Jaq With a Q (Kismet) (23 page)

“I want to bring in some sand. Make a beach down by the lake, but I wanted to talk to you first.”

“Talk to me? Why do you need to talk to me?”

“Because we’re a team, Jaq. I don’t care about that book. I’ll burn the fucker if that makes you happy.”

Jaq’s shoulders slumped and her eyes drifted to her bowl. “I thought it was a journal when I saw my name on it. I thought I was going to fall more in love with you. It hurt my feelings. Subject awake had anxiety attack over rash. Subject locks self in bathroom after dark. Subject has another disease. I’m nothing more than an incomplete sentence to you. I sort of hate you right now.”

I lifted her chin with one finger, forcing her to look at me. “I’m sorry, Jaq. I’m so sorry, baby.”

“Is there anything else you’d like to share with me?”

“Like what?”

Jaq shrugged both shoulders and turned her chin from my hand. “I don’t know. Just thought maybe you’d like to get it all out there while we were here in this space and time.”

“I’m—I’m good.”

“Great. I’m going to lay down, I don’t feel well.”

A little stunned, I watched her walk away. “Can I help?”

“I’m good, and it’s your house. You can do whatever you want here, but just so you know, you won’t be seeing me in a bikini laying on your beach. Night.”

Chapter Twenty-One

It took four whole days of trying to get Jaq back to a good place and it wasn’t pretty. I hated the silent treatment from her. Especially when she had a thousand words for Cleo and Leo, but not me. I got short, one word answers, eye rolls, and dirty looks. She pulled away from me when I tried to touch her, rolled to the far side of the bed when I joined her, spent a lot of time outside by herself. When I would ask her if she wanted company, she told me no. She wanted to be alone.

She left me just after nine for the fourth night in a row to go to bed without me. We never went to bed that early. This was all because she was still pouting over the notebook that had nothing to do with the way I felt about her. And truth be told, I was sick of it.

I tried to give her space and occupy mine with a beer, a book, and a magnificent view. Unfortunately, it didn’t help. The quantum theory book I used to redirect my attention was the same as any other one I had read, just a different take. With a deep breath and a long drink, I stood to go after her, only she wasn’t in bed. A quick glance in the bathroom caused my frown to grow even more and my heart to pick up a few extra beats. Wherever she was, the dogs were with her. That made me feel a little better.

I called out to the door off from our room first, with no answer. My heart raced when I saw the crack in the front door, but relaxed when I saw her.

She was standing on what was left of the foundation. Where my dad had taken his last breath, the desperation for her to talk to me replaced with…anger?

“What are you doing?” I questioned, unable to hide my anxiety.

Jaq looked up to me and raised her arms. Her shirt rose and her ripped, boy jeans slid down her hips. “I think he was standing right here.”

For a second I thought she had left Kansas again. “Who?”

“Your dad. I see you zoning out to this space all the time. I think you’re thinking about it.”

“What are you doing?”

“Do you know why I was even in there, Ollie?”

“In where?”

“The other room?”

“What other room?”

“The other bedroom. Where I found the text book.”

“It’s not a text book.”

“I was looking for the pump for the air mattress. I wasn’t snooping. The corner was sticking out.”

“Okay.”

Jaq stepped up to the little ledge, a slab of concrete left from the destruction. “Don’t you want to know why I wanted the pump?”

I watched her balance herself on the ledge as I slowly walked down the steps toward her. “Why?”

“I wanted you to see something different when you looked out here.”

I kept walking, wondering where she was going with all this, closing the distance between us. “Like what?”

“I wanted to surprise you with it. Right here.”

The ledge caused her to be the exact same height as me, our eyes in perfect alignment. “How?” I questioned, my arms wrapping around her body.

Jaq placed her arms around my neck, sadness in her tone. “I wanted to put it right here and make a new memory with you below the stars. So you would think about something else, something that made you happy and not sad, but I don’t know if that’s me, Ollie.”

“What do you mean? You make me happy. You’re the only thing that makes me happy.”

“What if another subject comes along? What if you get bored with me, too? Like you did all your other jobs.”

