Jumpers (2 page)

The
JUMPERS
are dressed in yellow uniforms—tracksuit trousers and singlets—and although they pass muster at first glance, they are not as universally youthful or athletic-looking as one might expect
.

ARCHIE
(
unseen
): And now, ladies and gentlemen, on the occasion of a momentous victory at the polls, may I present your hostess and mine, making a most welcome reappearance, the much-missed, much-loved star of the musical stage, the incomparable, magnetic Dorothy Moore!
(
DOTTY
enters. Much applause
.)

DOTTY
: Thank you, thank you for coming.
(
Music introduction for
‘Shine on Harvest Moon'.
She dries
.)
And now, making a most welcome reappearance, the incomparable, unreliable, neurotic Dorothy Moore.
(
Applause. Cheers. Introduction repeated
.)
How does it begin?
(
GUESTS
,
offstage, sing
‘Shine on, shine on harvest moon'.)
(
Singing, but going wrong immediately
.)
I want to spoon to my honey I'll croon love's June or July.
(
Breaks off
.) No I can't. I'm sorry (
and goes).
(Drum roll
.)

Cries of disappointment change to cries of delight
.

Like a pendulum between darkness and darkness, the
SECRETARY
swings into the spotlight, and out. She is on a swing, making an arc from wing to wing, in sight for a second, out of sight for a second, in sight for a second, out of sight for a second… back and forth. The swing itself hangs from a chandelier
.

Cheers
.

Each time she reappears she has taken off some clothing
.

Grateful cheers
.

CROUCH
enters from side, the porter pressed into service to serve drinks at the party. He wears a short white coat and carries a round tray balanced on one hand, drinks on tray
.

He is going to stray into the line of vision. Voices warn him away, good-humouredly
.

CROUCH
does not know what is going on: every time he turns downstage, the
SECRETARY
is in view behind him, and every time he looks upstage the gap is empty
.

‘Mind your back!'

‘Out the way!'

‘Let the dog see the rabbit!'

CROUCH
is bewildered
.

The
SECRETARY
is nearing nakedness, obscured. The unseen watchers are nearing hysterical frustration
.

At the climax of their cries
,
CROUCH
backs into the path of the swing and is knocked arse over tip by a naked lady
,
BLACKOUT
and crash of broken glass. Immediately:

VOICE
(
ARCHIE
'
s voice
): ‘And now!—ladies and gentlemen!—the
INCREDIBLE
—
RADICAL!
—
LIBERAL
!!—JUMPERS!!'
(
White spot. Musical introduction
.
EIGHT JUMPERS
enter jumping, tumbling, somersaulting, four from each side of the stage: a not especially talented troupe of gymnasts possibly using a trampoline.
Discreet musical accompaniment.
Their separate entrances converge to form a tableau of modest pretension
.)

DOTTY
(
entering):
That's not incredible…. Well, is it? I can sing better than that. I mean I can sing better than they can jump.
(
DOTTY
wanders on to the stage in front of the now disassembling tableau. Her blonde hair is elegantly ‘up', her white dress is long and billowy… she looks fabulous, stunning. She flaps a hand dismissively at the
JUMPERS
.)
(
Equably
.) No good—you're still credible. (
Generally
.) Get me someone unbelievable!
(
GEORGE
,
holding sheets of paper, has already entered behind her, and as
DOTTY
turns on her last word she is face to face with
him, and continues without pause
.)
Promptness I like.
(
GEORGE
is not dressed for a party. Flannels and shabby smoking jacket, hair awry, his expression and manner signifying remonstrance. The
JUMPERS
persevere, doggedly helping each other to do back-flips, etc
.)
I have a complaint. These people are supposed to be incredible and I'm not even astonished.
I am not faintly surprised
. In fact, not only can I sing better than they can jump, I can probably jump higher than they can sing.

GEORGE:
For God's sake. It's after two a.m.
(
She turns to the presumed source of music
.)

DOTTY
: Give me a C.
(
GEORGE
goes as far as to touch her arm. She turns on him with sudden obliterating fury
.)
It's my bloody party, George!
(
GEORGE
leaves.)
(A
JUMPER
flips himself into a standing position in mid-stage.)
(Equable again
.) I can do that.
(
A
SECOND JUMPER
joins the first
.)
And that.
(
A
THIRD JUMPER
leaps on to the shoulders of the first two
.)
I can't do that, but my belief is unshakeable, so get off.
(
To the unseen musicians
.) I'll do the one about the moon.
I'm sure you know it.
(
A word about
DOTTY
'
s
SONG
.
The musicians attempt to follow her but are thwarted by her inability to distinguish between one moon-song and another, and by her habit of singing the words of one to the tune of another. The music gamely keeps switching tracks, but
DOTTY
keeps double-crossing it
.)

(
Sings
.) Shine on, shine on, harvest moon
I want to spoon
To my honey I'll croon love's June
Or July——

—No, that's not it——

(
Sings
.) Shine on, shine on silvery moon
I used to sigh
In June or July
How high the——

—No, you've gone wrong again——

(
Sings
.)
moon
, you saw me standing alone——
(
The last six words have fortuitously combined the words and tune of
‘Blue Moon'.)
That's it, that's it!
(
Now confident, she starts to play the
chanteuse,
strolling in and out among the dogged
JUMPERS,
moving upstage of them and turning
.)

