Lizzie Marshall's Wedding (27 page)

‘I just don’t want to take anything for granted, that’s all. I’ve done that too many times in the past and been wrong. I’m very happy with things the way they are and besides, it has only been six months. You can’t expect people to make such a major decision about their lives after only six months.’

‘Really? I decided I wanted to marry Ben after our first date last Sunday.’

‘And I’m marrying Phil, and I only met him on Saturday.’

Becky was astonished. ‘What?’

‘Well, it’s true, and there’s no point in pretending it’s not,’ Jess said. ‘When you know, you just know.’

‘What if they don’t feel the same?’

‘But what if they do? Think about that Becky. Maybe Max thinks you’re the one who isn’t ready.’

Becky sighed and sipped her coffee, watching the rain bounce off the pavement. Were they right, she wondered, did Max think she wasn’t ready? He’d said in the beginning that he thought she was the one holding back but now? They were always talking about the future as if they would be together forever; they joked about the twenty children. Should she say something? Tell him that she was ready to commit to him. But was he really ready to commit to her?

‘Who’s that?’ Jess asked, dragging Becky from her thoughts and nodding towards the man standing under the tree across the road from the café.

Becky glanced at him and thought she recognised him but she couldn’t think from where.

‘No idea. He’s probably waiting for someone.’

‘Well he’s been staring at us for the last ten minutes or more. If you still owed money to the banks I’d start thinking they’d sent in the heavies. Do you know him Susie?’

‘No but you’re right. He’s been there for a while.’

‘He’s probably just thinking how cosy it looks in here and how wet it is out there,’ Becky said.

‘But he’s staring at
us
. Perhaps he’s thinking how gorgeous we all are.’ Jess grinned.

‘Perhaps he’s wondering why you’ve got purple and black hair and he can’t take his eyes off it,’ Susie quipped.

‘Or perhaps, Susie, the Diocese or whatever it’s called has sent someone to see if you are suitable to be dating a vicar.’

‘Or perhaps he’s just a man standing in the rain, trying to decide whether he wants a coffee or not.’ Becky glanced at her watch. ‘Is that the time? I’ve got to go and pick up Lily. I’ll see you later,’ She jumped up and threw on her raincoat.

‘Yeah. See you,’ Jess and Susie said simultaneously.

Becky dashed out and ran across the road. She saw the man move but she was going in the opposite direction, away from him. She didn’t see him turn and follow her down the street.

‘He’s following her!’ Jess was on her feet in a second, grabbing her raincoat with one hand and Susie with the other.

‘Hey you, stop! We’re calling the police!’Jess yelled.

‘Becky!’ Susie shouted.

Becky heard the commotion and looked round. She saw Jess and Susie frantically waving and running towards her. Then she saw Jess pointing at something. She spun round and sucked in her breath in surprise. The man who had been watching them was just a few feet away and from the expression on his weather-beaten face, he wasn’t happy.

He glanced back at Jess and Susie then made a final sprint towards Becky grabbing her by the arm. She screamed and tried to wrestle her arm free but he was too strong. He pulled her towards him.

‘Rebel! ... Rebecca! I won’t hurt you! Don’t be frightened. Please!’ He released her and stepped back.

Jess and Susie caught up and were about to pummel him with their bags and fists but Becky stopped them.

‘No!’ she yelled stepping between the man and her friends. ‘Don’t hurt him! He’s ... he’s my father.’

She didn’t know how she knew but she did. There was something about the way he had said her name, something about his features, even something about the way he’d grabbed her arm and she instantly knew who he was – and that he wouldn’t hurt her. As Jess had said, “When you know, you just know.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

‘I didn’t mean to scare you Rebecca, and I’m sorry if I hurt your arm. I ... I didn’t want you to get away from me again. I wasn’t thinking straight. I’m sorry.’ He spoke with a faint Australian accent and though his voice was gravelly it was kind.

They were in Becky’s sitting room and Jess and Susie were hovering in the kitchen. Becky had called Jenny, the mother of Lily’s friend, Emma, and asked if Lily could stay for another hour or so, and she’d invited her father back to her house, against both Jess and Susie’s advice.

