Just Claire (12 page)

She shrugged. “Mr. Holcomb gave me somethin' to deaden the pain. I felt a tugging on my face and whatnot.”

Unable to imagine this, ClaireLee knew Mama and Daddy would have taken their child to the hospital and let the doctor do the stitching.

“I'm sleepy,” Belinda said with a yawn. “Will ya shut off the light?”

“Sure.” ClaireLee switched off the lamp on the dresser.

For bedtime prayers, she prayed Belinda and Grandma Neecy would stay safe in their travels. And Belinda's mama would come home.

I need to pray for my own mother, but I don't understand what's wrong.
Lying on her side, she folded her hands tighter near her chin.
Please, Lord God, heal whatever has caused Mama to change and be unhappy. In Jesus's name. Amen.
ClaireLee, then, stared at the dark ceiling hoping, hoping God would say yes to her prayers.

A
s ClaireLee washed
the breakfast dishes the following Monday, discontentment mushroomed over her. Belinda had to leave for Easter week vacation, even though she understood why, ClaireLee would miss her. After thinking of multiple ways to have fun, she liked one idea best of all.
Now, if only I can get Mama out of bed long enough to paint her fingernails and toenails.

ClaireLee wondered if the local market would have nail polish.
Lolly will love doing this with us.
She wasn't sure about Mama.
Now if only the store has Mama's favorite color.

After she finished chores and the boys left for the pond, ClaireLee headed out the door with Lolly. Growing more excited, she grabbed Lolly's hand. “Guess what we're doing today, honey?”

Tilting her head, she laughed. “I give up, Sissy Pie.”

“I'm going to buy nail polish, and we'll paint our nails.”

“Me too?” Lolly squealed. “Can I paint nails, can I?”

“You may paint my toes.” ClaireLee swung Lolly's hand.

Skipping and hopping, Lolly yelled, “Yippee.”

The sisters arrived at Pit Street and began the short walk to their destination. A car drove toward them, but curved into someone's wooded driveway. Once inside the store, ClaireLee waved to Mr. Holcomb. He hooked his thumbs in his overall straps. “Well, well. What are we buying today, ClaireLee?”

“Nail polish.”

Finger pointing, he waved a hand. “Another aisle over, and cosmetics are on the left side.”

“Thank you.” She pulled Lolly along and stood before the shelf. Sure enough, nail polish jars were lined up in a short row, three rows deep. “Pink, pink, do you see pink, Lolly?”

Lifting up on tippy toes, Lolly asked, “What's pink?”

“Remember I mixed the crayons to make it in your horse coloring book? The colors red and white together make pink. It's much lighter than red.” She traced her fingers over the glass containers. “Pink.”

Wiggling her fingers, Lolly reached. “Let me see.”

As ClaireLee lifted the shimmering bottle off the shelf, a hand snatched it from her. “I'll take
it
.”

Kaye Tyner.
ClaireLee's breath quickened.

Leaning into her big sister's waist, Lolly said, “We got it first, huh, Sissy Pie?”

“You know,” Kaye said, “what a dumb name. Babyish for a thirteen-year-old.”

ClaireLee draped an arm over Lolly as she hid her face in her older sister's shirt. “Leave my sister alone.” Shooting out her palm, she wiggled her fingers. “Give it back.”

Wendy saddled next to Kaye and frowned. “Give what back?”

Planting hands on hips, ClaireLee said, “
Kaye
took my nail polish.”

Shaking her head, Wendy said to Kaye, “Did you do this?”

An expression of shame crossed over Kaye's face, and then it disappeared. “I'm just having a little fun in this boring town.” She dropped the polish in Wendy's hand.

Giving the bottle to ClaireLee, Wendy shook her head. “Having fun is taking something you have plenty of?” Kaye shuffled her feet, avoiding Wendy's glare. Wendy said to ClaireLee. “What are your plans for this week?”

“Plans?” She blinked, still recovering from Kaye's bullying.

“Why, yes, you know.” Wendy paused, then, seeming to ClaireLee to enjoy her confusion. “What are you doing for a whole week?”

