Leif (Existence) (2 page)

             
“I’m try
ing. I approached her today. I’
m going to do my best. I just need more time.” Tomorrow I needed a
new
plan. I had to make her see there was more to me than a popular football player. Stupidly
,
I’d thought making myself wanted among
he
r peers
would win her heart. I should’
ve known better. Pagan wasn’t shallow.

             
Father was gone
,
leaving me standing in the darkness alone once more. He was no help.  Needing her love wasn’t something he would ever understand. My parent’s relationship had absolutely nothing to do with love. Why was I so different from them?

             
Lifting my eyes back to the direction of Pagan’s house I waited for him to leave. I would not let Death leave with her soul. I had to do something to protect her without alerting him.
But what?

             
                                                      ~*~

She was waiting on me outside the door to the only class we shared, Chemistry. I could feel her anxiety as she stood there. This was a good sign. At least she was coming to me because I was still unsure how to approach her again.

             
Stepping out into the hallway
,
my joy at having her waiting to speak with me was diminished by the fact Death stood somewhere nearby. I couldn’t see him but I could feel his icy cold presence.

             
“Um, Leif, could I talk to you a minute?”
she asked. As much as I wanted to make this easy on her I knew I couldn’t. Death knew I wasn’t human. I didn’t want to alert him to my true intentions. I leaned against the wall and crossed my arms. She nibbled her bottom lip nervously. Death moved closer to us and I fought back the cringe that crawled over me at his nearness.

“About yesterday, I’m sorry I was so rude about helping you. I did sign up to tutor for extra credit and I shouldn’t have treated you the way I did
,” she paused and stared up at me with an anxious expression. I wanted to ease her mind but I couldn’t. Not here. Not with
him
watching and listening.
“If you still want m
e to tutor you, I’d be happy to.” She finished and I wasn’t sure what the correct response was
to this
.

I would do whatever she allowed just to be close to her. But
Dankmar
was near. I kept the bored expression on my face a
nd pretended to be thinking her
offer over. When it looked like she might bolt
,
I replied,
“Are you offering because of Mr.
Yorkley
? Did he make you do this?”

The frown on her face was so damn cute. One day soon I’d be able to reach out and smooth it away with my fingertips… or lips.
“I acted the way I did because I just don’t like you very much. I was wrong and, honestly, I don’t even know you well enough to form an opinion of you. I’m offering to
help because you need it. That’s what I signed up for and that’s why I’m here now.”

She admitted she did
n
’t like me. Even though that should worry me
,
it didn’t. The simple admission made me smile.
“You don’t like me, huh?”

She straightened up attempting to stand taller and gave me a small shake of her head. I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Well, we might have
to work on changing your mind.
I’ll see you later.”
I replied then turned and walked away. Leaving her alone
with
Dankmar
so close by
bothered me. But he di
dn’t need to know I sensed him just like he didn’t need to know
,
I intended to take Pagan’s soul before he could. After all,
her soul
was mine.

2.
Death was talking to her
- Leif

“
Dat’s
good son. Da
gurl
is right
dare
witin
yor
reach.
Don worry bout de Death.
De
gurl’s
soul don mean
notin
to him.” Father stepped out in front of me as I started up Pagan’s sidewalk. His top hat was cocked back on his head
,
which meant he’d been drinking heavily and was in a very good mood.

“Thanks but I’m already late. I don’t want to get on her bad side tonight. She isn’t a fan of me yet.” But she would be. I was going to make sure of it.

“
Jes
get de
gurl
. You don ‘
ave
time for
anytin
else.
Dankmar
is close
on her heels.” With one final
ring of smoke from his lips he disappeared. He was right of course. I had to find a way into Pagan’s heart and fast.

Pagan opened the door almost immediately. The look on her face wasn’t promising. Crap. I’d pissed her off again. Flashing her my most sincere smile I began apologizing.  “I’m really sorry about this. I feel bad
you
’re having
to work around my schedule. I know seven is late and, well, I’m sorry.”

             
Her anger vanished and the easy smile I’d hoped to see appeared on her face. She was beautiful.

“That’s okay. Go ahead and sit at the table and I’ll get us something to drink. Do you like root beer?”
She asked turning and walking away from me. I followed her inside. I wasn’t sure I’d ever had a root
beer but that
admission
would sound odd.

“That’s great, thanks.”
I replied.

             
Her living room wasn’t new to me. I’d been here so many times before. Watching over her. Consoling her. Now, she was helping me. This time she would remember my being here. Just knowing
that
what we had would
finally
be real to her was exciting.

             
When she walked back into the room I decided to ease the nervous tension
surrounding us
. This should be easy. 
“I brought the schedule for class and what all is expected in this course. I have one week before the first speech is due and it needs to be on something I feel strongly about.”

She sat the soda down in front of me.
“So, we need to decide what you’re passionate about.”

I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. Passionate. That was a loaded word. One I knew a lot about.

“What?”
she asked frowning.

“What I’m passionate about?”

I asked still grinning.

