Just a Little Embrace (5 page)

“Still feeling under the weather, I see,” Derek said as he walked past the house with the dog leash in hand.

I glanced up from the porch
step
and smiled, but both of us knew that there was very little truth behind
my smile.

“Care to join me?” he asked.

“I’m not really in the mood to talk
.
”

“You d
on’t have to s
ay a word,” he said. “We can
just walk a few blocks in silence, if that’s what you prefer. I just know it’s nice to have
some
friendly
company
from time to time
.”

I smirked a
nd nodded, sliding off the step.

“Alright,” he said, letting
the dog take the lead as I joined him on the sidewalk.

We walked down the sidewalk, bo
th of us bundled in our jackets
as the cool autumn wind picked up and hit us full force with
a
leaf-filled gust of air.

I shivered under my jacket and looked down at the dog,
p
rancing along the sidewalk as though the chilly weather was the least of his worries.

“What his name?” I asked, meeting Derek’s blue eyes.

“
Elvis,” he said, smiling down at
the German shepherd. “
He was my mom’s.”

We continued to walk for
two more
block
s
without saying a
nother
word. True to his word, Derek didn’t speak unless I
spoke to him
. In some very strange way, the s
ilence brought a
bout a
sense of peace,
and his company kept my mind from w
a
ndering too close to Luke.

“I’m sorry I’m not much of a conversationalist today,” I said, looking down at my feet. “I’ve just had a lot on my mind.”

“I i
magine,” he said. “After your 4
am
fight in the middle of the street on Monday, I’ve noticed you’ve been a little down in the dumps.”

I sent him a questionable stare and he shrugged. “I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop,” he said. “
I was out in the yard with Elvis and
I heard
some
screaming
a couple blocks down.
W
hen I realized it was you… I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

I nodded. “I’ve gotten pretty good at handling myself
—”

“Yeah,” he
said. “You’ve got quite the arm
there. He didn’t stand a chance with that boulder you threw at
him.
”

I chuckled. “It was tiny rock
—”

“Right,”
he said, smiling along with me.
He shook his head as if amazed by something.
“
You’re too cute, you know that?”

I closed my eyes and let his compliment sink in. Why could
n’t
Luke
take one sober minute to say something as sweet as that?

“Honestly, the guy
’
s an idiot,” he continued
, as if he’d read my mind
. “I see the way you
look at him, and I know he sees
it too. I can’t imagine why
he’d let
you slip through his fingers
—”

“It’s complicated
,” I said, understanding Luke’s side more than I cared to admit. “There’s an age gap, and I think that scares him… but not near as much as my Uncle Charlie
does
.
I think he’s afraid of how it would look
—”

“And that’s really the kind of guy you want to be with?” he asked. “Someone who’s so concerned with upholding his reputation that he can’t appreciate what’s right in front of him?
And d
oes he always talk to you like that, Julie? Like you’re a child? Like he’s entitled?”

“He
is
entitled,” I said
. “In some respect
… he
is
my boss
—”

“He’s your coach,” Derek corrected me. “He’s just signing off on your job shadowing hours. He’s
not
your superior.”

I shrugged. “You k
now the crazy thing?
I know he has feelings for me,
but he
refuses to confront those feelings, let alone admit them.”

“Then, I’ll reiterate my earlier statement. He’s an idiot.”

Derek and I continued to walk along, neither of
us
knowing what else to say
.

I
appreciated how muc
h
he was trying
to help, but his opinion was slightly biased
. He’d only seen one side of
Luke. He didn’t know the
honest, soft-spoken, kind-hearted Luke that I’d caught a glimpse of during our hours together.

As we turned the corner of Linden and Main, coming full circle in our walk around the neighborhood, I caught sight of Luke’s patrol car sitting in the driveway, and Luke still sitting behind the wheel.

I tried to keep myself from sprinting toward him, especially out of politeness to Derek, but I picked up my pace as we got closer to the house.

“Go on,” Derek said. “Obviously he has something he wants to say.”

I smiled, s
aid a quick
thank you
, and sprinted toward the cruiser. Luke was sitting back in the driver’s seat, his eyes staring straight forward, and he didn’t seem to notice for a second that I’d walked up to the window. I tapped on the glass and he jumped from inside,
closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

He opened the door and let himself out, slamming the door behind him.

“
Dammit
, Little,” he said. “You nearly gave me heart attack
—”

“Rule number one,” I said. “Always be alert.”

A small grin twitched at the corner of his lips.

“What brings you here?” I asked, leaning against the side of his car.