ClaireLee still didn't trust how Wendy treated some people—like Belinda, for instance. She stroked Lolly's arm. “Nothing special. Today we're polishing our nails.”

Removing her face from the hiding place against her sister's waist, Lolly said, “I get to polish Sissy Pie's nails.”

Wendy bent forward, resting palms on her corduroy pants. “It sounds like the best fun ever.” She straightened. “I'm having an Easter party on Friday. I'd like you to come.”

A gut reaction, ClaireLee fought the urge to see behind her if Wendy was speaking to someone else. “I'll have to check with my parents.”

She pointed her chin at Lolly. “Bring your sister. It's always more fun to hunt eggs with the little kids.”

Standing behind Wendy, Kaye pulled a face, smirking.

Moving away, Wendy said, “Come over around noon if you can make it. We'll decorate.”

“If I'm able to come, I will.”
Daddy has to let me go.

Wagging her head, Kaye said, “Gotta ask your mommy?”

Wendy stepped on Kaye's foot, obvious to ClaireLee, to shush her. Kaye scowled in pain. “Don't be rude to people I've invited as my guests.”

Taking a backward step, ClaireLee said, “I've got to get back.” She glanced at the clock on the wall. “Mama doesn't know where I'm at.”

“So, we'll see you if we see you?” Wendy's brows dipped to a frown.

She shrugged. “We don't have a phone.”

Kaye opened her mouth, probably to speak, but then she pressed her lips together. ClaireLee stared at her, sure she was about to say something hateful. “Thank you for inviting me, Wendy. I hope to come.”

Having paid for the polish, ClaireLee hurried out with Lolly. As they got within yards of the cabin, she punched her arm toward the sky with a skip and a hop. She sang, “There's a great day coming, a great day coming, there's a great day coming, by and by. . .”

If Mama became worse, though, would ClaireLee be tied to the cabin, never getting to go anywhere?

L
ater the same afternoon
, Mama left her room. While she washed her hands at the kitchen sink, ClaireLee stopped reading a story to Lolly. She walked over to Mama and touched Mama's back. “I have a surprise.” She opened her hand for Mama to see. “I bought nail polish for you and us girls.”

“Oh, honey.” Mama faced ClaireLee. “It would be nice to get pretty.” Her eyes lit brighter. “Pink. My favorite color.”

A rush of emotions flooded ClaireLee, and she gushed, “Oh, yes, Mama, we'll have so much fun. It'll make you feel better. I just know it.”

Mama's hand trembled.

Steadying herself for what, she didn't know, ClaireLee gave Mama a towel to dry her hands. The towel dropped to the floor, taking ClaireLee's hopes with it. Her mama's lips quivered. Tears filled her lids, and drops streaked along her cheeks.

ClaireLee's insides shook with anxiety.
Did I say something wrong?
“Mama?”

With sudden steps, Mama pushed by ClaireLee. “I feel sick.” She entered her bedroom and shut the door. Click went the lock. This woke the baby and he cried.

Gathering up the fallen towel, ClaireLee threw it on the counter. It went too far and plunked into the greasy dishwater, splashing dirty water everywhere. “Oh, good gravy, I've got another mess to clean.”
And I said something wrong to Mama.

Lolly tugged on ClaireLee's shirt. “Mama's always sleeping.”

“Yeah,” ClaireLee mumbled, “always.”

From the bed, where Lolly had climbed, she said, “Catch me.” Lolly flew into ClaireLee's arms. “It's okay, Sissy Pie, we'll have fun.”

“I wanted to do this with Mama.” She bit on her lip.
I must be cheery for Lolly.
“You're right.”

She wiggled out of ClaireLee's hold. “Okay, Sissy Pie.” Lolly crawled onto the kitchen chair, kneeled down, and folded her hands on the table. “I'm ready.”

“Wait. You're ready, but I'm not.” She rattled the bottle of polish, and Mama's crushed expression flashed before her. The metal ball clicked, clicked, clicked in rhythm to mix the paint. ClaireLee closed her eyes against the image of Mama, once again fearful.

