Illicit Craving (Bend To My Will #5) (2 page)

Vivienne put her glass on the table and kneeled before him. She put her hands on his thighs and looked into his eyes. “I don’t want
normal
, Jacob. And I don’t want some other guy.” She swallowed, and her eyes filled with tears.

“I don’t want any of it, Jacob. I only want
you
.” Vivienne brushed away a tear. “Being with you is more than I dreamed of. Because of you, I’m in touch with feelings I didn’t know were possible.” She blinked away more tears.

“What we do in the playroom requires so much trust,” Vivienne said. “And I do trust you, Jacob…more than you know. The intimacy we share is everything to me. Don’t you know that?”

Jacob put his palms on Vivienne’s cheeks and kissed her soft lips, craving her taste and her touch. “Vivienne…”

“I crave you, Jacob. I want what you give me,” Vivienne said. “I’m greedy too, maybe even more than you are.” She smiled through misty eyes. “All I want is you, and what we do together. And there is nothing you can do that will change my mind.”

Jacob’s heart wrenched. “I don’t want to change your mind, baby…I crave you, unbearably.” He kissed her again, harder and deeper, releasing the passion between them. His tongue raked along hers, and he breathed in her feminine scent, needing it more than air. The emotion between them had shifted to powerful desire, and the urge to have her defied restraint. Jacob stood, and with his arm around Vivienne, led her up to the playroom.

Chapter 2

Jacob went upstairs and down the hallway, with Vivienne on his arm. The argument was over, and her confession to him had touched deep. She admitted to being greedy, just as he was, and Jacob intended to satisfy both of them. The separation, however brief, had reminded Jacob that he might lose Vivienne. But at least not tonight, not now.

Right or wrong, as long as Vivienne was willing, Jacob intended to have her. The playroom door closed behind them, and passion surged. The intimate room with its sensual atmosphere surrounded him. It was exactly where he wanted to be.

“I think you need a spanking,” Jacob said sternly.

The look in Vivienne’s eyes sent molten heat to his loins. Jacob was right. She wanted it, and the sensuality in her voice confirmed it. “Yes, sir.”

“Go over to the table,” Jacob said, and watched her go. “Pull down your pants, Vivienne.”

Her compliance made Jacob harder than he already was. Vivienne undid the top button, lowered the zipper, then pulled her pants to her knees, along with her panties. She looked all the more vulnerable, since she was otherwise still dressed. Standing half-naked, as if she’d disobeyed and expected her punishment, gave her the submissive demeanor he craved.

“Bend over.” Once Vivienne leaned over the long padded table, Jacob went to the rack and chose a rectangular paddle. The sight of her bare ass was nearly his undoing. Her pants were crunched below her knees, leaving her thighs exposed, but she still had her sweater on.

“Put your hands up over your head.” Vivienne reached up, extending her arms along the length of the bench.

Jacob walked over to her, and placed one palm on her low spine to hold her steady. Vivienne’s naked butt was firm and round, the skin smooth. He pressed the paddle to the backs of her thighs, so she knew it was there. Then he drew back and paddled her bottom.

The slap of the paddle to Vivienne’s skin quickly turned it pink. Watching her ass redden as he spanked her, Jacob felt a rush. He didn’t spank too hard, but slapped sharply. The sound of the wood against her naked butt was erotic.

Vivienne was
his
, and her submission was what he wanted. A spanking for a grave error would have been harsher. This paddling was for erotic pleasure, and he was certain that Vivienne was experiencing just that. With each impact, the force would vibrate her sex, and the more her ass stung, the better the sensation.

There was no need to count strokes, since the ministration of the paddle wasn’t for punishment, exactly. Although it did feel good to be back in control. Jacob hadn’t needed to demonstrate to Vivienne that she shouldn’t disobey, because in the playroom she acquiesced. Still, spanking her butt until it was bright red was a thrill.

When he was done, Jacob tossed the paddle onto an armchair. Vivienne’s ass, offered up to him and red from spanking, edged him close. He hastily undid his pants and shoved them down, along with his briefs. His cock was thick with pre-cum wetting the knob, and his balls ached.

Jacob stood behind Vivienne, holding her by the waist, and admiring her pink skin. The way she was bent over, he could see that her pussy was swollen and ready. Seeing evidence that the sting of the paddle had aroused her was a serious turn-on. The thought of how wet she must be from the spanking made his cock pulse.

