Lined With Silver (19 page)

“I’m looking forward to it.” She stood up and
stretched. “I’m going to crash again. I’m sorry. I’m not usually so
exhausted.”

“Your body needs to recover. Don’t worry
about it. Let’s plan on breakfast at eight. Is that okay?”

“That will be fine.” She stepped to the
connecting door, then turned and caught Zack’s eyes. They were
unreadable. What was she thinking they would say?

She shut the connecting doors and turned the
bolt. He might want their doors open, but she wasn’t ready to be
that intimate with someone who had labeled their relationship
temporary. Well, it was her who had put the temporary label on it.
He just wholeheartedly embraced it.

She stared at her phone a moment.
Should I
call Nikki?
Would it help?
She bit her lip.
How could
anything I say help?
Despite her fears, she picked up the
phone. When Nikki picked up, Sondra asked, “How are you feeling?
Are you doing okay?”

She was prepared for the expected tears. What
she didn’t expect was Nikki’s reply. “Thanks so much for calling. I
don’t think there is anyone on the planet who understands how I
feel. I know the babies are mine, but you are the one who carried
them. I don’t know why, but this loss is almost harder than when I
miscarried.”

“I’m so sorry. Why are you feeling that way?”
Sondra asked.

“I…I don’t know.” Nikki cleared her throat.
“I guess I’m wondering if this is really what the Lord wants. I
never really took the time to think and to pray. Brad and I just
wanted children to add to our eternal family. Our patriarchal
blessings talk about our children.”

What am I supposed to say? Being in court
is child’s play compared to this.
“You have four more. I will
try again.” Sondra promised.

“But what if they don’t take?” Nikki’s voice
shook. “What then? Were our blessings all lies?”

Sondra shook her head before she remembered
Nikki couldn’t see her. “The blessings are meant for this life and
the life after. I know you’ll be blessed with your children. I just
don’t know when it might happen. In the meantime, don’t give up
hope.”

“It’s just so hard.”

“I can’t imagine.”

“Well, you’re closer to being able to
understand than anyone else.” Nikki said.

“Yes, but I’m not the one whose husband has
cancer.”

“He’s getting better every day.”

“You think the new therapy is helping?”
Sondra asked.

“I know it is.” Nikki’s tone changed. In all
the grief she was experiencing, here was hope.

Sondra took a deep breath. “I’ll keep praying
for you. In the meantime, we’ll plan on another implantation in
April.”

“Are you sure you want to go through with
this?”

Sondra didn’t ever want to tell Nikki how
awful the miscarriage was. How much pain she’d been in. That would
be just one more burden to pile on her. She cleared her throat,
unable to speak for a moment. “Of course, I’ll go through this. By
the way, how is Dewk doing?”

Silence.

“Nikki? Are you there?”

Nikki’s voice took on a strangled tone. “Dewk
is dead.”

“What? What happened?” Death. There had been
too much of it. She couldn’t process it. Dewk had been a part of
her life for three years.

“I don’t know. I went to feed him yesterday
and he was lying on the snow. We took him to the vet. He’s having
an autopsy done. I didn’t want to tell you until we knew the
results.”

“P-please call me when you get them.” Sondra
hung up the phone before Nikki could reply. She stared at the
connecting door. This was a big straw. Her back wasn’t that
strong.

She tapped on the connecting door. It took a
moment for Zack to open it. He was wearing sweat pants and a
t-shirt that stretched around his muscles. Sondra collapsed into
his arms and sobbed. He pressed her to him and let her cry. “Shhhh.
It’ll be alright,” accompanied by him stroking her hair finally got
through.

She pulled back. “Dewk is dead.”

His brows pulled together in confusion. “What
happened?”

“Nikki doesn’t know. The autopsy isn’t done.
She’ll call me back when it is.” She sniffed and grabbed a tissue
from the table. “I-I’m not built for this.”

“I know. You’ve had a tough couple of
days.”

“Understatment.” She managed a smile through
her tears. “You probably think I’m nothing but a walking salty
shower.”

“You wouldn’t be normal if this didn’t affect
you.”