Tapping the table, ClaireLee said, “Lay your hand down and spread your fingers wide, so they don't touch.” ClaireLee unscrewed the cap and patted Lolly's fingers. “Wider. We don't want the polish to smear.”

With careful strokes, ClaireLee applied the first coat. When she finished, Lolly blew on her nails. “I'm pretty.”

She stroked Lolly's cheek. “You are always cute, baby girl.” If Mama never changes, will Lolly ever remember our normal mama?

A
s Friday grew
one day closer, ClaireLee's nerves jittered and popped. She longed to attend Wendy's party. For fear of Daddy saying no, she put off asking for his permission until Thursday evening. After she wiped the last dish dry, she approached Daddy at his rocker. He was nodding off over the
Redden Herald
newspaper. “Daddy?”

It took a moment, but his lids flickered. “Yeah, Claire Bear?”

“Lolly and I are invited to an Easter party.”

“Oh?” He rubbed his closed eyes. “Whose?”

Hoping he'd say yes, she crossed her fingers behind her back. “Wendy Lavender's.”

“Mr. Lavender's my boss.” He cocked his head. “Citified, but a straight up-and-down-enough fella.”

“Does this mean yes?” She clasped her hands under her chin.

“This means yes.” Daddy yawned.

She hugged him around the neck. “Thank you, Daddy.”

“You're welcome.” He folded the paper and slapped it on his knee. “When is it and for how long?”

“Tomorrow afternoon, but she didn't say when it was over.”

“Okay. Just make sure the chores get done, and ask Big Red if he'll watch the boys. I don't want your mom to deal with them. She's taking longer to heal than I ever thought she would.” ClaireLee moved to go, but he snatched her hand. “You've worked hard, daughter, and it's time for you to enjoy yourself.”

A surge of approval rushed through her.
He noticed.
She kissed his bearded cheek. “I love you, too.” ClaireLee took a step, but thought of a question. “Will Mama ever get well?”

Daddy rolled his gaze heavenward and brought it level with hers. His stare punched, making her flinch. “Claire Bear. Honey, I honestly hope so.” He wiggled her hand. “Now run along, and tell Big Red you need a sitter.”

She nodded, hesitated, and then draped the wet dish towel on the back of the kitchen chair. Wanting to cry over Mama on the way to Big Red's, she willed herself to think of the party.
I'll have fun at Wendy's.

Big Red's door creaked open to her knock. “Well, well, Miss ClaireLee, what brings you here?” She told Big Red her need for a babysitter. A pleased expression crossed his features and he said, “Bring the boys over, I'm available. It has been a long Easter break, and this cabin needs some livening up.” His eyes twinkled. “I know how to handle boys. I'll take them to the pond, and we'll do some fishin'.”

Linking fingers in front of her, ClaireLee's arms relaxed. “Thank you, Big Red.”

Dancing a jig back to her cabin, she twirled before reaching the porch steps. Her heart soared like a puffball set free in the breeze. But, as she reached the porch, Mama's sobs penetrated the log walls. ClaireLee walked to the empty cabin next door and sat on the porch. She waited out the storm going on inside cabin number nine.

T
he next day
, ClaireLee swept the last bit of dirt through the open doorway. She hummed along to her favorite gospel station while whisking the debris across the rain-drenched porch. The boys left for Big Red's long ago, too excited about fishing to wait. Settling the broom behind the front door, she had mentally chosen her Easter party dress.

She lifted the dress from the box marked “girls clothes,” and her lips creased to a pout.
A big, fat stain.
It glared at her from the ruffled bodice, and she buried her cheeks into the plaid fabric.
Now I can't wear this.

Rubbing ClaireLee's arm, Lolly said, “Sissy Pie?”

Sorry for the blemish, she said, “What?”

“I sad you're sad.”

Shrugging off her disappointment for Lolly's sake, she said, “I'm okay.” She held out the dress to see if there were any more spots.

Lolly leaned closer and pointed at the quarter-sized blemish. “Oh, this is bad, huh?”