I grabbed her face and kissed her hard. “You’re not a fucking subject. I fucking love you and I’m never going to get bored with you. Why can’t you see that?”

“I’m scared. I don’t deserve this; I don’t deserve you. I feel like it’s all going to go away. Like this isn’t my life.”

“Why, Jaq? Because you’re learning how to live, how to love? This is your life. This is your home and I’m going to do my best to make you happy, every single day. How many times do I have to tell you? I’m the lucky one here.”

“Then marry me.”

Well, that wasn’t what I had expected. Silence and a sudden need to swallow was all I had.

“See, you don’t want to because you don’t want me. You’re just playing with me.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay. Let’s get married.”

“What?”

“Let’s get married but you’re not asking me. I have to do it. Hang on. Don’t move from this spot.”

“Ollie.”

I ignored the call, ordering her to stay, having no clue what I was even looking for. A ring. Anything I could use for a ring. First, I searched a junk drawer in my childhood room, finding only the plastic part of a ring pop. I held it around my pinky finger, hoping to find something a little more appealing in the kitchen. This was well planned…The only thing remotely cute I could come up with was a Hershey’s Kiss. Digging through the bag, I grabbed a silver one and shoved the little plastic rod through the middle.

Walking back to her, I hid my surprise behind my back, trying to hide a laugh. I knelt on one knee in front of her and looked up. “Don’t laugh and don’t eat it. I swear I’ll buy you a real ring. This is about as creative as I get. I love you, Jaq, and I want to do that for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?”

“Ouch,” she said, her smile still there even after I pinched her with what was left of the ring pop.

“Sorry.”

“You don’t have to do this, Oliver.”

“Will you stop with the pity-party? I’m not doing it because I have to. I’m doing it because I love you, and I can’t see me without you, ever. If this is what it takes to get you to see that I’m never letting you go, then that’s what I want to do. Will you marry me or not?”

“For real?”

I smiled and stood, holding her close, assuring her that I meant it. “For real.”

“That’s a good memory for here, right?”

A warm sensation touched my chest and I nodded, sure I’d never see this spot the same again. I kissed her for the first time in four days. Besides the quick little pecks I had managed to sneak in here and there, she hadn’t let me kiss her at all. Not like this. The explosives I heard were exactly like they were the last time I heard them, only this time they were grand, full of love and emotions.

“We could still do the air mattress memory, too,” she panted, her chin raising from my lips.

I pulled away with a little too much excitement. “You’re done?”

Jaq laughed, her lips falling onto mine. “I was done yesterday.”

Without another word, I scooped her up and carried her inside. We’d create that memory another time. I didn’t want to mess with the air mattress or anything else. My lips didn’t leave hers until her feet were on the floor and the door was closed behind me. A silence surrounded us momentarily, our eyes stuck in a trance, seeing only each other.

“Take your clothes off.”

Her eyes twitched a little, like she thought about it for second. “I can’t with you watching.”

“Yes, you can. Do it.”

“No, go in the bathroom and come back. I’ll hurry.”

I walked around her body, letting my hands glide down both her arms, my lips closing in on her neck with soft words to her skin. “I want to watch you.”

“Ollie, I can’t do that. Please don’t make me.”

“It’s me, baby. Nobody but me. I’ll help you, okay?”

A heavy sigh was followed by a dreading, “Okay.”

I sucked hard on her neck and let go, leaving her alone in the middle of the floor, plopping to the bed.

“What are you doing? I thought you were going to help.”

“I am. Take your shirt off.”

“That’s not helping.”

“It is. I’m going to tell you what to do.”

“Ollie.”

“Take your shirt off, Jaq. Now,” I said with enough sternness for her to know I meant it, but not enough to scare her.

She hesitated, taking a few tries to talk herself into it before doing it. It wasn’t slow and sexy like I had envisioned, but this was the sort of thing I loved about teaching her. Some day she would be sensual on purpose. Watching her struggle to be good for me was no doubt just as rewarding as when that day came.

“You’re so pretty. Take your bra off.”

Again, it was swift, her arms folding quickly over her chest.

“Move your arms and let me look at you.”

“I don’t want to.”

