How to Defeat Harmful Habits (Counseling Through the Bible Series) (40 page)
• Do you feel disgusted with your behavior or ashamed of yourself after eating?
• Do you live with feelings of deep disgust and depression?
• Do you reject yourself and expect others to reject you?
• Do you feel totally unable to stop eating, even though you earnestly want to stop?
• Do you spend around two hours binge eating, or do you binge “graze” throughout the day?
• Do you often eat even when you are not hungry, and do you eat long after you are full?
• Do you sometimes stuff food in your mouth so fast you barely even taste what you are eating?
Unfortunately, those who binge fail to turn their focus from food as a temporal refuge to the One who is an eternal refuge.
“Taste and see that the L
ORD
is good; blessed
is the man who takes refuge in him”
(P
SALM
34:8).
The most prominent physical characteristic of a compulsive overeater is easily identifiable—obesity. The terms
compulsive overeating
and
binge eating
are often used interchangeably; they refer to the same ailment and identical patterns of behavior.
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Eating large quantities of food, often in secret, is symptomatic of compulsive overeating, but some binge eaters engage in another harmful habit—purging food. Bulimics may appear to be healthy when in fact they ingest huge amounts of food and then rid themselves of it. (See pages 135-205.)
Compulsive overeaters often use food for comfort to cope with the pressures of life and may allow lengthy intervals of time to pass between episodes of eating massive amounts of food. Those struggling with food should heed the call of Scripture:
“The prudent see danger and take refuge
,
but the simple keep going and suffer for it”
(P
ROVERBS
27:12).
When eating becomes the primary means of easing emotions, soothing stress, and putting off problems, it has become an unhealthy and uncontrollable addiction.
Some simple signs of emotional binge eating or overeating include eating food to…
• Avoid dealing with seemingly insurmountable problems
• Calm anxiety and soothe frayed nerves
• Cope with daily concerns and lessen life’s stressors
• Lighten mood and lift spirits in order to feel good
• Relax and feel rewarded
• Satisfy a relational or emotional emptiness in life—whether real or perceived
Sadly, such people eat to feed their emotional emptiness rather than their physical emptiness. The problem, of course, is that emotional eating can never satisfy emotional hunger because food is matter and was created by God to satisfy physical hunger alone.
• Food contains no emotional component, so it can never be food for the soul—the mind, the emotions, or the will.
• The only way to meet emotional needs is through relationships that have an emotional component.
• Eating may provide comfort for a brief moment, but when reality sets in, the illusion goes and is replaced by remorse, regret, and self-loathing.
• Rather than solving problems, compulsive, emotional overeating leads to problems such as weight gain and obesity, which then serve to reinforce compulsive eating.
• The worse binge eaters feel about themselves and their appearance, the more they turn to food to cope.
• Eating to satisfy the emotions can become a vicious cycle: eating to feel better, feeling worse instead, and then turning back to food for comfort and relief.
What emotional eaters need to do is turn to the Lord who created them and who alone can satisfy their emotional emptiness and set their spirits free.
“Devote your heart and soul to seeking the L
ORD
your God… You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing”
(1 C
HRONICLES
22:19; P
SALM
145:16).
Laxative AbuseQ
UESTION:
“What is the danger of using laxatives to lose weight?”
A
NSWER:
Laxatives do not prevent food or calories from being absorbed by the body. Rather, they cause the loss of water, minerals, electrolytes, indigestible fiber, and wastes from the colon. The result can be dehydration unless fluids are consumed to rehydrate the body, thus negating the weight loss. Some of the consequences of laxative abuse include:
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• Electrolyte and mineral imbalances that result in the improper functioning of nerves and muscles, including impairment of the colon and heart
• Severe dehydration that can lead to tremors, weakness, blurry vision, fainting, kidney damage, and even death
• Laxative dependency, which happens when the colon fails to respond to normal laxative doses and requires larger amounts of laxatives in order to function
• Internal organ damage, including lazy colon, colon infection, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and colon cancer
Clearly, laxative abuse is physically dangerous and can even become life-threatening. Tragically, some with eating disorders so despise their bodies that they come to prefer death over life.
