Which made him wonder all the more what the guy was doing here.
Dooley finished off his beer and watched as Morgan gave both the new guy and Senior a kiss on the cheek before she was pulled off to talk with a new group.
The guy leaned over to hear something Senior was saying, then Senior pointed at their table. Dooley straightened as the guy turned the wheelchair and started pushing it in their direction.
It looked like he was going to figure the guy out on his own. Even better.
Morgan felt Doug come up behind her. She supposed technically it could have been anyone, but she knew it was him even before his hot whisper in her ear confirmed it.
“Your office. Now.”
He grasped her upper arms, not letting her turn from where his chest pressed into her shoulder blades.
She smiled at the Mayor’s wife and her friend. “Excuse me, ladies. I need to check on something.”
In truth, he’d saved her from having to commit one way or the other to participating in their upcoming fundraiser for the cancer center. A worthy cause, of course, but she might not be here and that was not how she wanted the Mayor to find out about her possible relocation.
Without waiting for words from the two women, Doug turned her toward her office, one arm still firmly in hand.
“Is everything—”
“Not yet.”
At his terse answer, she looked up to see his teeth were firmly gritted.
“What’s wrong?”
“Not. Yet.”
His answer was more forceful now and she felt her heart rate pick up. She’d thought either he’d noticed she needed rescuing or he’d just missed her. She loved that she could have him here with her but that he was capable of entertaining himself. She also loved knowing he preferred not to go too long without her.
As he pushed her through her office doorway and closed the door behind him just short of a slam, she decided this wasn’t about rescuing or missing her. In fact, she wondered if she was going to need rescuing from
him
when he turned his scowl on her and leaned back against the door, obviously cutting off the only way out.
Feeling defensive and not knowing why, she folded her arms and watched him.
“God damn it, Morgan,” he finally said.
She licked her lips and took a deep breath. He was clearly pissed.
“You hired Jay to stay with my dad, didn’t you?”
Oh. Crap.
“Um, I met with Jay about the possibility.”
“Don’t lie to me,” he snapped. “Jay told my dad he’s excited about having the chance to work with him. What did you do?”
Her eyes widened. She’d never seen Doug like this. He was laid back. Almost too much so. He was passionate, for sure, but not…like this.
“I asked around, got some names, did some interviews. Nothing bad,” she said. “I was going to discuss it with you, of course.”
“
After
you discussed it with Jay obviously.”
Morgan forced herself to relax her arms. She needed to be approachable, calming, reasonable. One of them did.
“Doug, you need help. All of you do. You’re all trying to juggle a million things, you especially, and—”
“My dad is not a
thing
I juggle like meetings and appointments.”
She shook her head. “Of course not. I didn’t mean that. But you have a lot going on. You never say no to anyone. Jay is just a chance for you to get some time off—”
“What do I need time off for?” he asked. Something about his tone, and the expression on his face, made her think he already expected a certain answer.
She swallowed. “For whatever. For fun. For—”
“What—” he interrupted with a low, strained voice, “—do I need time off for, Morgan?”
She pressed her lips together. “I just—”
“Morgan,” he said, his voice full of warning.
“I have to go to California,” she said softly.
He visibly clenched his jaw, then relaxed it.
She could admit it sounded bad the way it was coming out. “You don’t understand,” she said quickly. “I want you to come, yes, but there are other times you could use Jay’s help. The other night, your sister was so exhausted and overwhelmed. Jeni’s kids are getting busier with activities. It just makes sense to have a back-up plan.”
“Believe it or not,” he said tightly. “We managed to get along just fine before you came along. Before you and your
checkbook
came along we took care of things, we got sick, we even had fun sometimes.”
She felt tears start to burn and she blinked rapidly. He was totally over-reacting to this. “I’m just trying to help.”
“I don’t need
help
.”
“But there’s so much you try to do. You’re one person. You can’t always be everything to everyone.” And she was afraid she would be the one without him when he ran out of stuff to give.
“I’m not saying it’s perfect,” he said, suddenly sounding tired. “But hell, you can’t always
buy
a solution, sometimes you just have to
be
the solution.”
“You’re
always
everyone’s solution!” she burst out. “You deserve—”
“Dammit!” He shoved away from the door. “It isn’t about deserving something more. It’s not like I’m suffering or missing out. I’m happy. I like things how they are.”
She pressed her lips together and took a deep breath in through her nose. “You like how things
were
,” she corrected. “Before I came along.”
“I like how things have been since you’ve been here,” he said, his voice dropping lower. “I like it a lot.”
“When I’m here. And at your house. And in your bed.”
“Yes.”
She could see his hands clenching at his sides. “But I won’t always be able to be…in those places.”
“You could,” he said simply. Quietly. His gaze seemed to bore into hers.
He was right, of course. She could stay. Part of her, a big part, wanted to.
But right now, looking at him like this, hearing him say that what he wanted was to have things his way, without compromise, made her realize that even if she convinced him—by threat or bribe or guilt—to go with her, he would never be totally happy away from his life, his people. Not even for a few days. Certainly not for good.
“I was supposed to go to California next weekend. With Jonathan. But he moved it up. Now I’m supposed to leave tomorrow.”
“For how long?”
For a moment her heart leapt. Would he consider it?
“Until Wednesday. I really think it’s the last step.”
“Which means if you don’t go, you won’t get the job.”
She paused, trying to read his face. “Right.”
Of course she wouldn’t turn it down.
Dooley could see it in her eyes. She was testing him. Would he go along? Would he encourage her to go? Or would he ask her to stay?
He couldn’t win.
He’d already pointed out that she could choose to stay. It was a fact. If she
wanted
to be here, she could be. Jonathan would absolutely let her continue to run the Omaha Britton. She didn’t have to or need to go to California.