“I’m going to fuck you,” Jacob said, then grasped the base of his cock roughly. His voice was sharp, his command unmistakable. “And don’t you dare come.” He took a breath, and dipped his knob into her wet opening. “This is for
me
…not
you
.”

Vivienne did not respond, as well she shouldn’t. It wasn’t a question.

With a shove, Jacob pushed in deep, and Vivienne’s tight pussy gripped him. With a moan, he stroked all the way into her. “You are so hot.” Fucking her while admiring her bare ass made restraint impossible. It was as though his cock was locked in a vise.

Panting rapidly and pounding into her, Jacob’s muscles tensed and heavy sensation flooded his loins. He groaned loudly, slapping into her wet pussy, and then exploded. Jacob filled her with his cum, having no need to hold back. He continued to stroke into her, relishing the satisfaction of release. When Jacob was drained, yet still buried deep, he leaned over to kiss Vivienne’s neck.

Jacob withdrew and stood back. “You may get up.”

Vivienne slipped off the bench and turned to face him. Her expression was fraught with overpowering need, stirring the same within him. Jacob reached out, and she came to him. He slipped off her sweater, then undid her bra, nearly ripping it off before the clasp came loose.

With wild abandon, Vivienne pulled off Jacob’s shirt and, with her palm on his chest, she licked and bit his nipples as if starved for them. He swiftly kicked off his shoes and stripped off his socks, along with the pants. By then, Vivienne was fully nude, and he swept her into his arms, lifting her high.

Vivienne clawed her fingernails through his hair and licked along his jaw. Jacob slipped his forearms underneath her thighs to hold her up, then, with a lunge, pressed her back against the wall. Vivienne wrapped her legs around his waist, uncontrollably kissing his cheeks and his neck.

With her wrapped around him, Jacob covered her mouth with his, kissing her hard. The lip-bruising kiss turned him on, and he slashed his tongue along hers. Vivienne kissed back with fervor, breathing him in, and making sexy sounds in the back of her throat.

The kiss was long and passionate. They panted together, moaning and clawing. While holding her tight against the wall, Jacob nibbled down her neck, then licked the curve of her ear, before kissing her again. Vivienne’s soft lips and sweet taste fanned the flames of his desire, the slow burn of lust turning into a raging fire.

The floral notes of Vivienne’s perfume mingled with the scent of her arousal, driving him to the edge. Jacob kissed her again, unable to get enough, and wanting to devour her. He delved into her hot mouth, raking the tip of his tongue inside, all around.

Vivienne whimpered against him, and Jacob’s erection thickened. He was ready, and without hesitation, lifted her just high enough to plunge inside. His cock stretched her, making Vivienne cry out. She grabbed his hair, pulling hard, and wrapped her legs tighter around his waist. Still kissing with ferocity, Jacob rocked up into her.

With each stroke, Vivienne’s stiff nipples grazed his chest, and her pussy closed over him like a fist. She panted loudly and whined in a high voice. Jacob fucked her relentlessly, with her thighs draped over his arms, and her round ass in his palms.

Breathless, they spiraled into ecstasy. Vivienne gasped for breath and pulsed over Jacob’s heat, while he pounded into her. Then she cried out, her strong inner muscles clenching over his shaft. Vivienne shattered in his arms, and Jacob yelled out as his powerful release consumed him.

When she collapsed with her head pressed against the wall, Jacob ravaged her with kisses. He kissed her chin, her cheeks, her temples, her eyelids, and then tenderly kissed her lips. It was as though there weren’t enough places to kiss, and there was no way to release the emotion that filled him.

Slowly, Jacob lowered Vivienne back to the floor and wrapped her in a strong embrace, while he caught his breath. She put her hands around his waist, resting her head against his chest. “Baby…I…” But Jacob didn’t know what to say. No words came, just feeling, and he only hoped that Vivienne knew how much she affected him.

*****

Vivienne closed her eyes, holding tight to Jacob. Then he pulled back and leaned down to kiss her again. The kiss was tender yet sexy, and conveyed more than words could have. She looked up at him, and smiled. “Jacob,” she said.

He scooped her up into his arms and carried her out of the playroom to the master suite, where they cleaned up. Jacob showered with her, then they dressed and went down for dinner. It was one of those times when silence was comfortable. Neither spoke, but Vivienne felt so close to him.

In the dining room, their places were set with linen and silver. Candles were lit, and music played in the background. “I’m sure that the cook has gone home,” Jacob said. “But she has prepared a nice dinner for us.”

“I love Colette’s cooking. What’s on the menu tonight?”