ClaireLee stood from her kneeling position. “Yes, but we'll see if I can work it out.” At the sink she added a drop of dish soap to the blemish and scrubbed the material between her fingers. As she rinsed out the suds, the stain mocked her. ClaireLee groaned. “Like Belinda says, it's time for plan B.”

Lolly yanked on ClaireLee's shirt. “What's a plan B?”

“It's when your first idea doesn't work.” ClaireLee patted the wet material with a towel. “Then, you need to try something else.”

With a sober expression, Lolly dipped her chin and blinked. “But, what can you do?”

Setting a towel on the table, ClaireLee ironed her dress. “My plan B, then, is to wear a sweater to hide it. The weather's still cold enough, so it'll work.”
Though, I'm unhappy with my dress. What if it gets too hot at Wendy's? Please, don't sweat.

After getting dressed, ClaireLee leaned an ear to Mama's door.
Should I tell her I'm leaving?
She shook her head.
Mama will never miss us.
As the sisters held hands going out the door, ClaireLee's stomach whirled like a hummingbird.
I'm going to Wendy's all-girl party.

As the two sisters crossed over Pit Street, the normal roar of the Rushing River changed to a purr. ClaireLee assumed the river curved in the opposite direction. Soon, the second largest building in Gallagher Springs—the school being the first—rose into view. ClaireLee gripped Lolly's hand and Lolly said, “We almost there, Sissy Pie?”

“Yes.” She wagged a finger ahead at Wendy and Kaye's place. “This is where we're having the party.”

Lolly skipped. “Oh, goodie, goodie.”

“Now, listen to me.” ClaireLee squatted to eye level with Lolly. “Show good manners. Don't ask for food, and let me serve you the snacks. Don't talk too much either. Understand?” Lolly nodded with exaggeration. “Okay then, let's go.” ClaireLee beamed, and with a happy heart, she continued the short distance to Wendy Lavender's.

A
s ClaireLee raised
a fist to knock, Wendy flung open the door. “You made it.”
Wendy's wearing lipstick, nylons, and…and…high heels?
ClaireLee's heart nose-dived. Waving, her other hand fumbled with her braid.

From the top of ClaireLee's parted and braided hair, over the plaid dress, and to the bottom of her leather shoes, Wendy scrutinized ClaireLee with steely eyes.

Beyond nervous, ClaireLee's confidence faded.

Showing no emotion, Wendy waved her arm. “Come in. We're bringing out the box of decorations.” She moved aside to allow the two sisters to pass. “Welcome, Monteiro girls.”

At ClaireLee's left, a lady swooped by, wearing a shiny black dress and a white fringed apron. She held a tray of tall drinks with flying ducks etched around the border of the glasses. A lemon wedge perched on each rim. “Miss, would you care for lemonade?”

Waiting before she took a drink, ClaireLee said, “Yes ma'am.” The lady—who ClaireLee decided was their maid—lowered the tray to allow easy reach of the refreshment. As the maid bent lower for Lolly, ClaireLee put out a hand. “I'll share with my sister.”

The maid bowed. “Yes, miss.”

Wendy hooked her arm into ClaireLee's and steered her into the living area. As big as a rock cliff, the slate fireplace filled an entire wall. The place reminded ClaireLee of a hunting lodge she'd seen in a movie. Raising her eyes to the ceiling, deer-antlered chandeliers hung above her head.

“Silly.” Lolly laughed. “Deer lost their horns.”

“Very observant.” Wendy chuckled. “Smart little sister.”

A thumping came down the stairs. Kaye and Valerie struggled with a box, grunting and gasping. Kaye said, “This Easter box is heavy.” She caught sight of ClaireLee. “I see you are able to grace our party.”

Waving, Valerie said, “Hi, ClaireLee. I'm glad you came.” She spoke to Lolly. “Wanna have fun?”

Lolly wagged her head yes. “Where are the Easter eggs?”

“Uh, uh, uh.” ClaireLee poked her sister on the shoulder. “Hush.”

