Authors: Kate Benson
I can’t stop the heat from filling my cheeks as the scent of cinnamon lingering reminds me that it did.
Zeke
After taking the coldest shower of my life, I called Addie and we decide to go to a movie. We didn’t talk for long, but with a few feet and walls between us, we’d managed to keep our heads clear enough to set up some rules.
Well, really it all came down to one rule: if at any point we feel like we need to walk away to save our friendship, we do it. No questions asked, no hard feelings.
I’m just about ready to pick her up when I hear the walkie under my pillow sounding off, her hushed voice sounding slightly panicked.
“Zeke! Pick up!”
“What’s wrong?” I ask, glancing out my window across to hers and seeing her empty bed, the covers still a mess from this morning.
“Nothing,” she groans, going silent for a moment before the walkie I’m holding sounds off again. “I have to… I have to ask you something and I don’t want to.”
“Well, what is it?” I ask, my mind reeling.
Addie and I have always had a completely honest relationship, so when I try to think of things she wouldn’t be comfortable asking me, I draw up a blank.
“It’s so stupid…” she sighs.
“Oh my God, Addie,” I cut her off. “Would you just ask me already?”
“Ugh! Fine!” she huffs. “This morning when you left, my dad asked me what was going on with us and I told him I didn’t really know. So, he told me I was being ridiculous and needed to figure it out. I told him I knew that and so then when I told him we were going to the movies, he asked me if we were dating and I didn’t know what to say so I just stared at him like a moron. He started some awkward sex talk and I freaked out,” the hushed words leave her so quickly, she pauses to take a breath.
“So what did you tell him?” I ask her, unable to keep the smirk from touching my lips.
“Nothing! I told him I had to pee and I came up here and called you!”
“So he thinks you’re peeing right now?” I laugh in disbelief.
“Yes!” she hisses. “I didn’t know what to do so I ran away.”
“Oh my God,” I groan, still laughing. “Okay, I’ll take care of it.”
“What do you mean you’ll take care of it? How the hell are you gonna take care of it, Zeke?”
“Don’t worry about it,” I tell her. “Just get dressed and I’ll be there in a minute.”
“Okay, thanks,” she says quickly and I look over to see her popping up from beneath her window and running across the room, the action making me laugh harder.
***
“Hello Zeke,” Addie’s dad says as he swings the front door open, motioning for me to come inside as he takes a long pull from his beer.
“Hey Mr. Greyson,” I smile, walking past him. “How are you?”
“I’m alright, I suppose,” he says, pushing the door shut before calling up the stairs. “Addie! Zeke’s here!”
“Okay!” she yells back.
“Do you want me to go and get her?” I offer and the smirk that covers his mouth has me a little nervous.
“No,” he says. “No, I think we should take advantage of this time to have a little chat since my darling daughter’s suddenly overactive bladder has forbidden such.”
“Okay,” I nod, following him into the living room, watching as he gestures to the blue couch they’ve had in there for years.
“Have a seat,” he tells me before taking his spot in his favorite old recliner and faces me. “Son, I’m only gonna have this talk with you once, you hear?”
“Yes sir,” I nod.
“I’ve known you for years, I think you’re a good kid and I know you care about my daughter,” he starts, holding my eyes. “But if you hurt so much as one hair on Addie’s head, this happy little relationship we have here will be over.”
“Mr. Greyson, I wouldn’t…”
“I don’t think you’d do it intentionally,” he cuts me off. “But you’re both leaving here in a few weeks and you need to seriously think about what you’re doing. The two of you have been through a lot over the years and I know how much you mean to each other. Don’t go mucking up more than a decade of friendship over a few hormones, okay? Just think about what you’re doing first.”
“Yes sir.”
Before he can speak again, Addie’s footsteps on the stairs pull our attention and we both stand to greet her.
“Hey,” she says, nervously watching our exchange.
Taking her in, I let my eyes travel over her nervous form at the bottom of the staircase in front of us. She’s the same girl she was yesterday, but somehow, she’s not. There’s nothing crazy special about the clothes she’s wearing and her hair and makeup look the same way they always have.
For some reason, though, her hazel eyes pop out just a little more than usual tonight.
Her blonde hair falls just a little more gently down her back.
Her glossy lips silently beg for me to kiss them in ways they never have before.
