How to Defeat Harmful Habits (Counseling Through the Bible Series) (53 page)
LEAVING THE WORLD OF ADDICTIONS
T
he addicted live in a world of pain—pain mixed with pleasure. But as time goes on, the pain increases to the extent of compromising their character, harming their health, and wrecking their relationships.
Those who haven’t struggled with an addiction—whether it be alcohol or drug abuse, anorexia or bulimia, sexual addiction, compulsive eating, gambling or spending—might logically think,
Why don’t they just stop?
What keeps strugglers buried under a landslide of pain?
The truth is, the addicted struggler longs to be free. No one delights in being addicted; no one wants to be held in bondage. No one’s first choice is to stay in bondage. So why do those who are addicted continually repeat the behaviors that produce pain?
The key word here is
pain
. The struggler assumes, “I can’t stop. It would be too painful—much more painful than what I’m experiencing now.” The pain these people have known is familiar and it’s laced with pleasure. But these strugglers feel a deep dread about the pain awaiting them should they begin the ascent from their familiar world of addiction.
What I say to addicted strugglers is this: Either way you go, you’re going to have pain. If you stay as you are, you’re going to have pain. If you leave the world of addiction, you’re going to have pain. But making the courageous decision to break free of the addiction is the only way you will ultimately experience freedom.
Make no mistake about it—going through rehab can be grueling. Sticking with a 12-step program is strenuous. Finding your “new normal” doesn’t come fast and easy. A person struggling to break free of an addiction will experience pain—you can count on it. But don’t underestimate the devastating pain and perhaps irreversible consequences of staying pinned by the gravitational pull of addiction.
Pain can be your
ally
or your
enemy
. Pain is our
ally
when it serves as the catalyst for a life-changing move. Pain is our
enemy
when it draws us into the world of addiction and entraps us. I tell strugglers on
Hope in the Night
(our live call-in, counseling radio program), “It’s going to hurt either way. You can either endure the pain now…or later.” One pain is
destructive
, the other,
constructive
.
Those leaving the World of Addiction ultimately realize…there’s much
more
pain than pleasure in staying! They cautiously, but bravely, step away from their wildly spinning world and onto the road to recovery, not knowing all the positive life changes that await them but hanging on to hope that a better life…a better world is ahead. If that first step is never taken, renewed self-worth…restored relationships…revitalized health…will never be realized.
It’s a new world, indeed…and one worth discovering at all costs. For where there is now pain, there can be peace. Where there is now hurt, there can be healing. A world spiraling out of control can one day be set on a positive course leading to freedom and a life lived to fully please God.
The decision to leave the World of Addiction can be bolstered by the following biblical account. Remember the prodigal son…who requested his share of his father’s inheritance early…who spent every penny of it on wild living…who became addicted to whatever brought him pleasure? Well, it didn’t take long for
pain
to overtake
pleasure
in his life. He not only ended up feeding pigs to make a living, he longed to eat their food!
But one day he made a bold and brave decision…he would make a
painful
admission before his father…he would walk that humbling, difficult, and
painful
road back home…in hopes of a better life. He confessed to his father that he had squandered his inheritance and hoped he would find
limited freedom
in his household, as a slave.
But the painful road to recovery…led to
full freedom…
as his father compassionately embraced him, still fully recognized him as his son, and even hosted a celebration!
The father figure in the story represents God, who longs to restore
you
, to help
you
, to grant
you
full freedom from whatever has you in bondage! Like the prodigal, exchange your pain and anxiety…for peace and joy!
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free”
(G
ALATIANS
5:1).
THE POWERFUL WORLD OF PRAYER:
A
fter reading about Frank’s struggle with addiction and then Karen’s (see chapter 1), I was in awe. Just a few days prior, the thought of sharing their stories—particularly in this book—was nonexistent. What had transpired was completely unplanned (but clearly planned by God). Of course, this should have been no surprise because the Lord says, “I know the plans I have for you…plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).
And there’s more! As Karen and I talked deep into the night, she shared about her tenuous walk out of addiction. She was seriously scared. How would she handle those first days, weeks, months…and yes, even years? With a solid ten-year binge (minus two days) as her background, where exactly would she begin?
