Lex and Lu (30 page)

“I was seventeen, for God’s sake, Lex,” she said, exasperation clear in her voice.

“You were never seventeen, babe. You were old the day you were born.”

She didn’t want to admit that her mother had worn her down. That as the days had gone by and there’d been no word from him, that she’d begun to lose faith. She couldn’t tell him that Willa’s looks of contempt for her blind faith had chipped away at her confidence in him. She’d never been a typical teenager, but she’d felt like one during that time. She felt insecure and silly for thinking that she could have found the person she would spend her life with at six. She didn’t trust him to react in the way she needed him to react.

“Why Nina?” Lex asked suddenly.

Lu couldn’t help it, she smiled. “Her name?”

“Yeah.”

“You don’t remember?”

He looked at her quizzically. “Remember what?”

“It’s stupid, really. But I had no idea what to name her. And I was kind of shocked I had a girl. I thought for sure you’d produce a boy.” They both smiled. “Anyway, in the aftermath of her birth, I couldn’t think. I didn’t know. She was a day old and they came by to do the birth certificate. For some reason I thought of us playing—” Lu stopped. “We’ve played this before.”

Lex nodded. “A couple different versions,” he agreed with a big, smug smile and a gleam in his eye.

“I thought of us playing this game where we’d pick things out of a group that we liked best. We did Columbus’s ships for some reason and you chose the
Nina.
So in my morphine-induced high, I blurted, ‘Nina Pellitteri Knight.’ Later, Dr. J. asked me why I didn’t name her Alexandra. I couldn’t. It was too much. Even for her saving me, I couldn’t give her your name. But I could live with the middle name.”

“I like it.”

She tried not to think of him exploring her body and asking about her tattoo. She’d lied to him and she wasn’t ready to go there.

“Lex, we can amend her birth certificate if you want and change her last name.”

He looked at her with gratitude. “Thanks, but I don’t think that’s my call. Nina can decide if and when she wants to change her name. She’s had to deal with plenty and more change might not be in her best interest.”

“OK,” Lu said.

Lex looked down at his watch. “I should probably get you home,” he said, standing.

Caught a little off guard, Lu stood, feeling both disappointed and relieved. Given a reprieve, she wondered if it would take another eight months for him to ask the rest of his questions or to push for the answers she’d held back. She watched him grab his keys and his phone. Walking toward the front door, he met her there and led her out to the elevator. She wished for the stairs. As they entered, Lex pressed the button. Leaning back against the wall, Lu prayed for a quick descent.

“Lu, just so you know, we’re not done,” he said softly, the words rippling over her like a caress.

She turned to look at him. “What do you mean?” she asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

“I have a lot more questions that I need answers to. And next time I’m not letting you off so easily.”

He met her eyes then and what she saw scared her more than she’d considered. The man who stared back at her was all confidence and swagger. And Lu knew that whatever he was after, she’d have a hard time denying him.

Lex didn’t go immediately home when he dropped Lu off at her apartment. Wired from his game and his discussion with Lu, he knew attempting to sleep would prove futile. For eight months he’d done nothing. His life had been in a holding pattern. Even forcing Lu and Nina to move here hadn’t nudged him out of his grief and confusion. He’d ceased to function and thus let everything around him just happen. He hadn’t checked on his investments, hadn’t engaged in his contract negotiations. He’d barely shown up on the pitch for the first quarter of the season. He’d avoided all contact with Lu, pretending that she didn’t even live here while he attempted to get to know Nina. He’d put some effort into his relationship with Nina, but even that had been hollow because he’d had so little to give.

Then came the call from Mr. Seddon. Lex couldn’t, even now, pinpoint what had happened that day that woke him up. But his awakening pained him. When he returned home from Lu’s he cracked open a bottle of Scotch and proceeded to get drunk. All alone. He followed every question he had with a shot as if it were an elixir for the wildfire of truth as it seared through him. For the first time in his life, he wallowed in sorrow. He raged at the unfairness of his father’s death, the injustice of his daughter being kept from him, and the betrayal he felt. He wasn’t pretty in the slop of his dismantled life.

