How to Handle Your Emotions (Counseling Through the Bible Series) (7 page)

“‘In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold…Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you”

(E
PHESIANS
4:26-27,29-32).

God’s Analysis of Anger

Have you seriously considered how much anger you are holding inside your heart…and holding toward others? On the next page draw pie-shaped circle. Divide the pie into segments and put a name inside each segment to represent the amount of anger you feel toward the different people in your life—past or present. (We’ve done a sample “anger pie” for you.)
²⁵

As you think about your own anger, consider what the Bible says:

“You must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.”

(C
OLOSSIANS
3:8).

It will prove helpful to stop and ask yourself some questions each time you experience anger. Analyzing what is going on can help move you from subjectivity to objectivity, from being controlled by your anger to benefiting from it. As you practice patience and utilize understanding, you will find yourself at a point where you can use your anger for God’s purposes and prevent it from leading you into sin.

“A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly”

(P
ROVERBS
14:29).

“Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city”

(P
ROVERBS
16:32).

Problems, pain, and perplexities—you can’t escape them. Do you blame God for the pain and heartaches in your life? Have you pointed a condemning finger at God and pronounced judgment on Him because He has not stopped evil or suffering? In the Bible, a man named Job had serious questions for God. In fact, we see the anger in his bitter complaint:

“Even today my complaint is bitter; his hand is heavy in spite of my groaning. If only I knew where to find him; if only I could go to his dwelling! I would state my case before him and fill my mouth with arguments”

(J
OB
23:2-4).

Is anger toward God justifiable? God answers Job with these words:

“Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge?…Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him?…Would you discredit my justice? Would you condemn me to justify yourself?”

(J
OB
38:2; 40:2,8).

What is the answer to such intense anger against God? Can it be resolved? And if so, how?

Resolving Anger Toward God

—God is just.

“He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he”

(D
EUTERONOMY
32:4).

—God’s ways are just.

“Just and true are your ways, King of the ages”

(R
EVELATION
15:3).

—God is love.

“God is love”

(1 J
OHN
4:8).

—God’s love is directed toward all people.

“God so loved the world”

(J
OHN
3:16).

—God brings good out of evil.

“We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him”

(R
OMANS
8:28).

—God turns crying into dancing and sorrow into joy.

“You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy”

(P
SALM
30:11).

—God uses sufferings to produce perseverance, character, and hope.

“We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us”

(R
OMANS
5:3-5).

—God uses our troubles to teach us compassion.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God”

(2 C
ORINTHIANS
1:3-4).

—
God offers salvation to all.

“God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him”

(J
OHN
3:17).

—God will bless those who persevere under trial.

“Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial”

(J
AMES
1:12).

—God will bring His righteous judgment on those who are evil.

“For those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger”

(R
OMANS
2:8-9).

—God will one day make everything new for His people (authentic believers).

“The dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away”

(R
EVELATION
21:3-4).

Job, who at one time had bitterness toward God, ultimately realized his anger was misplaced. With deepest remorse, he admitted his wrong:

“I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted…My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes”

(J
OB
42:2,5-6).

Controlling Your Anger and Knowing God’s Plan for Your Life

No one wants to be thought of as being out-of-control. Yet those who struggle with anger will say, “I’ve really tried to control my anger, but for some reason, I just can’t.”

If that someone is you, it could be that the Lord is saying, “I know you can’t but I can. I can give you the control you need. I will give you My supernatural power. But first, give Me control of your life. Then I will change you inside out.”

Do you need a real change in your life? If so, there are four truths you need to know:

1. G
OD’S
P
URPOSE FOR
Y
OU
…I
S
S
ALVATION

— What was God’s motive in sending Christ to earth? To express His love for you by making salvation available to you!

“God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him”

(J
OHN
3:16-17).

— What was Jesus’ purpose in coming to earth? To forgive your sins, empower you to have victory over sin, and enable you to live a fulfilled life!

“I [Jesus] have come that they may have life, and have it to the full”

(J
OHN
10:10).

2. Y
OUR
P
ROBLEM…
I
S
S
IN

— What exactly is sin? Sin is living
independently
of God’s standard— knowing what is right, but choosing wrong.

“Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins”

(J
AMES
4:17).

— What is the major consequence of sin? It is spiritual death, spiritual separation from God.

“The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord”

(R
OMANS
6:23).

3. G
OD’S
P
ROVISION FOR
Y
OU
…I
S THE
S
AVIOR

— Can anything remove the penalty for sin? Yes. Jesus died on the cross to personally pay the penalty for your sins.

“God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us”