AUSES OF
O
VEREATING
Food can function like a drug.
We can eat food in an attempt to numb us from pain, thereby turning necessary sustenance into a form of solace. The phrase “comfort food” identifies its role in our lives—
to console
.
But its pacifying ability isn’t permanent—the fix is fleeting because only a short time after eating, we can find ourselves rummaging through cupboards and cabinets or raiding the refrigerator yet again. As with drugs, food can become an addiction, consuming our thoughts and preoccupying us with when and where we’ll get the chance to eat again.
Jesus instead offers food for both the soul and the spirit that will deeply satisfy, thereby helping us to minimize any fixations on our physical appetites. He calls Himself “the bread of life,” the only One who can provide lasting spiritual sustenance and can shift our focus from what’s in the fridge to what’s in His Word. To be totally filled—to have your thirst fully quenched—heed Jesus’ words:
“I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go
hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty”
(J
OHN
6:35).
In reality, no snack food can create an obsession. (Manufacturers only wish they could make that claim.) The causes of compulsive overeating are much more complex and deep-rooted. For many people, compulsive eating is not based on physical hunger, but on emotional hunger—a craving for the love and gratification they missed during their childhood.
As you search for the truth about your past and see within your heart what is true about your present, honest answers can be the first step toward healing, as confirmed by Scripture.
“Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;
you teach me wisdom in the inmost place”
(P
SALM
51:6).
There are cultural trends in various countries that can lead to situational setups for overeating. For example, in Egypt, considered the fifth most overweight nation in the world, cultural taboos inhibit women from exercising or participating in sports. So rather than reaching for a tennis racket, Egyptian women are more prone to reach for another plate of food. Obesity among Egyptian women is particularly high.
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And a study in New Zealand concluded that the children who spent the greatest amount of time watching television were at a far higher risk for developing adult obesity than children who viewed little television.
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A sedentary lifestyle can be a situational setup for overeating and can become your “master” when instead God wants to be your Master.
“If you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door;
it desires to have you, but you must master it”
(G
ENESIS
4:7).
Other setups include…
•
Childhood Circumstances
– Overweight parents (modeling poor eating patterns)
– Rejection (using food to mask emotional pain)
– Sexual abuse (gaining weight to appear unattractive and to insulate inner self)
– Verbal/emotional abuse (eating to soothe poor self-image)
– Deprivation (turning to food as a source of security)
•
Physical Dynamics
– Less active lifestyle (discontinuing student physical education classes, changing jobs, retirement, becoming physically disabled)
– Childbirth (gaining weight during pregnancy)
– Hormonal changes with aging (lessening of metabolism, which affects the rate at which the body burns fat)
– Underactive thyroid gland (having a hypothyroid condition that decreases production of fat burning hormones)
– Weight-gaining medications (taking steroids, certain antidepressants, or hormones)
– Genetic factors or chemical imbalances in the brain
– Abnormal functioning of hypothalamus region of the brain, which controls appetite
•
Emotional State
– Depression (eating for emotional comfort)
– Grief (relying on food to replace feelings of emptiness)
– Anxiety (focusing on food to calm the nerves)
– Loneliness (looking to food to compensate for lack of companionship)
– Current abuse (feeling out of control except when able to choose food to eat)
•
Relational Patterns
– Business engagements (conducting business meetings over a meal)
– Social gatherings (fellowshipping around food)
– Busy schedule (eating out on the go rather than cooking healthily at home)
– Boredom (preparing and eating meals to help pass the time)
– Celebrating (using food as a reward)
•
Decision Making
– Weak impulse control (not saying
no
to the enjoyment of excess food)
– Poor judgment (not considering size of portions)
– Family, peer, and cultural pressure (not wanting to “hurt people’s feelings”)
– Consumption of too much alcohol (not limiting the high caloric content of alcohol)
– Celebrating the conclusion of a diet (not realizing healthy eating is a
way of life
)
– Substituting one bad habit for another (replacing smoking with overeating)
If there are situations from the past that have served to set you up to be an overeater, realize that you are no longer living in the past, and you have the power to break the hold those situations have on you today. Even if your circumstances haven’t changed, you have. You are no longer a child but an adult. You are no longer powerless but powerful. You are no longer unable to choose for yourself but free to exercise your will. You can walk in freedom from overeating!