Initially Karen found herself in the greatest struggle of her life. After beginning her walk out of bondage, she couldn’t afford to lose control—she couldn’t allow the addiction to win. Karen had to keep her focus on the Lord. She knew her victory would come only through Him.
Because of her desperate desire to stay sober, Karen prayed often—
simply for herself
. In the morning, throughout the day, and in the evening she kept herself continually grounded in prayer, asking for God’s amazing grace. The following prayers reflect what she prayed (which can also be prayed by any struggler).
1.
“Forgive Me”
—
My Morning Prayer (Didn’t Make It Through the Night)
Breaking an addiction is never charted as a straight, upward line on a graph. When a single step backward happens, strugglers fear a downward plunge isn’t far away. And when a few steps backward happen, then it becomes extremely hard not to give up—not to assume failure is inevitable. Strugglers want to hope but are afraid to hope because of so many past failed attempts. They need assurance that a sober life is within reach—that it is indeed possible!
O Father, have mercy on me.
I can’t do this!
I’m afraid to hope…I’m afraid to try. I keep messing up! I’ve failed again—and that hurts so much.
Father God, I’m so sorry. I don’t want to be this way, this kind of person. I have no clue how to be okay with myself.
Once again, Father, forgive me. Please have mercy on me. I know You’re not surprised by what I did last night, but I am. I’m scared—I’m scared to hope, scared to think that a life of freedom could be possible. Please, please give me the strength to hope. Build in me the desire to want to change.
God, I know I can’t do this, but I know
You can
! Please…today! Lord, please continue the change You have begun in me, even if I can’t see it or feel it. Thank You, Father, for Your compassion. Thank You for not giving up on me. Precious Lord, thank You.
“L
ORD
, forgive my iniquity, though it is great…Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin”
(P
SALM
25:11; 51:1-2).
2.
“Strengthen Me”
—
My Morning Prayer (Made It Through the Night)
After a night of abstaining, strugglers still know they are but one step away from relapse—after all, they’ve failed so many times before. They need continual strength and prayer to persevere—strength beyond themselves.
Father God, thank You! I praise You for allowing me victory last night, but I need Your strength—now! You have given me Your promise that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13
NKJV).
Enable me to cling to that promise. O God, wrap Your thoughts around my thoughts. Take control of my mind. Give me a guarded mind.
Father, please,
please
guard me from choosing my old habits—my old life of bondage—and give me strength to make new choices, to choose the new life of freedom. Take this addiction. Once again, I give it to You today. Fill my weakness with Your strength. I need the freedom You have planned for me.
Precious Lord, I know who is doing this through me. I know it’s You. Thank You!
“My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word. Keep me from deceitful ways; be gracious to me through your law”
(P
SALM
119:28-29).
3.
“Restore Me”
—
My Midday Prayer (Need to Make It Through the Day)
Afternoon to evening is the prime time to pray because it is also the prime time for the enemy to begin his work on the mind of the struggler. Whatever feelings the struggler may have in the morning hours tend to recede by midday as thoughts turn to making specific plans for the evening. Once an after-work routine is decided on and put in place, the mental and emotional shift is immediate and strong. Without the power of prayer, personal weakness—coupled with attacks from the enemy—almost guarantee a relapse. A key initiative also is to focus on the ultimate goal—restoration. This involves a restored heart, restored health, and restored hope.
O Father, heal me. Restore me. I want the life You want for me. I so want You! Build my trust in You. Replace these thoughts that are consuming me.
I cannot do this
—but I know You can. And I know You want freedom for me.
Restore my heart
so that I want what You want for me. Create in me a pure heart, O God. Keep me close to You. I want to trust You; I need to trust You. Help me to trust You.
Restore my health
. Grant me a willing spirit to do what’s best for my body—make me willing to be willing! I want to be willing to do what is right. Loving Lord, replace anything that is impure with only what is pure.
Restore my hope
—hope for the life You’ve promised me, the life You’ve created for me from the beginning of time, even knowing how I would mess up so much of it. Thank You for not leaving me. Help me, Lord Jesus. Open my eyes to see You today, to trust You, to see Your hand at work restoring my life. Precious Lord, thank You.
“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me…Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me”
(P
SALM
51:10,12).
4.
