Love Me ~ Without Regret (14 page)

Clay

My life has been made better with Lizzie in it. I’ll admit the first time I saw her about eight months ago, the same day I actually met my half-brother Cash, she was just a pretty face with a rocking body. I wanted her, sure, but not for the right reasons. They were purely animalistic then. But I had put those days behind me because I’d been seriously burned. While all my friends were still going out and hooking up with any random hot chick that promised them head, I was still trying to let go of the pain of my only regret. From that point on, I decided I would live life without regrets. Surviving that one regret does make me a little more cautious on a few things, though

Getting to know Lizzie for six months and being friends before we started an intimate relationship has helped build a solid foundation for our relationship. Hell, after a couple of months, I wanted her so bad. She was the first and is the last woman I will ever date since shit hit the fan and stopped me from doing anymore casual hookups. I’m so glad all of that is in my past and Lizzie is my future.

“I wonder where the guys are. We’re supposed to take the stage soon.” I look at my watch. I hate to be late. In my opinion, if you’re not five minutes early, you’re already late. I pull out my phone and send Ryder a text. He’s the one that seems to be able to get shit done if I’m not around. Kane is always chasing pussy or eating pussy, so he’s normally the one that holds us up. Michael, well he’s Michael. He doesn’t say much and he’s really laid back, therefore he lets Kane run all over him.  Ryder is the peacemaker, he’s organized, and kind of acts as the band manager of sorts. He has in the last nine months anyway, since mom and dad passed away and everything happened. Then I was going to leave the band altogether, but the guys came with me to Alabama and we bought the bar. The rest is as they say is history.

“Are you in there, Clay?” Lizzie runs her hand down my arm. “I told you Bailey sent me a text and said they were outside.”

I must have been lost in thought, “Sorry, Babe, I was thinking about the band, which made me think about Mom and Dad. I know how proud Dad would have been to hear me sing here. But I’m not going to focus on that, right now. I sent Ryder a text. He knows to come in the band entrance, but I told him to bring everyone else that way, too.”

“I thought you guys sang country music at first, but you don’t. What is the genre called?” She asks, swinging her legs back and forth on the barstool.

“I listen to all genres of music, growing up around musicians. I have an appreciation for all of it.”

“I can see where that would be the case. Do you have a favorite type? What do you like to sing the most? I’ve heard a mixture.”

“I like to take something and make it my own. It’s normally somewhere in between rock and country.” I tell her.

“So it’s Clayism?” She laughs.

“I guess you could say that, but the whole band likes to do that.” I glance over at her.

“So how did you come up with that ridiculous name ‘Heart Poppin’ Mustangs’?”

“We’d get asked that all the time, but most people say it’s cool, not ridiculous. You probably wouldn’t believe me if I told you. I wanted us to be called ‘The Wild Mustangs’ because I love horses and mustangs fascinate me. The guys didn’t think that sounded very original. They wanted something that made us stand out. Kane even wanted to name us ‘The Cherry Popper’. Very stupid I know, but I got out voted. At least I changed their minds a little and that’s how we ended up with our wonderful name.” I flash my gaze over at her to gauge her reaction.

“I like ‘The Wild Mustangs’ so much better. Now that I know that you guys want to be known for breaking hearts, I think I need to take back everything I said earlier. I don’t know if I want anything to do with any of y’all.”

She looks hurt. I want her to smile again. She’s not supposed to look hurt. No, dammit.

“No, they wanted to be known that way, not me, Lizzie. I’m not like that. Have I slept around and had one-night stands? Yes, and I enjoyed every minute of them. But the girls approached me, I never went out searching for girls to screw.” I put my hand on my chest in defense.

“I’m just teasing you, Clay. Get your panties out of your crack.” She scrunches up her cute little button nose.

“Why do you even have panties on? Are y’all into some kinky shit? I want to join in the fun!” Kane announces his presence.