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free
.
Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be
burdened again by a yoke of slavery”
(G
ALATIANS
5:1).
Eat this…
don’t eat that
. Drink this…
don’t drink that
.
As waistlines have broadened over time, so has the information on shedding unwanted pounds. But not all is factual. A lot of what we hear about eating healthily is fallacious and downright phony. Often what’s “in” concerning healthy eating one year is “out” the next.
The Bible addresses the seasonal, cyclical nature of things on earth:
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity
under heaven…Whatever is has already been, and what will
be has been before; and God will call the past to account”
(E
CCLESIASTES
3:1,15).
Some fakes, fads, and “fast fixes” include…
• Acupuncture, hypnotism
• Reducing machines, special wraps to melt fat calories
• Diet pills, fad diets
• Shots, surgery
• Fasting, laxatives
• Starvation, vomiting
The Bible issues this admonition regarding adopting twisted behavior patterns:
“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world
,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind
.
Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is
—
his good, pleasing and perfect will”
(R
OMANS
12:2).
Every human being is born with three God-given inner needs—the need for unconditional love, the need for significance, and the need for security.
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God designed the family to be the avenue through which He would populate the world and through which He would initially provide us with these needs. The family was to reflect His everlasting love, give us a sense of purpose, and provide us with emotional security. The family was intended to point children to God as the eternal, ultimate Need-meeter. He alone is able to provide all that we need, not only for living life but for living a life pleasing to Him—a godly life.
“His divine power has given us everything we need for life
and godliness through our knowledge of him
who called us by his own glory and goodness”
(2 P
ETER
1:3).
Have you tried to fill the emptiness of your soul by filling yourself with food? You need to understand that your destructive behavior is a result of trying to meet legitimate needs in an illegitimate fashion. Ask yourself:
• Did my overeating begin in response to a childhood experience or situation?
– Was I loved unconditionally or accepted only on the basis of my performance?
– Was my family a “safe place” for me to express myself?
– Was I truly valued for myself and treated with respect?
• Am I continuing to overeat as a way to escape?
– Am I trying to mute the pain of my past?
– Am I trying to flee responsibility?
– Am I trying to break away from another’s control over me?
• What inner needs am I trying to satisfy on my own rather than relying on God to meet them?
– Do I understand the depth of God’s love for me?
– Do I believe that I am valuable to God?
– Do I trust that God can and will take care of me?
The Bible answers us:
“If God is for us, who can be against us?…For I am convinced
that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither
the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor
depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate
us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord”
(R
OMANS
8:31,38-39).
Abby’s Tragedy and Triumph
It was a personal tragedy experienced not once, not twice, but three times over.
The news was inconceivable. Abby’s heart was shattered like the shards of broken glass sprayed across the highway. Abby’s husband, Rick, was driving with their infant son, Caleb, to take five-year-old Macy to a gymnastics class. Suddenly a vehicle speeding at more than 100 miles per hour smashed head-on into Rick’s car, crumpling it like an empty soda can. Beneath a pile of mangled metal lay those most precious to Abby.
On October 13, 2006, Abby lost her entire family. All three loved ones were killed in a horrific accident by a reckless driver who himself died in the crash.
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“Nobody in the world loved their family more than I loved mine,” Abby reflects. “Nobody. They were everything I wanted in life.”
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