Chapter Twenty-One
I was nervous walking into school on Monday. How could I not be? I hadn’t spoken to Jesse since the incident…the new incident, my second incident with Jesse in the span of a week. I met up with Alex before first period for a few minutes, but then the warning bell rang too soon and I had to head to Constitution to face Jesse.
I was just
about to walk into class when Adrienne brushed past me and I heard her mumble “Skank,” under her breath as she turned into class. The Bostonian in me wanted to chase her down and punch her in the face, but then I calmed myself. I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of knowing she got to me. Instead, I took a deep breath and walked into the room, unsure if Jesse would already be inside. I got my answer quickly as I looked up and saw him sitting at his desk, staring intently at something. He looked up briefly as I walked past him to my seat, but that was the extent of our communication and when the bell rang an hour later, I gathered my stuff and headed out to my next class before we had a chance to talk.
I’d dodged the dreaded conversation, for now anyway. I spent the rest of the morning trying to figure out how I could continue to avoid it, but when it was time for lunch, I knew it would be more difficult. In first hour, I’d been able to pretend I was engrossed in my work, but at lunch, I would have no such excuse. I considered telling Alex we could sit with his friends during the entire lunch period, but I realized that would be way too obvious. My friends would definitely pick up that something was wrong if I avoided them.
Having taken my time getting to the cafeteria, my friends, including Jesse, were already at the table eating their lunches. Alex hadn’t shown up yet though. I doubted he’d ever sit with them without me being there. While they were all cordial to each other, there was an unspoken mutual understanding that I was the only reason he sat there.
I knew Alex would show up soon enough though and I walked to my usual spot across from Jesse. Mandy was sorting her Skittles again and the others were already
immersed in conversation.
As I sat down, Jesse looked up at me with nervous gray eyes. I smiled quickly at him, doing my best to make it appear that everything was fine and that we had not kissed on Friday night.
“Riley,” he said quietly, staring up at me. “Can we talk?”
Before I could say any
thing though, Alex slid into the seat beside me.
“Hey
, gorgeous,” he said leaning in and kissing me on the cheek.
I looked over and smiled at him and out of the corner of my
eye, I could’ve sworn I saw Jesse watching us.
“Hey
, Jess,” Alex called across the table. “How’d my girl do on Friday?”
“Friday?”
I asked, taking a nervous gulp of my Coke. “What about Friday?”
“I think he’s talking about the shooting range,” Jesse said as he looked at me knowingly, wordlessly acknowledging the secret only we knew about.
“Yeah, I was,” Alex said, looking over at me. “How’d she do?”
“She was great.”
“Oh yeah?” Alex asked.
“You seem surprised,” I said
, elbowing him.
“No. I’m not surprised. I can picture you with a gun…
kinda like Charlie’s Angels,” Alex laughed.
“Yeah, I think Riley’s pretty dangerous. I wouldn’t piss her off
, Alex. She might blow your head off,” Jesse smirked.
“I’d better be careful then,” Alex said
, reaching down and resting his hand on my thigh.
“S
o, Alex,” Mandy said, piping in. “Did Riley show you her homecoming dress?”
“No, she didn’t,” he said
, looking at me again.
“You didn’t show him
, Riley?” Mandy gasped. “Why didn’t you show him?”
“I don’t know,” I sighed and glared at Mandy. She could
be really annoying sometimes.
“Yes, why didn’t you show me
, Riley?” Alex said with a playful grin.
“I wanted it to be a surprise,” I lied. The truth was
, I’d just never gotten around to it. We’d been kind of busy Saturday night, after all.
“Well, I want to see it. I’ve
gotta make sure we match, don’t I?”
“It’s red,” I said and then w
ent back to eating my lunch.
“That’s all I get?” he grinned.
“Yes. That’s all you get.”
“Well, you’re gonna love it. It’s hot,” Mandy assured us all excitedly. “We’re all gonna look hot, in fact.”
“I’m not holding my breath. No dress is gonna help you guys,” Brandon laughed, but the table grew quiet and everyone, including Jesse and Alex stared over at Brandon. He was still laughing, but then when he realized no one else was, his laughter faded.
“Not cool, Brandon,” Jes
se said sternly to his friend.
“I was just kidding,” Brandon
said. “You know I was kidding.”
“Just knock it off. You can be such an as
s sometimes,” Jesse continued.
“Hey, I’m sorry,” Brandon said
, staring back at Jesse.
“You don’t need to apologize to me
, dumbass,” Jesse said. “You need to apologize to Riley, Holly, Laura, and Mandy.”
The table was quiet again. Jesse looked genuinely upset at Brandon, who seemed to be looking around the table at us like an antelope in a lion’s den.
“Hey, I’m sorry. Seriously. I know you’re all gonna look great,” he said, taking the time to look us each in the eye. We all wordlessly accepted his apology and then he got up and left. Even Brandon knew he’d crossed the line this time and knew the only thing he could do was leave.
“Thanks
, Jesse,” Holly said.
“Yeah, sure,” he said
, shaking his head. “He’s such an idiot sometimes. I’m surprised one of you hasn’t smacked him by now.”
“
Someone should,” Mandy agreed.
“I’ll be the first,” Holly volunteered. “Remind me again why I agreed to go to homecoming with him?”
“Because we’re gonna have a fabulous time and you didn’t wanna miss it,” Mandy said, returning to her usual bubbly self.
“It’d better be amazing
,” Holly said rolling her eyes.