Her dad’s words aren’t lost on me. In fact, few things have ever hit home so hard, but I’m surprised when they have an opposite effect on me. I know he’s trying his best to get us to slow things down, play it smart, but it’s clear to me now that the words I’d said to her this morning are truer than I even knew myself.
The feelings I have for her run deep. There’s just no way I can go back to the way to the way we were before.
“Hey,” I manage, giving her a small smile before watching her gaze move from me to her dad, then back to me again.
“So, are you ready?”
“Yeah,” I nod, turning to Mr. Greyson to see his eyes filled with nervousness. “We’re just going to a movie and if Addie wants, we might stop for something to eat. I’ll have her back home in a few hours.”
“Okay,” he sighs, patting me on the shoulder before leaning over slightly. “You’ll think about what I said?”
“Yes sir,” I tell him, meaning every word but knowing my mind’s made up.
I don’t need to think about anything. I know what I want, there’s no doubt about that.
I just can’t believe she’s been right next to me all along.
Addie
“Holy shit, Addie,” he pants as he pulls his shirt over his head, staring down into me as he straddles me in the front cab of his mom’s truck. “How have we not been doing this the entire time?”
“I don’t know,” I admit, pulling him back down to my lips.
As his hand skims my stomach, playfully teasing the skin between my navel and the waist of my jeans, I can’t stop the slight whimper that leaves my lips.
We’d behaved ourselves in the movie theater, both of us surprising ourselves by actually watching the bulk of the film. I don’t think either one of us wanted to, but my dad texting Zeke to warn us he’d want a full recap of the plot didn’t leave us much of a choice. Now that we’d gotten through it, we’d decided to forego food and park at the lake instead.
As he gently begins to suck on my neck, cupping my breast through the thin cotton of my bra, I grow lightheaded. His thumb brushes against the clasp in the front and he lets out a low hum before moving his lips to my ear.
“Addie, is it okay…?”
“Yeah,” I cut him off, moving my hands from his waist to nervously unfasten the clasp.
Things seem to be moving crazy fast and my hands are shaking with nerves, but I trust Zeke like no other. Not to mention, I can’t get enough of him and the proof that he wants me just as much is driving me insane.
With my fitted purple flannel already unbuttoned, releasing the clasp has me almost completely bared to him from the waist up. My cheeks are burning with the combination of arousal and insecurity, but as his eyes take me in, he lets out a low groan of approval and his hot breath on my skin washes all of my uncertainty away.
“Addie,” he pants against my lips, his voice low as his eyes find mine. “You’re so pretty.”
As his mouth returns to mine, he kisses me deeply, touching my bare breast and sending sparks through my veins and pulling another moan from my chest. Slowly, he lowers his mouth to my chest and as he runs his tongue over my nipple, my back arches involuntarily as my nails sink into his strong arms.
“Oh my God,” I gasp, letting my head fall back against the seat as he continues to lap and suck his way across my chest.
Slowly, he moves lower, still using one of his palms to massage my breast. I’m lost in the fog until his tongue slips into my navel. As I feel the heat building in my belly, he rests his hand high on my inner thigh, just a couple inches from…
there
… and an alarm sounds off in my head.
“Stop!” I call out, louder than I intended and stopping all movement.
As mortification fills my cheeks, I glance down and find him frozen in place, his blue eyes locked on mine.
“Did I do something wrong?” he manages through his panting, his features filled with concern.
“No,” I say, shaking my head quickly. “No, you didn’t, I just…”
“What’s wrong?” he asks, slowly lifting to give me more room. “Too fast?”
“No, not really,” I admit, surprising myself. “I just… Zeke, I can’t be one of those girls, ya know?”
“One of what girls?” he asks, watching me as I sit up beside him, pulling my shirt closed.
Oh this is going to be so embarrassing.
“Addie…”
“I can’t lose my virginity in your mom’s truck at the lake,” I blurt out, resting my head in my hands. “I’m sorry, Zeke, I just can’t…”
“Hey, look at me,” he says, cutting me off and pulling my hands away from my face. “We don’t have to do that, Addie. If you decide you’re ready, I am totally down,” he admits, causing my blush to deepen. “But I would never pressure you to do that.”