Embarrassed, Lolly buried her face in ClaireLee's sweater. “But, Sissy Pie, I wanna hunt eggs.”

Guffawing, Kaye caught her breath and said, “There's the dumb name:
Sissy Pie
.”

Wendy crossed her arms and stared at Kaye, and the sneer on Kaye's lips vanished.

At least Wendy and Valerie want me here.
ClaireLee shrugged.

“Want to help us decorate first, Lolly?” Wendy said.

“No.” Her lower lip trembled. “I won't.”

“Yes, you will.” ClaireLee shifted her weight to the other foot. “It's why we came early. Remember?”

Valerie slipped her hand into Lolly's. “Let's see what's in the box.” She led Lolly toward the decorations.

Standing next to the box, Lolly peered in. “Come see, Si—uh, ClaireLee.”

I'll show Kaye not to interfere.
Brushing her hand over Lolly's head, ClaireLee said, “I'm Sissy Pie to you. Always.”

Lolly tilted the right side of her mouth upward. “Yep, sure, Sissy Pie.”

The girls pulled out a stuffed chick as big as a large teddy bear. Making a pile, they placed boxes of solid chocolate bunnies, woven baskets, and handmade letters strung together, which spelled “Happy Easter.”

“Where did you get all this?” ClaireLee said.

“Macy's.” Kaye brushed what, ClaireLee didn't know, off her blouse.

“Yes,” Wendy said, “we planned all the parties before we moved.”

Gathering the packages of chocolate bunnies to her chest, Kaye said, “We shopped for each holiday and packed them in their own boxes.”

ClaireLee spread the “Happy Easter” banner across the floor. “You brought decorations for other holidays, also?”

“Sure,” Wendy and Kaye said in unison.

Amazed at being able to have so many things, ClaireLee said, “You had a party for Thanksgiving and Christmas?”

Wendy strung lights the color of Easter across the fireplace mantel. “Correct.”

“How did you know how many chocolate bunnies to bring?” ClaireLee asked.

“I'm a planner.” Wendy finished setting out the lights and said, “I don't do anything without giving it intense thought. When I agreed to leave Boston and come here, I planned to start a club and named it.” She pointed at Kaye. “Together we shopped for the holidays and made some of the decorations. We decided on how many girls we'd invite into our club and no more. I allowed for extra amounts, like on the bunnies.” Her eyes sparkled. “More chocolate is always nice.”

“How did you learn to plan like this?” Valerie took a closer look at the chocolate bunny.

“Yeah, Wendy,” ClaireLee said, “did you learn it at your school?”

Picking up a stuffed rabbit, she shook her head. “My mother is an organizer for some of the largest clubs in Boston. She taught me.”

“You have quite a different life,” ClaireLee said. “I can't even imagine.”
I'd like to try it, but I never will.

Hours later, when the party was over, Kaye stuck a pin in a large balloon and confetti fell like snow over the girls. As Lolly danced under the rain of paper, ClaireLee thought of all they had done. Best of all, she liked the assortment of snacks and drinks. And she'd never had this much fun, playing the games and hunting eggs.

I fit in well enough with these girls.
ClaireLee crossed her fingers behind her back.
Will Wendy decide I belong in the Lavender Girls Club? If not, what can I do to convince her?

A
rriving
home from Wendy's party, a box blocked the entrance to the cabin. The label on the package announced “Miss ClaireLee Monteiro.” She peered closer at the return address. In block letters the name appeared: Juliet's Dress Shop. ClaireLee giggled. “Dresses.”
I wonder who sent them to me. Juliet's Dress Shop sounds like a fancy store.

“Whoopee.” Lolly clapped. “Open it, open it.”

Dragging the box inside, silence met ClaireLee's cocked ear. Good, Mama and Feather still napped. Retrieving a steak knife, she opened the lid. On top sat an envelope addressed from Nana and to ClaireLee. Sheets of tissue paper hid the dresses. ClaireLee glanced at Mama's door
.
I can't let Mama see these dresses. Not yet. I need to figure out how to tell her Nana got our address.
Telling Mama she wrote a letter was one thing. If Mama asked what she wrote, this became a different matter. “Shh,” she said to Lolly, “whisper. We need to let Mama sleep.”

