Live From New York: An Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live (85 page)

That was a
huge
night for me. I’m a huge Beatles fan. And I had never met a Beatle. But for Lorne it was just another night, just another dinner.

ELLIOT WALD,
Writer:

Lorne’s had an enormous amount of success and he lives very well. Someone once said if he had his way, the show would be “Live from St. Bart’s.”

HOWARD SHORE,
Music Director:

Lorne and I were much more equal when the show began; we started to become less equal as the show progressed. He became much more the producer and I became just the music director. But it didn’t start out that way.

TOM DAVIS:

Lorne a snob? Sure he’s a snob. He’s a starfucker of the highest order. And all of his close friends know it too. But you just have to get past it. He has a very sweet side. He also, in my opinion, does reward the squeaky wheels — which I sort of resented personally, because I always stuck up for him when he wasn’t around. I’m very loyal. Meanwhile, the people who created problems, criticized him in the press, and stuff like that seemed to be rewarded for it, whereas someone like me, who was more protective of him, didn’t seem to get the reward. That’s the way I interpreted my own personal experience.

I always wanted to be Lorne’s friend — in the way that Dan Aykroyd is my pal and Bill Murray is my friend. It just never quite worked out. I think part of it might have been smoking dope in the office. He did then; he doesn’t now that he has kids.

I was closest to Lorne in the fourth and fifth year. It was the peak of my influence in the show. And I have great affection for Lorne. I sometimes wish that we were closer. But you know, it’s business. He’s one of my business associates. And some people become close pals, and with other people it’s just a business thing.

ROBIN WILLIAMS,
Host:

Lorne has that Hotel Algonquin thing going on, filled with all the people he knows and has made and has been around. Kind of like the grand guru of comedy. “Look at what has occurred under my reign” — Emperor Lorne. Careful now — I’ll be fucked for life. Be not afraid of him, he knows not where you live now, you’re free, boy! He made
Kids in the Hall
, what else can you say? Came from Canada, a frostback, not knowing why, a boy with a vision, a vision in comedy, and then ending up at Brillstein-Grey, and the rest is history.

He likes to schmooze. You come into a meeting with Lorne and he’ll tell you how many times he’s seen Jack Nicholson that week. It was like, “I was just out with Jack.” “Oh, you mean Onassis?” “No! That’s Jack-ee, boy.”

PENNY MARSHALL,
Guest Performer:

My mother always said she wanted her ashes spread over Broadway, because she was a tap dancing teacher in the basement of her building in the Bronx. I remember she wanted us to make sure her eyelashes were on. My brother thought there should be a party with tap dancing, which they did do but I didn’t go to.

So I was in New York. My mother was donated to science, so you have to understand she just disappeared for a year after she died. They took her. Then all of a sudden her ashes arrived, and so my brother sends me a Ziploc baggie and a candy tin, to New York, part of my mother, because she wanted to be spread over Broadway. So I called Lorne, because he had an office in the Brill Building, and I said, “Lorne, can I use your office? I gotta throw my mother over Broadway.” He says, “Excuse me?” So I explained it all to him and he said, “Sure, no problem.” Lorne’s favorite expression is “No problem.”

So I went there with my daughter and a plastic spoon and a Ziploc bag, and we were singing this song from dancing school that my mother ended every show with when she put on shows. And out the window she went. Joe Mantegna, who was in
Glengarry Glen Ross
then, said, “You should have told me, I would have put her onstage. I could have carried her ashes onstage in my pockets.” I said, “She wouldn’t have liked the play.” He said, “It’s a Pulitzer Prize play.” I said, “She wouldn’t have liked it. There was cursing. Lorne’s office is fine.”