“I’ll do it with you,” I suggested, my own shirt being tossed over my head. “Take your jeans off.”

“But that’s not fair. You’re not the one with the problem.”

“You’re making it a problem. Put your arms down and take off your jeans.”

Of course, I wasn’t shy about it. Just looking at her made me hard, but I did let her off the hook and pulled her to me. She fit perfectly everywhere around me, under me, on top of me, by my side, in my house, in my lake, in my yard, in my life, in my mind. I loved her and if marrying her made her feel more secure, then I would make that happen for her. For me. For us.

“Ollie,” she spoke, her fingers running up the back of my neck and through my hair.

“Hmmm?” I mumbled to her neck, soft kisses trailing along her tender skin.

“You would really do it? Marry me?”

I raised my eyes to hers and kissed her nose, wearing a smile. “I’m going to do it. I’m not going to let you out of my life ever. I love you. I love you. I love you. What do I have to do to get you to understand that?”

“I’m sorry. I just never thought this could happen to me. I feel like it’s not real and it’s all going to end. I couldn’t go back there, Ollie. I couldn’t.”

“You’re not going to. We’re going to live here forever. You, me, and all these animals.”

“And maybe a baby.”

I sidestepped that one, too. My knee shoved out on her leg, spreading her more, ready to get her mind on something else. Not babies. Jesus Christ. “Maybe someday,” I offered, hoping it was enough to pacify her…again.

Jaq squeezed her legs together, placing both hands on my shoulders to stop me. “Wait.”

I frowned, the head of my dick right there, dying to slide inside her. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I—I just.”

“What, Jaq? Say it.”

Her eyes looked up as she took in a long breath of air and spit it out. Sort of. “I wanted you to, you know.”

Even though I pretended to have no idea what she was speaking of, I knew. My dick knew. I swear my cock grew another inch just thinking about it. “Hmmm, no. I don’t know. What?”

“Oliver.”

“Tell me. What do you want?”

“Nothing, just put it in.”

“Uh-uh. Tell me what you want, Jaq.”

Jaq covered her face, her request muffled behind her hands. “Go down on me.”

Hiding a laugh wasn’t easy. God, I loved her so much. I moved one hand from her face and kissed the corner of her lip. “What’s that?”

“I hate you.”

I teased her with kisses and taunting words. “Did I hear you say you wanted me to lick your pussy?”

“And you hate me, too.”

That laugh was inevitable. “I don’t hate you. I just like seeing you blush. It makes my dick hard.”

“Everything makes it hard, soooo...”

Another expected laugh to her lips and a request I would never talk her into. “Sit on my face.”

Her hands covered her face again, but I moved them, pinning both of them above her head while my lips tried to talk her into it. My tongue parted her lips and I dove in and out, moving to her jawline, her ear, her collarbone, soft words to her skin. “It’ll feel good. I promise.”

Jaq panted, her body twisting into mine. “I don’t doubt it.”

My lips smiled around her nipple as I sucked it between my lips, my teeth sinking while my tongue flicked it. Euphoric desire passed between us, her body possessed with passion, begging to feel something. With me. Surrendering. To me. Wild and untamed. For me. My fingers slid between her legs, sliding her wetness through her slit, a dead giveaway to her increased libido. Her hips thrust into my fingers and her lips parted for my tongue again.

“Sit on my face, Jaq.”

A sort of grunt fell from her chest, the sound granting, and I took my chance. I rolled to my back, taking her with me in one swift move, leaving her straddling my waist. One little move and I could have been inside her, but I didn’t want it to be over that fast. Instead, I coaxed her up my body, a carrot dangling in front of her. My middle finger danced off her clit, waited for her hips to move, and then stopped. “Come up here.”

She mumbled a no, but her hips moved and her knees walked a little closer. Playing a cat and mouse game with my finger and her pussy, I coaxed her up to my mouth, sliding down to help with the last couple inches. Her hands stayed over her eyes, but not for long. It couldn’t have been more than three long strokes when her hand grasped my hair, stopping me where she wanted me, her hips dancing off my tongue. My lips enclosed her clit and I sucked, in and out, hard and desperate, tasting her desire.