Authors: Mary Crawford
“I guess, I never really thought about it—” I start to explain.
“Exactly!” Heather interrupts. “Geez, Tyler, way to respect my career and all that. I could understand remarks like that if you’d never eaten my food. But since you have, I’m going to take it as the complete dis that you meant it to be,” she says, sarcasm dripping from every syllable.
Sometimes I’m slower than a rodeo clown who has been kicked in the head far too many times. I know Gidget’s a really good cook. Her passion for cooking is one of the first things I noticed about her. I didn’t mean any disrespect, but sometimes my brain doesn’t work quite as fast as my mouth. I’m not sure how to explain all my mental stumbles to her without getting into my whole life story, which she doesn’t need to know in the next five minutes. Crap. How do I get myself into these fixes?
“I’m sorry, Gidget, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I’m trying to be helpful and take some of the pressure off of you because I know all of this is stressful. I thought maybe all of you bakeries trade jobs if you have emergencies or something.”
“It may work that way for the big guys, but doesn’t work that way for me. Food trucks may be the up-and-coming thing, but people still don’t see them as truly respectable places to get quality food—especially high-end things like wedding cakes. I have to fight to get every customer. Even if it weren't a despicable business practice to dump a bride at the last minute, I couldn’t afford to lose her as a customer. I need each one, and I need the word-of-mouth every satisfied customer brings.”
I look around the cramped food truck as I ask, “Do you bake wedding cakes in here?”
Heather smirks as she replies, “Now, that would be quite the talent, wouldn’t it? No. I rent a commercial kitchen when I need to bake a large cake. But I do most of my sugar work in the truck. Can you please do your best to protect as many of these leaves and petals as you can? I’d rather you didn’t get fingerprint dust all over them. It took me days to get them finished, and I’m not sure I’ll have time for new ones to dry.”
“Heather, I won’t make any promises. I can’t compromise the scene to save your flowers. I won’t destroy anything I don’t have to. However, now that we found bullet casings, I will have to bring the full forensic evidence team in to go over your truck. I have a forensic background because I’ve worked as an MP, but you want more than just my basic background on this, trust me. We want to catch this guy.”
“Okay, I get that. But, can’t I at least stay and watch? If I did, I would be able to tell you if you’re about to destroy something really important. I don’t think you understand the deadline I’m on here. It’s not like my client can just postpone her whole wedding because I’m running a little late on her cake. I’ll be as quiet as a church mouse.”
I have to let out a breath of exasperation. Generally speaking, I’m a pretty laid back guy. Six years in the military and two years as a reserve officer with the Sheriff’s office has taught me to roll with the punches. But, for reasons that I haven’t quite figured out, Gidget always finds a way to get under my skin like a burr under a horse’s saddle. She’s a beautiful little spitfire who has no idea the effect she has on me. She’s got enough sass in her to fill two people, but she also has the kindest heart I’ve ever seen. We had one of the most clichéd meetings ever since she is the best friend of my best friend’s wife. Regrettably, she seems far less impressed with me than I am with her. I’m working on that. But my progress has been painfully slow. Most days, it seems she can’t stand to be in the same zip code as me. This little fiasco certainly isn’t going to help matters.
Unfortunately, I’m not here to be her friend. I have a job to do. So I have to literally and figuratively put my Sheriff’s hat on. “I’m sorry, Miss LaBianca. I’m going to have to evacuate you from the premises for your safety. Additionally, we have to sweep this location for evidence. All efforts will be taken to disturb as little of your personal effects as possible,” I state in my best detached police-academy-trained voice.
Much to my surprise, Heather reels back as if I’ve physically slapped her. All the animation in her face suddenly disappears, and an eerie formalness settles over her as she primly replies, “Yes sir, Officer Colton. Just let me grab my purse and car keys, or are those considered evidence as well?”
“I don’t know. Were they in your food truck at the time the vandalism occurred?” I ask, pulling my notepad out to write down her statement.
“No, I had those with me. I just went to the craft store to get some more floral wire. When I came back, the truck was like this. I don’t even know who knew I had the truck in the area. I just parked here to help out because Mindy has a few days off from school. Yet, this is the second time it’s been vandalized when I parked it here. Maybe somebody doesn’t want me to work in this area,” she responds with a defeated sigh. It breaks my heart to see her this way.
