In Other Worlds (9 page)

But she was wrong. Nothing would ever make him feel better.

“I'm sorry,” she whispered. “I was just trying to help. But you won't let anyone help you, will you? You'd rather just wallow in self-pity. Fine. I understand. I won't bother you anymore.” Her heart breaking for him, she turned with as much dignity as she could manage and left him to it.

She didn't stop walking until she reached the sitting room. Wishing for an answer that wouldn't come, she curled up into a ball on the couch and bit her lip to hold back the tears. She wouldn't cry.

But inside, she bled for him. Ached for what he'd once been. Even now she could see him laughing and playing games with his sister and brothers.

How she wished she'd known him then.

Suddenly, she felt a hand on her head. Looking up, she found Adron standing beside the couch. His brow was damp with sweat, and she saw the whiteness of his lips as he struggled with his pain while he leaned heavily on his cane.

“I'm sorry,” he said, his voice tense. “I know you were just trying to help. But I passed the point of help a long time ago.” He shifted his weight and winced. “Look, I know about your people and customs, and I know you were raised inside a cage. The last thing you need is to be saddled with a man who can barely walk. Why don't you just go and get your own place and live? I'll be happy to put you on all my accounts. You'll never want for anything.”

It was a generous offer he made. But she couldn't accept it. “I can't do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because I love you.”

FOUR

Adron couldn't have been more stunned if Livia had reached up and slapped him. “You don't even know me.”

“Yes, I do. You try to hide what you are, but I see it. It shines through your bitterness with a brightness not even you can extinguish.”

He scowled at her. “And what am I?”

“You're kind and decent. You have a good heart.”

He snorted at her infantile naïveté. “I have no heart at all. What I have is a mechanical substitute that pumps blood though a broken body, and half the time it malfunctions.”

She rose from the couch.

Adron flinched as she touched him. God, how he wanted to kiss her.

No, he wanted to slide himself deep inside her until he was lost. Until he forgot everything except the peace he'd found there that one night they'd spent together. Was that too much to ask?

She took him by the hand and led him into his media room. “Zarina said that it's painful at times for you to sit, so I thought I'd make a few modifications for you.”

He stared at the new sofa. It was twice the size of his old one and looked more like a small bed. She'd piled pillows up all over it. Girlie pillows that looked out of place with his dark, masculine tones.

Biting back a nasty comment over that, Adron sat down and leaned against the pillows, amazed at just how good it did feel.

Until Livia sat down next to him. His body reacted instantly to her nearness. “You're killing me.”

“I don't want to kill you.” She leaned forward and captured his lips with hers.

Closing his eyes, he savored the taste of her. Over the last month he'd done little except dream of her kiss. Dream of touching her again.

She ran her hands over his body, making him burn even more.

And when she touched his cock through his pants, he cursed. “Livia, stop. I can't make love to you.”

She smiled patiently at him. “That's okay. I'm making love to you.”

He frowned as she started unbuttoning his shirt.

Adron opened his mouth to protest, but then she dipped her head to his neck. He sucked his breath in as her tongue gently laved his skin. And as she nibbled and licked his flesh, she unbuttoned his pants, slid her hand down, and took his swollen cock into her hand.

His head light, he couldn't speak while she caressed him. Couldn't move. All he could do was feel her making love to him . . .

He trembled as she blazed a scorching trail down his chest with her mouth. Slowly, carefully. Her touch blistered him and went so much deeper than his skin.

It touched his soul.

His eyes shuttered, he watched her while she licked and nibbled the flesh of his stomach, and when she took him into her mouth, he thought he'd die from the pleasure of it.

Her dark hair fanned out across his lap as he buried his hand in her soft curls and watched her teasing him.

Adron ground his teeth as her tongue and mouth massaged him from base to tip. She was relentless in her tasting. Never had he felt anything like it. Her actions were so selfless, so kind.

Why would she care?

Why would she do this for him?

Her heartfelt words tore through him. No woman had ever said that to him before.

Only her.

And for his life, he couldn't understand what about him she could possibly find lovable. Or even tolerable, never mind desirable.

The woman was insane.

But she touched him on a level that defied explanation. A level he'd never known before. Throwing his head back against the pillows, he growled as he released himself into her mouth.

Still, she didn't pull away. Not until he was completely weak and spent.

His breathing ragged, he stared at her in awe. “I can't believe you did that for me.”

“I told you, Adron, I love you. I would do anything to make you happy.”

“Then kiss me.”

She did.

Livia moaned as he ran his hand under her shirt and gently squeezed her breast. Bracing her arms on each side of him, she carefully straddled him while making sure not to put any pressure on his chest or abdomen. Theo's warnings had been explicit, and she would never do anything to hurt him.

Adron cupped her head with one hand while he reached around behind her with the other one and released her bra.

“I love the way you feel in my arms,” he whispered against her lips. “I love the way you look when your cheeks are flushed and your eyes bright.”

He skimmed his hand down over her breasts, to her stomach, and then down to where she ached for him. “And I love the way you look when you come for me.” He gave her a tender smile. “You make me feel like a man again, Livia. You make me whole.”

Shamelessly, she rubbed herself against him. And when she came, she cried out from it.

Adron smiled at her then, and held her close.