Nodding, Lolly tapped her own lips.

Placing the envelope in her jumper pocket, ClaireLee then patted it.

“Read to me,” Lolly whisper-shouted.

ClaireLee had to read it first. “Shh. Let's bring the box to the bathroom.” She needed to know if she should skip any parts. No one could learn of her SOS letter.
Lolly probably wouldn't tell, but you never know with little kids.

Heaving the box up, the sisters carried it to the bathroom, and ClaireLee locked them inside. She couldn't believe this big of a package found her corner of the wilderness. Upon lifting the sheets of paper off the dresses, she noticed the fabrics were as colorful as the wildflowers in their field back home in Oregon. ClaireLee lifted each one—six in all—with the last one a plum color made of velvet material.
This dress will be my favorite.

Lolly leaned closer. “They're so pretty.”

She whispered into Lolly's ear, “I'm happy they're mine.” She plucked the last sheets of paper from the bottom of the box, and tears sprang to her eyes. Lolly reached in for the last gift and waved a pair of boots at ClaireLee. Cupping her hands, she presented them to ClaireLee as though they were a special gift from her. ClaireLee hugged the boots. “Thank you, Nana.”

In a husky whisper, Lolly said, “Hurry, Sissy Pie, try them on.”

Setting them down, she slipped them over her stockinged feet, tipped her boot toe, and then dipped her heel. “These are fancy.”

Lolly petted the fringe. “Feels like a rabbit.” She touched ClaireLee's pocket. “Read what Nana says.”

“No. Go change into your play clothes.”

When Lolly left, ClaireLee relocked the door and pulled out the letter and read.

D
ear Claire Bear
,

I'm relieved you wrote. I felt all was not right as we heard no word for six months. Your papa kept telling me, we would hear from your mama soon.

It took a long while to get this letter to you, but I wanted to shop for your dresses in the city of Portland. Enjoy your dresses, sweetheart. You are probably ready to go up a size. The dresses should fit.

I'm sorry we can't come for a visit. I've been feeling under the weather, but I long for the day when you move back home. We're taking good care of your rabbits and hens. We miss you all so very much.

We love you,

Nana and Papa

P.S. I'm praying your mama will get better soon.

C
laireLee
tsked
her tongue and lowered her head.
Nana's unable to come.

Shaking off her disappointment as best she could, ClaireLee stood on the toilet seat and held the plum velvet dress to her bony self. She nodded at her reflection in the ages-old mirror. ClaireLee fluttered her lashes and puckered her mouth. The dress color complemented her nut-brown eyes. She began to hum to the hymn “Sing On,” and sang in a quiet voice, “Sing on, O blissful music. . .”

Tears creased her lids and she whispered, “Why in the world am I crying?” She shook herself and sniffed.
I miss my nana.

After leaving the bathroom, ClaireLee struggled to stuff the box of dresses underneath the bed frame. The boys couldn't see new clothes.
Not yet.
She would model each pick of the day before school.
Maybe wearing the new clothes will help Wendy decide I belong in the club. No more wearing homemade plaid clothes.

After eating a snack, ClaireLee read Nana's letter in a quiet voice to Lolly—all except for the last line. She pressed her lips and pantomimed to zip them close. “Let's keep my dresses and boots a secret.”

Her chin level with the kitchen table, Lolly scooped more popcorn into her mouth. Lolly's deliberate blinks were a clue to ClaireLee; she should expect a question. “Why?”

Stuffing the letter into its envelope, ClaireLee said, “Isn't it fun to know something no one else does? Just us girls?”

Lolly put her finger to her popcorn-flaked mouth. “I won't tell.”

“Thank you, baby.” She pinched Lolly's cheek. “Next week, I'll impress Wendy Lavender with my new dresses. I just know it.” Snapping her fingers, she said, “I've got it. I'll see right now if Valerie's working at Holcomb's, so she can teach me how to become a Lavender Girl.”