“Oh, it
will be,” Mandy assured her.
****
The day was almost over and I’d managed to avoid Jesse. I only had one more class to go, but unfortunately he was in that class. On the plus side though, Alex was in that class too and I knew Jesse wouldn’t approach me in front of my boyfriend. Fifty-five more minutes to go and I’d be safe…for now anyway. I hoped if I made it through today, Jesse and I would come to a silent agreement that we would never talk about it again and things wouldn’t get any more awkward between us than they already were.
When I stepped into the classroom, Mrs. Davenport was writing notes on the board and then I looked over to Jesse’s seat and sure enough he was sitting there, staring at me. I then turned my gaze to find my safety net, Alex, whose seat was noticeably vacant.
Whatever
, I said to myself, brushing a piece of hair behind my ear and walking to my desk while I deliberately kept my eyes straight ahead and away from Jesse. He obviously didn’t get the hint though, because the second I sat down, he turned to face me.
“Riley. We need to talk,” h
e whispered insistently.
“No, we don’t. Everything’s fine. Let’s just drop
it,” I whispered back sternly.
“Don’t be like this.
We can’t ignore what happened.”
“
Nothing
happened,” I said finally, looking up at him. His head was cocked to the side slightly and he opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but then he closed it and turned around to face the chalkboard.
Thankfully, Alex walked in a moment later. He gently touched my shoulder as he passed me and then sat down in his seat. Again…I’d avoided the conversation. Score one point for me.
****
The bell rang. The day was over. I was safe. I just needed to get to my locker, grab my stuff and head home to a fun-filled evening of homework a
nd a rousing game of dominoes I’d promised my grandma I’d play with her after dinner.
My feeling of relief was short lived though as Alex and I
were walking to my locker and Jesse came up to us. This was definitely a move I hadn’t anticipated.
“Riley, I
need
to talk to you,” Jesse said, breaking into our conversation.
“I’ve
gotta get home, Jesse,” I told him as I tried to keep walking, but he put his hand on my arm and I stopped.
“Just
gimme a minute,” he asserted.
“Jesse,” I sighed.
“It’s important.” His eyes were insistent and I knew he wasn’t going to go away easily.
“
Dude. What’s your problem? She doesn’t wanna talk to you,” Alex said forcefully.
“I’m not talking to you
, Alex,” Jesse said, glaring over to him. “It’s about our project. I’ll be quick.” I knew now why he’d confronted me in front of Alex. He knew I’d have to talk to him so Alex wouldn’t get suspicious.
“Fine,” I relented. “You
wanna wait for me, Alex?”
“Yeah.
I’ll meet you at your car,” he said leaning over, giving me a quick kiss and then eyeing Jesse skeptically before walking away.
Jesse waited until Alex was out of sight and then took my arm and led me to a small alcove under the staircase that was surprisingly secluded.
“What are you
doing
?” I asked through gritted teeth while shaking my arm from his grasp.
“We’re t
alking about this.”
“I told you, there’s
nothing
to talk about.”
“Yes, there is and we have to talk about it. We can’t just go on pretending
like it never happened.”
“No, we don’t have to talk about it and yes, we can go on pretending like it never happened. No one knows about this and that’s how it’s
gonna stay. I can’t risk Alex finding out. You’re going to ruin everything for me,” I said harshly and he was silent.
“I don’t wa
nt to ruin anything for you. But, I don’t want you to continue ignoring me. I just wanted to apologize for kissing you,” he said softly. I hadn’t expected an apology. I didn’t quite know what I’d expected, but it wasn’t an apology and I didn’t want him to apologize. “I…I don’t know what came over me. Maybe it was just the moment or something, but I didn’t mean to piss you off. I never meant for that to happen. I know you’re with Alex and that’s totally cool, but we’re friends and I don’t want my stupidity to come between that. It was just…just a stupid thing I did and I’m sorry.”
“Yeah. You’re right. It was just some stupid thing,” I said, shaking my head, telling myself he was right. “
Very
stupid.”
“That’s all I wanted to say. I shouldn’t have
kissed you and I’m sorry I did, but please, stop ignoring me.”
As he stood looking at me, he
seemed sad and nervous and my heart instantly softened. Deep down I knew it wasn’t completely his fault. We’d shared a moment and when I thought about it, I knew it wasn’t just him who had caused the kiss.
“I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you. I just didn’t kno
w what to say,” I said finally.
“I don’t blame you. After Friday night, you probably thought I was going to profess my undying love for you or something,” he smiled.
“You’re not going to?” I asked with a laugh.
“Nah, not toda
y,” he joked before continuing. “I just like hanging out with you and I don’t want that to stop just because of some ridiculous move on my part.”
“I feel the same
way,” I said interrupting him. “You’re my closest friend here, I mean besides Alex, and I’d hate if we couldn’t be friends.”
“Me
too.”
We were quiet again and then he smiled over to me and
I felt myself relax a little.
“So, can we just put this past us? I mean, I know it’s a lot to ask, but can we at least try?” he asked.
“Yeah. It’s forgotten,” I said, although I knew I couldn’t really forget.
“Okay…good,” he said
, breathing a visible sigh of relief. “So…I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then?” he asked and I nodded. “You’d better get back to Alex before he starts to worry.”
“Yeah, I should,” I said
, turning to walk away, but then stopped to look at him again. “But, you know…we do need to finish our project. It’s due next week.”
“We can get together after school sometime this week and I promise I won’t kiss you this time.”