“I’m pretty normal then.”

He smiled and stroked her hair again. “I’d go
more for pretty amazing.”

“I don’t think I’m anything near
amazing.”

Zack’s answer was near her ear, his breath
warm on her neck. “Yes, you are.”

His warm lips moved to nibble her ear and
then moved in gentle kisses down her neck and to the hollow of her
throat.

Sondra couldn’t help a small groan. Zack took
a deep breath and gently pushed her away. “You should get some
rest. I’ll knock at eight.”

Rejected again, Sondra moved to the other
side of their connecting doors. She was numb; beyond tears.
Wearily, she rubbed her forehead and moved over to the window. She
leaned against the cold glass and closed her eyes.
Will I ever
be able to tell him how I feel?
After a few moments, she
answered herself.
After Nikki gets her babies.

She stepped away from the glass her breath
had frosted over. A quick wipe over the glass revealed a
breathtaking view. The National Mall felt festive. It was a
celebration of freedom. The Washington Monument pointed its cement
finger to the skies, as if crediting the heavens with its
construction. It was a clear reminder that the Founding Fathers
knew from where their freedoms came.

Stress manifested itself in a massive
headache. Sondra swallowed a couple of pain pills.
I don’t have
to worry about how it will impact anyone else. That’s something, I
guess.
She stared at the ceiling. Counting sheep was out of the
question. Her head throbbed. Thinking about Dewk alone in the snow
and then the twins was too much. She rolled over and cried herself
to sleep. Again.

She woke to a quiet rapping on the door. The
clock next to the bed read eight oh four. She gasped, jumped out of
bed and tied her robe as she opened the door.

“Ready?” was Zack’s unnecessary question.

“Sorry. I just woke up. Give me a
minute.”

“Breakfast is sitting on the table. I hope
you like French toast.”

“As long as it has strawberries and powdered
sugar, I’m fine.”

“Will you settle for powdered sugar and maple
syrup?” he asked.

“I’ll settle.” She grinned at him before she
shut the door. One thing was certain, if their marriage ever turned
into a real one, he already knew how bad her morning hair was. If
he could stand her anyway, he was a keeper.

The two hours to Philadelphia passed quickly.
Zack spent most of the time relaying stories of his time on his
mission and Afghanistan. Sondra appreciated his ability to find
humor in both situations. She shared her own humorous experiences
from her mission and in the courtroom. By the time they arrived,
Sondra was relaxed and pain free.

“I thought we’d stop at Independence Hall
first.” Zack said.

“Philadelphia wasn’t on my bucket list, so I
have no idea what’s here.”

A light dusting of snow blanketed the grounds
between the red brick buildings. They were dwarfed by modern
skyscrapers. Despite the surrounding buildings, Independence Hall
had a commanding presence. Sondra stared up at the white steeple.
“There just isn’t any old architecture in the west like there is
here.”

“Unless you count the ancient Indian ruins.”
Zack said.

“Yeah. Not counting those.” Sondra dropped
her gaze to Zack. “Have you seen any?”

“I’ve been to Mesa Verde a couple of times
and have seen the ones around Lake Powell.”

“Were those trips alone or with your family?”
Sondra asked.

“Before my grandpa died, we would spend
almost all our summers in Utah. We explored a lot of the
state.”

“Sounds like fun. I grew up there but I don’t
think I’ve been as many places as you have.”

“We’ll have to fix that.” Zack’s smile looked
like he meant it. A rock settled in her stomach. She wondered how
they would ever have time to explore anything in Utah in the next
few months. He was spending far too much time ensuring that their
arrangement was temporary. She didn’t have any hope for anything
beyond the birth of her sister’s children.

The tour guide waved them over, and they
joined the other tourists walking into Independence Hall. While the
guide was explaining that the building was originally built as the
Statehouse of the Province of Pennsylvania, Sondra leaned over to
whisper, “It’s hard to imagine how much time it took to create this
beautiful building.”

“The colonists were artists. There’s no doubt
about it.” Zack agreed.

