Authors: Adriana Noir
“Like what?” she asked, both tone and voice sullen.
Sebastian raised an eyebrow at her scowling pout. Creeping lower, he planted tender kisses against her abdomen and cradled the small, hard swell below her belly button between his hands. His eyes sparkled as he lifted his gaze to hers.
“Our little bobble-head needs a name.”
For the moment, he looked so proud…so content, that she couldn’t help but play into his hand. She laughed, squirming slightly as he murmured something against her belly making his breath fan her and the low timbre of his voice vibrate against her skin. Snaring her hips, he stilled her wiggling just long enough to nuzzle the inside of her thigh.
“What do you think of Sophia for a girl?” she asked, sucking in a sharp inhale when he ran his tongue over the crease of her leg.
“Mm. It’s beautiful. I love it.” Lifting his head, he flashed a boyish grin. “But you’re going the wrong way. Girl names aren’t necessary, darling. I’ve told you this.”
Letting her head drop back against the pillows, Taylor rolled her eyes. “Fine. Let’s hear what you have for the boys.”
“You first,” he mumbled, rearing up to kiss her stomach before settling back down between her thighs.
“I like Samuel or Daniel.”
She couldn’t help but laugh at his blatant grimace.
“No.”
“Benjamin?”
His eyebrow crept higher. One corner of his mouth twisted, and Sebastian shook his head.
“Fine. Cleatis it is.”
Despite her efforts, she couldn’t keep a straight face when she caught sight of his expression. Shocked and sour didn’t begin to cover it. Biting her lip, she still burst into laughter.
“Are you trying to get our kid beat up?” he asked, giving a dejected shake of his head.
“You know I was joking.”
He hooked her legs over his shoulders and met her eyes. “I don’t know. I truly do wonder about you sometimes.”
“Well, what are your bright ideas, handsome? You seem so intent on shooting mine down. What do you have in mind?”
Sebastian shrugged, his countenance already shifting to one of hunger as he trailed a finger over her clit. “I like strong names, powerful names, something like Xander or Knox.”
She pondered that, weighing them. “I like Xander,” she admitted.
“Good. That settles it then. Sophie for a girl and Xander for a boy. Now we can focus on other things.”
“Such as?”
His chuckle was low and raspy as it washed over her. “You know full well what, darling,” he warned, lowering his head.
~*~*~*~
Taylor tried to focus on the scenery as it rolled by, but her mind was spinning and her stomach was full of a cold and uneasy dread. It should have been a happy time. Their bags were tucked away in the trunk, and in a few short hours, they would be boarding a plane for Hawaii. She’d always wanted to see the ocean. She’d daydreamed numerous times about burrowing her toes into hot, white sand and tried to imagine what the warm, salty wind would smell like as it buffeted her face and whipped through her hair. She should be ecstatic. It was a dream vacation, made even better by taking it with the man she loved, but a heavy pall hung over the day, casting her dreams into shadows. The clouds hanging over her were filled with a darkness and despair so intense it threatened her sanity and made her heart ache.
She couldn’t bear the thought of leaving Sebastian. The mere notion left her empty and shattered. Their life together hadn’t been easy. The challenges they’d faced seemed to grow more numerous and difficult by the day, but those struggles had bound them together in a way that could never be undone. He was her heart, her life, the very air she breathed and it killed her to know in a few short days, that could all be gone.
He’d held her for most of the night, promising to end things and come back for her as soon as he could. They’d fantasized about the life they would lead then. A life where they would be free to live, laugh, and love as hard and as often as they chose. He’d shared his hopes and dreams for the future. Twining his fingers through hers, he’d talked of a new SKALS, one where the men could live without Marx dictating their every move and action, and by the end of the night, he’d lulled her to sleep by promising her a wedding on the white, sandy shores of Hawaii.
Twisting the diamond and platinum ring on her finger, she smiled, thinking of the promises and vows they were going to exchange. It wouldn’t be official in the eyes of the law, but it would be something. Something for them to hold on to in the days and weeks to come. A beautiful culmination of the love they’d fought so hard to keep and sustain.
