow came up out of the water and rested on the edge of the tub. “Tar, you and I are all over the news. Shit always gets dredged up. It was only a matter of time before one of your ex-boyfriends tried to stake a claim. He doesn’t have any dirt on you, does he?”

I winced from the thought. “I don’t think so.”

Ryan was silent for so long, I thought maybe he’d dozed off, but his tempered breathing told me otherwise.

“So what else is stirring in your thoughts?” His fingers skimmed along my jaw. “I can’t read your mind but I know it’s going a million miles an hour, so you have to tell me where your head’s at.”

“My head is still stunned, fighting with the feeling that everything has changed and yet nothing has changed.”

His hand slid down to my rear, curling my leg over his thigh. “Dwelling on your ex?”

I heard the minute tinge of worry in his question. “No. Not dwelling. Not at all. But I am processing. He told me he slept with that girl because he was mad that I left him in bed to go help Pete.”

Ryan made a derisive snort. “Are you serious?”

“Serious.”

“What an asshole. His loss.” Then he nudged me with his chin. “You upset about it?”

I rested my hand on his broad shoulder, feeling his heartbeat on my cheek. “No. I never knew why he cheated on me. I’ve spent way too much time thinking that I wasn’t good enough.”

His hand cupped my head and he kissed my hair tenderly. “Don’t ever think that.”

“It’s hard not to. Whatever. At least now I know why he did it.”

His cheek brushed my forehead. “Then I’m glad you got closure. There are too many past hurts standing in our way. Yours and mine.”

I had to remind myself that we’d
both
been betrayed by lovers. “His infidelity broke me.”

He tipped my chin up again and kissed me. “Nothing that I can’t fix.” He smiled gently, warming my battered spirit. I loved this man so deeply I could hardly contain it, knowing that he would weather any storm in our path. I needed to kiss him more than I needed anything else in the world.

Ryan’s teeth grazed my bottom lip but then he pulled back, not letting himself get carried away, though I could see that he had to fight his body for control. Knowing that he was restraining his urges to care for me this way was more than any gift he could ever give me. I rested on his chest, content in knowing that he’d get me through whatever life had in store for me.

Regardless of my feelings for Thomas, seeing him cry at Melanie’s funeral emotionally ravaged me and those thoughts of her passing were still swirling in my mind. “I can’t believe Melanie is gone. It’s hard to process that.”

“It sucks. I had a good friend in high school die in a car wreck. For weeks after it happened, I could have sworn I heard his voice in the halls.” He took a deep breath. “I was supposed to hang out with him the night he died. When I think about how close I came to . . . well, I think about it sometimes.”

I glanced up at him, grateful to be able to share these things.

“Wasn’t your time.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“It’s been a few years since I’d seen her last. I guess that put some distance in our friendship. And I know that Thomas is devastated by it. He came looking for comfort and we sort of jumped on him. I feel crappy about it, actually. They both were a huge part of my life for a lot of years. I shouldn’t have treated him so callously.”

Ryan sniffed and I could tell he didn’t agree. “I know you two have history but he had to be told that that’s where it stays . . . in the past. I have enough shit to worry about without having to worry about him trying to worm his way back into your life.”

I groaned, wrapping my thigh over his. “He’s not going to worm his way back in. You know you have nothing to worry about.”

“Just making sure it stays that way. Still, he needed to hear that from me. You leave a guy an in and he’ll take it.”

“I’d say you got your point across. Doesn’t matter. He’s history.”

Ryan cupped some water and poured it down his face. I could sense his frustration.

“Are you really that bothered by him?”

“No.” He sighed and rubbed his forehead.

“Then what is it?”

He seemed hesitant. “We got other shit to worry about.”

I held his eyes until he broke. “I know this isn’t the best time to talk about this but I want to keep you informed before you hear it from someone else.”

I closed my eyes, fearing what he had to say.

“Marla is threatening to sue me for breach of contract.”

I actually relaxed and breathed a sigh of relief before fully processing his words.
“What?”

“My lawyer, Len Bainbridge, called me yesterday. He and David are working it out but I have to settle up with her. Her bill was seventy-five thousand.”

“Are you going to pay that?”

“I’m going to have to. But not until we get all the expensive lawyers involved first.”

“God, she’s infuriating. I still think she’s the one who leaked your anxiety medicine to the press.”

“I think so, too. Can’t prove it, though, unless we find the source. I’ll mention that to my lawyer.”

“Well, I doubt it was Trish. She’s got too much to lose being that careless. And it surely wasn’t Mike. None of my friends know, well, besides Marie. Your family wouldn’t talk to the press, so that leaves David, Marla, or the woman at the pharmacy.”

“David wouldn’t talk to the press.”

“Well, then what does that tell you?”

“Tells me that the list of people I can trust just got smaller.”

I was feeling mostly relaxed and right with the world when we came back to the apartment on Sunday—that was until we had to deal with the four fangirls camped out by my back door. I was shocked that these college-aged girls had nothing more important to do with their lives than hang out in an alleyway all day hoping for a glimpse of Ryan.

Ryan, of course, was gracious as always, signing crap and posing several times until they were all satisfied with the pictures they captured.

We have to move,
I thought as we trudged up the steps, trying to be loud enough so we wouldn’t walk into an awkward situation going on
inside
my apartment.

Mike was sprawled out on my couch, wearing nothing but baggy gray sweatpants, a black sleeveless undershirt, and a well-sated glow. He looked like a giant lion lying belly-up in the sun with his legs hanging open, licking his paws and airing out his balls. I figured Marie would be twined around him, enjoying their postcoital bliss, but she was in the kitchen making coffee.

“You both look well rested,” she said, smiling at Ryan and me. Ryan winked at her and took our bags to our room.

I took a cup out of the cabinet. “We had a couples massage yesterday. I wish I could hire someone to do nothing but rub my shoulders every day. You look well ridden and glowing yourself.”

“You know it.” Marie gave me a high-five. She carried a cup of coffee out to Mike. Ryan had his feet up on my coffee table, looking just as relaxed and contented as his buddy. The lascivious grins flying around my living room were humorous. I felt my body heat up just from thinking about what Ryan did to me that morning . . . and the night before . . . and after our couples massage yesterday.

The way Mike looked at Marie, I wondered if he was already falling in love with her.

Marie sat on the arm of the couch next to Mike. I liked seeing him reach for her with tender familiarity, as if he couldn’t wait to touch her again. “Do you think you guys can help me today?” Her eyes traveled over each of us. “I’d like to get some of my stuff from my old house.”

Within an hour, we were all standing in Gary’s front yard. Seeing Marie have to knock on her own front door to gain access infuriated me. The bastard actually had the audacity to change all the door locks on her. Gary came out of the house, pulling the door shut behind him.

“Just let me get my clothes!” Marie screamed at him, shaking with frustration. The first few times she tried to ask nicely and beg him to let her in didn’t work.

Gary jingled the car keys in his hands, blocking our entry into the house. “You should have called first. I’ve got someplace to be. Now’s not a good time.”