“Protect Me”
—
My Evening Prayer (Help Me Make It Through the Night
)
At the close of the workday, when a recovering person’s responsibilities are concluded, the darkness seems to usher in a weakening of the will—a weakening of resolve and desire. An open schedule poses a great danger. It feels as if all of the enemy’s forces intensify and attack as the structured obligations of the workday are replaced by the person’s self-imposed structure—or lack of it—for the evening.
O Father, precious God, surround me! I need Your protection. I need Your power. I need You. I cannot fight the temptation alone. Please take it. Please
do
it!
You promise to go ahead of me and to come behind me. You promise to come alongside me and protect me. Father, I need Your protection now. Keep me close to You tonight. Wrap me in the shelter of Your wing. Hide my weakness in Your strength. Thank You that You will strengthen me.
Lord, I want to live a life of total integrity, but I can’t do it without You. Precious Lord, protect me tonight. Thank You.
“Guard my life and rescue me; let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you. May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope is in you…You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble”
(P
SALM
25:20-21; 32:7).
5.
“Rescue Me”
—
My Refuge Prayer (When I Need a Refuge—Day or Night)
Father, precious God, You are my Refuge, my Rock, my Deliverer. I cannot fight this battle by myself. I need Your strength. I need You! Victorious God, I need You—I need Your victory in my life.
Precious God, I do want the life You want for me. I so want to be the person You created me to be. I yield my will to Your will.
You are my Rescuer, You are my Refuge, You are my Rock! Thank You, precious Lord, thank You! In Your strong name I pray.
“Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue; be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me. Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me. Free me from the trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge”
(P
SALM
31:2-4).
“Preserve Me”
—
My Daily Prayer
Every day, strugglers need to focus their hearts and minds on what will preserve their lives.
O God, preserve my life. Please, precious Father, don’t let it be wasted. Thank You for the hope of this new life. Father, allow me today to live the life You have planned for me. Turn my thoughts from worthless things. Focus my mind on Your things—on Your will for me, Your Word for me, Your way for me.
Father God, focus my heart on Your heart. You are my
focus
. You
are
my life.
Think through me, love through me, live through me today. Precious God, preserve me. I’m so human. The things I’m drawn to are such a waste of time, a waste of life, so incredibly worthless.
Father God, continue to guide me in Your way. Hold me close—don’t let me slip. Preserve me, fill me, strengthen me. Precious Lord, thank You. Thank You for grace!
“Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word…I have suffered much; preserve my life, O L
ORD
”
(P
SALM
119:37,107).
“Shield Me”
—
Destroy the Stronghold
For seeking God’s supernatural support during the spiritual battle:
How I thank You, Father, for accepting me into Your family, for adopting me as Your child—what a great gift! And, thank You that Christ, who is in me, is greater than any enemy who could defeat me. I know I’ve been bought with a price. My body isn’t my own anymore—it belongs to Christ.
Lord God, I acknowledge that the enemy is already defeated and has no authority over me. I refuse all thoughts that are not from You, and I resist the enemy’s power. As I stand in the full armor of God, I ask You to destroy any stronghold in my life.
Just as You put a hedge of protection around Job, I ask You to put a hedge of protection completely around me. Station Your strong and sturdy angels around me today that they may guard me. Please, please, please protect me.
In the strong name of Jesus I pray.
“The L
ORD
is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold…You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word”
(P
SALM
18:2; 119:114).
The Lord, who is our Shepherd, cares about His sheep. He wants all His sheep to return to Him, to be under His care. Although we’ve all wandered far from home, far from the truth, He loves His wanderers and wants His best for each one.
At times Karen would pray the Scriptures for her brother, putting Frank’s name in the verses. At other times she would pray the verses for herself as a reminder of the truth that “the L
ORD
is my shepherd” (Psalm 23:1).
The Psalms express many sensitive prayers to God—sometimes pleading, sometimes thankful—prayers that ask for God’s intervention. Many of these prayers express fear, doubt, and despair. Others convey strength, hope, and freedom. And they were all written with a heart seeking after God’s own heart.
“Free Me” Scripture Prayer
“My eyes are ever on the L
ORD
, for only he will release my feet from the snare…The troubles of my heart have multiplied; free me from my anguish…In my anguish I cried to the L
ORD
, and he answered by setting me free”
(Psalm 25:15,17; 118:5).
“Guard Me” Scripture Prayer