Letters to Katie (13 page)

He bent over, awkwardly stirring the onions while breathing in the aroma. They were
nearly clear, tinged with a buttery flavor and a spice he didn’t recognize. When it
came to seasoning a meal, if it wasn’t salt and pepper, he had no idea what else to
use.

The scent comingled with the yeasty bread baking in the oven. Snapped green beans
sat in the other pot on the stove, covered with water and a square pat of slowly melting
butter. On the counter next to the stove was a cutting board with a block of Swiss
cheese ready to be sliced, a jar of pickled beets on the other side. If the Wagners
weren’t impressed with this meal, there was something wrong with them.

He gave the onions another stir, terrified he’d scorch them and ruin her hard work.
When she returned, she took the spoon from him, their fingers brushing and sending
a tingling sensation through him. Now he understood why Sawyer was so pie-eyed every
time he was around Laura.

“
Geh
into the living room and sit down. I’ll take it from here.”

“You sure you don’t need help with anything else?”

“I’m the cook, remember?” She smiled again and shooed him away. “
Geh
. Unwind. Supper will be ready by the time company gets here.”

He nodded and went into the living room. There was something different about it, but
he couldn’t put his finger on it—other than it was clean for once. He sat down on
the couch and crossed his arms, sinking deep into the
cushions. This was turning out better than he’d hoped. He and Katie made a good team.
She’d taken on his request and handled it with an almost professional ease that impressed
him.

He thought about all the years he’d avoided her, afraid of giving her the wrong impression,
especially when they were kids. Back then if he even glanced at her, she seemed to
take it as a declaration of love.

Things were different now. If only she knew how he really felt. How being around her
seemed so . . . right. He smiled and closed his eyes, thinking about Katie doing her
magic in the kitchen. A quick nap, and he’d ask her if she needed help again.

Just a minute or two . . .

“Johnny.”

Katie’s voice sounded far away. And very sweet. It had almost a lyrical quality to
it, like a songbird greeting the rising sun. Sun? It couldn’t be morning yet.

“Johnny.”

He felt a push on his shoulder.

“Company’s here. They’re pulling into the driveway.”

His eyelids flew open. The Wagners. He shot up from the couch, ran his hand through
his hair. “Do I look all right?” He stared at her; she was gazing at him with an odd
expression but wasn’t saying anything. “Kati—Katherine?”

“You look
perfekt
.”

“
Gut
. Have to make the right impression.” He pulled back the curtains and peeked out the
window. Wagner was heaving himself out of the car. He walked over to the other side,
presumably to open the door for his wife.

“Everything’s ready,” Katie said. “Just like I promised.”

“That’s great,” he said absently. Now that the Wagners were here, his nerves had returned.
He followed her into the kitchen. “I appreciate everything you’ve done.”

She nodded, still smiling. And not moving.

“I promise I’ll pay you back.”

“You don’t have to pay me back anything.” She grinned wider. “I was happy to do it.
I’m looking forward to meeting your company.”

“What?” Then he looked past her shoulder at the table. Four places were set instead
of three.
Oh nee
.

He hadn’t thought that she would stay. Any other time he would want her to. But not
tonight. How could he explain their relationship—non-relationship—to the Wagners?
He was worried enough about tripping over his own tongue when he talked to them. It
would be impossible to describe her role in his life. He couldn’t even explain it
to himself.

He guided Katie toward the back door when he heard a knock at the front.

“Do you want me to get that?” she asked.

Without thinking, he put his hand on the back of her small waist. A knot formed in
his stomach. “I’m sorry. You have to
geh
.”

Her smile faded. “What?”

“This meeting is really, really important to me. I don’t want to give the wrong impression.”

Her blue eyes grew round. “Oh.” She looked at the table. Another knock sounded at
the door. “I’ll just put my plate away then,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it.” Another, more impatient knock reverberated
from the front door. “I just need you to
geh
.”

She looked at him and straightened her back, but she couldn’t hide the hurt that seeped
into her eyes. She’d never been any good at hiding her feelings. He’d known that for
years. But this time was different. This time he’d hurt her more deeply than he ever
had before, and it stabbed at his heart. “Katherine—”

He flinched as the door slammed shut behind her. He looked out the small window and
saw her head for the barn. To hitch up her own buggy. He hadn’t done it for her because
he’d been asleep. Relaxing, while she worked to help him. And this was how he repaid
her.

