Authors: Cacey Hopper

London Escape (25 page)

It’s a chilly December day in Connecticut. I dress warmly in a sweater, tuck my jeans into my tall suede boots, and pull a knitted cap over my hair. Thanks to Jason’s thoughtful disguise last summer my hair barely reaches my shoulders. At least the hair dye has washed out, and it’s back to being flame-red again. I blink at myself in the mirror and see what I always do: my mother’s face. I have her green eyes, red hair that is wavy but not curly, high cheekbones and a mouth that sometimes seems too small for my face. For once I smile at the resemblance. It was the one blessing of that whole harrowing trip, learning the truth. She didn’t leave; she wanted me and loved me. But that couldn’t change the fact that she was still gone.

I sigh and turn away from the mirror. Plucking up my coat, bag, and gloves on the way out, I pause to turn off all the lights and arm the security system. A Hawthorn tradition, no one gets into our place.

My gloved hands grip the steering wheel tightly as I merge on to I-95. It would be at least an hour before I reach New Haven, giving me plenty of time to ready myself. Again, I find myself wondering what Jason meant by asking me out today. Five months ago we had walked away from one another, not for good, he had promised we’d be together again. We were supposed to wait for the dust to settle, for things to return back to normal for the both of us. I’m pretty sure that our lives aren’t normal yet, most of the time I wonder if they ever will be again. Somehow this thought makes me feel less than enthused about this dinner. The way I feel about Jason is complicated. He drives me crazy, and not always in a good way. After all, he was the one who dragged me into the mess with the jewels. I know he cares about me, I’ve never questioned that. But I do doubt his capabilities to actually be in a relationship. Which is exactly why we’ve broken up and gotten back together more times than I can count. I’m growing tired of it. Life isn’t a game to me anymore. So with that I decide, tonight will be the night to lay it on the line with Jason, all or nothing.

I sigh. I’m kidding myself and I know it.

I have to drive around the block three times before I find a parking spot I can squeeze my tiny Prius into. Jason has picked one of the most popular pizza joints in town. There is a line outside, but he texts me saying he has a table inside already. I edge my way through the crowd and into the overly warm restaurant. I spot Jason is in a corner booth and he rises when I head over. Right away I know I’m in trouble. He looks good. No, better than good. College life must suit him, his brown eyes are bright with excitement and he’s grinning his usually irritating crooked grin.

“Hey, Kit,” he says before pulling me into a quick hug.

It’s friendly, brief, but still it does something to my heart rate that I don’t appreciate.

“You look nice,” he says sincerely as we sit across from one another.

“Thanks,” I mutter. Trying not to meet his eyes I pull my hat off and run a hand through my hair.

“So, happy birthday, how does it feel to be eighteen?”

I shrug nonchalantly. “Okay, I guess.”

He picks up the menu. “What’s your dad up to lately?”

“Working.” My eyes narrow, he knows I don’t like talking about my dad’s work in public. Halcyon is a secret organization, after all. “How’s your dad?” I counter.

“Still a jailbird.” Jason doesn’t pause. Apparently he is far more comfortable with his father’s status than I am.

When I don’t respond further he looks up, his wavy brown hair almost in his eyes. “Bacon and pepperoni right?”

I nod, still trying to maintain an aloof attitude while he orders our pizza. We’re both silent until the waitress brings us two root beers.

“You know, there’s a reason I asked you here.” He leans forward conspiratorially.

“Really?”

“Yes.” He takes a sip of his drink but doesn’t elaborate.

I’m about to ask more when a female voice calls out Jason’s name. He looks up. I’m too busy watching his face to see who it is, but I see an equal mixture of delight and panic cross his face. He’s on his feet again, like he was when I walked up and hugging a tall brunette before I even know what’s happening. They’re talking now, quickly catching up while I sit, mute and numb. Of course, Jason knows other girls besides me, this shouldn’t surprise me. But still, it does. Maybe because there’s something different about this. The way she’s left her hand resting on his forearm while they chit chat, how he’s leaning in closer to hear her over the crowd. I don’t have a name for the feeling that wells up inside me, but I didn’t like it.

“Oh, this is my friend, Kit,” Jason is saying now.

I look up, give a small wave and pretend to be occupied sending a text message on my phone. If I had sent a real one it would have read, “Mayday! Mayday!”

Jason and the brunette are still talking and I can feel Jason glancing at me uncomfortably. I ignore him.