(
Sings
.) Blue moon
You saw me standing alone
Without a dream in my heart
It must have been moonglow
Way up in the Blue Moon
You saw me standing——

No, no——
(
Shouts at
JUMPERS
.)
All right, I believe you!—you're incredible! And now for another song.
(
From now until their act is terminated by events, the
JUMPERS
are assembling themselves into a human pyramid composed thus:
SIX JUMPERS
in three-two-one formation, flanked by the other two standing on their hands at the pyramid's base. When the pyramid is complete it hides
DOTTY
from view
.)

(
Sings
.) You saw me standing in June
January, Allegheny, Moon or July——

(
Jeers
.) Jumpers I've
had
—yellow, I've had them all!
I
ncredible,
barely
credible, credible and all too bloody likely——When I say jump,
jump!
(From her tone now it should be apparent that
DOTTY
,
who may have appeared pleasantly drunk, is actually breaking up mentally. And from her position in the near-dark outside the
JUMPERS
'
light, it should be possible to believe that
DOTTY
is
responsible for what happens next—which is:
A gun shot
.
ONE JUMPER
,
bottow row, second from left, is blown out of the pyramid. He falls downstage, leaving the rest of the pyramid intact. The music has stopped
.
DOTTY
, chanteuse,
walks through the gap in the pyramid.) (The shot
JUMPER
is at her feet. He starts to move, dying, pulling himself up against
DOTTY
'
s legs. She looks at him in surprise as he crawls up her body. His blood is on her dress. She holds him under his arms, and looks around in a bewildered way. She whimpers
.)
Archie….
(
The pyramid has been defying gravity for these few seconds. Now it slowly collapses into the dark, imploding on the missing part, and rolling and separating, out of sight, leaving only the white spot
.
DOTTY
does not move, holding the
JUMPER
.)

ARCHIE
(
voice only
):…
(
The Party hubbub comes back, at a higher pitch
.) Quiet please…. The party is over…

A DRUNK
(
sings
): It's time to call it a day…
(
This sets off a ripple of applause and cheers.
The party noise dies to silence.
The light contracts to a spot on
DOTTY
and the
JUMPER
,
eerily. Frozen time
,
DOTTY
still has not moved
.)

DOTTY:
Archie…

ARCHIE
(
off
): Oh dear!

DOTTY:
Archie…

ARCHIE
(
off
): Just keep him out of sight till morning. I'll be back.

DOTTY:
Archie…

ARCHIE
(
off
): Hush… I'll be back at eight o'clock.
(
Around her, the flat assembles itself
,
BEDROOM, STUDY, HALL
.
The white spot remains—on the
SCREEN
now: but it is changing in character, and becomes a map of the moon photographed from a satellite… the familiar pitted circle. At the same time is heard the low tone of the
TELEVISION VOICE
,
too low to admit comprehension. The picture changes to a close up of the moon's surface
.
We are watching a television programme about something that has happened on the moon.
The picture changes several times—an astronaut, a rocket, a moon-vehicle, etc.
The television set in the bedroom is on
.
DOTTY
is standing in the Bedroom. She hasn't moved at all. She is dressed in a blood-stained party frock, holding up a corpse dressed in yellow trousers and singlet. She is composed, looking about her, clearly trying to decide what to do with the body.
In the
STUDY, GEORGE
is working at the desk, adding to a pile of manuscript.
The front door opens
,
CROUCH
enters, using a master key. He is not wearing the white coat now, but a grey overall as worn by janitors. He is limping slightly. He is singing quietly to himself
… ‘Gonna make a sentimental journey… gonna put my heart at ease… gonna take a sentimental journey…'
DOTTY
has heard him. She turns down the sound of the TV, using the remote control device
.)

DOTTY
: Darling!…

CROUCH
: It's Crouch, Madam.
CROUCH
continues and exits to kitchen
.
DOTTY
sits down on the bed, the corpse slumped over her knees. She glances at the TV. She turns up the volume
.)

TV VOICE
: —in a tight spot. And so in the crippled space capsule, Captain Scott is on his way back to earth, the first Englishman to reach the moon, but his triumph will be overshadowed by the memory of Astronaut Oates, a tiny receding figure waving forlornly from the featureless wastes of the lunar landscape.
(
DOTTY
changes the channel.
On the
SCREEN
:
a big Procession in the streets of London, military in tone (brass band music) but celebratory: for five seconds
.
DOTTY
changes the channel.
A commercial: for three seconds
.
DOTTY
changes the channel.
The Moon Programme again
.)
—which followed the discovery that the damage on impact had severely reduced the thrust of the rockets that are fired for take-off. Millions of viewers saw the two astronauts struggling at the foot of the ladder until Oates was knocked to the ground by his commanding officer…. Captain Scott has maintained radio silence since pulling up the ladder and closing the hatch with the remark, ‘I am going up now. I may be gone for some time.'
(
DOTTY
changes channel. The Procession on Screen. Military music. She looks gloomily, helplessly at the corpse. She notes the blood on her dress. She takes the dress off
.
CROUCH
enters from the Kitchen, carrying a bin of rubbish and several empty champagne bottles
.
DOTTY
hears the kitchen door. She turns the TV sound down low
.)

DOTTY
: What time is it, Crouch?

CROUCH
: Nearly nine o'clock, Madam.
(
CROUCH
leaves by the Front Door as the
SECRETARY
enters. The
SECRETARY
hurries in, in the act of taking off her overcoat and hat
.
CROUCH
lets himself out, closing the Front Door. The
SECRETARY
enters the Study, closes the door behind her, hangs up her hat and coat on a hook on the downstage side of the wardrobe, sits down at her desk, and arranges her notebook and pencil
.
GEORGE
has continued to write without looking up
.)