Sondra ran a pink-tipped finger along one of
the elaborately decorated walls. “Every curve speaks of a labor of
love, doesn’t it?” Zack nodded while Sondra continued, “I don’t
know how you’re feeling, but the only other buildings that have
felt this way for me are the temples. I feel like I’m standing on
hallowed ground.”

“Agreed.” Zack smiled and took her hand.

They listened while the guide said, “The
Declaration of Independence was signed in this building on July 4,
1776. After the war, it was clear some kind of governing document
needed to be created. Since the Founding Fathers felt the debate on
the Constitution should be held in secret, the windows were kept
closed all during the sweltering summer.” Even though snow had
settled on the grounds, Sondra could imagine how uncomfortably hot
it had been for the men with the windows shut against a breeze. The
high ceilings would have been ineffective in drawing the hot air
when there was no fresh air being pulled in from the outside.

After the tour ended, Zack and Sondra
wandered through the open parts of the building. The curved
stairway was a silent testament to the creative engineering of the
colonists. “What a legacy these people left us.” Sondra’s voice was
hushed.

“And they were very aware that what they were
leaving was for future generations.” Zack’s tone matched hers.

“We live in such a disposable society that
it’s hard to imagine people who didn’t have that attitude.”

“The challenge for us is to preserve what we
have been given.” Zack reached for her hand.

They stopped at Christ Church. A volunteer
guide met them at the door. His white hair matched the painted
walls. He discussed some of the history of the building, then led
them to Pew 56. “George Washington and his family rented this Pew.
Benjamin Franklin’s was Pew 70. Most of the pews and the balcony
were rented with just a few spots open for servants and slaves of
worshippers. Many of the Founding Fathers worshipped at Christ
Church. Church records showed where they sat week after week to be
uplifted by the word of God.” He paused in his speech. “Do you hear
that?”

Sondra and Zack exchanged puzzled
glances.

“It’s what you don’t hear that’s amazing.
This building was built soundproof for their day to shut out the
worries of the world. Despite the noise of modern traffic, the
church continues to shut out the sounds of the city.”

The guide was quiet as they appreciated the
silence. After a couple of minutes, the guide continued his
presentation. “The bells at Christ Church tolled the entire day the
Constitution was ratified on July 4, 1788.” The guide pointed at
the wine glass pulpit. “That was built by Jon Folwell, who also
crafted the Rising Sun chair located in Independence Hall. It is
also known as George Washington’s chair since he used it during the
creation of the Constitution. Have you had a chance to see it?”

They nodded, and Zack answered. “The guide
there explained the sun represented the rise of freedom over the
land.”

The guide continued, “Mr. Folwell was a
visionary man, much like most of our Founding Fathers. Although if
you remember, Benjamin Franklin often wondered if the sun
represented a rising one or a setting one. He didn’t make up his
mind until after the Constitution was ratified.”

After the short history lesson, they walked
down the street and stopped at Benjamin Franklin’s grave. Not far
from that was the building where Thomas Jefferson had penned the
Declaration of Independence. The building was closed for
maintenance, so they walked to the Constitution Building where they
sat through a movie honoring the living constitution.

After the movie, they stopped at a display
where a criminal had written letters regarding him not having an
attorney. These simple handwritten letters had ensured all citizens
would be entitled to representation regardless of ability to pay.
As they stopped and read through the display, Zack said, “It’s
amazing that the constitution allows someone of limited means to
make such a difference to the entire country.”

“It is, and it really is a testament to the
inspiration behind the constitution.” Sondra agreed.

After a meal at another historic restaurant,
they walked back to their car. Zack drove them to a hotel
overlooking downtown Philadelphia. It was a connecting room similar
to the one they had shared in DC. When Zack repeated his room
inspection, Sondra asked, “Is this another room you visited with
your family?”

Zack nodded.

“You like the familiar, don’t you?”

“I feel close to Mom when I stay where she’s
been.”

“It sounds like you were really close.”

“We were. She was…is…a wonderful person.”

Sondra reached up to touch his cheek. “She
must have been to have raised such a wonderful son.” She dropped
her hand. Zack turned away and shut the door behind him.