If you were to look up the word optimist in the dictionary, Heather’s picture would be prominently plastered there. She is a glass half full kind of gal. Wait, I take that back. She’s a great cheerleader for everyone
else.
When it comes to promoting
her
strengths, she’s far more critical. I’ve tried to toss her a few compliments over the last few months, and she’s either rejected them outright or deflected them with a joke that she’s usually made herself the butt of.
“Well, if you brought them in, then they aren’t considered part of the crime scene. Can you show me where you walked and what you touched before you noticed something was amiss?”
“Oh for Pete’s sake, Ty! I’m
not
an idiot,” she says as she rolls her eyes and blows a curl out of her eye. It’s the first time I haven’t seen her dressed to the nines. She’s wearing a retro bowling shirt that has ‘Earl’ emblazoned on the breast pocket and she’s wearing a pair of well-worn Levis with a patch made from a bandanna on the butt. Her hair is tied back with a matching one. It all works except her high heels. Those, I don’t understand at all. Why do women do that to themselves? Sure, they’re sexy sometimes but does an arts and craft session on a Sunday morning call for risking a sprained ankle?
Heather catches me scoping out her choice in footwear. “What? Jeff’s demon dog, Lucky, ate my tennis shoes. It’s not like I had a whole lot of choice this morning,” she explains.
I chuckle as I reply, “I feel your pain. When I house sat for Jeff and Kiera, Lucky got my favorite pair of boots. I think the real reason he flunked out of bomb detection school doesn’t have anything to do with his alleged hearing issues. I think it’s his appetite for contraband.”
Heather flashes me a small smile as she agrees, “I think they just fudged his service record so he’d get adopted right away. He’s like a serial shoe killer. Speaking of killers,” she segues gently into the next topic, “like I told you, I am not an idiot. I watch enough
Forensic Files
and
The First 48
to know I’m not supposed to touch anything. The second I noticed something was awry, I went out to my car and called 911. Voilà, here you are interrogating me like I’m some criminal.”
Wearily, I scrub my hand over my face. “Look, Gidget, I mean, Ms. LaBianca, this isn’t personal. For us to catch this person, I have to do things by the book, even if it means inconveniencing you. I know you’re not an idiot, I never meant to suggest you were. Still, I have to document what happened, for the file. Little things like whether or not your purse was present can make a big difference in how the scene is processed. If you were sitting in your truck when shots were fired at it, we would be having a whole different conversation. I’m simply trying to protect you,” I clarify, trying not to let my frustration show.
Heather meets me toe to toe and verbally pushes back, “Maybe I can take care of myself, and I don’t need you to protect me!”
“All evidence to the contrary, Darlin’. Now, are you going to do what I asked you to do—like half an hour ago—and go sit in my squad car, or do I have to arrest you?” I ask, with a little tilt of my hat.
Once again, Heather’s spine straightens out as if a rod is being placed through it, and her speech becomes clipped and frosty as she asks, “Fine, no need to be pushy. But would it be okay with you if I take some supplies from the cupboards?”
I ponder her suggestion for a moment and then shrug as I reply, “I don’t see why not. Let me make a log of what you’re going to take just to be sure.”
Heather rolls her eyes at me again as she comments under her breath, “How nice of you to give me access to things I already own. There's your crime-fighting dollars at work, America.”
“Hey now!” I protest. “That was a low blow. I don’t tell you how to do your job, please don’t tell me how to do mine.”
“Well, Cowboy, it just so happens, I don’t like big strong men telling me what to do, and I don’t like being treated like I’m an idiot,” Heather argues.
“For the record, I wasn’t treating you like you’re an idiot. Nothing could be further from the truth,” I reply, my voice rough with emotion. This conversation is hitting more hot buttons than she could ever imagine. However, I can’t take the time to explain them to her right now. Right now, she needs to get the hell out of here. For all I know, there is still a shooter at large. She needs to get her pretty little butt out of the picture. “I’m sorry I don’t have time for a long, drawn-out debate over this, but I’ll say it once again. Heather, please—for your safety—get into my car so that I don’t have to worry about you. If I have to worry about you, I’m not watching my own back, and it makes it more dangerous for me.”