But he’d be damned if he’d beg her to stay. She knew what was here. If it wasn’t enough…so be it.
Besides, he was mad at her.
She wanted to
hire
someone to take care of his dad.
His dad
. This wasn’t someone who was going to run a cash register or shuffle papers in his absence. This would be someone spending time with and caring for his father.
“How much do babysitters for physically dependent adults charge?” he asked.
Morgan drew herself up taller and seemed to be trying to gather her composure. “Now you’re just trying to piss me off.”
From the pink in her cheeks he would guess he was succeeding. Good. She could be pissed, while he was heartbroken.
He’d thought she got it. She’d been there when his dad needed her. She’d pitched right in like…one of the family. She seemed to genuinely like, enjoy and care about his family and friends. God knew they all felt that way about her.
Which was all great. Until something else came along. Something bigger and better. Like a new job in California.
“You had no right to hire Jay without talking to me.”
“I know. I didn’t. Not really. I talked to him about the job. I asked if he was available. I never said anything more about it.”
“But it’s all about making it so I can go to California with you.”
“No. Yes. I mean, I want you to go. That’s why I fast-tracked the idea. Why I did some legwork ahead of time. But it’s also about having some dependable help so none of you get stuck or have to give things up. Jeni and Tim and Lisa and Lance can do all the stuff with their kids. You can come to California with me. Kevin can go out. It’s a win-win.”
He tipped his head back staring up at the ceiling instead of at the woman he’d stupidly fallen in love with.
She knew his life. All of it. The good, the bad and the crazy. Still she focused on what he was giving up instead of on what he had, on what
she
would have to give up to be there with him instead of on the things he was trying to give her.
The craziest part was she was doing all this so she could have
him
. She wasn’t choosing anything over
him
. She wanted him, would do anything to have him with her.
She wasn’t leaving
him
.
Oh, no, she intended to have that cake and fuck it too.
He linked his hands behind his neck and sighed, eyes still on the ceiling. The sigh was full of sadness, resignation, with a touch of despair. He didn’t know how he was going to survive this. “Just…go to California,” he finally said, tired to his bones.
It had been inevitable. He saw that now.
Actually, he’d always seen it. It had been there, he’d just ignored it. She hadn’t tried to hide it, or lie. She’d never said she wasn’t going to California. She’d never said she was going to stay.
“Without you.” It wasn’t a question.
“I can’t go.”
“You
won’t
go,” she said.
He finally straightened, looking at her directly. The hurt was palpable.
Maybe they’d get a club T-shirt. One that said
Fuck love
. “That too.”
She took a deep breath, then let it out. His hands itched, ached even, to touch her. To grab her and not let her go.
Because she was going. He knew it.
If he thought it would matter, he’d do it. But he couldn’t give her what she wanted and needed ultimately. She needed security, stability. She thought that would come from money. The one thing he couldn’t give her.
“I leave tomorrow,” she said, chin up.
“I heard you.”
She didn’t say anything for a long time. Then she cleared her throat. “Well, I’d say this has officially stopped being fun.”
As she stepped around him, he let her go, feeling frozen. A moment later the firm smack of the door shutting behind her jarred him out of the stunned my-whole-life-just-changed daze.
He spun, staring at the door. She was gone.
But then, she’d been gone as of the moment she’d said yes to Jonathan Britton.
Fun? It was a hell of a lot more than that.
He’d had fun in his life.
He’d never had what he had with Morgan.
This definitely wasn’t fun anymore.
By the time the jet had landed in San Francisco on Sunday Morgan had the worst headache of her life. It wasn’t just from crying. Though she’d done plenty of that. But she hadn’t cried for at least six hours and still her head pounded. Probably because she’d been gritting her teeth as long as the tears weren’t falling.
She missed him. She was in love with him and they’d broken up.
Those
tears made sense. That feeling of loss and emptiness was expected.
It was the absolute frustration and anger she felt that she wasn’t sure what to do with.
He was wrong about her and he’d so easily jumped to the conclusions he had. Didn’t he know her? Didn’t he want to believe the best of her? Did he not think she was as amazing as she thought he was? That was what hurt. He’d so easily believed she was selfish and self-serving, throwing her money around to get her way.
Wearily, she climbed into the back of the limo waiting for her. For the first time she didn’t marvel at how great it was to travel in style. Instead she looked around at the interior, thought about how tonight the car seemed less impressive than the one she’d rented in Omaha for Doug’s family and friends. She knew what it was though. She was in this car alone. It wasn’t for fun, it was business. She wasn’t making anyone else smile with it.
She was so screwed.
She liked glamour and glitz when she got to share it with friends, with her guests, with Doug. She loved the feeling when someone walked in and went “wow” about something she’d done, the look of pleasure on their face because of an effort she’d given.
Tipping her head back against the seat and closing her eyes she felt another tear slide down her face. It didn’t take psychotherapy to figure out where that came from. It was the expression she knew her father had always been hoping for from her mom. He’d always wanted to impress her, surprise her, give her that “wow” moment.
It had never worked for him.
Now it was like Morgan was determined to prove it could happen. She was determined to make people smile and gasp and gush about something she’d done. It happened to her every day. At the Britton people would say how great their stay had been, how wonderful the extra touches were and it always made her happy. But nothing like how she’d felt the other night bringing Doug and his friends and family to the party. That had made it all a thousand times better than any other time.
Again, she didn’t need to pay anyone to help her analyze that. It was because she cared about them. She wanted to make them happy because they made her happy.
Simple.
Why couldn’t Doug see that?
Well, screw him.
The limo pulled up in front of the hotel as she was trying to convince herself it would be that easy to get Doug out of her system.
The hotel was a typical Britton and as Morgan walked through the tastefully elegant lobby she found herself terribly depressed.