“Anyone home?”

The sound of a high-pitched woman’s voice reached him from the living room. Apparently
the Wagners had no compunction about letting themselves into his house. He watched
for a second more as Katherine disappeared into the barn. He closed his eyes, silently
asking for her forgiveness, knowing it was pointless.

“Coming,” he called.

He composed himself and turned around. Only then did he get a good look at the table.
And only then did he notice the bouquet of bright yellow daffodils in a small vase
in the center among the gleaming, plain white dishes.

Katherine blinked back tears. When would she wise up? She trudged to the barn to get
her horse, her legs like lead. When she entered the barn, she saw her horse as happy
as could be in the comfy stall, a small portion of oats left in the feed trough. Johnny
had taken good care of the animal, as he said he would. He hadn’t promised her anything
else. Whatever ideas she’d had about the two of them were of her own making. As always.

The lump in her throat tightened to a stranglehold as she led her horse back to her
buggy and hitched him up. She saw the fancy white car in the driveway. She didn’t
know a make from a model, but she could see it was expensive, the exterior polished
to a gleaming shine. Now she could see why Johnny needed her help. Maybe his guests
would notice the new curtains she’d hung in the living room and kitchen, and the way
the wood floor, which had been coated and dull, now shone with homey warmth.

Johnny sure hadn’t.

Bile rose into her throat as she headed home. This was her fault, not his. He’d asked
for her to help him, not to jump to conclusions. What a fool she was. All the time
she was preparing his favorite meal, she had been thinking about the evening—imagining
herself eating supper with Johnny at his table with his friends, enjoying the meal
and the conversation.

Then maybe after his company left, he would have asked her to stay awhile. He would
have noticed the extra touches she’d made to impress his guests. Not only the curtains,
but fresh flowers, new kitchen linens, a little extra polish on the table. He would
have thanked her. Smiled at her. Maybe even—

Stop it!
She smacked the reins on Chester’s back harder than she intended. He whinnied. “Sorry,”
she said, upset that she took her frustration out on this gentle horse. Couldn’t she
do anything right?

By the time she got home and put Chester and the buggy up, supper was over and the
kitchen was already clean. Her parents and Bekah weren’t around, and no one had left
her a covered plate, as her mother sometimes did when Katherine had to work late at
the restaurant. It didn’t matter. She was too tired and upset to eat. She went upstairs,
hoping to avoid the rest of her family.

Johnny had been right to send her home. They weren’t married. They weren’t even dating.
She had no business being there other than to fulfill the promise she gave him. Once
she’d done that, she should have left on her own. She shouldn’t have had to be dismissed.

She flopped down across the bed. Tears slipped down her cheeks, no matter how hard
she tried to keep them at bay.

Today had started with such promise.

And ended, once again, with heartbreak.

C
HAPTER
10

“Are you stopping by to see Laura tonight?”

Sawyer looked at his father as he drove the buggy home from the shop. Business had
been slow that day, and his uncle Tobias said he would handle any orders that came
in. “I planned to. She’s leaving for Tennessee in the morning.”

“Finally decided to talk to her parents, then?”

“She’s been talking to them.” Sawyer’s words took on a defensive tone. “They’ve exchanged
letters.”

“I see.” Lukas tapped the reins against the horse’s flanks. “Like you and Cora have
been talking on the phone.”

“Yeah. Something like that.” Sawyer turned and looked out of the buggy at the houses
passing by, a mix of plain Amish and fancier Yankee homes.

“I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

“You didn’t.”

“Could have fooled me.”

Sawyer crossed his arms. He felt guilty enough talking about his grandmother with
Laura; he didn’t need the same nudge from Lukas.
At least she had agreed to go see her parents. But his relationship with his grandmother
was more complicated. He had only known her for a short while, but he knew what she
stood for. What she wanted from him. And he wasn’t interested.

But what Laura had said to him over a week ago, and what his father now left unsaid,
made Sawyer know that he couldn’t put off going to New York much longer. “I’ll wait
until Laura gets back from Tennessee.”

“For what?”

“To see Cora.”

“When’s Laura coming back?”

A car passed by them, slowly making its way around the buggy. Now that he used a buggy
for transportation, Sawyer appreciated the courteous drivers. Not everyone was. “Not
sure. A couple of weeks, maybe. I’ll find out tonight.”