I slap him on the back of his head because if we said yes he would take us up on the offer. “Shut the fuck up and find your own woman to get kinky with. Leave mine alone.” I give him a warning glare.

He ignores my attempts of intimidation and gives Lizzie a squeeze. He hugs all women, young or old. It’s his form of greeting. 

“How are you, Kane? Out chasing women already?” Lizzie laughs.

“I wouldn’t have to chase any if you would dump Clay for me, beautiful.” He winks at her.

His so-called innocent flirting reminds me of something my Grandmother Higginbottom would say to us—something along the lines of there’s a little truth behind just kidding and a little pain behind I’m okay. In the past, I never cared that Kane tried to charm my dates or girlfriends, but Lizzie is my woman. If he doesn’t quit this shit, he and I are about to have a ‘Come to Jesus Meeting’ as Bailey calls it. Either that or he will meet the business end of my fist once again.

“Oh, I don’t know, he’s got a pretty tight hold on me. I don’t think I’m going anywhere.” Lizzie smiles over at me, running the tip of her tongue across her bottom lip.

“Woman, you make me want to do naughty things to you in public.” I pull her in by the waist and give her a dip kiss like you see in the old movies.

Bailey and Cash finally join us, making our group almost complete.

“Awe, how sweet. Cash, why don’t you ever lay me back that way and kiss me?” Bailey asks.

Cash literally kisses the ground Bailey walks on. I can’t believe in a few more weeks they will be married. Bailey is exceptionally close to her grandparents and wants to have the ceremony before anything happens to them, as they’re both in bad health.

“I’ve got to save something for the honeymoon, Sweet Cheeks,” Cash says.

“You guys can come and set to the side of the stage with Lizzie. I don’t want her to be alone. Where’s Denise and Oakley?”

“Oakley has been on the phone all day and Denise has been trying to get her to get off long enough to get ready.” Bailey says and looks at Lizzie. These two are able to carry on full conversations and never utter a word.

“Oakley knows how to skip the line. They’ll be fine. She can’t sit at the bar so you guys might want to grab a couple of these barstools for them. With this place being so small they don’t have a designated friends table, so they always put seats at the side of the stage. I don’t need to be worrying about my little sister while I’m up there singing.”

“Gimme a kiss before you go on stage, baby,” Lizzie says.

“This show will be a little different than the ones at the Lonely Heart,” I whisper. “I’m not trying to get discovered, but that doesn’t mean the guys don’t want to. So, I may shake my ass and put on a show, babe, but it’ll only be to help them. Okay?” I want to make sure she understands why I’m about to do what I’m about to do. Singing in Nashville is different than singing in my own bar in Alabama. Here, people expect more of a performance. Back home, they want you to sing.

“Yeah, Babe, do I get a private show tonight?” She runs her hand along my inner thigh.

“Fuck yeah, then you can give me one. Then I’m going to take my cock and grind you so deep and hard you’ll be exploding.” I want to eat her up, right here and now.

“You think? Not before I take that cock myself and drain it of every ounce of come it has while I rub my pussy all over your face. I’m glad your ass is feeling all better, I’d hate for that to be the reason for you screaming tonight.”

Shit, now I have to go on stage with a raging hard on, and all I can think about is getting her back to the hotel. I step onto the tiny stage, which barely has enough room for the entire band. I’m not playing instrument tonight and the other guys are playing acoustic guitars.

“Now, The Bluebird Café would like to welcome The Heart Popping Mustangs.”

“Thanks, Jeff, hey guys, how are y’all doing? It’s great to be back here in Nashville! We are the band formally known as The Heart Popping Mustangs, but those days are behind us. Now we are Shades of Regret because my popping hearts days are over. All because of a woman I fell in love with. I’ve only told her a few dozen times tonight, but I want you all to hear me tell her how much I love her. Babe, come on up here,” I look over at Lizzie and she is beet red.

She shakes her head no.

I walk over and take her by the hand, bringing her up onto the stage with me.