They spent the rest of the day lying naked in each other's arms, caressing and stroking, and just talking about absolutely nothing important.

It was the best day of Adron's life, and he kept her up until the wee hours of the morning for fear of it ending.

That day was followed by three more days of bliss.

Adron was constantly amazed by the woman fate had miraculously thrown into his life. She was funny, intelligent, and so incredibly giving that it cut him up inside. It pained him to think of her spending the rest of her vivacious life strapped to him as he slowly decayed.

“Hi.”

He looked up from the book he was reading to see her standing in the doorway. Her hair was still damp from her bath, and her eyes glowed mischievously.

“Hi,” he said hesitantly. There was no telling what that look might mean. If he'd learned anything about her, it was to expect the unexpected.

She walked slowly toward the bed. “Would you like to go out for a bit today?”

Yes, he would. More than she'd ever know. But he was in too much pain. Even holding the electronic reader in his hand, which weighed only a few ounces, was hard for him.

“I can't.”

“C'mon, Adron. You told me your therapist said you needed more exercise.”

“Yeah, but not today. My leg's too stiff. Why don't you call Zarina?”

“Because I'd rather be with you.”

The woman was the biggest fool he'd ever known.

She sat down beside him on the bed. “Here.” She placed her hands on his knee.

Adron tensed as warmth from her hands seeped into his leg. After a few seconds, all pain was gone and his knee felt like it had before Kyr had torn him apart. “How do you do that?”

“My mother taught me. She comes from a long line of great healers.” She gently massaged his knee and leg, which made another part of him swell and ache. “I wish I could get you to her. She'd be able to heal you in an instant.”

“Really?”

She looked askance at him. “You don't believe me?”

“Let's just say I have a hefty dose of skepticism. I have three friends who are Trisani, and not even they were able to repair me.”

“Really?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Not even Nero, who's the most powerful Tris I've ever heard of. He was sick for days after trying to repair me. And after that, I quit believing in anything.”

She rolled her eyes at him. “Feeling better now?”

“Yes.”

“Then join me. I'd love to have the pleasure of your company this afternoon.”

How could he say no to that? Besides, he hated being home all the time. It was why he'd installed the heavy blinds over his windows—he didn't want to see the beauty of what he couldn't enjoy. Looking outside on gorgeous days was nothing but torture that reminded him of all the times he'd jogged and played without any thought of a time when he wouldn't be able to do that anymore.

He left the bed but didn't go far before she stopped him. “You still have to use your cane. I don't want you back in the hospital.”

He growled as she handed it him. “I hate this thing.”

“I know.” She wrapped her arms around his and took him outside for the first time since he'd returned from the hospital.

He blinked against the bright sunshine that was harsh against eyes that weren't used to being in it. “So, where are we going?”

She hailed a transport. “I want to go to the park.”

“Why?”

She leaned forward impishly. “Because, and I know this is a new concept for you, we might actually have fun. Can you imagine? You might even smile and the world could come to an end over it.”

He touched her cheek and watched the way her eyes sparkled with life. “I've never allowed anyone to talk to me the way you do.”

“That's what Zarina said last night. She also said she was amazed I was still breathing.”

He laughed at her as the transport pulled up. It was true. As an assassin, he'd had a notoriously short fuse on his temper. But for some reason he tolerated her gentle teasing.

She slid into the transport first, and he took a little longer to get inside. While he adjusted the cane, she typed the address into the monitor. Her smile warmed him as the car took off and she held his hand.

Gods, her hand was so tiny compared to his. So frail. Yet she stood strong against him when no one else would. His temper didn't frighten her.

Nothing did. And that amazed him most.

Once they reached the park, he allowed Livia to lead him toward the large pond where children and adults were fishing, swimming, and skipping waves. He hadn't been here in at least a decade. But back in the day, he, Jayce, and Devyn had spent many an hour scoping out women and playing toss here.

Livia paused next to a rental station. “Want to try a paddleboat?”

He scoffed at the mere idea. “I'm too old for a paddleboat.”

“You're thirty-five, Adron. Not an ancient by any stretch of the imagination.”

“I'm too old for a paddleboat,” he reiterated with more venom than he intended. “And even if I weren't, I couldn't pedal it anyway.” Which was why he was so angry. He didn't want another reminder of how crippled he was.

“I'll do it.”

He curled his lip. “I'm not helpless.”

She glared at him as the color rushed to her cheeks. “I know that. It's okay to let others help you from time to time, Adron. Why are you so afraid of it?”

He clenched his teeth and looked away.

She took his chin in her hand and turned his head back so that he met her questing gaze. “Answer me.”

Rage clouded his vision as agony coiled inside him, and he saw his future with a clarity that sickened him. “You want to know what I'm afraid of? I'm afraid every morning when I wake up that this will be the day when I can no longer move for myself. I know it's coming. It's just a matter of time until I have no choice, except to have someone else clothe me, feed me. Change my diaper. And I can't stand it.”

“Then why don't you kill yourself? Why are you still here?”

Before he could stop himself, the truth poured out. “Because every time I think of doing that, I can hear my family praying over me while I was in the hospital. I hear my mother weeping, my father begging me not to die on them.” He swallowed. “I could never intentionally hurt them that way. It would devastate them both, and while I'm a pathetic asshole, I'm not that selfish.”