Cut to Paris years later, and my father, who had a stroke in ’91, I think, whenever
Awakening
was happening, wouldn’t go get therapy or anything. They live for a long time, my family; they don’t do well, but they’re there. Their hearts won’t stop. So I’m in Paris, and my brother called to say my father wasn’t looking well. And I asked him, “What should I do? Should I call Lorne?” He calls him Lor-en. “Is Lor-en around? Will Lor-en be in New York?” And ultimately he didn’t die that trip, but a couple of years ago I had to call Lorne, because we get cremated in my family. I went to New York with my father in a baggie and I said, “Lorne, I need your office again.” He said, “No problem.” So I brought my father to the window in a baggie with a spoon, and out the window he went. And I’m trying to brush it off so it doesn’t blow back on Lorne’s desk, because Lorne never even met my father. And then my grandmother, who was cremated way before, in the seventies, was in a wall that looked like
Hollywood Squares
, out in the Valley, and for some reason my brother recently said, “Why is Nanny there all by herself?” So I don’t know if I’ve got to bring her to New York and call Lorne. I’m not sure yet. But my family goes out Lorne’s window.

I love Lorne and I’d do anything for him and at any given time. Not only his talent but his friendship has meant the world to me. Sometimes we’re parted for a long time, but you know there’s someone there who still understands what you’re talking about. Besides, you never know, I may need his window.

ROBERT KLEIN,
Host:

“Or walk with kings — nor lose the common touch.” I know Rudyard Kipling was a racist, but that’s still a wonderful poem. Lorne just doesn’t have that touch. His arrogance can make me smile. He’s just very taken with himself and what he’s accomplished. He’s certainly done a wonderful job — though I wish he could have done more for Belushi.

BRIAN DOYLE-MURRAY:

Lorne’s very hard to get close to. He was kind of isolated, you know. I remember being shocked when we had the Monday night meeting where you meet the host and pitch ideas. That meeting would always start with Lorne being delivered food at his desk, usually sushi. And I always thought that was really weird that he would eat while everyone else was crouching and kneeling before him without any food for themselves. I thought it was a little rude, and I thought it was some kind of a power trip.

GRANT A. TINKER,
Former NBC Chairman:

I’ve been in the Grill in Beverly Hills a couple of times, and Lorne will come in, and he will just walk right by me. Which is not the end of my world, but it has always made me wonder, why does he do that?

I have no idea what it comes from. What could it have been? If he says I showed “no interest in
Saturday Night Live
,” well, that’s true. I mean, not the show as it appeared on television. It was just never appointment viewing for me. And I had no interest in trying to fix a problem that was way down the list of problems that NBC had.

ALBERT BROOKS,
Filmmaker:

If you interviewed somebody from a movie I made and they said it was the worst set they’d ever worked on, I’d have to take that hit. Here we are thirty years later, and I can remember it all. Lorne was in charge, and he didn’t behave very well toward me.

JANEANE GAROFALO:

I waited in his office for hours. And then I decided I would refuse to be embarrassed like that again. You’ll wait a lot of hours — that’s a power thing. Then, when he realizes you’ll do it, he can’t respect you. How could he? You’ve shown him your weakness. You’ve shown him that you will wait four or five hours and that you’ll take it. There’s your first mistake.

PAUL SIMON:

For a lot of these people who come out and say nasty things, I think hey, he’s not perfect. For the most part, I don’t think Lorne ever screwed over anybody. Maybe they didn’t like something about Lorne’s personality, or maybe they didn’t like his judgment or something like that. But he never hurt anybody’s career. People from
Saturday Night Live
went on to huge careers, and Lorne didn’t have any piece of them. He didn’t own them or take them or control them.

He’s a decent guy and he’s a very powerful guy, and it’s unusual to find somebody who’s really, really powerful who is that decent. He doesn’t push people and throw his weight around. And he never did. He was nasty when he was young, but he mellowed. I think that’s why he’s a helluva boss to work for, really. You’re lucky if Lorne is in your life. For the most part, for most people, their life is improved. I know that’s the case with me.

DAMON WAYANS,
Cast Member:

I have gained an enormous respect for Lorne Michaels and his ability to see beyond his ego. He never said anything but great things about me — even though he fired me. I remember there was a kid on the show who had a drug problem, and Lorne would put him in rehab and take care of him and pay him while he was there and then bring him back to the show. He was like a father to the kid, with the kind of patience that a father would have.