“I requested blackened salmon with spring vegetables,” Jacob said. “Will that do?”

“It sounds delicious.” Vivienne saw him go to the wine cooler to choose a bottle for the meal. She stepped over to the window, looking out into the darkness, and at the city lights sparkling below. It was lovely, and she felt so good now that they’d made up.

Jacob stood beside her and handed her a glass of wine. Vivienne lifted the crystal to admire the rich red color. “It’s Cabernet,” he said. “It should pair well with the blackened fish.”

“I’m sure it will.” Vivienne followed him to the other room. She sat beside him on the sofa to relax and enjoy the wine.

Jacob put his hand on her thigh, a sign of affection. They were okay for the moment. The upset had passed, although the relationship remained volatile. Vivienne knew Jacob was troubled. But he wanted her, and she wanted him, which was what mattered most.

An unwelcome voice in her head nagged that the entanglement would lead to unhappiness, but Vivienne wasn’t about to pay attention to it. She didn’t care, and was unwilling to embrace any other situation, other than being with Jacob.

Vivienne refused to consider any other option. Although it was indulgent to continue with Jacob, she had no intention of prohibiting it. Her heart filled with love, yet it wasn’t the right time to tell him. So for now, she would keep that to herself. Although it wouldn’t be easy to do so, as Vivienne considered that love for a man like Jacob would be obvious. All he had to do was look into her eyes. But maybe he wouldn’t notice.

The depth of emotion pulled her in, and although she wasn’t yet comfortable with it, Vivienne didn’t fight it. She couldn’t. The intensity of the playroom only served to fuel her love, each scene drawing her closer, and the sex play more intimate with every interlude. It would be so much easier if Jacob confessed that he had feelings for her, too.

Jacob’s possessiveness had to be a sign of what was in his heart. But Vivienne wished he would open up to her and tell her what he felt. In the aftermath of passion, he had wanted to say something but hadn’t. She wondered if it was the sentiment that she wanted so badly to hear.

Forbidden or not, Vivienne loved him, and she failed to see how something so special could be wrong. She didn’t believe it. Despite Jacob encouraging her to embrace a
normal
life, she wanted none of it. There was no normal for Vivienne, except being with him. Jacob was the only man for her, and that was her life, indulgent or not.

“We still have all night…and the morning,” Jacob said, with his empty wine glass resting on his knee.

Vivienne looked into his sexy blue eyes. “That we do,” she said. “And I cherish every moment we have.” She hoped that statement didn’t make him feel trapped, as she was certain a
vow of
love
would have. But Jacob’s expression was laced with potent desire that matched hers, and Vivienne knew it was going to be okay…for now.

Chapter 3

The next day, when Vivienne’s weekend at the penthouse was over, she returned to her apartment. Since it was a warm day, she went for a walk. Making up with Jacob had been such a relief. Leaving each Sunday afternoon was difficult, but at least they were on good terms.

Shoppers and tourists flooded the sidewalks, making Vivienne step around them to avoid colliding. Her mind was elsewhere. Because of her feelings, navigating the relationship with Jacob was no easy task. All the ups and downs were magnified, with the playroom episodes at the pinnacle.

Vivienne was ruined for any other man. Thus Jacob’s mistrust of male competition was unwarranted. Having experienced the titillations of sex play with him, she was hooked. The thrill combined with the edge of pain was a heady elixir.

More than once, Jacob had admonished her about confusing the erotic thrill with deeper emotions, yet that’s exactly what she was doing. But she had no intention of repressing how she felt. Although she hadn’t confessed the transgression to Jacob, she couldn’t curb it either.

The more illicit the experience, the more she craved it…and Jacob. Although she didn’t conceive of anything they did together as morally wrong, she did know that it was best to keep it private and avoid unwelcome disapproval. Yet Vivienne cared less and less about that, focused solely on the man she loved.

As she strolled along the sidewalk, Vivienne spotted a café and ducked inside to grab an iced coffee. Then she went back to the small park near her building, and took a seat on a bench to watch the pigeons.

When she slipped her phone out of her purse, Vivienne noticed an email from Irene Lake. She scanned it, happy to hear that her mother had attended a church picnic, a sign that she was feeling better. And she was getting more hours at the restaurant.

In a reply, Vivienne told her mother she was glad to know things were going well, and shared that the new online business should be up and running soon. Knowing it would be a comfort to her mother, Vivienne mentioned Jacob and that they’d had a good weekend together. If her mother knew the real details, she would be concerned, but that wasn’t something Vivienne intended to share.