She is being all shy, looking everywhere but out to the crowd. She has always been so outspoken, it never crossed my mind that this would embarrass her. “You guys, this is my Lizzie.” I turn Lizzie so I can see her eyes, “Babe, I love you and I’ll be loving you forever and a day. I’m going to keep telling you how much you mean to me until the day I die.” I give her a sweet crowd appropriate smack on the lips.

“I love you, too, Clay. I never thought it was possible for me to love someone and give my heart away. But you proved me wrong.”

“If that is the case, Babe, I want to spend the rest of my life showing you how very special you are to me.” I give her a peck on the tip of her nose. “Isn’t she the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen, ladies and gentlemen?”

Lizzie returns to her seat with a big grin on her crimson face.

We sing our songs and I roll my hips to the beat like I used to do. I’m no longer into this kind of show. Being discovered doesn’t interest me. I have a new passion in life. The most important thing I have in my life right now, other than my Ranch, is Lizzie. She is what matters to me, my sun, moon, and stars

We get a standing ovation for our performance. It’s like old times. I look over at my woman and remember it’s better than old times. I’ve got the love of a good woman now. I’ve got an entire family, not just Oakley and me, but Cash, Bailey, Cash’s mom Margie, and Bailey’s granny and papa all consider us family. I look briefly over at them, and they are all clapping for us. But Lizzie's face has the brightest smile and I think she’s nearly bouncing.

The guys and I pack up our gear while old friends come up to say hello. I motion for Lizzie to come over. I want her close to me. I want to hold her in my arms forever and never let her go. I don’t care what happened in our past. All I care about is our future. With Lizzie next to me, nothing can stop me.

seven

Lizzie

We are having such a good time in Nashville. Last night after the Bluebird, Clay was ready to head back to the hotel. Not that I was complaining. With all the sexy gyrating of his hips, I could barely sit still. He looked extra hot, and I was fanning my internal flame. 

Today, Clay has taken me sightseeing. Not only did we go to all the usual hot spots like the Ryman, but he took me back to his old neighborhood. We went to the house where he grew up. I didn’t realize he and Oakley left everything, in their house, behind when they moved to Alabama. They still need to go through everything and pack up. I guess he and Oakley will get around to it when they feel like they’re up to it. I would like to offer my help with the matter, or at least my support. I know they’re both still in a great deal of pain over losing their parents. Neither one of them has grieved or even processed their feelings.

I’m looking forward to meeting up with everyone tonight. We’re eating at the band’s favorite dive bar off the beaten path where these guys used to hang out. I love being in Clay’s neck of the woods and seeing him in his old stompin’ grounds. Everyone around here loves him and I know why. He’s honestly that great of a guy.

We’re all casual tonight. I’ve got on my skinny jeans and long sleeve crew neck t-shirt with my blue jean jacket from last night. Mom has let me borrow her turquoise scalloped necklace. So, even though I’m casual by Bailey standards, I’m a little more polished than normal. Dressing up a little bit for Clay feels good, and I want to look good for him. Not that I’m worried about losing him, he loves me, he told me so. But when I’m with Clay, I do want to look my best because I’m representing him, too. He struts a little when we go out and sees another guy checking me out. I can see the wheels turning in his head, ‘That’s right, cocksucker. She’s with me.’ and he gives them a cocky smile.

We’re the last couple to arrive at the bar. Clay distracted me in the shower, and I had to take care of business. But you’ll never hear me bitching about doing my job. It’s the best-paying one I’ve ever had, and I get much more in return. I know we’ll catch hell about being late because Clay is notoriously early. He’s always getting on to everyone for being late. It’s one of his pet peeves.

“I thought you said this place was a dive. It looks expensive to me.” I cut my eyes over to Clay. He has some mixed up ideas of the type of establishment places are.

“No, Babe, it’s called The Dive. It’s a nice place. Michael’s family owns it. That’s the reason we were here all the time to eat. They would feed us and we would help out with small jobs they needed to have done.” Clay laughs, hooking his arm around my shoulder.