ANDY BRECKMAN,
Writer:

If there’s one thing you can’t fault Lorne for, it’s the format of the show and how the show comes together, because more than any other show in the history of television, it’s withstood the test of time. I mean, that format is fuckin’ indestructible, isn’t it? If that’s all Lorne came up with in his life, I think he’d have earned a place in the television hall of fame.

JON STEWART,
Host:

Lorne doesn’t have much of a track record, so that’s why it was really hard to trust him that everything was going to be okay, but I thought, “Well, I’ll give this kid a shot and see what he can do for me.”

I think the thing that probably strikes me most is, here’s a guy who clearly doesn’t have to work this hard but still does. And you can only attribute that to either he’s insane or he’s still excited about the show, he still enjoys it, he still has passion for it, and he still wants it to be good.

LILY TARTIKOFF:

Lorne
is Saturday Night Live
. I mean, Dick is too. Dick did a fantastic job, and I don’t really know how to define who did what — no one’s ever going to know, actually. But, you know, there are things that Dick can do. I mean, you would not have Lorne Michaels run NBC Sports. But you would only have Lorne run
Saturday Night Live
and make these movies with those guys. That defines who he is. And that’s why he probably has done it for so long, because he probably can’t stop.

DANA CARVEY,
Cast Member:

Lorne had your career and your fate in his hands. He definitely was the centerpiece, because he owned the baseball field. Ultimately, he decided how much you got on-air, how much access you had to your audience. He was like the principal of the school. There was a lot of weighty energy around Lorne. And basically I was just terrified of him the first three or four years — afraid of his power. He could cut you to the quick if he wanted to. He had an acerbic wit. He also could make you feel like a million dollars. He’s of the school of very minimal compliment, so that they’re weighty when you get them. And they wouldn’t be handed out when Church Lady killed, it would be like if I played a cowboy in a scene and I had some funny exit: “I thought your exit as Cowboy Bill was breathtaking.” It would be the most obscure detail. And you’d feel like a million dollars.

He’s just a great character. There’s a great rhythm about him. He’s so fun to listen to. He’ll go on and on. He’ll come up with the weirdest way of looking at things, but we were like his children in a way. He would look down and say, “Kevin’s going to do that third-year thing where he asks, ‘Who am I in the cast?’ Danny went through the same thing. You’re going through like that Chevy first-year shall-I-stay? kind of thing.” It was great.

FRED WOLF:

Farley looked at Lorne as the ruling patriarch. He goofed off to get his attention and then, when he got his attention and was chastised for it, he would be quiet for days, then furious at him. Chris got away with a lot because he was a really likable guy. But Lorne treated him differently than he treated, say, Dennis Miller or Dana Carvey or Mike Myers.

BOB ODENKIRK,
Writer:

Chris Farley came up to me once and he was almost crying. He was in his second month at the show and he said, “I don’t get what’s going on. Every time I do a bad job, Lorne comes up to me and tells me I just did great, and every time I kill, he comes up to me and says, ‘You could work a little harder, you could’ve done that better.’” Chris’s head was spinning.

But if you want to know the greatest thing I ever saw Lorne do, it was the way he wound up treating Chris. I think Lorne was determined not to have what happened to Belushi happen to Chris on his watch. And it seemed to me that Lorne very seriously put it to Chris — every time Chris messed up, he had to go get cleaned up before he could come back on the show. And Lorne seemed to do that even to the detriment of the show, which is to say, he would take Chris off the show even on the Thursday before a show. Lorne really made Chris think about what he was doing, ’cause the most important thing to Chris in the world was performing on that show. That was the goal of his life. And Lorne knew it. And Lorne took it away from him multiple times and forced him to go to rehab. I don’t think he ever let Chris slide. And I think that was a great, great thing. An amazing thing, and something I haven’t seen anyone else do.