Since it was Sunday, it was a good time to text her father. The last time they’d messaged, Vivienne had just recovered from her illness. Fortunately, he hadn’t heard about it until she was well. Otherwise he might have taken off work to come see her.

Hey, Dad.

Good to hear from you, Vivie. Are you doing okay?

Yes, wonderful.

You know I’d come, if you need me.

No, really, I’m totally over that virus.

Still seeing Jacob?

Yes, we spent the weekend together.

He better be good to you. I want to meet him.

Jacob would love to meet you too. Let me know when you can get away.

Will do. I love you, honey.

I love you too, Dad.

Vivienne knew her dad was kidding about Jacob being good to her, sort of. He was her father, and didn’t want her hooking up with a guy who wasn’t right for her. But she was the only one who could make that decision. Although she could see that Jacob was bad for her, in the ways that he had mentioned, she could only encompass the good. Bad was relative, anyway. Any relationship took work, and whatever she had to face with Jacob, she would.

*****

Early on Monday, an email arrived from Alfred to set up a time for a conference call with key providers, who were involved in the new online business. A tentative date to launch Sensual Scents had been set, contingent on the support structure being in place. There was no mention of a trip to Paris, and Vivienne predicted it wouldn’t happen until after the launch, which was very time-consuming.

Until the call, Vivienne focused on projects for Vee’s, which was still her main business. It was good to see large orders from regular customers, as well as from new ones. The shop was a source of pride. Vivienne had started it on her own, and after much hard work, it had flourished. Her dream of acting had faded into the background.

The hours sped by, but just before the call, Vivienne took a couple of minutes to check on Luke. He didn’t require much supervision, so she didn’t have to devote attention to the warehouse, or the handling and stocking of deliveries. Finding that he had everything under control, she went back to her office.

The conference started on time, and ran until after lunch. When it ended, Vivienne was starved, and grabbed her purse to go out for food. When she walked down the hallway, she heard Milo’s voice and stopped cold. That was one man she didn’t want to see today, cringing at the thought of his lecherous looks and inappropriate behavior. She’d listen to be sure he didn’t start hitting on her assistant.

“That perfume was great,” Milo said. “I’d like to buy another bottle for my sister.”

Vivienne wondered if that was true, as he didn’t seem like the thoughtful-brother type.

“Excellent choice,” Michele said. “And lucky enough, we have one in stock. It’s been a popular choice.”

“Is Vivie around? I thought I’d say hello while I’m here,” Milo said.

“She’s in her office, but on a very important conference call.”

Thank goodness Vivienne had told Michele not to interrupt her.

“Will she be long?”

Milo was really getting ballsy. Vivienne would need to keep an eye on him.

“From what she said, the call will take a while,” Michele said. “But I’ll tell her that you said hello.”

After a couple of minutes, Milo said, “Thank you, I’ll see you soon.” The door dinged, signaling that he’d left. Vivienne allowed another minute for him to disappear, as it wouldn’t do for him to see her through the windows. He’d probably turn around and come back in. Maybe if the man encountered Michele a few times and didn’t see Vivienne, he would chill.

Vivienne’s stomach rumbled, reminding her that lunch was very late. She went out to the counter, and Michele looked up. “Did the call go well?” her assistant said.

“Yes, it did. And now I need to eat before I faint.” Vivienne laughed, only half joking.

“Enjoy,” Michele said. “Can you bring back an iced tea for me?”

“Sure, and I’ll bring extra lemon, just like you prefer it.”

It was the least Vivienne could do, considering that Michele had run interference with Milo, even if she wasn’t aware of it. It would be prudent to bring her assistant up to speed on that situation, so she wouldn’t be caught off guard. But right then Vivienne needed food, so that discussion would have to wait.

Lunch ended up being a sandwich to go, and Vivienne was back at the shop pretty quickly. She handed off the tea to Michele, then got back to work, and dealt with business issues until after the others had left for the day. This time she had asked Michele to lock the door behind her, not wanting to face any after-hours customers.

It was still light out when Vivienne headed over to Luciana’s Italian Restaurant to see Lana. Her friend was working the late shift at the restaurant, with a break at seven. Since she had to finish her shift after dinner, Vivienne suggested that she come by the restaurant, instead of taking time to go someplace else. They could sit at one of the back tables to visit.