“I know,” I admit, resting my hand in his. “I
do
want to, just not yet… not like this.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” he says, kissing my hair.
The words he says to make me feel better do just the opposite and give me the reality check I’ve been struggling to avoid for days now. Swallowing hard past the lump in my throat, I can’t escape the sinking feeling in my chest.
“Actually, that’s not true at all, Zeke,” I sigh, fastening the last button of my top shut before facing his sad expression with my own. “In a few weeks, we both are.”
July 13, 2010
Zeke
Over the past week and a half, things have been pretty intense between Addie and me. I thought we’d spent all our time together before, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. Now, we’re more inseparable than ever.
The second our eyes pop open, we’re on the walkies waking the other up. Within minutes, I’m climbing in her window and standing in front of her. More often than not, I sneak into her bedroom after her dad’s gone to bed and spend the night wrapped up in her.
We’ve not done taken things any further yet, truth be told we’re mostly sleeping and talking, but that was fine by me. Although my body’s nagging, screaming at me really, I meant what I’d said to her the other night at the lake. I’ll never pressure her to do anything she isn’t ready for and she’s clearly not there yet.
I’d had my suspicions that she was still a virgin when I came home for the summer, but since she’d confirmed them, I knew we needed to take things slow. Although this is the first time we’d crossed over the lines of friendship, I was pretty sure her experience consisted of that kiss I’d stolen when we were on her roof back in high school. I wasn’t in any rush, though. In fact, even though I’d never told her as much, I love that I have all of her experience. I know it sounds selfish, but I’ve never had to share her with anyone before and I’m definitely not crazy about the idea now. I only wish I could give her the same in return.
Although she’s right, we’d both be heading for school in a few weeks, I have no delusions. Whatever was happening between me and Addie was way more than just some careless summer fling. The more days we shared together, the more convinced I’d become that this was that epic thing. The thing you always hear about but never really believe exists unless it’s staring you square in the face.
We’re currently strewn across the couch at her house sharing a box of Sour Patch Kids when her dad makes his way around the corner, taking us in with a sigh.
“Addison, have you seen my thermos?”
“Yes sir,” she says, looking away from the movie from her position across my lap. “I washed it for you and put it behind the coffee pot.”
“Okay, thanks,” he says, leaving the room with a muffled grumble.
“People in these movies are so stupid,” Addie says quietly, popping a piece of candy in her mouth as she rolls her eyes. “Every time they have sex, right after or the next morning they get all lovey and gooey and start acting like idiots, ya know?”
“Yeah,” I chuckle, playing with a loose strand of her hair.
“I mean, admittedly, I have zero experience with that,” she continues, shaking another handful of candy into her hand before handing the box back to me. “But I can tell you one thing, I’m not gonna act like
that
afterwards. Especially not over that guy. Wasn’t he was just hitting on her friend like fifteen minutes ago?” she asks, looking up to see me nodding. “Ugh! Freakin’ loser.”
I’m laughing quietly to myself, about to respond to her when her dad returns, cutting me off.
“Addison, I’m about to head out, kitten,” he says, glancing over at us on the couch, his eyes zeroing in on the arm I’ve got resting over her waist.
“Okay Daddy,” she says, rising from the couch to wrap her arms around him. “Please be safe.”
“I will,” he says, kissing her temple and smiling down at her lovingly. “You be good.”
“Yes sir, I will,” she promises, reaching up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek.
“What are you planning to do while I’m gone?” he asks, his eyes nervously darting over to me.
“You’re lookin’ at it,” she giggles while taking a seat on the arm of the couch nearest to him.
“Okay,” he smiles at her before facing me. “Zeke, can I speak to you, son?”
“Sure,” I say, following him when he gestures for me follow him into the kitchen. After sticking his head out to make sure we’re out of her earshot, he finds her attention back on the movie and returns his eyes to mine. “Do you remember what we talked about last time I had to go out of town?”
“Yes sir,” I nod, remembering him asking me to stay and keep an eye on Addie.
Although Addie and I still had no idea what was going on with her dad, he’d been acting weird ever since that first day. Honestly, the whole thing was making me nervous, but I’d never admit as much to her. She’s already worried enough.