As he came up for air from the worst hangover he’d ever experienced, he looked around and saw that he was alone. It was disconcerting. And that’s when he decided that he needed to take action. He had a lot of issues that needed to be resolved. That’s what had gotten him on the plane back to Sarasota. It was foolish, really. He didn’t have the time and his body couldn’t handle the punishment of the overseas flight, but he felt like his soul couldn’t survive without it. His need to confront Jo had been overwhelming. He knew that Lu had exonerated her, but he couldn’t come to terms with his mother’s following Lu’s lead. Deep down, he knew that she was the conductor of this orchestra. When he’d found her house empty and realized that she’d been at Lu’s graduation, his soul took another knock. His whole family had been there with Lu—everyone except him. He’d been alone for so long that he’d never even noticed that he was lonely. He kind of hated his mother for allowing that to happen to him. Whether it was her fault or not, she’d pushed them all down this path.

The path that everyone had followed her down, even his dad and Pete. While he wasn’t particularly surprised that his mother had attempted to convince everyone that her plan would benefit Lex, he felt astonished that his father had agreed with her and had lied to him for so long. His father’s betrayal hurt almost as much as Pete’s and Lu’s. Mike had kept Lex centered. He’d been his biggest advocate, fan, critic. He’d carved out his own paths for Lex to follow. One of those paths had been to Caroline—another issue he needed to deal with.

Picking up his phone, Lex texted Caroline.

Need to talk contract negotiations. You up?

Caroline texted back almost immediately.

Of course.

Be there in 10.

Lex had always been the model client. He didn’t ask for special treatment, even though he received it because of who he was. Smiling, he thought that was probably why he never felt the need to ask. But he wanted to know where they were with his contract. She could meet with him at midnight for the cut she received. As he pulled into the parking lot, he felt a brief moment of regret for the consequences of all of the deceit. But he reasoned he was merely playing the hand he’d been dealt.

Strolling through Caroline’s door a few minutes later, he made himself comfortable at her dining room table. He needed formality for this conversation.

“Well, this is certainly a surprise,” she remarked as he took the bottle of water she offered. Since it didn’t warrant a response, he didn’t offer one. “You had an amazing game tonight. Hal called to say that it seems like you’re back.”

Lex tilted his head. “Where had I been?”

“Lex, you know you haven’t had the season that everyone anticipated, based on your performance last year,” she explained, as if he were five and she were explaining why he needed to go to bed at a certain time. Taking a sip of her drink, vodka tonic, she continued. “It was fabulous timing as we’d had a pretty intense conversation this afternoon.” She took another sip, eyeing Lex speculatively.

“Did the conversation include Malcolm Helms?” Lex inquired innocently.

Caroline almost spit out the sip she had taken.

Lex loved that she’d underestimated him. He looked at her, eyebrow raised, his face asking the question again. She really should know better, he thought.

“Lex, it’s no secret that Hal’s been disappointed with your performance. The conversation this afternoon was another in a string of conversations regarding everything you’ve been through over the last couple of months.”

“So whose idea was it for me to talk to someone?” Lex saw Caroline reach into her bag of tricks and pull out the mask of innocence.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m calling bullshit, Caroline. What I want to know is why you didn’t tell me that Hal was reaching out to people to get me to talk to a therapist.” Lex saw her accept that he was calling her out.

“What’s the big deal, Lex? They send players to psychologists all the time.”

“Perhaps. But they don’t have a parent-teacher conference without the student present. What the fuck, Caroline? If you all were discussing my well-being, I’m enough of an adult that I should have been there. When have you ever gone into a contract negotiation without me present? Why would this be any different?”

Backpedaling, she tried to cover her ass. “That’s not how it started out, Lex. Really. He’d mentioned a couple of times and I’ve blown it off, saying that you just need time. I don’t think that he is trying to be an ass. He’s concerned about you.”