Reaching over, Sebastian squeezed her hand. Her eyes locked on the restaurant and she had to clamp them shut to keep the tears from falling as the lyrics from Ross Copperman’s
Holding on and Letting Go
drifted from the speakers and hit her.
Don’t know if we’ll make it, but we know we just can’t let it show.
It’s everything you wanted. It’s everything you don’t.
It’s one door swinging open and one door swinging closed.
Some prayers find an answer. Some prayers never know.
We’re holding on and letting go…
She tried. She tried so hard, but she couldn’t hold back the sob that pushed past her lips. Sebastian finished parking the car, shut it off, and pulled her into his arms. Hugging her over the center console, he cradled her against him and brushed a kiss across her temple.
“Shhh, baby. Don’t. Don’t cry.”
“I don’t want to leave.”
“I know, baby. I know,” he murmured, his voice breaking beneath the strain.
“Let’s just go. Just take me to the airport…please.”
Pulling back some, he cradled her face between his hands and stroked his thumbs over the tears coating her cheeks. “Nothing is set in stone. Let’s just hear what they have to say.” He kissed her forehead. When he eased back, his eyes met hers, his stare tender and probing. “Only one thing is for certain. This isn’t the end. It’s just a stepping stone, baby. I will always be with you, Taylor. I will always be by your side. Every day is the first day of the rest of our lives.”
“You and me, Sebby.”
The pain on his face lessened some with his smile and he tugged her forward to rest her forehead against his. “Always.”
She drew a deep, shuddering breath into her lungs and released it slowly, trying to draw strength from his words. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, Taylor. So much. Never doubt that.”
She nodded. As much as the prospect of possibly leaving killed her, she would do this. It would break her heart, but she would do what she needed and be strong, if for no other reason than to give him some peace of mind and free his hands up to do what needed done. He had a job to do, and hers was to stand by him and support the choices he had to make.
“Okay,” she finally mustered. “But if I do this, and I have to go away, I expect the nursery done when I come back.”
His dimples deepened with his grin and the inside of the car filled with his husky laugh. “Light green and jungle theme it is.”
“Or silver and moon and stars if it’s a girl.”
“Mm hm,” he agreed. “But it’s not going to come to that. Now come on. We’re already late.”
The familiar argument brought her comfort. Nudging his arm, she rolled her eyes and unhooked her seat belt. By the time she’d finished and got her purse, Sebastian had already exited the Benz and approached her side of the car. He pulled the door open, extended a hand to help her out, and tucked her beneath the protective shield of his arm. The small family restaurant loomed in front of them and her shoes suddenly felt as if they’d been filled with lead. Giving her shoulders a reassuring squeeze, Sebastian scanned the streets and assessed their surroundings before leading her across the street. Her breath faltered and her pulse quickened but this was it. There was no going back now. It was time to learn her fate.
~*~*~*~
Sebastian watched Taylor from the corner of his eye. Other than greeting Jack and ordering, she hadn’t said much since they sat down. She was trying hard to be strong, but dark bruise-like shadows cupped her eyes and there was a deep-seeded sorrow to her that even her whimsical smile couldn’t ease or erase. He shook his head and dragged a hand through his hair. This was by far the hardest decision he’d ever had to make. She paled a bit and his brow furrowed, wondering if it was nerves or the heady combination of coffee and deep-fried comfort foods hanging in the air that made her look so ill.
Across the table, Jack looked on in silence, his expression grim and apologetic as he studied them over the rim of his mug. Taylor slumped lower and passed the time by picking at the lettuce on her turkey club.
“I’m sorry about the way things panned out,” Jack offered.
Sebastian pinned him with a long stare. “As am I. We wouldn’t be having this conversation if your men had succeeded.”
“We did the best we could, Baas.”
“Your second attempt damn near killed me and took out six of my men. Don’t sit there looking at me as if you expect a pat on the back.”
Jack took a long sip of coffee and nodded at the waitress when she stopped to offer a refill. His whiskey eyes lit when the pretty brunette topped off his mug and plied him with a smile, but the years and hardness etching his face returned the minute she left. Leaning back, he stretched his arms across the top of the padded booth.
“I don’t know how many times I need to say it, Sebastian, but that helicopter strike wasn’t our doing.”