“Why didn’t you just tell me that in the beginning?” Heather replies. “I don’t want to do anything to put you at risk.” She silently picks up her purse, and her keys. She regally walks over to my squad car and gracefully climbs inside as if it’s something she does every day.
I shake my head in disbelief. That's classic Heather. She’ll balk at anything designed for her well-being, but if it’s to benefit someone else, she’s on it faster than ticks on a wet dog. I radio the call into headquarters and go to the trunk of my car to get my thermos.
“You want some coffee? It’s cold out here,” I offer, handing her the metal lid of the thermos.
She nods as she says, “Thank you, that’s sweet of you.”
She takes a tentative sip and wrinkles her nose at the bitter taste. “I take it back. What is this? A new interrogation technique? Who taught you to make coffee? Just a small chef’s secret...you shouldn’t be able to chew your coffee. The next time we’re together, I’ll teach you to make a decent cup.”
“Wow! Way to be grateful—” I tease, but then I take a sip of my coffee, and I have to admit that she’s got a point. It’s beyond terrible. “I’ll have you know, Uncle Sam taught me to make coffee. You can blame it all on him. The swill doesn’t have to be good; it just has to keep you awake and alert. I guess I just never got out of the habit of making it that way. You don’t have to drink it if you don’t want to.”
“No,” Heather replies after she takes another sip. “It’s not so bad after you know what to expect. I’ll need the extra caffeine anyway. It’s going to be a long night for me. I have a hunch I’m going to be making flowers—lots and lots of flowers. After drinking this ... um ... coffee, I’ll be up for three days straight. It’s a win-win for everybody.” Heather shoots me her trademark smile, complete with dimples.
Before I can say anything else, the evidence van pulls up into the driveway. I’m relieved when I see who the technicians are. Javier is one of the best guys we’ve got on latent fingerprints and ballistics, and he takes some of the clearest pictures in the business. If this ever goes to court, the evidence will be rock solid.
As the forensic team starts to walk up to the house, I hear Javier call out to Heather, “Hey Miss H. How are things in your world?”
For some reason, his casual familiarity with Heather raises my hackles. He’s already got the perfect family at home. What more does he want? But then I remember back to the day that we all met. It was an unforgettable day to be sure. There was a big verbal dust-up with Jeff’s soon-to-be stepfather.
No one got hurt, but I did assist in the arrest that would ultimately lead to the unraveling of Jeff’s family life, as he knew it. Surprisingly, Jeff seems totally okay with the outcome. At the time, though, it was plenty dramatic. It totally slipped my mind that Javier had also been there.
Heather’s eyes light up when she sees Javier. “Javier!” She exclaims. “I haven’t seen you since move in day. Mindy loves her new computer, by the way, in case Kiera somehow forgot to tell you. Thank you so much for such a thoughtful gift. Mindy’s been researching things left and right. She has never been the same,” Heather explains.
Javier’s face lights up like a Christmas tree as he replies, “Good! I’m so glad somebody could use my daughter’s old computer equipment. Otherwise, it would’ve still been in the corner of our storage unit. What are we doing out here today?” Javier asks looking around.
Before I can launch into my clinical explanation of what happened, Heather thrusts some random pieces of paper into his hand.
“What’s this, Miss Heather?” Javier asks.
“It’s just some notes that I took throughout the day as all this was happening,” Heather explains, with a small shrug.
“You’ve been taking real-time notes and this is the first time you’ve bothered to mention them to me?” I ask, overwhelming fatigue suddenly seeping into my bones.
“Well, yes,” she explains patiently. “But you never bothered to ask because you were too busy assuming I am the world’s biggest bimbo. I figured the small details might be important, so I started writing them down as soon as I noticed the break-in.”
Something about the way she matter-of-factly describes the way I dismissed her opinion tells me that it happens to her quite a bit. I want to kick myself in the head for being so stupid.
“You’re right. I should have asked you what you did next instead of assuming,” I admit, as I dig around in my gear bag for evidence markers. Suddenly, today is feeling like the world’s longest day. I really wish someone else would have caught this call— it would have been a whole heckuva lot less complicated.