The family-oriented place was busy. The framed photos on the walls, candles in wine bottles with colorful wax drips down the sides, and the wood booths were welcoming. Even if it wasn’t owned by Lana’s parents, it would have seemed warm and inviting.

When Lana spotted Vivie, she took off her apron and waved, then motioned toward a back table. It was away from the main area, so not as busy with customers. On the way by, Vivie gave Luciana a quick hug, and Lana’s mother said, “Good to see you, honey.” She was tending to a customer, and unable to chat more. Vivienne didn’t see Lana’s father right then, so assumed he must be in the kitchen.

At the table, Lana gave her a quick squeeze. “Since I don’t have a long dinner break, I ordered for us. The chicken Marsala is still one of your favorites, right?”

“The way it’s made here? Yes.” Vivienne slid into the booth, and Lana sat across from her.

A waiter came by and they ordered iced teas. “The food is coming up,” he said, then left.

“So this is the weekend I go to Hudson with Trace. We leave Friday afternoon,” Lana said. “My parents took me there once, a long time ago, and I remember there was an incredible view of the Hudson River from Parade Hill.”

“Take your camera and send me pictures,” Vivienne said. “When do you get back?”

“My dad didn’t put me on the schedule for Monday, so we don’t have to return until early Tuesday.”

“Nice.” Vivienne sipped her tea. “I can’t wait to hear about the theater, and how you like
Hamlet
.”

“It’s going to be so romantic,” Lana said. “This is our first trip away together.”

“You’ll have a great time,” Vivienne said, knowing that Trace was a fun guy. Hopefully, he was more than that to her friend, because she didn’t want to see Lana’s heart get broken.

The food arrived, and for a while they focused on eating. “Mmm, this is delicious,” Vivienne said.

“It’s a family recipe from my mom, but I think the chef has spiced it up.” Lana scooped another bite. With her hand over her mouth, she said, “So you spent the weekend with Jacob?”

Vivienne nodded, and dabbed at her lips with a napkin. “It was kind of rocky, but we worked it out.” She saw her friend’s puzzled look. “I’m in deep, Lana. And I don’t know if it’s a healthy relationship.”

“How does Jacob feel about you?”

“I don’t know…exactly. He’s very reserved when it comes to sentiment or deep feelings.” Vivienne paused. “I’m not sure how to handle things sometimes.”

Lana didn’t have much to offer. “I’m not sure what I’m doing either,” she said. “I’ve fallen for Trace, but for all I know he’s just having a good time.” She wrinkled her brow. “Can you talk to Jacob?”

“I can try,” Vivienne said. “But he refuses to discuss
some
things
.” Since she hadn’t told Lana about Jacob’s dark side, or his nightmares, she didn’t specify what the
some things
were.

“Give him a chance.” Lana swallowed, then stabbed at another bite. “At least tell him how you feel.”

“I don’t know. I’m not sure he wants to hear it,” Vivienne said. “He isn’t keen on
falling in love
.”

“And you are in love with him, aren’t you?”

Hearing her friend say it drove the point home. Vivienne’s heart ached. If only she could tell Jacob how she felt. “I am in love with him. He is the man I want.” She sighed. “But you can’t say anything to Trace…promise.”

“I promise. It’s not the sort of stuff guys bring up, anyway.”

“Jacob has been friends with Trace for a long time, and they probably share everything,” Vivienne said. “Everything there is to share, anyway. So it’s better if he doesn’t know.”

“My lips are sealed.” Lana pushed her plate aside. “I have to run, but I’m glad you popped by. When I’m at Trace’s place so much, I don’t see you enough.”

“Great to see you too. Aerobics tomorrow, right?”

Lana rubbed her belly. “With the food around here, definitely. I need it…especially if I plan on keeping Trace around.” She laughed and headed for the kitchen, leaving Vivienne to finish eating at her leisure.

With the weekend getaway coming up, Lana was excited and hadn’t mentioned anything about her acting. Vivienne assumed she was still getting auditions. Otherwise, she
would
have heard about it. Trying to break into the theater was a tough go, but she had faith that eventually Lana would succeed.

She wondered what Jacob was doing, and whether he thought about her during the week. She couldn’t believe that he didn’t, and hoped he would call. Even though Vivienne had permission to call, she didn’t want to abuse the privilege or seem clingy.

Vivienne stood up from the table and put her purse over her shoulder, already counting the days until she could see Jacob again. She was in deep, just as she’d told Lana. In fact, she was probably in over her head. But all she could do was move ahead in the relationship, and face whatever the future held.