‘You haven’t seen him for years. Your mother was terrified of him. He walked out on you. Don’t take him home. Take him to the café or something. Better still, call Max and see what he says,’ Jess had said.

‘He won’t hurt me. I know it Jess. I’m taking him home and I’m not calling Max – yet. I want to hear what he has to say.’

‘Well then we’re coming with you.’

‘I’ll be fine.’

‘Us or nothing,’ Jess said emphatically.

They had walked back to Becky’s in silence. Becky and her father kept glancing at one another but no one spoke until they were in the sitting room.

‘You didn’t hurt me, but you did scare me, until I recognised you.’

‘I ... I didn’t know if you would. It was so long ago. You were five when your mother took you.’

‘When mum took me – when you abandoned us you mean!’

He shook his head and his huge brown eyes filled with tears. ‘I would never have abandoned you Rebel, you were my life.’

‘Rebel!’ she repeated. ‘That’s what you used to call me. I ... I can’t remember why but I do remember the name.’

‘Because you always did the exact opposite of whatever your mother told you to. She said you were always rebelling and that it was my fault. So ... I called you Rebel.’

‘And I loved it, didn’t I? I ... I loved you too, didn’t I? More ... more than mum!’

He nodded. ‘We were inseparable you and I. Until ... ’

‘What happened? Why ... why did mum – take me, you said? And, why did she tell me you’d left us?’

‘I can’t answer the latter but I guess because she thought that way, you might not try to find me, might not try to come back when you were grown.’ He shrugged his shoulders. ‘As to why she took you well, that ... that was partly my fault – and I’m not proud of it but ... I think I’d better start from the beginning.’

‘Please.’

She couldn’t stop staring at him and he smiled at her for several seconds before he began.

‘It was a whirlwind romance. We met in Brighton when Lily was on holiday – she lived in Essex with her parents but she wasn’t very happy. We fell in love and after she went home, we would meet in London or I’d go to Essex and stay in a bed and breakfast and she’d come to me. Then she discovered she was pregnant. She came to live with my family in Brighton. My parents were moving to Australia and I was going with them, but I said I wouldn’t go unless you both came with me. We were young; you were born just days before Lily’s nineteenth birthday and she wasn’t sure about Australia but I persuaded her it would be a good life so she agreed and everything was rushed through. We actually married on the ship going over.’ He stopped and drank some of the coffee Jess had made.

‘I knew I was born in Brighton because of my birth certificate. I can remember coming here by ship but I couldn’t remember where we’d lived in between times.’

He nodded. ‘It was a mistake. I should have realised Lily would hate the life. We lived with my mum and dad and my grandparents on a sheep station, miles from anywhere. The nearest town was several hours drive. No life for a vibrant, nineteen year old girl from Essex. She said she wanted to go home but ... I loved it there. I could never have given you both such a good life here. I ... I suppose I was selfish but I kept thinking if she would just make the effort, she’d love it too. She didn’t. We rowed all the time. She said she wanted a divorce, to go home to her parents – not that they wanted her back, particularly. I said she could go, but she couldn’t take you. From the minute you could walk you were always out in the dirt with me, you loved the outdoors. You ... you can’t remember the station at all?’

Becky shook her head. ‘No. Strangely I don’t, but a few seconds after I saw you, just now, in the rain, it triggered something, a memory. I could remember you grabbing my arm and ... and I felt safe.’

He nodded. ‘I pulled you from a river during the rainy season. It was a day a bit like today only the rain was worse.’ He grinned crookedly. ‘When it rains in Aus; it rains.’

‘Lily was furious, said you could have died, said this hell hole was no place for either of you, said ... well, said some things about me, said she was taking you back to England and I’d never see you again. I ... I lost my temper and ... I’m not proud of this but she wouldn’t stop screaming and she lashed out at me. I pushed her away and she fell and cut her head. I had stopped loving her a while before but I’d never hurt her, not intentionally.’

Becky saw the pain and shame in his eyes and reached out her hand to him. ‘I know you wouldn’t. It wasn’t your fault.’