Finally they part, with him promising to call her soon. He sits back down and at least has the brains to look ashamed.

“Friend of yours?” I wave my phone in the direction of the retreating girl.

He nods. “Yeah, Sara, she was in my Greek course downtown.”

“Ah, I see.” I really don’t.

Just then our server plops down a steaming bacon and pepperoni pizza. I stare at it, suddenly not hungry at all. I’m miles away, retreating backward in time, to the moment we decided to part ways at the end of the summer, and remembering what he had promised me. Tears spring into my eyes, but I take a deep breath and force my own emotions down deep.

“So,” I look up and pick up a slice of pizza, “did you two go out?”

He’s in the middle of a bite and looks at me in surprise. He chews then shrugs. “Sort of.”

“Hmm,” is all I say, returning to my own food. I came here for answers and I’m pretty sure I’ve found them. There’s a pain inside me suddenly, throbbing and aching at the thought of Jason not being in my life. But it’s for the best, I can’t keep this up.

I finish my pizza in silence. Jason is quiet too and I can tell he’s deep in thought over something. As my eyes flicker over his face I have the sudden impression whatever is on his mind has nothing to do with the girl that just left. A surge of curiosity moves through me then, but I push it away. I’m done.

“Well,” I begin, “thanks for dinner, but I’d better get going, traffic is going to be brutal.”

He’s stunned speechless as I get up and walk away. I don’t look back and when I get to the sidewalk I take a deep breath of cold air and hurry to my car. It’s snowing in earnest now, and my car has a least an inch of snow piled up on it. Muttering to myself I unlock the trunk and pull out a snow scraper. I’ve just begun cleaning off the snow when I hear a voice behind me. A hand grips my shoulder. Instantly I reach up, grasp his forearm and spin on one foot, pulling my attacker around and down. Jason’s head slams on the hood of my car, his face full of snow.

“Oh my gosh, Jason I’m so sorry, you scared me!” I let go of his arm right away, embarrassed. But he seems to be barely restraining his laughter.

“It’s okay.” He stands up and turns, brushing the snow from his hair. He is laughing, and there’s a red welt appearing on his forehead. “Where are earth did you learn how to do that?”

“My dad signed me up for self-defense classes back in September.” It was a concession for my dad, of course. And for me, it has been better than therapy.

“Vey nice.” He sounds impressed.

“What do you want Jason?” I sigh, finally letting my frustration show. He has seemingly dragged me all the way out here only to flaunt his status as a single college guy who isn’t tied down to anyone, certainly not to me.

He bites his lip for a second as though unsure of what to say. He stuffs his hands in his pocket suddenly. “I forgot to give you your present.”

I hope my surprise doesn’t show. He hadn’t exactly given me many presents in the past, so why now?

He grins sheepishly and places a small object in my palm. His warm fingers brush against my cold ones, I hadn’t had time to put on my gloves. Looking down I see a small, round metal object. The metal looks like brass, or it least it was before it became tarnished from age. It looks like a pocket watch or—

“It’s a compass,” he says suddenly.

Snow is falling and melting on the warm metal, I can just barely make out a faint engraving on the lid. “Not all those who wander are lost,” I breathe.

“Tolkien,” he affirms.

“Wow, thanks Jason, I—” The truth is, I love it, but I’m not so sure I want him to know just how much.

“Yeah, it’s no big deal. I found it at an antique shop downtown and it made me think of you.”

“Why?”

“Because you never seem to lose your way, you always know the right path to take.” His eyes meet mine and I’m inexplicably drawn into their depths.

“Look, the truth is Kit I haven’t called you because I’ve been doing exactly what I said I would. Trying to move on, trying to forget. But I can’t, and I’m sure you’re facing the same problems I am. We won’t ever be able to get past the things that happened last summer. Unless…” The words come tumbling out suddenly, but he lets the one hang.

Without warning fear rushes through me. Somehow I know exactly what he is going to say.

“Unless we take matters into our own hands again.”

When I don’t reply right away he takes the snow scraper out of my hand and finishes clearing the windshield. After that he returns to my side and fishes the keys out of my coat pocket. I’m still too stunned to reply.

He opens the passenger door. “Get in.”

“Where are we going?”

“My place.” He gets in and starts the engine so I have no choice but to obey. He looks over at me and an ominous feeling seems to hover over us. “There’s something you need to see.”

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