“Right,” he replied bitterly. “I don’t care if it was the FBI, the CIA, NSA or a preemptive military strike. As far as I’m concerned, you’re all rolling around in the same bed. What I want to know is what you are going to do to remedy the mess you’ve made. Marx is oblivious to the toes he’s been trampling. He only has one suspect in mind at this point and that person is me.”
Taylor’s wide grey stare swung up from her plate. Seeing the terror and uncertainty streak across her face, he reached beneath the worn Formica table and captured her fingers in a reassuring squeeze.
“I had one request, Baas. One. Yet I still don’t have it in my hands.”
“You will have it in a few more days. I promise you that.”
Glancing in Taylor’s direction, the Federal Agent flushed and lifted his shoulders in an apologetic shrug. “I can’t move forward until I get what I asked for, Sebastian. I could trust the man I met eight years ago, but a lot of time has passed since then. When you are ready to deliver, we will make an exchange.”
His eyes narrowed and the familiar bristle of anger crept across his skin. He was about to tear into the man for deliberately putting him at risk and wasting his time when a brief flicker of movement drew his attention across the street. Craning to the side, he tried to get a better view of the man settling against the row of glass storefronts. He regretted it the moment his line of sight opened. The gaunt, hollowed out cheeks and long, beaky nose were features he’d come to know all too well. His chest tightened as he swung his accusing glare in Jack’s direction.
“Is something wrong?” the agent asked.
“Yes, Jack, there is. What
he
is doing here?”
The older gentleman smiled. “Who Frank? Relax. He’s just keeping an eye on things. Much the same way you have security and one of your men making sure none of this goes too far.”
Releasing Taylor’s hand, he cracked the knuckles on his thumbs. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise to know the Feds were aware of Jackson and Rupert, but that didn’t mean he liked it. He liked the Sleepy Hollow looking fucker across the street even less—a fact he wasn’t willing to contain.
“That man has taken pictures and followed me from one end of the city to the next for months. He threatened my agency and my family, and you’re telling me you are the one who’s behind it?”
“We needed to locate you, Sebastian, and to try to get a feel where you stood. Frank Burrell doesn’t work for us. Much like yourself, he’s a private contractor. His job wasn’t to eliminate you. Merely to keep tabs and let you know the game was up.”
To say he was annoyed was an understatement. He had half a mind to lunge across the table and plant his fork in Jack’s jugular, bodyguards and backup be damned. His fingers curled around the handle, and he was leaning toward doing just that when the door burst open.
Jackson’s smoky silver eyes were wide and wild, the look on his face one of sheer panic. Josh burst through the doors right behind him, forcing Sebastian to his feet. Out of sheer instinct alone, he grabbed Taylor’s wrist, ripping her out of the booth with him. A loud, static voice erupted over Jack’s radio, and he spun, trying to gauge the agent’s face and reaction. Everything was happening too fast.
Taylor cried out. He whirled at the sound, but a hard spear to his midsection drove the air from his lungs and brought him up short. The momentum thrust him back and, afraid of hauling Taylor down with him, he let go. That one split second was all it took.
“GET DOWN!”
Jackson’s frantic shout died beneath a deafening explosion of thunder. The building blew inward in a devastating fireball filled with brick, twisted metal and glass. The flash was blinding, the percussion violent enough to send him and Jackson airborne. Everything brightened, his skin blistered and scorched from the sudden blast of heat. They landed several feet away and another flash detonated in front of Sebastian’s eyes as his skull bounced off the floor.
Seconds passed maybe more. Jackson lay stretched above him, his body limp and unmoving. Thick plumes of smoke and dust rolled through the decimated building and sparks flew from the ravaged lighting system overhead. Shoving his teammate off him, Sebastian rolled away and coughed, struggling for a decent breath of air. A high-pitched, keening whine droned in his ears, drowning out everything else. It grew louder and more intense when he shook his head in an attempt to clear his doubled vision.
Bodies lay strewn across the floor. Some charred, some buried beneath chunks of rubble. His heart thudded so fast and hard, he was sure he was going to pass out as he scanned the wreckage, searching for any sign of Taylor. Using his forearms, he pulled himself across the floor and dragged himself over the carnage. An agonizing eternity passed before he found her.