“Concerned. If he was concerned, he would have come to me. He’s pissed I’m not scoring goals. He could give a shit that my father died. Which is his job. I don’t hold him responsible for doing what he’s paid to do. What I’m concerned about is that you’re not doing what you’re supposed to do, what I pay you to do.”

For the first time, Lex saw Caroline contrite.

“You’re right,” she conceded. Which didn’t surprise Lex. He paid her a lot of money to agree with him when he needed her to.

Lex sat back in his chair, looking at Caroline. She was a beautiful woman and she was good at her job. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and even scrubbed free of make-up, she looked good. But he saw a hint of the fear he wanted her to feel shimmering in the cracks of her smile.

“How long did you know about Nina?” he asked. He continued to watch her, reading every emotion she tried to hide behind her work mask.

“Soon after I signed you,” she answered, not giving any more information than he’d asked, her lawyer instincts kicking in.

Nodding his head, acknowledging her intelligence, he continued. “Did you sign something with my father saying you wouldn’t tell me?”

“No.”

“Did he ask you not to tell me?”

Here she paused. “No. It was implied.”

“Implied?” he asked, skeptical.

“Yes.”

“So you could have told me at any time?”

“Yes.”

“But you chose to keep my father’s secret.”

“Yes.”

“What prompted you to tell me at the funeral?” This had been bothering him. She could have told him at any time. She could have told him when they found out that Mike had died. She could have taken him aside at any point and told him. But she didn’t. So, why did she tell him when she did?

“I just thought you should know.”

Again, Lex nodded his head, as if he understood what she was saying and agreed with her. He stood then and made his way around the table, until he was standing behind her.

Leaning down, he placed his hands on either side of her, resting on the arm rests and brought his head down next to hers. “I’m just confused about the timing. Because from what I understand, you told Lu that she could tell me and I think you even gave her a deadline. Perhaps
deadline
isn’t the right word. I think
time line
would be more appropriate.” He felt her tense in the chair. “So if you gave her a heads-up, why did you think the news would be better coming from you?”

He stood at that point and moved to lean on the wall across from her. He waited even though he didn’t expect her to answer.

“Here’s the way I’ve worked it out. You saw me and Lu together and you thought that wouldn’t necessarily be good for my career. So you put another obstacle in our way. How am I doing?”

Caroline stayed quiet and Lex had to admit a grudging respect for her. No self-implication on that front.

“Since you don’t have a whole lot to add, let me tell you where I am. I don’t trust you anymore. And I can’t have someone handling me if I can’t trust them. So, you’re fired.” She flinched almost imperceptibly, but he was watching her so close that he could see the slight movement. “You don’t have to worry. I’ll make sure that my publicist handles the split amicably. I won’t trash-talk—as you know. But I have to say, when I sign my new contract, I imagine it will hurt a bit. You were going to make a lot of money. I’ll see myself out.”

Lex walked to his car, a little lighter. The Caroline thing hadn’t really been an issue until he’d talked to Willa. She told him what had happened—why he’d found out about Nina from Caroline instead of Lu. He’d have fired her just for that, but it was nice to have the other issue as part of the equation too. He didn’t appreciate his agent acting on his behalf without his knowledge. Having that on the record books would make other agents hesitant to think they could get away with it.

He glanced at the clock on the dashboard. It was almost one o’clock in the morning, but that didn’t stop him from making his next move. Putting his earplugs in, he picked up his phone and found the number of the person he needed to talk to.

He answered on the second ring.

“I didn’t think I’d hear from you for a while.”

“Yeah, that was a dick move,” Lex said.

There was a sigh at the other end. “I was worried about you.”

“Which is why I’m letting you get away with it.”

“What’s up, Lex?” Malcolm asked.

“I need a new agent. Can you help me out?”

“I’ll have the names to you in the morning.”

“Thanks,” Lex said as he disconnected.

“Are you sure you have everything you need?” Lu asked. Nina took after Willa in her minimalist approach to clothing. Not that any of them could qualify as fashion plates but, Lu definitely had them beat when it came to packing.

“Yes. Dad said they’ll have a washer and dryer wherever we stay, so we can do laundry.”