He sniffed and brushed a tear from his eye. ‘Lily thought it was and things got worse. I told her she could have her divorce and go but you were staying with me and she just said, “we’ll see about that” I ... I said that if she tried to take you, I’d come after her and ... and I’d kill her. I wouldn’t have Rebel – killed her I mean or ... or anything else but I think she thought I would. I don’t know. Anyway, things seemed to calm down for a few months. She ... she’d become friendly with one of the pilots who stopped by now and then and one day when I got back to the station, you’d both gone. No one saw you go but they had seen Hank, the pilot. I found him and he said she’d told him they were just going to town overnight and that I knew about it. She only took a small bag. No one saw her leave town and I still have no idea how she got from there to England although one of her friends from Essex did work on a cruise ship so maybe ... I don’t know.’

‘I don’t know either. The only thing I can remember is the ship and being very unhappy. And yet. I’m sorry if this upsets you but, it’s just so strange because, after we came here, I can remember being happy and ... and I didn’t remember you! How can that be?’

He shook his head. ‘I don’t know. Perhaps it was such a wrench, such a traumatic experience that ... that you shut it out. Maybe, if Lily told you enough times that I’d abandoned you, you believed it.’

‘Possibly I suppose. That would explain how I knew you wouldn’t hurt me just now. A suppressed memory or something. I ... I can’t believe that all these years, I thought you’d left me and really, we’d left you. Did ... did you ever hear from her again?’

‘No. I came to England to try and find you. Her parents told me she’d asked them for money which they’d given her but they hadn’t heard from her since. I searched everywhere I could think of, found her old friends, no one knew where she was – or if they did, they weren’t saying. We didn’t get the internet till years later – not a high priority on a sheep farm – but when I realised it could help find you, I started looking.’

‘And ... and you’ve only just found me!’

‘I found a photograph of you and your daughter, my granddaughter, taken at Easter. It was in your local paper. I’ve been searching for anything with a Lily, for your mum and Rebecca, for years and there are hundreds. I recognised you instantly and little Lily is the spitting image of you at her age. So here I am. Twenty seven years late but here just the same.’

Jess and Susie were dumbstruck. They’d been listening to every word – they knew she wouldn’t mind, the privacy was for her father’s benefit, not hers.

‘All those years, her mum lied to her!’ Jess said.

Susie just nodded; she couldn’t find any words to say.

‘What I don’t understand is, she must have contacted you for the divorce. Didn’t she give you an address then or was it just via solicitors?’

He looked confused. ‘We’re not divorced. Lily’s still my legal wife.’

Becky, Jess and Susie all gasped in unison and she spun round to look at her friends. ‘That means ... Oh my God! No wonder he couldn’t adopt me!’

‘Who couldn’t adopt you? What do you mean Rebel? Why ... why did you think we were divorced?’

Becky held his hands tightly. ‘Because – prepare yourself for a shock – mum married someone else just over a month after we arrived here. They were married until ... Oh! You don’t know that either! Mum ... mum died, over sixteen years ago!’

The colour seemed to drain from his tanned and weather-beaten face. He blinked several times and his brows knit together. ‘Lily re-married immediately? Just like that! But ... she couldn’t have. We weren’t divorced. And ... and ... she’s been dead for all these years.’

‘I’m so sorry, that was really thoughtless of me. I  shouldn’t have just blurted it all out like that.’

He shook his head. ‘That’s okay love. I stopped loving Lily long before she left me. It was never about finding her; only about finding you but ... it does feel strange to know that she’s dead. I can’t understand how she could have remarried so quickly though.’

Becky shook her head too. ‘I don’t understand either. Perhaps ... perhaps she used another name or something or ... no, I have no idea either. My fa ... Horace, the man mum married, wanted to adopt me and I can remember them having heated words about something. He never did adopt me – just had my name changed to his and I never knew why. Perhaps that was why. Perhaps it would have then all come out and ... maybe she was worried you’d find me and ... try to take me back.’

He shrugged. ‘I would have tried but even I knew there was little chance of me getting custody. Perhaps she was worried of going to prison for bigamy or ... or maybe she took my threat seriously. Maybe she thought I ... well, I suppose we’ll never know; she’s not here to ask.’

‘No, I suppose we won’t.’

‘I ... I’m not sure what happens now. Is Lily’s ... husband still around?’

‘Oh no. They died together, in a car crash.’

‘And Lily’s parents? Do you ever see them?’

‘Both dead.