“I’m ready to talk,” he said, watching as Derek and Elvis finally walked by. “Doesn’t it seem a little fishy to you that that guy is always around?”

“He lives next door
—”

“Still,” he said, eyeing Derek. He finally looked back at me and nodded up to the porch. “
Can we sit
?”

“Sure,” I said, taking the lead. I walked up the step
s and took a seat on the porch
step
.
Luke settled in next to me, careful not to brush my body or make any unintentional contact.
“What
’s on your mind
?”

“For one,” he said. “I’ve decided not to
arrest
you for assaulting a police officer
—”

“
Har-har-har
,” I said
,
reminding myself just
how hard I’d probably hit him with that rock
. “You deserved
it
and you know it.”

A smile appeared, but slowly faded away as he looked up
.

“You’re a good kid, Julie,” he said. “You’re smart, and funny, and you’ve got
a good head on your shoulders.”

“Thank you,” I said, not liking
his
tone. I could hear far too much rejection building in his speech.

“And I understand the feelings that you’re experiencing,” he continued. “We’ve all been there, you know? And especially at your age, it’s only natural
—”

“Let me stop you right there,” I said, putting my hand on top of his. “What you’re saying is that… you understand that I have feeling
s for you, and you can respect how I feel
, but you also want me to understand that you don’t reciprocate those feelings. Am I right?”

He nodded. “And
when it comes right down to it,
I
still
think you read way too much in to whatever was said the other night
—”

“Right,” I said, taking a deep breath.

“I want us to be able to continue our hours together,” he said. “You’ve done so well and I don’t want this argument to
interfere with our work
.”

I nodded.

“Luke,” I said, pulling m
y hand back from his. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry you feel that way
—”

“It’s okay, kid,” he said, patting his legs and standing up as if he’d sensed some finality in our conversation.
“It’s good that we’ve cleared the air.”

“Luke,” I said, still sitting on the
step
.
Maybe he was done, but I wasn’t.

“Yeah?” he turned back.

“Can you do me a favor?”

“I can try
—”

“Stop calling me
kid
,” I said, biting back tears. “And while you’re at it, stop treating me like one.”

Before h
e had time to respond, I got up
and brushed past him, taking the steps down into the yard and over to Derek’s house. I
pounded on the door
as Luke stood watching me from my porch, and when Derek answered, I threw myself in his arms and sobbed against his shoulder. He pulled me over the threshold, shut the door, and took me in his arms once again.

And then I cried some more.

Chapter Six

Saturday September 22

“Shut up!” I said, pushing Derek off the sidewalk as we walked down Linden. “You did not!’

“Honest to God,” he said. “I pointed my finger in his face and said
D
on’t mess with me punk, I’m a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle
.”

I was bent over at the waist, laughing hysterically for the hundredth time that day.

“And then when I turned six,
M
om
finally sat me down and r
e
vealed
the cold, hard truth about my true identity
—”

“That you weren’t really a crime fighting turtle?”

He nodded as if the childhood memory still haunted him, but the smirk on his face was clue enough that he was only telling these stories to keep my mind free and clear of yesterday’s conversation with Luke.

“Thank you,” I said, wrapping my jacket a little tighter. “
But y
ou don’t have
to keep fabricating these stories for
my
benefit
—”

“
Fabricating
?
Ha!” he said
, striking a karate pose right there on the sidewalk. “My crime fighting toddler years are as real as the ground we walk on
, Julie Little
.”

I smiled as he dropped his pose and continued to walk along
my side.

“So when are you going to
let me ask you
out
again?”

“Derek,” I said, throwing him a sideways glance. “You know I’m not
—”

“Right, right,” he said, biting his
lip and shr
ugging
. “I thought y
ou’d need more time to recover—”

“I’m okay,” I said. “I’m just still a little shaken by everything. But I’ll be fine. It was just a dumb crush
—”

“Maybe,” Derek said. “But maybe not, and
while I’m dying to take you out on the town,
I don’t want to swoop in too early and mess up this beautiful friendship.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pressed a quick kiss to the side of my head. “All in good time;
you just let me know when you’re ready.”

As w
e continued t
o
walk, his arm never left my body. It eventually moved from my shoulder to my waist, pulling
me
closer as we walked
along
the sidewalk in the cool, autumn breeze.

I closed my eyes and rested my head on his shoulder, remembering the day when Luke had taken me by the hand and led me through the woods to an open field. The way his touch
burned my hand with a fiery sensation
ignited a
feeling deep inside of me… one that still coursed through my veins every time I saw his face
.
And then there was the
sincerity
in his beautiful brown eyes on Saturday when he
softly wiped away the make-up that had stained my face
.