“Well, I’d planned to ask you the same favor, but I think it’s obvious something’s going on with you two now,” he starts, letting out a sigh as he rakes his hand over his jaw, eyeing me. “I’m in a rough spot, Zeke. I need someone here to keep an eye on her, but you’re the only person she’s comfortable with. I just don’t know if it’s a great idea.”
“Mr. Greyson,” I start, shaking my head as I hold his eyes. “I hope you know I would never let anything happen to Addie.”
“That’s not what I’m worried about, Zeke. I know you won’t let anyone hurt her, that’s not the issue, son. The problem is that I was nineteen years old once, too. I know what you’ve got on your mind, kid,” he admits, raising an eyebrow. “Can I trust you to keep your dick in your pants?”
“Yes sir,” I nod, feeling the heat build in my cheeks as he studies me. “Mr. Greyson, she’s not just some girl to me. I love Addie, you know that, right?”
“I do, son,” he says, giving me a slight nod and a pat on the shoulder. “That’s why I was hoping you’d take what I had to say more seriously last week.”
“I thought about what you said,” I admit, leaving the rest of it out.
“Well, you can lead a horse to water,” he sighs, shaking his head and giving me a smirk. “I’m gonna trust you to take care of her.”
“I will,” I say, holding his eyes. “I promise I’ll make sure she’s safe.”
“Okay,” he agrees, leading me back out into the living room where Addie’s picking through the last of our candy. “Addison, I want you to hear this, too,” he starts, pulling her eyes up to where we’re standing. “I’ll be back on Thursday afternoon. That five days, so for the next four nights, I’m going to trust the two of you to be alone together. Can you do that?”
“Yes s…”
“I’m not finished,” he cuts her off. “No. Sex. I’m still not completely sure what the hell is going on with you two, but this is still my house and you’ll abide by my rules regardless of whether I’m here or not, is that understood?”
“Yes sir,” she nods, her cheeks flaming red with embarrassment.
“If I come back to a pregnant kid, I’m kicking everyone’s ass,” he snips, turning to face me. “I’ll be starting with yours. You got it?”
“Yes sir,” I start, only to be cut off again.
“And don’t think I won’t find out,” he rails on, pulling a groan from her. “I don’t want to hear it, Addison. Don’t answer the door and keep your pants on. I don’t care if it means you stinkin’ to high Heaven when I pull that rig back into the drive…”
“Oh my God, Daddy!” she wails, cutting him off. “Would you calm down? I’m a virgin!”
“You’re damn right you are, young lady,” he nods, unconcerned with her mortification. “And you better still be one when I get back.”
“Okay,” she groans. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, kitten,” he says, leaning down to kiss her hair before facing me. “If you have any emergencies, take her next door and call me on my cell.”
“Yes sir.”
As the front door latches shut and we stay silent until we hear her dad’s rig pulling away. Letting out a low sigh, I glance down to find her chipping away at her glittery pink nail polish nervously, reality setting in.
Addie and I are completely alone for the next five days.
Addie
My dad’s been a truck driver my whole life or at least as far back as I can remember. The sound of his rig coming to life outside is one I’ve heard a million times, but there’s something different about it this time.
It’s the same sound I’ve heard all those time before, that’s not the difference. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m a different girl than I was the last time I’d heard it.
As my eyes swing back around to meet Zeke’s, I’m at a loss for words. How the hell am I going to do this? The only thing that’s been forbidden is the only thing I can think of.
I’d decided after we’d come home from the lake that even if whatever Zeke and I had been sharing over the past couple weeks didn’t pan out, three things absolutely would be happening before I went to school.
One, I’d know before I left this house that things were good between me and Zeke. Even if a romantic relationship didn’t develop between us and we somehow managed to find a way back to just being best friends, I’d have to know before I left what we’d shared was still intact and unscathed.
Two, I needed to figure out what the hell was going on with my dad. I’d heard him on the phone the past two mornings and although it was one sided for me, something was going on that I wasn’t privy to. I know he won’t tell me or else he already would have, but I wouldn’t be able to leave him alone if I wasn’t sure he’d be safe.
Last, but certainly not least, I won’t be leaving this house a virgin. I’m giving my virginity to my best friend before I leave for college. Flawless plan? Hardly. It doesn’t even fall into the realm of halfway smart, but I know what I want and he’s standing in my living room right now.
And we’ve just been left completely alone for the next five days.