She rolled her eyes,
“You know, something you feel strongly
about. Like your purpose or platform.”

There was only one thing I felt passionate about but it wasn’t time I admit that just yet.
“Passionate, I like that. Let’s think of something I’m passionate about.”
             

The prissy look on her face as she puckered her lips and grabbed the notebook was just too damn cute. “Got any ideas?” she asked in a tone that said she already knew I was going to say something superficial and she
w
as prepared to write it down.

I decided I’d throw her little
know-it-
all
ideas
for a loop.
“The importance of adoption.”

She began to write it down and paused. It was all I could do to keep from laughing out loud. I’d just surprised the hell out of her.

“Okay,”
she replied studying me closely. She wanted an explanation. Good thing I had one.

“I was adopted after living in foster homes for five years. I’d given up hope that I would get a family by the time I turned nine because most people want babies. I was given a chance most nine year old foster kids only dream of.”
             

Her eyes widened in shock,
“Oh, wow, I had no idea. I, uh, can see why this would be an important topic for you.”

The expression on her face switched from surprise, to confusion then to what looked liked sadness. I hadn’t meant to make her sad. I’d just wanted to redeem myself somehow. She thought so little of me already.

“You did hear the part where I got adopted, right?”
I asked
softly with an easy smile in hopes of cheering her up.
“You look so distraught. I thought maybe you missed the happy ending.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just, well, I wasn’t expecting that. You kind of surprised me.”


I leaned back in my chair.
“It sure seems to me that you’ve got a lot of ideas where
I’m concerned. You sure have put a lot of thought into someone you don’t like very much.”
The instant blush on her cheeks told me that I’d made some progress. If I could show her I wasn’t the guy she thought I was then I had hope that she’d love me back someday. Preferably soon.
“Who knows Pagan, you may like me before this is over.”

           
                                                
  
~*~

She was warming up to me. From the way her eyes followed me down the hall and studied me from across the cafeteria, I knew her feelings toward me were changing. Our night
s spent
studying
were
now easy. We talked and laughed with none of the awkwardness that I’d
been faced
with in the beginning. She wasn’t nervous around me anymore. My only problem was
the fact
Death was still watching her.

I could feel her gaze on me as she walked down the hallway. She wanted me to turn and look at her. The attraction was like a tingling sensation running through my body. But I couldn’t. Death was near her. He was the cold barrier keeping me from saying anything to her or even meeting her gaze. He’d see me and study me too closely. I didn’t want him to
realize
the soulless being that he was obviously dismissing was more than he assumed. I wasn’t one of
H
ell
’
s many servants. I was the Prince of V
oodoo.
Dankmar
didn’t need
to realize that too soon. It would
mess up everything.

He spoke … and Pagan heard him. What? Could she see Death too? I knew my claim on her soul allowed her to see lost souls but could it also let her see Death as well? Listening to the guys around me talking about Friday night’s game was impossible. I needed to hear what he was saying. Why was
Dankmar
talking to a soul? What could he possibly have to say to her? He was here to take her, or at least try to. This was not normal. I needed to speak to my father. He would understand this.

I tuned out everyone around me but Pagan. I couldn’t see
Dankmar
. I could only feel him. I also couldn’t hear him. But she could. She was speaking to him. How?

             
“I’m not bothered,” she hissed through her teeth as she opened her locker door. What did that mean? Dammit I needed to hear what he was saying too.

             
Slowly she turned her head to look at him. He must be beside her. I still could only see her. But she was studying him closely. Was
her time drawing near
and he was letting her know? Didn’t he normally just do that with children? Why would he be giving her a he
ads-
up?

“Staring at them will only make things worse.
Ghede
would
advise against making a scene,” Kendra’s icy
tone reminded me to speak with F
ather again about getting rid of her. She wasn’t helping things. She’d grown attached to me. That had never been the plan.

“This isn’t your business, Kendra,” I reminded her in a
hard
voice. If she didn’t step out of my way I would remove her myself.

“I wonder if he’
s as sexy as everyone says,” she purred.

“Who says
Dankmar
is sexy?” An alarm went off in my head. Was Death attractive?

“Everyone who has seen him. I’ve heard he has the bluest eyes ever created and thick black hair that is slightly too long. His smile is always cocky and his body is built for—“

“Okay that’s enough. I don’t want to hear anymore of y
our bullshit. He’
s Death. He can’t be sexy.” That made no sense. I watched as Pagan’s expression turned soft. What was he saying to her? Was she attracted to him?

“It makes perfect sense
,
my prin
ce. To ease a soul’s fear at it
s time of death wouldn’t it be easier if the one taking their soul was easy on the eyes?”

“For a girl maybe,” I replied as Pagan turned and walked away from her locker. Death was gone. I let out a sigh of relief.

“Men too. Beauty would ease their fears as well. Something dark and
s
inister
would
be terrifying,” she went on explaining. “I’ve heard of others who have seen him and some who have touched him or been touched by him. It’s like nothing they’ve ever experienced. What I’d give to have him crawl between—“