Lost Princess (5 page)

Max looked frankly shocked at my sudden attack of nerves. To be honest I was shocked as well. When had I started to worry that he would be disappointed in me? When had I started to care one way or the other? He reached down to take my hands and pry the shimmer out of my fists. “Katrina,” he said, almost to himself. “Who would have guessed there was a shy virgin under all your bluster?”

“I am a virgin,” I admitted, forgetting my lines. “But I’ve never been shy.”

“Then don’t be shy now,” he said.

“But…but I’m not—”

Max stopped me from talking by pulling me against him and kissing me until I could barely remember my own name, much less whatever it was I was saying. “Now,” he said, “You will undress me.”

“I will?” I asked, surprised.

“Katrina, you are forgetting what you are to say. What is it I told you was the right answer?”

I met his eyes. How could I have ever described his eyes as cold? If anything they burned with a slow fire. “Yes, please,” I breathed.  For the second time since we’d been wed, and possibly only the tenth time ever that I’d seen, Max smiled. I let my eyes drop to his shirt, and I tried to unfasten it, but my hands were trembling now, and he had to help me. His shirt was soon open, and I froze, staring at his chest. This was the first time I’d seen a man’s bare chest, and I was enthralled. Without conscious thought I reached out and touched his ribs lightly, letting my fingers dance along up until I reached his shoulders, muscled and hard. I swallowed as I pushed his shirt off down his arms and then to the floor, discarded. I hadn’t ever thought to find a man’s body seductive, but as I looked at him, blood rose in my cheeks and I swayed slightly.

He didn’t notice or at least didn’t seem to notice my reaction. He looked over at the bed. Then he looked back at me, seeming to choose his words carefully. “Do you know what will happen there?“I nodded slowly. I knew the basics, at least. Max continued, “And where did you come by this information? A reliable source?” He might have been amused. Since I don’t think I’d ever seen him amused, it was difficult to say.

I shook my head, not really knowing the answer to that. Callista had been my source of information, but where she’d gotten the information, I had no idea. “Your cousin?” he prompted, his hands gently sliding along my back.

I nodded.

Max tilted my chin to force me to me look at him.  “She’s wrong.”

I blinked at him stupidly.“I’m instructing you to forget anything she told you. Can you do that?“I wasn’t at all sure I could.

Max pulled me against him again, still wearing his pants. “You know I’ve been married before?”

I nodded.

“I was surprised to learn my wife had been told that to feel passion with a man was wrong, against the rules, and would be thought of badly by me.”

I nodded, mystified. “And?”

He nodded at me as if I’d confirmed his suspicions. “Women, by and large, are fools. What do you feel when I do this?” His hand slowly touched my breast, his calloused thumb barely rubbing the tip of my nipple. My stomach jerked as if there was a direct line between my nipple and my belly. His eyes bored into mine. “Answer me, wife, and do not pretend or prevaricate.“I thought about what Callista had told me. Was this part of the breaking of my spirit? To get me to admit my wickedness? She’d said I shouldn’t fight it, but did that mean I should do as he said, or what I thought he wanted?

Max was not pleased when I didn’t answer. His jaw tightened and he gave me a soft push towards the bed. “Go, lie down, wife.” His voice was again harsh.

Hurt, I did as he bade me, crawling across the bed to sit in the middle like a sacrificial offering.

He paused in the act of taking off his pants. “Wife? Did you not hear me? Lie down.“I swallowed and lay back, staring at the ceiling. It seemed the nice Max had gone and the angry one had returned. I should have expected no more or less. The fever that I’d thought I might have had fled now, leaving only cold in its place. I forced myself to lie still and not cringe away as I felt the bed move under his weight. He’d blown out the candles and the only light came from the window, and not much of it at that since the shutters were closed against the chill.

When his hand touched me, I flinched. He paid me no heed but began to kiss me again, this time pressing his fully naked body against me. At first I didn’t even realize what was touching my hip, but when I did, I froze with fear. There was no way in the world that that was going to fit inside of me. He’d kill me.

He sighed and said, “Wife, what frightens you?” I wondered briefly if he’d forgotten my name. Were his wives interchangeable?

“You can’t….” I tried again, “It won’t work. It can’t…it will hurt me!“He rose above me in the dark. “Yes, it will, but I assure you it will work, despite your fears.” I stared up at him, wishing myself elsewhere. “You’re a virgin, so the first time is painful. Your cousin didn’t tell you that?”

“You said she was wrong,” I whispered.

“She was wrong to tell you to lie there like a block of ice. But no, she wasn’t wrong about that.”

I let my hand slowly ease down until I touched him. He stilled, and I explored this part of him, so unknown to me. It did not make me feel better, although he didn’t seem to mind my touch. It was far, far too big. How could he not know that? “My lord, I don’t want to anger you, truly, but it just will not work,” I said again.

“Wife, trust me,” he said in a voice that sounded little like his own. His hand had also found its way down my body until he touched me where he would soon try to force that monster to go. I tightened, much as he had when I touched him. His fingers explored me, and I felt again that twist in my stomach. He put one finger inside of me, moving it about gently. I was wet there now, and I wondered why that was. He now had two fingers inside of me and the fit was tight.

“See?” I said a little breathlessly. While it felt strange, it was not at all painful. “I told you it wouldn’t fit.”

Max leaned in and kissed me. “Wife, I assure you it will. You will cease your arguments.” He moved so his weight was partially on me. “Open your legs.” I bit my lip but did as he directed. I could feel him pressing at my entrance, and I braced myself. He pushed himself in slightly, and I felt a slight burning as I stretched to accommodate him. I let a small moan emerge as he pushed in another inch. Now he stopped, breathing rather quicker than he had before. He let his head drop, so he could kiss me, and as he did nothing more, I found my body relaxing its rigid position as the kiss heated me up again. It might be wicked, but I did like it when he kissed me.

 Without warning, he pushed himself in sharply deeper, and I screamed as pain shot up from where he was entering me. He again stopped and tried to kiss me again, but I wasn’t thinking now and was shaking my head at the thought of one more iota of movement from him. He couldn’t catch me to kiss me until he brought his hand to capture my chin and force me to be still for his mouth. At the same time he began to move inside of me, fully seating himself, then pulling out only to return inside. The pain was lessening, and I tried to only think about the kissing, not the pain I’d just endured. After some time, his movements quickened, and he tightened over me, his breathing stopping briefly. Then he relaxed, and I stared up at him. Was it over?

He rolled off me and on to his back, still breathing heavily. In time his breathing quieted, and I wondered if he might have fallen asleep when he said, “You are still hurting?”

I shook my head. “No, my lord.” I did, a little, but what good would it do to complain? Perhaps I’d immediately get pregnant and we’d never have to do it again. No matter that he said it would only hurt the first time, I’d felt that weapon of his, and I couldn’t imagine it ever being anything but painful.

I felt him move up on one elbow. “I promised you punishment this night.”

Without thinking I said, “And that was not punishment?” As soon as the words left my mouth I bit my lip, horrified at what I’d said.

But he didn’t get angry. “Perhaps for you it was,” he allowed. “But do you think it sufficient to pay for your running off?”

I threw caution to the winds and said, “Yes, please?“And the terrifying Regent Maximus
laughed
. I was so shocked I couldn’t even begin to think of a response. He shook his head over me and lowered his head to capture my mouth with his. He kissed me for a long time, more gently now. As he pulled away I realized that at some point I’d wrapped my arms around his neck and was holding him tightly. I let go quickly and was thankful for the darkness that hid my blush.

He said nothing about it but lay back and pulled me to him until my head rested on his shoulder. He reached down and pulled my leg up over his, so I was on my side, facing him, and wrapped about him like an amorous snake. “Go to sleep, wife,” he said a little gruffly, and I relaxed against him, glad that at least for tonight, the coupling was over.

Chapter Four

I was dreaming about being ill with a fever when I woke the next morning. I hadn’t been able to fall asleep initially last night. I felt sore and battered, and although my cousin and I had slept in the same bed for years, I was unused to a man in my bed. When I did fall asleep, I seemed to wake every time Max moved until close to morning when I’d fallen deeply asleep. I opened my eyes and for one odd moment, was unsure of where I was. Then I didn’t actually care where I was.

Again the luscious feeling swept over me. Max had his head against my breast and was licking at my nipple. I’d never thought such a thing would be considered, and I certainly never thought it would feel so very amazing. Still waking, I didn’t try to act in any way but mindlessly arched against his mouth, offering more of myself. In response, Max took the nipple into his mouth and sucked firmly. A high wail of ‘ooo’ exploded from my mouth as I closed my eyes and surrendered myself to the feelings racing through me.

Max’s mouth stayed busy on my breast, but his hand, oh, his hand was touching me very softly down where my legs met. Had I any mind about me, I’d have been curious as to why he would do that, but I had gone straight from sleep to the turbulently lovely feelings surging through me and hadn’t a coherent thought in my head. Another feeling was gathering inside of me as his fingers flicked gently at me, and it was pleasant, surely, but also becoming stronger, stronger, until I wasn’t at all sure I could stand it. My breathing was ragged, labored, as if I was running for my life. And it was like running, chasing something, chasing it and wanting to catch it so badly I was nearly crying. And then I caught it. Something seemed to burst inside of me and I screamed long and loud, my body feeling a bit like it was turning itself inside out.

The feelings slowly faded, and I became aware that Max had come over me as he had the night before and was slowly filling me up with that weapon of his. There was a mild sting but no real pain, just fullness as he worked himself in completely. My body was still shaking from whatever had happened to it moments ago, and I felt myself tighten again as he began that slow, mesmerizing movement. This time I didn’t try to escape it but let my legs hug him, my hips welcoming each thrust. I lost myself again as the chase took off and I writhed against him as his tempo increased and I gave a weak shriek when that explosion of feeling took me. Max gave one more strong thrust, and gave a hoarse cry as he stiffened above me, seeming to experience something similar to what had happened to me mere moments before.

This morning we were
both
panting and sweaty as Max rolled off me to spare me his weight. I caught my breath and sat up to stare at him. “My lord, something is wrong with me, I fear,” I said a bit unsteadily.

Max let a sated smile ease his usually severe face. “No, wife, nothing is wrong with you. God intended both the man and woman to feel pleasure during the making of a child.”

“But last night…”

He opened his slate colored eyes. “Last night you were frightened and under the impression that what you felt was wrong.”

“And it’s not? Truly?” I couldn’t help the relieved if not joyful note in my voice.

“No, Katrina, it’s not. In truth, I’m pleased with you.”

“Pleased with me?” I had never expected to hear those words from Max.

He shook his head at my shock and pushed the covers aside. He rose and I saw blood upon him. Of course, my virgin’s blood. I looked down at myself and the blood there. Max noticed my consternation and said, “You may wish to bathe.”

There was a place each morning to get clean in the castle. Men used it first, and then the women, and lastly the servants. It was essentially a room with a drain in the floor where servants would toss water upon the people there as they cleaned themselves with soap. It was actually quite pleasant, and I rarely missed a day, even in the dead of winter when admittedly even the fire didn’t keep up with the cold, and the water was nearly icy. My father had been big on cleanliness, and he had raised me to bathe daily, in spite of the difficulty in obtaining and draining the water. Max’s way was much easier, and unless something kept me from there at the appointed hour, I was clean each day.

Today when I entered the outer room and shed my clothes, several other women eyed me curiously. Usually no one noticed me at all, and to have eyes on me made me a little nervous, especially with the evidence of what I had been doing there so plain on my legs.

I didn’t see Callista and tried to keep my head down as a servant poured tepid water over my head, wetting my hair. I had squatted down so that the servant could more easily reach me, and I stood and lathered myself up, feeling unaccountably self-conscious and aware of my body. I heard one lady say to another, “Looks like he used her well.” Color rose in my cheeks and the other replied, “Still alive, though, so she’s not used up yet.” I finished my washing and escaped out to the outer chamber where I dressed again with as much speed as I could.

I went down to break my fast, certain that Max wouldn’t want to be kept waiting. He was already seated at the table and didn’t seem to notice when I slid into the chair on his left. He and Devlin were deep in conversation, but Devlin ceased and looked over at me. “Good morning, my lady,” he said kindly. “You look well.“I gave him a small smile, watching Max warily. Yes, he’d given me more pleasure than I’d known existed not an hour ago, but that didn’t alter the fact at all that he scared me. But Max looked unusually relaxed and calm.